Chapter 32
Thirty-Two
I want to crumble when Lawson leaves.
It feels like my heart is cramping, an uncomfortable ache that has me gasping for air. Aunt Kendall places a glass of water on the table before smoothing circles up and down my back as she tells me to breathe.
Mom and Dad whisper to each other angrily, which just adds to my stress. I can’t bear the thought of them being so disappointed in me, but what they might do to protect their little girl terrifies me more.
The divide was so apparent in Lawson’s eyes, and right now, I’m too blinded by hurt and humiliation to care much about what happens to Rhys. I’m so fucking angry with him. How could he do this? Why would he do this?
Surely, he had to have known how serious it would be—had to have known that his dad would most likely lose his job and all for what? A big fuck you to me? Rhys deserves punishment. I wasn’t prepared for Lawson to fight me on that .
I saw the panic in his eyes when charges were mentioned. And while he was just as uncovered in the video as I was, everyone knows men aren’t on the receiving end of the backlash for shit like this.
I feel dirty.
Exposed.
Vulnerable.
How will I ever face my friends? My phone is already blowing up with messages from Anna, Mike, and Justin. And headquarters has, of course, left a voicemail. I had to put the device on silent and leave it in my room because the anxiety was too much.
“It’s a chance you take when you do something so stupid!” Mom is spitting her frustration at Dad, who nods in agreement while he looks like he wants to tear something apart with his bare hands.
My parents aren’t violent people. They are caring and kind—look at how many chances they’ve given Liam. But the one time I fuck up—even if it’s a fuck up of epic proportions—it’s like I single-handedly destroyed our family.
What could happen if the video is posted somewhere else? What if this blows back on my mother’s business? She works with children. This could be bad for her as well if it gets out.
“Just to be clear, we are very, very angry right now, Lucy, but that does not invalidate what has happened to you. This is a personal attack, and Rhys must be held accountable for his crime.” Mom blows out a breath as she looks up at the ceiling. “But ultimately, it is your call.”
This has to be killing her. Finding out that her child has been lying to her all this time, creating sex tapes with an older man—a man she trusted.
“I think everyone should call it a night for now,” Aunt Kendall chimes in.
I’m so thankful she didn’t out Lawson and me to my parents on the Fourth, and I'm grateful for the little wink she sends my way now.
“Tensions are high, and I think what everyone needs is some good sleep. We can reconvene in the morning.” She says we because my pseudo aunts and uncles are as much a part of the family as the ones with the last name Bradee.
Plus, crisis control is her job—literally.
Mom pulls me into a hug, squeezing me so tight it draws another wave of salty tears from my eyes, and Dad awkwardly pats me on the back.
This must be so uncomfortable for him. No one says a thing as I climb the stairs to my room, and it’s only when I close my door that I hear my parents and aunts start talking about how upset they are and wondering how Lawson could do such a thing.
Multiple calls and texts litter my home screen, with new ones popping up every few seconds.
To my surprise, when I swipe my finger across the screen and read through them, the majority of my coworkers are worried about me instead of throwing slurs and jabs about sleeping with our boss like I expected.
Anna
I’m sure no one watched it very long once they realized what it was. Justin is in a group text with a bunch of the guys, and they all called HR right away. Are you okay? Please call me .
Justin
Hey. I’m sure you don’t want to talk, but just know we have your back. Whoever did this will get what’s coming to them.
Mike
So, you didn’t want to date me because I was too young. That’s it, right?
I’m sorry, that was a shit thing to say. I was trying to be funny. I’m… awkward when I’m nervous.
What I was trying to say is that it’s okay if you guys are together. No one cares. But whoever leaked the video is a sick individual and deserves whatever they get.
There’s even one from Molly.
Molly
No wonder you didn’t want me getting my claws into him. You’d already sunk yours in. Seriously, though, what happened is fucked. I’m sorry. :(
I don’t reply to anyone, but I listen to the voicemail from HQ requesting a call with them tomorrow to discuss the situation. They sound apologetic and assure me the video has been removed from the company server.
But I know they can’t guarantee no one downloaded it to their personal devices beforehand .
With that last thought, I roll over and curl into the fetal position, hugging my elephant pillow to my chest. I run my fingers over the lace on my duvet. The scratchy, worn material is comforting in this time of distress.
I wish I could go back in time and say no to Lawson filming us.
“Some fucking fantasy.”
“We completely understand why you would be hesitant to return, but we want you to know we are on your side. Mr. Morgan has been terminated, and if you’re not comfortable returning to the Chicago office, we are willing to pay to relocate you wherever you’d like to go.”
I stare at my phone, plucking the beads on my elephant pillow as a random HR lady tells me the very thing I feared—that Lawson would lose his job over this.
“It wasn’t his fault.” My voice is small, unsure.
I hate it. It’s not me. But it’s what this gross invasion of privacy has done. I feel small, like the HR lady is probably just saying all of this because the company wants to cover their bases, not because they genuinely care about the life of an assistant.
“Mr. Morgan took full responsibility. He said he’s been in contact with your family, but if you’d like, we can certainly step in and help handle any legal action you wish to take. ”
So he didn’t tell them it was Rhys.
Why does that hurt so much?
Sighing, I flop back on my bed. “Thank you, but I do not wish to take legal action at this time. I also don’t want to remain with the company.
Please consider the verbal resignation I gave yesterday as my official statement.
And please add to it that I would like Lawson reinstated. He doesn’t deserve to lose his job.”
“Miss Bradee?—”
“Thank you for your call. Have a nice day,” I tell her curtly before hanging up.
A soft knock sounds at my door, and I know it’s my mom before she even peeks her head in. Knowing her, she was probably outside listening in on the conversation.
“Can I come in?”
I don’t say anything but nod my head, rolling to my side. She sits in the space next to me, running her hands through my hair like she’s done since I was a little girl. We sit in silence for a while before she releases a long breath.
“When I envisioned your future, this is not what I wanted for you, Lucy.”
“He’s good to me, Mom. He cares about me. Isn’t that what you want for me? Someone who will take care of me and still encourage me to do all the things I love?”
“Yes, sweetheart. I do want those things for you. But what I’m seeing right now is a broken woman who has had a very horrific thing happen to her, and that man is nowhere to be found.” I can hear the tears in her voice and, in turn, my own swell.
I’ve cried so much over the last two days that I figured I’d run out by now.
“You ran him off with talk of jail time, Mom. What did you expect?”
“For him to fight for you.” Her statement jars me.
I turn to see her staring across my room at a random spot on the wall.
“I think I’ve always known there was something there.
Call it a mother’s intuition. When you were younger, I didn’t want to believe it.
I didn’t want to assume that this nice man was a predator, and I told myself I wouldn’t say or do anything until he gave me a reason to or until I noticed a significant change in you that would signify any sort of assault. ”
Hearing her speak about Lawson like this gives me goosebumps. Never has he ever given off those types of vibes, so I wonder what exactly it was about our interactions that made her feel that way.
“Neither of those things ever came. So I chalked it up to being overprotective.” She looks down at my unbound locks and smiles.
“But then I did see a change. As soon as Lawson returned, I watched you light up like the Rockefeller Christmas tree. And seeing you two on the Fourth of July… you were glowing, Lucy. And I told myself maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if something were to happen.
But I figured you would at least be honest about it, that he would have the decency to come to your father and me and talk about it.
I did not, in a million years, think that something like this would happen and that when things got tough, he would leave you to take care of the mess on your own. ”
“That isn’t what he’s doing! I’m sure this is excruciating for him. Rhys and he have always had a rocky relationship, Mom.” I sit up, wiping the dried tears from my cheeks. “This is probably the biggest decision he’s ever had to make in his life. He loves me. I know he does. But Rhys is his son .”
“And sometimes you have to let your kids fall on their swords for them to learn a lesson!”
“That is so unfair. How many times have you bailed Liam out? How many times have you put him in rehab—expensive rehab—and then when he fucks up again, you just tell him it will be okay, and you’ll find another program?
” As much as I love my brother, I need my mother to hear how ridiculous she’s being.
“Lucy, you’re deflecting.”
“I’m not, though. Parents do things like that for their kids.
They take the blame, and they clean up after their messes.
I can’t… I can’t ask Lawson to stand by and watch while I press charges against his son.
” My voice rises in pitch the longer I talk.
The fact that Lawson hasn’t called me all day weighs heavily on my chest, and the more I talk about the situation, the worse my thoughts get.
What if Rhys just gets away with it? Is that really fair? Is him being hurt by what we did a justifiable enough excuse for his actions?
Why haven’t I heard from Lawson? Did he make his choice? He lost his job, of course, he wouldn’t want to lose his son, too.
“So, Rhys is going to get a slap on the wrist, and you get to what? Just deal with the fallout?”
Exhaustion slams into me like a freight train, weighing me down along with all my self-pity. “Can we not talk about this anymore, Mom? Please? I’m tired. I need a nap.”
She must hear the defeat in my tone because she relaxes. “Okay. Get some rest. I’ll wake you for dinner. ”
I don’t bother telling her I’m not hungry.
She leaves, and I curl up again, pulling my blanket over my head to drown out the buttery sunshine beaming through my window.
I’d rather it be storming.
I’m more comfortable when it’s cloudy.