Chapter 10
The trunk might have been more comfortable.
My head aches, and my muscles scream when I roll to my side. Wait, how am I rolling anywhere?
I come fully awake with a start, bolting up in bed. I’m in a bed. A large bed sitting in the middle of a bedroom of a log cabin. Sunlight pours through the single window of the room, hitting me in the face.
Blinking away the sleep, I push away the thick comforter and jump out of the bed. My bare feet hit the braided rug. My leggings are gone, and I’m just in a shirt. And it’s not mine.
This one comes down to my knees, and the neckline sags to where it nearly exposes my breasts. My bags aren’t in the room, and the closet only has a few items hanging inside. All male.
All Artem.
Black and dark gray sweaters and button-downs hang neatly inside the closet. In the dresser I’m sure I’ll find plenty of dark jeans. He’s never been the suit and tie sort of man, but one hangs in the very back of the closet.
I run my hands through my hair, brushing out the tangles created while I slept, then yank open the door. Half expecting it to be locked, I pull too hard and end up flinging myself backwards.
At first there’s no sound, but then I hear rustling in the front of the cabin. A short hallway with two doors opens into a living area.
“You’re up.” Artem looks up from the stove where he’s mixing something in a pot.
I pull the neckline of the shirt up when cool air hits my chest.
“Where are my clothes?” I ask.
Using the wooden spoon he’s holding, he points behind me. My suitcases sit at the front door.
“You were sound asleep when we got in last night. I didn’t want to wake you.” He goes back to stirring. “Breakfast will be ready in a minute.”
“You changed my clothes without waking me?” The last memory I have of the previous night is thinking the heat was too high in the car. I’d closed my eyes for a second and then woke up here.
“You sleep soundly.” He grins, adjusting the flame of the stovetop. “Just like a baby.”
“I’m not a baby,” I defend.
His brows lift. “No. You’re a grown woman.” It feels like there’s more to his statement that he leaves off.
“Where did you sleep?” I decide not to dive into whatever he’s trying not to say.
“In bed. Where else? The couch is too small.” He turns off the stove and moves the pot to a cold burner. “If you want to get dressed before you eat, hurry up.”
“You slept in the bed with me?”
The left side of his mouth kicks up. “Elana, my cock was buried deep inside you last night, but you’re worried because I slept beside you in a bed?”
I move his duffel bag from the pile and grab my suitcases. “Fucking and sleeping are two very different things.”
“Get dressed. Your oatmeal will get cold if you take too long.”
“Oatmeal?” I scrunch up my face. I haven’t had oatmeal since I was a little kid living with my mom in the one-bedroom apartment over a butcher shop.
“Are you getting dressed or not?” He reaches for a bowl on the counter beside the stove.
“Whatever,” I mumble and drag my suitcases into the bedroom.
After changing into another pair of leggings and a long sweatshirt, I look through the bag. I was sure I had the bonds in this one. I check the second bag. They’re not there, either.
“Did you take them?” I demand running into the living room with my hands fisted.
Artem leans back in his chair at the small wooden table. The second chair has a bowl in front of it, steam billowing from it.
“Take what?”
“You know what. The bonds, did you take them out of my bag?”
“Oh, that.” The chair creaks when he leans forward, scooping up a large spoonful of oatmeal and shoveling it into his mouth.
“Artem.” I ground out his name. Patience has never been a quality of mine. I blame it on the Volkov blood. None of my brothers have any, either.
“Sit and eat, cold oatmeal is no good.” He pushes my chair out for me with his foot from beneath the table.
“You took them.”
“Of course I did. Now sit.” His voice dips at the end. It’s not a suggestion.
I plop into the chair. The oatmeal looks inviting; he’s dressed it up with raisins and honey drizzled on top.
“Are you going to tell me what you plan to do with the bonds?” I stab the oatmeal with my spoon, mixing the honey in.
“I have them in a safe place until I know what the next move is.” He picks up a mug and sips from it. “Do you want coffee?”
“No.” I take a bite of the oatmeal. It’s warm and creamy. Sweet from the honey and raisins. “Thank you.”
“There’s a small town at the bottom of the mountain. I’ll go down this afternoon to get a few supplies. I only keep the staples here, but we’ll need more than oats and dried meats.”
“We’re going to be here that long?”
He lifts a shoulder. “I’m not sure. Hopefully only a day or two.”
“I don’t think Janis is going to forget about three million dollars in two days.”
He smiles, soft on the edges but with no actual joy. “No. He’s not. But by then I’m hoping your brothers will have decided what to do.”
“You called home?”
“Not yet. This morning, I will. They need to know. In case Cole decides to take his anger all the way to Chicago. I vowed to him I wasn’t in Boston on Volkov business. Assured him Alexander wasn’t trying to make a push into the city.”
“He wasn’t,” I insist. “I wasn’t, either. I was going to offer business in Chicago, an expansion.”
He narrows his eyes slightly. “You approached someone that works with Cole O’Brien with a business proposition on his own turf, after I assured him that wasn’t going to happen. It doesn’t matter if the business was going to take place on the moon.”
I lean back, pushing my oatmeal around the bowl. “Can’t I just explain it to him? I wasn’t trying to disrespect him or anything.”
He takes his bowl to the sink. “It won’t matter. Cole has a cousin who has recently come into a powerful position. It’s a hunch, but I think the two of them together might use this as an excuse to take on your brothers.”
I sink lower in my chair and rest my head in my hands. Silence covers the room like a thick wet blanket.
This is all my fault, and we both know it. I’ve fucked up everything again.
It’s what I’ve done my whole life. Why should now be any different?
“I didn’t love him,” I mutter quietly. The question had been in Artem’s eyes last night, but he’d kept it to himself. Maybe he thought I’d confess to some deep profound love for Tony. Maybe, and I could be reaching here, he would be hurt by that.
“What was that?” He comes back to the table, moving his chair closer to me as he sits.
“I didn’t love Tony. I thought I did, but it wasn’t love.” I lean back in my seat, scrubbing my hands over my face. “At first, it was just fun, and then all the sneaking around made it exciting. Like we were Romeo and Juliet or something stupid like that.”
“He used you.” His tone is flat, unemotional as he states the same thing my brothers told me. As though being used was somehow better than my betrayal.
“And what a fool am I that I was able to be used. And now, look at the fucking mess I’ve made.” I shove away from the table and get to my feet. “I’m a fucking idiot.”
He snatches my hand before I can get away and yanks me into his lap. Capturing my face in one hand, he demands my eyes.
“Never talk about yourself like that again, Elana. Do you understand me?”
“Why? It’s true.” I try to pull away, but he tightens his grip.
“Do I need to remind you what happens to naughty girls who don’t listen to Daddy?” His voice drops, and his free hand covers my ass, squeezing through my leggings.
Heat pools between my legs, spreading like a wildfire throughout my body.
“How can you want me after all the trouble I’ve caused?” It’s a serious question. Everywhere I go a fire starts. “Maybe you should spank me again, with your belt or a switch. Something horrible, punish me for all the horrible things I’ve done.”
He releases my chin and runs his fingers gently across my cheek.
“You should punish me, Artem. Then maybe I won’t feel like this anymore.” My voice cracks. I clear my throat, hating how weak I’ve become.
“It doesn’t work that way, Babygirl. Not for something like this. The forgiveness you’re looking for isn’t from the outside. We’ve all forgiven. No one casts blame on you. It’s coming from here.” He taps my chest with two fingers. “It’s not something my belt is going to fix.”
“So, how do I fix it then?”
“Right now, you stay safe. You’ve never wanted to be involved in the Volkov business… do you really want to start now?”
“No.” I lean my head on his shoulder, inhaling the woodsy scent of him. He’s always had a calming effect on me. Just feeling him nearby was enough to soothe away frayed edges.
“Last night you said I was yours. Did you mean it? Or was it just kinky sex talk?” I close my eyes, focusing on his breathing. I shouldn’t have asked the question.
He’s going to have to answer. And Artem doesn’t lie.
His hand slides up my back and into my hair. Making a fist, he pulls my head back until his gaze levels with mine.
Heat and severity shine in his eyes.
“Have I ever said anything I didn’t mean?”
“No, but we were naked, and you were fucking me at the time. People say a lot of things when they’re about to come.” Tony used to talk about keeping me forever, he never meant any of it. And if I’m going to be honest, it wasn’t his voice I would replay the words back in later when I was alone.
It was Artem’s.
“My brothers won’t like it.”
“Probably not.” He nods once.
“They could kill you, Artem. They’ve taken limbs from men for less than what we’ve done.
” I’ve always looked up to my older brothers, mostly because of how they protected me from the indifference of our father and the hatred of their mother.
But I’m not blind to what they are, how cruel they can be to those they deem in need of punishment.
“Somethings are worth the risk.” His gaze drops to my mouth.
“Why is it when I say things like that, I get lectured, but when you say it, it sounds so sexy?”
His mouth curls at the edges. “Always questioning, always pushing the boundaries. Just accept it, Elana. You’re mine now. And whatever punishment that brings, it brings.”
The memory of Tony standing in the back room of that restaurant sneering at me flashes in my mind. The darkness, the bright snaps of light, the sounds of bullets being fired, hitting their targets. People died because of me. Because I gave into what I thought I wanted.
People I love were hurt because of my selfishness.
It has to stop.
“No, Artem.” I untangle myself from him and slide off his lap. “I won’t be responsible for another betrayal.”
Darkness rolls into his eyes. He moves to his feet, and I have to step back to keep from being devoured by him.
“Elana.”
“No.” I turn on my heel, intent on returning to the bedroom, but his big paw of a hand grabs my elbow and spins me back around.
“For two years I’ve told myself the same thing.
Too dangerous. It’s wrong. And for two years I’ve wanted to rip out the throats of any man that touched you, looked at you too long.
I won’t do it anymore. You aren’t saying no because you don’t want me, you’re saying it because you think you can’t have me. ”
“That’s because I know I can’t.”
His jaw clenches. “You already do.”