Chapter 21
What the hell was that?
I have never been kissed like… that.
That kiss didn’t end. It stayed under my skin, in my chest.
My heart beats so erratically, I think I’m going to have a heart attack. My God, his lips. His taste. That was electric. I didn’t want to stop. I want more.
I swallow hard and reset myself by taking the handrail in my grip, pretending to stare at the view.
This is not why I’m here.
I didn’t come to Monarch Hills to get distracted—I came to make him help me find those women. Falling for Rio, which my body is doing without my permission, complicates it all and transforms what’s already a mess into an atomic bomb site.
Rio is connected with a world I’m desperate to leave. He doesn’t want to be, but he is.
I can’t stay with Rio even if my dad goes to jail. Luther would have to go, too. And even then, he could still out Rio at some point. We’re in an impossible situation, and my brain would do best to remind my heart–
Rio will never be mine.
But just then, when he kissed me, it felt like he already was.
I take the champagne from the edge of the balcony where I set it down, lift the flute and take a sip, barely tasting it. I need a second to breathe, to reset, to put him back where he belongs.
He’s just a partner. Colleague?
Or something like that.
Just then, inside, Luis’ voice sounds through a microphone, thanking everyone for coming and inviting guests to sit down for dinner.
The room shifts—chairs scraping, conversations breaking apart and reforming as people move, the easy chaos of the party folding into something more structured.
We move to our seats and soon we’re served. I pick at the food in front of me, moving it more than eating it, my stomach still tight with what I’d like to call anxiety, but it’s really an unfamiliar feeling. One I’ve never felt.
Rio is next to me, a wall of muscle and alpha energy I can’t ignore, but I try to. I’m aware of him without looking—the heat of his arm is too close, the space between us not quite enough.
But thankfully, Lara, Gabriel’s girlfriend, is to my left, and she keeps my brain at least half away from the thought of how our legs touch every time he shifts.
Lara is a petite blonde with the gift of gab. It’s easy to get obsessed with her; passion bleeds through her every word as she tells me about the breast cancer charity she’s started.
It supports women after breast cancer diagnosis, so they can meet women like them, and feel less alone in an experience a person can never understand unless they go through it themselves.
I reiterate what I understand about what the charity does. “So at your charity, the women form a training team and then do a triathlon together?”
“That’s it.” She nods, then takes a sip of water.
She has four drinks in front of her and drinks more than she eats.
I wonder why.
She continues. “I wanted to bring something positive, you know, mind, body, soul, a deep type of support. They have each other for their mental health, they get fitter, which studies show can reduce recurrence, and the soul part? I mean, when you make something possible that you once thought was impossible, it hits deep. You know?”
I smile. I don’t know, but I can see in Lara’s sparkling hazel eyes that she does. She built something that helps people heal and makes them feel less alone.
I don’t need to see him to know that Rio’s tuned in to our conversation. I keep my body turned toward Lara. This is normal conversation for a girlfriend to have, and yet it feels deeply intimate.
His mom, Carmen, died from breast cancer.
I’m a little afraid to ask and dive any deeper; getting closer to anyone here will make leaving harder, but I really want to know. “I take it the charity honors Carmen?”
It’s the first time I’ve stepped into his most intimate space. Even though my relationship was cold and detached, my own mother’s death was a defining moment in my life. There’s no doubt that, for better or for worse, it was in Rio’s, too.
I’m sure for Rio, it was the latter.
Lara nods. Gabriel wraps his arm around her. “And, Lara hasn’t had cancer, but she gets it.” He kisses her hair.
I wonder what that means. Is Lara sick?
Lara smiles. “Yes. It’s to honor Carmen. I was really close to her growing up, because my brother Xander and Gabriel are best friends. She would have loved something like this. Not because she was sporty, but because she believed community was the heartbeat of everything.”
It’s almost too emotional for me to handle. There’s something so fucking special about this group of people. It makes me consider possibilities I didn’t know existed. It stretches me, almost as if I’m slowly outgrowing a cocoon I never knew I was inside.
But it still feels unfamiliar, so I change the subject to something easier.
"Where’s your brother now?”
They gaze at each other, sharing years of history, story and conversation without a single word. God, they’re cute together.
Lara answers. “Xander is just about to move back from D.C.; he’s an ex-Navy SEAL like Gabriel, and thought he wanted a go at high-profile security but hated it. He’s also a single dad and thinks the city environment isn’t good for his girls. So he just bought a ranch near Yosemite. ”
Gabriel and Lara share a look of doubt.
“Why are you looking at each other like that? It sounds like he hit the jackpot to me.”
She tilts her head and thinks as if considering how to put it.
“It’s currently a ranch for tourism, and the person selling it has been a pain in his ass.
He said she’s delusional.” She laughs. “At least he and my nieces will be closer. And he’ll be a volunteer firefighter there, so he’ll still get his adrenaline rushes. He really didn’t belong out east.”
Now that I’m living the small-town life, there’s something so cozy about it. I can’t imagine living even in a place as big as Sacramento again. Fortunately, a lake house will have the same stars that Monarch Hills does.
Even if Wisconsin doesn’t have the appeal it used to anymore.
The music changes from traditional to a DJ now. An insistent beat reaches into the room and pulls people out of their seats. Around us, the energy turns on a dime. Chairs scrape back, laughter lifts, bodies begin to gather toward the open space as if drawn by a shared instinct.
Shay and Logan are up, swept into it by Santi and Kat. Lara follows, bright and laughing, Gabriel at her side without hesitation. This family, this closeness, is everything people strive for in life.
Out of nowhere, a thought comes into my mind so crystal clear it’s almost shocking.
I want this.
Not just Rio, but all of this, too.
It’s so damn beautiful and pure. Something I didn’t even know existed. And that’s why I need to stay in my seat despite Mister Brightside calling me to jump up and down on my five-inch platforms.
I’m not taking any of this with me.
Thank God I have Tina.
Even though everyone is standing now, I stay seated. The more fun I have tonight, the worse it will all feel to be on my own again.
When did I start having thoughts like this? I love being alone. I’m predictable and trustworthy.
I dart my gaze at Rio briefly. He’s still sitting, too, staring out at everyone.
We’re the only two left at any of the tables. The two odd ones out. Suddenly, the small distance between us is heavy again with the weight of that kiss.
Weirdly, despite thinking about the kiss to end all kisses, his quiet, controlled stillness somehow comforts me despite how awkward this is.
It’s been like that from the start. He’s the safest dangerous person I know.
Maybe he’s calm because the kiss was nothing to him?
I chastise myself for even wondering something so stupid.
Who cares if he liked it or not, Delilah?
He’s a means to an end. That’s it. The second I get what I need from him, I’m gone.
Santi’s voice breaks the moment cleanly. “Well, that’s just rude. My brother seems to have left his manners in the barn.” He offers his hand with a grin that feels effortless and just a little bit dangerous. “If Rio’s not going to entertain you, I know plenty of men out there who will.”
Rio’s jaw tics.
I let out a small breath that passes for a laugh, glancing at Santi’s hand.
Before I can decide whether to take it, Rio’s voice cuts in.
“If anyone takes her to the floor tonight,” Rio replies, more light-hearted than his tense posture suggests, “it’ll be someone who knows how to dance.”
Santi tilts his head, satisfied that he achieved his mission. He clearly just wanted to get us up on our feet. “By all means, Magic Mike. Show her what you’ve got.”
Santi steps away, back toward where Kat dances with their boys.
I turn slightly toward Rio, “You don’t have to…”
Before I can finish, he stands and holds out his hand.
My stomach flips. This is a bad idea. A very bad idea. I’m going to touch him again.
But I glance around the room, and we’re the only ones not dancing.
I need to keep this charade going. If I’m ever going to get away from my dad, from Luther, then this is what needs to be done.
I don’t know what Rio’s plan is for telling Enzo and Ava, but I’m not blowing any cover until we agree on it together.
And that’s the only reason I offer him my hand. I swear.
But the moment his fingers close around mine, the world seems to sharpen. His grip sends electricity up my arm as he helps me up to standing and guides me to the edge of the dancefloor.
As soon as we’re there, I let go of his hand and glance around, trying to find a place to fix my gaze that isn’t on his broad chest or stupidly handsome face.
The crowd is buzzing. Drinks have been flowing all night, and not a single person hasn’t let their hair down.
Not even Rio’s twin, Enzo, who seemed quite the reserved guy. He can really move his hips.