Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ROWAN
I ’m back up by five o’clock that morning.
Just like I am every morning. Just because my head hit the pillow forty-five minutes ago, doesn’t mean my schedule has to change.
Punctuality. Discipline. Control. That’s how I live my life and, according to Doctor Hubbert, as long as I don’t get too obsessive with one or all three and take my medication, they’re fine qualities to embrace.
I'm dressed and downstairs in the Barrington Regal House's cafeteria ten minutes later. It’s always quiet at this hour.
Patients don't have to be up and in line to get their pills until eight.
Most wait until the last second to trudge down here to take them.
But there are always a few, like me, that get up early.
As I wait for the woman behind the counter to make my typical peanut butter protein shake, I turn and study the others in here.
They've all tried, and failed, since my arrival to engage in conversation with me in the mornings, but I'm not a chatty person when I first wake up.
In fact, I'm not a morning person at all.
But when you want to be the epitome of perfection, sacrifices have to be made.
One of those sacrifices? Getting up at the ass crack of dawn.
Perfection... The word echoes in my head before an image of the girl sleeping in Braum's bed comes to the forefront of my thoughts.
At first glance, that's exactly what Everly Woodrow is. Stunning in her own right, demure and naturally submissive, she is as close to perfect as I’ve ever witnessed.
My brows creep together as I consider the thick, crisscrossing scars stacked on top of one another sitting along her lower back.
There are smaller ones just beneath her plump, perky ass cheeks too.
They're repulsive.
This won't do. I can't put her on a pedestal knowing the flaws she wears.
She's beautiful, yes. But only the best of the best go into The Collection.
There's not an item displayed here or stashed in my storage unit that isn't absolutely, one hundred percent in pristine condition. Everly doesn’t belong with the other items. Her worth has diminished.
Not enough to be deemed unfuckable, but definitely too much to be considered a masterpiece.
At least, that's what I'm trying to convince myself.
Yet the compulsive need to capture, possess, and display—the one that causes the incessant itch beneath my skin—is still there.
I expected it to fade by now. I have Everly, just as the compulsion demanded.
Rather than dwindle, I swear the desire to own her is growing.
It's taking everything not to reach up and scratch my neck, my hands, my legs, or lower back.
I'm throwing away the empty styrofoam cup at five forty-five.
My weigh-in and measurements take place at seven-fifteen, as usual, right after my workout, led by one of the best personal trainers in the country.
Chad's always peppy and talkative, not caring that I don't respond—too busy focusing on my goals. As always at this time, the Fairway Gymnasium is empty. Just how I like it. This is my time, and no one interrupts it—not if they don’t want to regret it.
“Looking good, Underhill,” Chad says, sliding a towel across his forehead. He walks up to the treadmill, water bottle in hand, and passes it to me while I cool down.
I take it without acknowledging his presence.
My body is literally perfection—a temple I’ve been honing and perfecting for years.
Every muscle is worked every day, even on what are supposed to be lazy Sundays, like today, and I keep close track of my progress.
My hard work shows. Before getting thrown into Serenity Falls, I was the top male supermodel in the nation.
My body was posted on magazine covers, plastered across social media ads, and in countless commercials.
I have my own makeup line, activewear brand, and energy drink—all because I make sure there’s not a flaw on my body.
As I finish up my workout for the day, I find myself still trapped in an endless loop of questions with no answers in sight.
Last night, I watched a girl attempt to prove her fidelity to a literal psycho.
It didn’t matter that Vick had thrown her into one of those old creepy iron maidens in the chapel, or that he had threatened to electrocute her.
She gave the green light to throw the switch with her chin held high and her eyes locked onto Vick.
It’s frowned upon to use the word crazy at a psychiatric institution, but last night was fucking crazy. No one in their right mind would willingly go through that.
There’s no way in hell I would’ve done it for anyone I know. Not for Braum, who I consider my best friend at this point in my life. Not for any of my family members. Not even for any of the girlfriends I’ve had. No one is worth me going to such lengths to show them I’m loyal.
Would I reconsider that, however, if I knew someone who would go to those lengths for me ?
The reality is, I don’t think there’s anyone in my life who would sacrifice their well-being for me.
I might be famous and have famous friends, awesome connections, and a family who would do anything to cover up my mistakes, but at the end of the day I’m not really close to anyone.
There’s no one I trust more than myself, and I’ve even managed to fuck that up. Look at where I am, for fuck’s sake.
It has to be rare, finding someone willing to sacrifice themselves for another, right?
“Chad,” I snap as I slap the off button on the treadmill and step off it.
He pauses, wiping down the equipment I’d used this morning, and looks over at me. “Yeah, boss?”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
Chad straightens, his brows rising in surprise. “Naw, I just broke up with my?—”
“Before the breakup, what lengths would you have gone to for her?” I ask, swiping the towel across my face and heading for the door.
Chad opens and closes his mouth, clearly taken aback by the question.
“I, ah… I don’t know. I mean, Holt was great and all, but he had this funny way of chewing that drove me mad, and he had to go and get spiritual on me, which was weird and?—”
“So, not far,” I interrupt again with a roll of my eyes. “Good to know.”
Chad watches me curiously as I head for the door. “Why? Penny for your thoughts?”
“My thoughts are worth more than a goddamn penny, Chad,” I counter with a hard scoff before shoving open the door and leaving him to clean up.
I make it about twenty steps out of the building when Sheldon comes running up the path coming from Barrington Regal House.
“Rowan!” he calls out, breathless. “There you are.”
Judging by the dirt and sweat, he's had a rough night.
“You didn't make it back before lockdown, huh?” I guess.
Sheldon sighs loudly before falling into step with me. “No, I had to hide in the woods all night. I swear I can hear coyotes out there.”
There are no coyotes on the property. I don't even think there are any in the surrounding national park either. If there are, there's no way they can get onto the campus. The concrete walls are about nine feet tall and two feet thick. Briefly, I wonder how Everly managed the feat.
“What happened to Vick?” I ask. “Did he get rounded up?”
“No, we fought for just a second before he took off into the woods,” Sheldon scowls. “Fucking lunatic.”
My footsteps falter as I whirl around on him. “He's still out here? He's fucking feral at this point. A danger to everyone. You were supposed to stop him.”
Sheldon flushes and sputters. “Look, there's no way in the state he's in that he's kept a low profile. I'm sure they scooped him up—I just didn't see it.”
“Before you clean up, go find out what happened to him!” I snap.
If Vick’s out here, he's going to be out for blood. I've got better things to do today than deal with him.
“Y-yes, sir. I'll, ah, go do that now,” he agrees quickly with a nervous bob of his head.
“Hurry. I won't have that bastard blindside me and try to rip away your new queen,” I tell him, the words coming out before I really have time to process them.
Sheldon starts to hurry off, but his footsteps falter as he whirls around in surprise. “Wait, the girl is staying? But didn't she, like, sneak onto the property? She's not a patient, is she?”
Whatever he sees on my face causes the blood to drain from his. Swallowing hard, his Adam's apple dipping then rising, he quickly says, “Our queen, right.” He nods before he turns and takes off, heading for the Williamson Health Center.
When I get back to the suite, it’s silent.
Rather than head straight for my bedroom, I stroll over to Braum’s door.
I stop just outside and tilt my head, listening for signs that anyone’s up.
There are none. Surely Braum’s awake, he’d have to have gone down to get his medication by now.
Usually, on a Sunday morning, he’s out here studying—always one to get ahead of shit.
I guess since he has someone special in his bed this morning he’s decided to climb back in to savor the companionship.
I know I would.
That’s the crux of it all, isn’t it? Everly is special.
As I turn and head for my room then into the adjoining bathroom, it dawns on me that maybe it's not Everly's beautiful features that I'm now drawn to. Sure, that might've been the start of my need to add her to The Collection, but it’s possible her purpose for being a part of it has shifted.
I want to possess someone's unwavering fidelity. I want someone who cares for me so much there’s no limit to what they’d do for me. Sure, I could pay people to go great distances for me. Money talks, and enough cash can get almost anyone to do anything.
But what Everly has done for Vick? There’s no paying someone to do that. The lengths she’s gone to, of her own accord, are astounding. It's also beyond bewildering, but I don’t have to understand it right now. I just have to possess it.
That type of devotion—it belongs to me.