Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Isabelle
Crisp morning air fills my lungs as I walk deeper into the woods. The sky above is just beginning to lighten, a soft blue glow filtering through the leaves.
Dew clings to the grass, sparkling like tiny diamonds in the sunlight.
I’m on the other side of campus. It’s not used as much in the winter. In the spring and summer, the grounds are perfect for triathlons and other outdoor sports like that.
At times like these, the woods are perfect for walks to clear the soul.
It’s just past seven. I left Kade’s apartment an hour ago. It was still dark when I stepped outside, but the sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon.
I never went back to my apartment. I just came straight out here. I needed to take a walk to sort through my mind and figure myself out.
There’s a lot resting on my heart.
I didn’t want to leave Kade. I wanted to stay and see if we’d still be the same people from last night. Then I realized staying was crazy. A guy like Kade will only use you when he wants you.
He’ll have fun with you and then move on to the next girl who attracts his attention. I don’t have much experience with men—and I doubt my one wild night qualifies as experience with men in general—but I know him.
I’ve watched Kade long enough to see how he rolls when it comes to girls. So, what would make me different to any other?
The hot quarterback of the college team is not going to pick me from the sea of women who fall at his feet. Like Parker said, there’s nothing about me that stands out from the crowd.
Kade certainly won’t pick me because the elephant carrying the secrets between us is getting bigger and starting to rear its ugly head the closer we get.
So, leaving was the only option for me.
Last night was last night. And it was amazing. I escaped, and I was as free as a person who’d jumped on a plane and flown to the moon.
I went through a different door with Kade. One where I could forget life and just be alive.
I felt alive for the first time since my mother died, and I had fun. I don’t regret one second of last night. Neither do I regret losing my virginity to Kade Gurkovsky.
I feel different in a good way, like I’ve grown up, and I like that my body is sore in all the right places.
Whatever we were for those hours we spent together existed beyond the reach of everything. At the same time, I accepted that it couldn’t last forever.
The sun had to come up. A new day had to dawn. And I had to put things into perspective.
As for what I’m going to do when I see Kade again… I haven’t figured that part out, and I’m parking it for the day.
Last night, I didn’t just give myself to him—I gave him a piece of my soul. I felt things that I never knew I could feel for anyone, and I’m reminded that I liked him first.
I liked him first, but I mustn’t fall for him. To do so would be a disaster.
I have Parker to worry about. Parker and my future. Those two things are my priority right now.
Now that my head is clearer and the angst has shifted from my soul, I think I’m right about him. Right about everything. My gut instinct is stronger this morning.
Despite that, I still don’t know what to do. Or even if there’s anything I can do.
The new plan is to just make a start. Make a start on my project. And make a start on keeping on top of everything else. Like the portfolio and work experience.
I’ll contact nearby galleries and see if I can get some work experience for weekends and the upcoming holidays. If I work through Easter, I could potentially pick up a hundred hours, then I could top up the extra time during the term.
That's the plan so far. It’s still crazy as fuck, and I can’t imagine getting everything done, so if—most likely when—I flounder, I’ll try to speak to someone.
Someone who isn’t Kade. I don’t want to get him involved for other reasons now. Yes, because Parker is his godfather, but also because he’ll read more into my problems than just the workload. He’ll take one look at me and know.
He already knows that I’m not keen on Parker. There’s no way I can tell him my true feelings.
The only people I have in mind to speak to are Thorne and Eilish. It’s a long shot, and I shouldn’t get them involved either, but they’re probably the only people I know who could possibly negotiate on my behalf.
Eilish is the sorority liaison officer, and Thorne is Thorne. Aleksander is his uncle. Maybe he could put in a good word for me.
I don’t know. This brainstorm is me trying to make the most of a bad situation. And if I fail…
Well, I have no backup for failure. I guess my life will take a very different route.
It’s funny I was so eager to leave Raventhorn at one point. I’ve grown up around the Knights, and I don’t know any other way of life, so going to Cambridge was supposed to be me venturing out into the unknown. But now I might not have the option to do that, either.
A chorus of birds sings louder as I walk by the stream. I’m reminded of last night, although these aren’t crows. I pause for a moment, closing my eyes to listen more closely.
Be bad with me.
I hear Kade’s voice loud in my head, as if he’s standing right next to me.
I certainly was bad with him. We were wild and reckless. From devouring each other at the art studio and his bed to skinny-dipping in the secret out-of-bounds spring, then heading back to his bed.
If last night was my last on Earth, I’d say I truly lived.
I open my eyes and continue down the path. I’m going to cut across the gardens and head to Myrridin.
I’m meeting my father at nine, so I want to lay down my timetable for the rest of the week before I see him.
We’ll be out all day, then I’ll have that Valkyrie Auction party to go to with Mackenzie. I still don’t really want to go, but I will because I promised Mackenzie.
Besides, with the way things are looking, it’s perhaps best I go out for one last hurrah. It might be the last party I attend for a very, very long time.
I head out of the woods and down by the cottages where the groundsmen live.
When my eyes land on Parker stepping threw the doors of the cottage at the far end, I freeze.
Shit. He is absolutely the last person I want to run into now.
He’s wearing a tank top and joggers. A towel is slinked over his shoulders, and his hair is damp like he’s been working out.
He looks nothing like a lord chancellor. But maybe that’s because I’m used to seeing someone older. Like Chancellor Potalov.
I miss him so much. I’m glad I appreciated him. I would have felt worse now that I’m in the clutches of this vampire if I hadn’t.
I hang back and hide behind the nearest tree, watching to see where he’s going and hoping it’s not the same route I wanted to take.
To my surprise, he holds the door open, and Lana DaCosta walks out. My eyes bulge when I see what’s she’s wearing.
She’s got on a camisole pajama top with her breasts practically hanging out and silky panty-short bottoms.
Parker caresses her waist and leans in like he’s going to kiss her but stops a breath away from her lips and smiles.
What is this supposed to be?
What is this supposed to mean?
My lips part and my throat goes dry as I try to process what I’m seeing.
Lana is a freshman. I’ve seen her hanging around Kade in the past. She’s known for spreading her legs.
Given how she’s dressed, I’d say she looks like she was doing just that. But with Parker? The new lord chancellor?
It’s just past seven in the morning. What reason would anyone have to see the lord chancellor at this hour of the day, dressed like that, and in the private cottages?
When Parker slips his finger into her shorts and pulls her flush against his chest, I don’t think I’m wrong to assume what my eyes are telling me.
That they’re having an affair.
And I’m the only person who's seen them.