Chapter 34
you’ve always been my favorite subject
MIA
September
I stare at him, not knowing what I want more—to laugh or to hide. There are a dozen coffee shops in Monterey, yet I chose the one Dominic Watson just happens to be at?
So much for avoiding him until Matt’s wedding.
Realistically, I knew we’d end up at some of the same pre-wedding activities, but I figured I had a couple of weeks to prepare myself.
Because I am not prepared, not even a little. While my mind races, he stands beside my table, looking at me as if the last four years and seven months never happened. And his smile? It’s doing something weird to my lady parts.
Dammit! I should be immune to his charms, especially after everything. Yet, here I am, discreetly clenching my thighs and silently berating my reproductive organs.
“Mia?”
When he says my name, I’m thankful I’m sitting down. The way my center throbs is concerning.
I finally remember how to speak. “Hi.”
Four years and three months away from this country. Away from this city. From this infuriatingly handsome man. Still, it feels like the last time I saw him—at the airport, from afar—was yesterday.
He’s different and somehow the same. His shoulders are broader, his chest more muscular, and as he approached, he moved with a precision I’ve never witnessed before. He’s all confidence and power, the same way he’s always been, but he’s also more refined.
His hair is longer than I remember. The grown-out undercut looks effortless and unfairly good. It’s swept back, the golden strands darker at the roots, ends brushing the top of his collar.
I tilt my head to the side, taking him in without an ounce of shyness.
If I’m being honest with myself, I wanted to see him.
I’ve been curious about how he’s changed after all this time.
His jawline is more defined, and he’s grown a short, neat beard.
He’s not the boy I knew when I was little, and he’s not the guy who broke my heart. He’s a man in every sense of the word.
“Are you done?” he teases.
I tear my gaze away from his black jeans and white tee—his sense of style clearly hasn’t changed—and home in on his face. “What do you mean?”
“I’m just wondering if I can take a seat. Or, if you’d prefer, I can stand here a little longer so you can continue checking me out.” He smirks, his lips tipping up in that way that used to make my knees weak.
Okay, maybe the past tense is uncalled for, because it still makes my knees weak.
“For the record,” he adds, “I’m not complaining.”
I roll my eyes. “Good to know some things never change.”
He pulls out a chair, sits down across from me, and openly stares.
Straightening, I close my laptop. I’m on vacation; I shouldn’t be working, but none of my coworkers were surprised to hear from me this week. Working during one’s time off is a hallmark of a workaholic, after all.
He casually rests a forearm on the table. “Didn’t think I’d see you here.”
“Here?” I arch an eyebrow. “In this coffee shop? Or in Monterey?”
“Both.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “I knew you’d be at the wedding, but I thought you’d show up the day before or something.”
“Seriously? You think I’d show up at the last minute and then, what, leave the next day?”
With a grunt, he shrugs. “You never visit. Figured you’d rather stay away from this place.”
“That’s my signature move,” I say, lifting my chin. “I bolt and don’t look back. You should know that about me by now.”
A smirk that has no business being so sexy tugs at the corner of his mouth. The intensity in those hazel eyes as he takes me in makes me wonder if he’s scanning me, fitting the pieces of who I was when he knew me with the pieces of who I’ve become, determining how much of his Mia is still there.
And that’s a question I never want him to know the answer to.
“How’s Italy?” he asks. “Is Milan really as beautiful as people say?”
“Italy is great. If you ever visit Europe, I definitely recommend it.” I take a sip of my coffee, ignoring how terrible it tastes. I’m sure by American standards, it’s great, but after more than four years in Italy, I’m used to a totally different flavor. “As for Milan, the answer is absolutely.”
“How’s your life there?”
I lift a shoulder. “It’s over.”
His lips part. “Meaning?”
“It was time to come home. Matt’s wedding gave me the perfect excuse to set the wheels in motion.”
He nods but doesn’t say anything. A thousand questions swirl in my mind, but I don’t ask any of them.
I don’t know if I want to dwell on the past. He broke my heart years ago, yet that heartbreak still rears its ugly head from time to time, always when I least expect it.
The way he pushed me away instead of just being honest with me has left scars on my heart I don’t think will ever completely fade.
Though closure could do a world of good. I need it if I ever want to move on. I’ve tried to move on, dammit.
Head lowered, I study my hands. The line on my ring finger is still visible, and the sight makes my heart squeeze painfully. Memories threaten to overwhelm me, like they so often do, so I distract myself by sipping the disgusting coffee.
Dominic leans back and stretches an arm over the back of the chair beside him. The move draws attention to his tattoo, and memories from my old life swamp me, visions of the hours I spent admiring it, drawing it.
“What about you? How have you been?” I ask.
“The same.”
“You’re adorably talkative.” I take another sip of my coffee. As I pull the cup away, a droplet of liquid slides down my chin. I swipe at it quickly, but not fast enough to escape his notice.
His focus lowers to my mouth, and his eyes go hazy.
For a moment, he stares. Then, abruptly, he clears his throat and raps his knuckles on the table. “You need a ride home?”
“Home?”
“Oh, uh, guess I just assumed you were staying with Dad and Monica.” He gives me a sheepish smile.
I sigh. “Yeah, I am. Until I figure out housing.”
“Okay, then I’ll ask again. Do you need a ride home?”
“Dinner is at six.”
He nods, his lips twitching.
With exaggerated movements, I check my smartwatch. “It’s three now. Were you headed there from here?”
“Nah, I’m headed home to shower, but a quick detour to drop you off wouldn’t put me behind.”
I exhale slowly. “Thanks, but I’ve got my own car. Guess I should’ve said that from the start.”
“Okay.” He stands and picks up his coffee. “I better go. Still have some errands to run before dinner.”
My heart flutters as his whole body comes into view again. Damn, I don’t remember his thighs being so thick. “Of course. It was nice to see you.”
“The pleasure is all mine.” He wets his bottom lip, looking as if he has more to say. Instead, he tips his head and exits the shop. As he passes on the other side of the window, he catches me staring and winks.
Damn it—if me coming home doesn’t blow up in my face, I will be genuinely very surprised.
After all the shit that went down four and a half years ago, one would think I’d hate this place, but the scent of delicious food and the wine in my glass make this house feel like home. The conversation is easy and full of laughter. I can’t remember a time this table saw such a lively meal.
Mom is trying to be nonchalant, but she can’t help but fuss over the food, even the napkins.
She’s happy I’m home, but we’re still not particularly close.
Sure, she tried to make amends. She visited me in Milan a few months after I moved, asking for forgiveness and apologizing repeatedly for the way she treated me.
She even apologized to Dad, and she’s been good to him ever since.
It felt great hearing her say that, and though I’ve forgiven her, the bond the two of us never formed couldn’t be fabricated just like that. And honestly, after all we’ve been through, I don’t know if it’ll ever develop.
Back straight, I sit beside Luna, sipping my wine. My voice is light when I speak. I laugh when I’m supposed to and smile when it’s expected of me. With all my might, I try to keep up with the conversation, but with his attention on me the way it’s been all night, it’s impossible.
Across the table, Dominic sits beside Allan, and unlike me, he’s not hiding his curiosity.
My skin burns under his gaze, as if my body thinks it still belongs to him. Butterflies take flight in my stomach, and my heart trips over itself every time our eyes collide. No matter how hard my brain works to remain in control, its efforts are fruitless.
“Help me with the dessert?” Luna asks, pushing back from the table. She’s small and curvy, like a pixie from Neverland, but hiding beneath those red curls and dark green eyes is a lioness. Hence the reason she’s such a successful attorney.
I nod, grateful for the distraction, and follow her to the kitchen.
“How are you holding up?” she asks, leaning her hip against the counter. “Is it awkward having Dom here?”
I chuckle, hands splayed across the cool granite. “I’m fine. Dom being here doesn’t bother me. We’re a family, after all.”
“Okay. I just wanted to check in.”
“Thank you. But truly, everything’s fine.”
She offers me a soft smile. “Are you bringing a plus-one to the wedding?”
“No.” I look around the kitchen, sighing. “I’m single.”
“I’m sorry.”
Absentmindedly, I trace the groove in my ring finger where a gold solitaire used to sit. “It’s okay. Water under the bridge.”
“Is that true for Dominic too? Water under the bridge?”
I shake my head. “No. It’s not. Apparently, feelings like that are hard to kill.”
Right as I say the last word, Dominic appears in the doorway. He’s holding an empty bottle of wine and wearing a lazy smirk that tells me he heard what I said.
My stomach sinks. Shit. With any luck, he didn’t hear more than the tail end.
“Sorry to interrupt. I came for a refill.” He tilts the bottle back and forth.
I push off the counter and glance at Luna. “I’ll go back.”
“Of course.” She nods then eyes Dominic. “My future stepbrother-in-law will help me. Right, Dom?”
“Whatever you need.”
I skirt around him and head to the dining room.
“This isn’t what most people do for their bachelor and bachelorette parties, but Luna and I have a plan, and we’re really excited about it.
” Matt grins, tugging his fiancée close to his chest. Every time I see him, he reminds me more and more of our dad.
He’s clean-shaven these days, and his crisp white shirt makes his deep blue irises stand out.
“And before you get any ideas, just know we won’t take no for an answer.” Luna grins, winking at me.
Dinner ended forty minutes ago, and after we cleaned up, Mom and Allan went upstairs. They’re headed to Washington tomorrow, so they’ll be up early. That leaves me, Matt, Luna, and Dominic.
Always Dominic.
Behind me, his presence is palpable. I feel crowded even though he’s standing several feet away, smoking. It’s annoying how aware of him I am.
“Before the wedding madness kicks in, we’re taking a little trip,” Matt says, his face alight.
Eyebrows knitted together, I frown. A trip? I just got home.
“Four days in Tahoe,” Luna adds. “We leave on Thursday.”
“Luna’s family has a big place. There’s plenty of room for the whole inner circle.”
And who is part of this inner circle? Dammit, I haven’t been home in more than four years; I have no idea who they’re close with anymore.
But my job for the next few weeks is to support the bride and groom, so I nod. “Okay. Who’s coming?”
“Don’t even think about bailing.” Matt points at me. “As for who’s coming: you, me, and Luna, obviously. Then there’s Liam—Luna’s younger brother—and Miles and Chiara.”
The last two aren’t surprising to me at all. Chia and Miles got together two years ago after being on and off for a while. They even dated other people, but nothing ever felt the same. Now my best friend is the happiest she’s ever been, with the guy who loves her more than anything.
Matt’s focus drifts over my shoulder, his expression going wary, and my stomach sinks. Of course Dom will be there.
“And Dom,” Luna says.
“Sounds fun.” I force myself to smile then take a sip of wine.
Matt and Luna eye me. They’re smiling, almost too joyfully. Something feels off, especially because they never once mentioned wanting to take a trip like this, and we’ve spent lots of time discussing their wedding over the last few months.
It was necessary, since I designed their invitations, programs, and thank-you cards. Yet, they never mentioned Tahoe.
At the sound of approaching footsteps, a shiver runs down my spine.
A moment later, he drops into the chair beside me.
He’s in a dark blue flannel shirt and black jeans, his hands casually draped over the armrests.
He smells like tobacco mixed with sandalwood and cinnamon, and those stupid butterflies in my stomach let loose again.
“It’s a great idea,” he says as he picks up his beer. “Way better than the plans Miles and I had for your bachelor party.”
Luna quirks an eyebrow. “And what were those plans?”
“Sorry, sweetheart,” he teases. “I don’t share my secrets.”
She laughs, cuddling closer to Matt. The sight of them melts my cold heart, just a little. I never would’ve believed my brother could be so smitten, yet here we are.
“What about you?” Dom’s voice is low and far too close, startling me.
To hide my reaction, I shift in my seat and cross one leg over the other.
“You excited about going to Tahoe again?”
I arch a brow. “Are you?”
He slowly licks his bottom lip, and suddenly, my cheeks feel hot.
I refuse to look away. I won’t let him know how he affects me.
But as he leans in, his proximity threatens the sturdiness of the walls I’ve built.
“I am. Can’t wait to get to know you…again.” His focus dips to my mouth. “You’ve always been my favorite subject.”