Chapter 23
Lyall
The sun has risen and set. I have not been allowed to leave my home once since the TTA detained me and brought me back to the past. Left with my own thoughts, all I can do is torment myself with worst-case scenarios all night. No one has come to visit me.
There’s been no word of what’s become of Gunnar. He violated the Council’s most sacred rule when he shifted to his berserker form in front of countless witnesses.
There’s no telling what will become of him. The Council could rule to strip Gunnar’s wolf. He could lose the ability to shift forever. But what if he hasn’t shifted back? What if seeing me with Soren tipped him over the edge?
The Council would have to put him down. Once a wolf goes berserk, there’s no bringing them back.
If by some miracle Gunnar is still sane, then he could agree to be stripped of his wolf.
Only, I cannot imagine him agreeing to have such a vital part of his identity ripped from him.
And if he refuses to let his wolf be taken, then the Council could rule to execute him.
My brother could die because of me.
Fury and anguish tear into me. I grab a plate off my table and hurl it across the room with a roar that shakes the windows. Another plate shatters against the wall, and another as I drown in a red haze.
I was so close to having everything I’ve ever wanted, and instead I’ve destroyed my family and endangered Soren.
Father, I’m so sorry. I tried to keep my promise to you.
Tears flood my eyes, turning the surrounding room into a blur.
My knees buckle and I fold in on myself, trying to make myself small, invisible.
I sob like I haven’t since the days after losing my father and Soren.
Time blurs as I lie there on the floor. My head aches, and my throat is hoarse.
It feels like I’ll never be able to stand again.
Someone pounds on my door, making me jump. “Are you quite done being sorry for yourself?”
I choke on a gasp. Wiping my eyes, I bolt to my feet. “A-Anders?”
Thank the gods! Someone’s come. Please let him bring good news…
“I’m coming in.”
“Yes, hurry!”
The lock rattles, and Anders steps into the room. His shoulders are slumped, eyelids heavy like he’s been up all night. “Before you ask, I don’t know where Soren is or what’s become of his memories.”
Not knowing what’s become of my mate makes me feel sick. “And Gunnar? Brother, please tell me he’s all right.”
Anders raises both hands. “The Council sent a representative to speak with Wulfric and Kieran. They’re in talks now. They only told us that Gunnar’s been detained. They’ll need the Alpha’s approval before they do anything.”
“Gods damn it, brother! Is there anything you do know?”
At Anders’s flinch, I nearly break apart all over again.
“I’m sorry,” I croak, blinking back the fierce burn in my eyes. “I’m just… I’m so damn scared. For Soren. For Gunnar. If anything happens to either of them—”
Scowling, Anders marches across the room and wrenches me into a hug so tight, it’s almost painful.
“If you try and blame yourself, I’ll whack you upside the head.
Soren made the choice to learn more about his past. Gunnar made the bloody foolish decision to follow you to the present. None of this is your fault.”
I gulp hard around the lump in my throat, hands gripping at my twin’s shoulders. “Then why are you here?”
Anders pushes me into a chair, then uncorks the barrel of mead in the corner of the room.
He pours us both a cupful, then shoves mine into my hands.
“I spoke to Wulfric on your behalf. Told him what you shared with me about Soren and what really happened that day.” Anders’s jaw twitches, his lips thinning.
I can only imagine he’s remembering the horrible events of that day, wounds he’s only just started to heal from, but he’s torn them wide open for me.
“He didn’t believe me. Kieran promised to speak with him.
He’s always been good at breaking through Wulfric’s walls to the heart behind them. ”
If I know my little brother, he will find it hard to accept.
Not only because it means letting go of his anger, but because he’ll be forced to acknowledge that he was wrong.
If anyone can get through to him, it’s Kieran.
He’s helped Wulfric let go of so much grief and guilt.
I have to believe he can guide Wulfric through this as well.
More pounding on my door jolts me from sleep. I lift my head from the table, rubbing sleep out of my eyes. The sun has risen, brightening the sky beyond the windows. I can sense who it is before they speak.
“Hey! It’s Kieran. Can we chat?”
My heart settles at his voice. Kieran will be easier to speak to than Wulfric right now. He knew about my trips to the present before anyone else. I walk around Anders, who passed out on the floor sometime during the night. Having him nearby was a comfort I am ashamed to admit I needed.
Kieran smiles, but his eyes are baggy. “Morning.”
“Did you get any sleep?” I ask, stepping aside so he can enter.
“Nope. Wulf and I stayed up all night talking.”
My heart thuds hard against my ribs. “And what of Gunnar? Is he—”
Kieran raises both hands. “He’s okay and he’s shifted back, but the Council has him detained until he calms down.”
A weight falls from my chest, and for the first time in hours, it feels like I can breathe again. “Thank the gods…”
Kieran rubs my shoulder. “Wulfric wants a pack meeting as soon as possible.”
Anders yawns behind us, sitting up from the floor. “Can his royal Alphaness wait until we’ve broken our fast and pissed?”
“Helga’s got breakfast at the house. But yeah. For sure do the other thing on your own time and not during the meeting.” Kieran grins when Anders scowls.
“I’m not an untrained puppy,” Anders grumbles, getting to his feet with a wince, then cracking the muscles in his neck.
Kieran waits for us to empty our bladders of all the mead we drank last night, and then we follow him to the longhouse. Curtains part from the windows of houses we pass, suspicious faces watching my every move. “Do our people know?” I ask, unsure if I want the answer.
Kieran shrugs. “They know something’s up, yeah, but Wulf and I haven’t shared any details.”
As we near the house, the scent of sausages hits my nose. I never turn down a meal from Aunt Helga, but my stomach is far too nervous about the talk with Wulfric.
“Just in time!” Aunt Helga says, setting a pan of sizzling sausages on the table. “Have a seat, dears!”
When I catch Wulfric’s eye, my heart jumps into my throat. His jaw is tense, hands in fists against the table.
Throat thick, I hang my head and sit down beside Anders. Kieran takes his seat beside Wulfric, and Helga settles in on my left, her hand warm on my shoulder.
“Jamie made coffee,” Helga says, her soft voice loud in the silence. “He had to work, so he couldn’t stay.”
No one says anything.
Kieran clears his throat. “I’ll have some.”
Anders passes him the pot, and Kieran fills his mug. He hands a mug to Helga, then another one to me. No one speaks as he fills our cups. My heart pounds in my ears as I wait for Wulfric to break the silence.
Wulfric sets down his mug of coffee and takes in a slow breath. Every muscle in my body tenses, bracing for impact.
“The Council have asked me to make a decision concerning the future of our pack,” Wulfric says.
“Lyall, you and Gunnar violated traveler laws. You, when you went back in time without approval, and when Gunnar went to the present. Not only that, but Gunnar exposed the paranormal world to the mundane, and Lyall, you told Sor—him about his past when you were forbidden from doing so.” Anger thickens his voice, and it takes everything I have not to hang my head in shame.
I disappointed my brother and lied to my family, but I had very good reasons for doing so.
Kieran frowns. “But hang on. I was allowed to go to the present, and Helga sent me back to the past. Why didn’t we get in trouble with them? I mean, Helga gave me the wooden wolf and that caused a whole freaking shipwreck.”
“Which was not my intention!” Helga clarifies hastily. “The Council arrived shortly after to ensure the safety of the passengers.”
Wulfric clears his throat. “Helga, behind my back, had obtained permission from the Council. They only approved her request to send you to us because you’re my fated mate.
I had also gotten permission from the Council before sending you to the present.
They had placed wards around the lake you appeared in so no witnesses would question your sudden arrival.
What Lyall and Gunnar have done is very different.
Explain yourself, Lyall. You have been keeping secrets and lying. ”
I have to take a gulp of water to ease the dryness in my throat.
“I have been, but I assure you it was for good reasons.” My lungs shudder on a short gulp of air.
“It’s exactly as Anders says. Soren never betrayed our pack.
He knew nothing about his father’s plans to attack our village.
He lied to preserve my image so you would not be forced to exile me.
He did it to keep our pack together, no matter the cost he had to pay.
” My voice shakes so badly I can hardly get the words out as they spill free, almost faster than my mind can produce them.
Year after year of keeping these secrets close to my heart and at long last they’re free. Even though my knees shake and my breaths are woefully short, it’s worth the fear to finally tell the truth.
Wulfric is quiet, frowning down at his plate.
Helga breaks the quiet. “His reasoning never did sit right with me. We raised him. He became one of us. That boy loved you so much, Lyall. How could he have betrayed us?” She dries the corner of her eye, sniffling.
“I was so lost in grief. I let it blind me to the truth.” She takes my hand, eyes shining with tears.
“I will never be sorry enough, dear. I should have fought for you, for Soren.”
I squeeze her hand. “It’s all right, Auntie.”
Anders shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut. “I could never have let myself be separated from my mate. I can’t even imagine being that selfless…”
“Lyall is,” Wulfric says, surprising me.
“Nothing was stopping Lyall from following Soren into exile. He made the choice to stay.” He pauses, throat bobbing.
“And I have never thanked you for it. Never made it clear how much your sacrifice meant to me.” When his eyes begin to glisten, it’s an effort to hold back my own tears.
“I never once thought about how painful it must have been, how losing Soren must have torn at you. I didn’t know.
I do now because if I ever lost Kieran, it would break me. ”
Kieran rubs his shoulder. Wulfric leans into his touch, taking in a steadying breath.
He never takes his eyes off me as he says, “You have always been honest with us, Lyall. You’re loyal to the core.
The very fact that you felt you had to go behind our backs, that you believed you couldn’t trust us with this… it tells me all I need to know.”
I swallow hard. “And that is?”
Wulfric takes Kieran’s hand, kisses his palm, then rises.
Heart racing, I stand to meet him as my little brother comes to me.
He puts his big hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye, man to man, brother to brother.
“I was wrong. In my grief and guilt, I wanted someone to blame, anyone but myself.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I say, gripping his arm.
Wulfric nods. “I know that now. But I pushed all of my guilt onto Soren. I allowed you to be separated. It wasn’t right, and I’m sorry, Lyall, for all the pain I caused you.”
I can’t believe I’m hearing my brother not only own up to his mistakes but apologize for them.
Wulfric cups my cheek, wiping away a tear I hadn’t realized had fallen. Then he grips the back of my neck and pulls me close, bumping his forehead against mine. “I wasn’t there for you, but I am now. I’ll speak to the Council and tell them to reopen Soren’s case.”
I suck in a gulp of air, gripping his arm hard so I don’t collapse. “Y-you will? Truly?”
Wulfric claps my shoulder. “You’ve fought for us. It’s about time I fight for you.”
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined such support, such warmth.
My knees hit the floor, and Wulfric goes down with me, holding me close as I fall apart in his arms. My broken heart is fuller than it’s been in years.
No more secrets. No more lies. With my family’s support, I’ll be reunited with Soren.
I’m no longer fighting alone. I never had to. We’ve changed in so many ways since meeting our mates. Anders has let go of his rage, Wulfric of his guilt. Mayhap I can finally relinquish my own pain.
I take a few breaths to compose myself, laughing against Wulfric’s shoulder. “Thank you, brother.”