Chapter 21 #2
She sighs in relief. “Thank you. Okay, so here’s what we should do.
First, we need to split up. That backpack I had?
It’s still in that metal coffin thing you put me in.
It has everything you need to get out of here.
Grab it and look for the folded up piece of paper in the front pocket. It’ll show you where you can get out.”
“What about you?” I ask. “I grab the backpack, then what?”
“I’ll cause a distraction while you leave, and I’ll get out later. I’ll figure out the rest then.”
I scowl. Is there a question she doesn’t have the answer for? “That doesn’t seem very smart. What if you’re caught?”
“Then I still won, knowing you’re free.”
“What was your plan if we left together?” I ask gruffly. “We get out, and then what? We run off into the sunset and live happily ever after?”
I scoff at the impossibility. There’s no happily ever after for me. I’ve become a terror. Someone not to be trusted. I’ve been molded into a creature that doesn’t belong in society.
A few moments tick by in silence as we trudge along. When her answer never comes, my steps slow. When I look over my shoulder, I find Everly’s face twisted up in sorrow. She catches me staring, and it falls away slowly, a small half-smile splaying across her face.
“A girl could dream, right?”
Fuck. My feet stop moving as realization dawns on me.
That ridiculous idea is exactly what Everly wanted.
My chin drops to my chest, and I squeeze my eyes shut as longing and regret surge through me.
She’s so damn pure. A woman with a heart of gold.
How could I have ever thought she was working with her father? I’ve been so fucking stupid.
“Look,” she starts slowly, lowering her voice as if talking to a wounded, wild animal.
“I get why it can’t be like that. I knew it was a one-in-a-million chance you’d even consider it.
And because I’m not an idiot, I planned for every other option, alright?
There’s a car waiting for us a few miles away.
I thought once we made it there, we could drive to the Canadian border where one of us would slip over and the other would take off in another direction.
Mexico maybe. What we would do from there was up to?—”
I turn all the way around and grab Everly’s face.
The move is so swift she doesn’t have a chance to react before I bend down and kiss her.
The moment my lips press against hers, I feel something inside me heal.
The will to live, truly live, inflates my heart—reminding me of its presence.
This girl was made for me. In a different life, I know we would’ve been good together.
For a second, I have the world in between the palm of my hands and feel nearly whole.
It’s the best goddamn second of my life. I don’t deserve it, but I savor it anyway.
“EVERLY!”
The sound of someone calling her name, closer than before, forces me to pull away. At the same, I realize Everly didn’t kiss me back.
I stare into her face to find her wide-eyed and wary. She’s still scared of me. Rightly so. Especially when I realize one of my hands has moved from her cheek to her throat. I’m not holding her tight, but it’s enough to keep her still.
Shit. My hand drops away so fast you’d think I burned myself.
Swallowing hard, I force myself to say the words I know need to be said.
A few weeks ago, I would’ve jumped at the chance of freedom and to get revenge against the family who threw me in here.
But after treating Everly so deplorably, I know I can’t ever exact that revenge.
Not without the possibility of hurting others in the process.
“You can’t save me, Everly,” I tell her.
“You’ve seen what I can do, what I’m capable of.
Your dad gave me over to the doctors in Rookwell Tower after that first year, and those doctors…
they were evil . They used me as a guinea pig, not caring about side effects as they injected things into me.
And when I wasn’t being pumped full of drugs, I was tortured.
There are massive gaps of time I can’t remember because of what they did to me.
Now look what I’ve become because of them.
Everyone, including you, is safer with me within these walls. ”
Immediately, Everly shakes her head. “You can heal once you’re free. I-I’ll set up doctor appointments, transportation to get you there—I’ll do it all, Maverick. We don’t have to be together for that.”
God, I want to go with her. I want to go so fucking bad. But how could I trust myself not to snap? I’m going to end up hurting her. I just know it. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give up, not even my freedom, to avoid bringing more pain into Everly’s life.
“You have to go, Everly,” I spit out between clenched teeth. “Tonight. By yourself . I’ll help you get your backpack and take you to whatever entrance you found to get in here. After that?—”
Her brows pinch together. “If you’re not going, neither am I.”
“Evie, you can’t?—”
She pushes at my chest. The pressure she applies is hardly noticeable, but I step back, giving her the space she’s asking for.
“If you think for one second I’ll leave knowing you’re staying, then you don’t remember much about me.
I’m not giving up on you,” she warns. “When I told you I’d leave, it was so you didn’t feel burdened by my presence.
I was always going to be waiting out there—” She points to the woods, “—until I was sure you were out and safe.”
I shake my head. “Everly, I’m not okay . Don’t you get it? They fucking broke me. Your dad?—”
“Doesn’t get to win!” she shouts with a dark scowl before sucking a shaky breath. “And by staying here, you do that. You let Father win.”
I flinch at the accusation. She doesn’t get it. He’s already won. The game is over. It’s a crushing blow I’ve been reeling from since I woke up this morning, and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. But I have time to agonize over that while I rot away here.
“I can’t leave you in a place of pain and horror,” Everly whispers.
Slowly, she reaches up to cup my face. Her hands are so soft and warm.
A shudder rushes through me. There hasn’t been a lot of softness in my life lately, so I mentally savor this moment.
I swallow hard as I stare down into her sweet, sad eyes.
“I know you’re scared of hurting me, Mavie, of letting those demons inside of you get to me again, but let them out.
Let me love them as much as I love the rest of you. ”
It would be easier to accept the pain of being stabbed through the heart over and over again with a dull blade than hear Everly speak these words to me.
I shake my head slowly. “Everly, I can’t go with you.”
Pain flickers across her face before her expression hardens. With a huff of irritation, she turns and walks away from me—stomping in the direction she’d come from.
“What are you doing?” I call after her. “The chapel and your backpack are this way!”
“I need to find Braum and Rowan.”
I don’t think I’ve heard her correctly. “What? Why?!”
Everly doesn’t stop as she calls over her shoulder, “Because if you’re staying, so am I, and that means I have to go back. I made a deal with the two of them and have to uphold my end of it.”
A chill runs down my spine. “What do you mean, you made a deal with them?”
“They offered to keep me hidden and safe as long as I am willing to show my gratitude in whatever way they see fit!” Her words trail off as she puts distance between us, but I heard exactly what she’s said.
In whatever way they see fit ? I can only imagine what that means for those two.
Bile climbs up my throat as all the tension and anger I’ve been reining in erupts.
The thought of them touching her, demanding any part of her, floods me with absolute malice.
A snarl, deep and animalistic, rips past my lips before I can stop it.
My hands fist at my sides, and for a second, the woods turn red.
“Over my dead fucking body you’ll be theirs,” I vow to myself as I take off after her.
The snapping of twigs, the crunching leaves, and my heavy breathing give away my approach as I close the distance between us. Everly glances over her shoulder at me, her eyes going wide once more, before she faces straight ahead and runs .
“I’m right here! I’m here!” she calls out to the people yelling for her.
“No, Everly!” I call after her. “Get back here! You’re not safe with them.”
I almost choke on the words as I realize the hypocrisy of them.
“If you don’t like the arrangement, then let me know when you’re ready to leave and we can go!” she shouts. “Until then, get out of here. I don’t need you to get tangled up in their stupid games.”
Everly’s surprisingly fast. I’m not sure if it’s fear of me that gives her the extra adrenaline boost to get away, or sheer determination. Either way, she puts distance between us, weaving around trees until suddenly, she vanishes.
“EVERLY!” I roar. “ EVERLY!”
I can’t let her get back to Rowan and Braum. Pushing myself, I try to catch up. I weave through the trees, knock low-hanging branches out of the way, and jump over bushes.
It takes longer than I’d like, but eventually I hear voices.
“Everly!” Rowan roars. “Where the fuck are you?!”
“Here! I’m here!” her voice drifts through the trees.
I’m close. I charge forward, hoping I can get to her before Rowan does.
I catch sight of her just as she collides with him.
She throws her arms around his waist and buries her face in his shirt.
Behind him are Sheldon and Jonathan. Both are sporting bruises on their faces thanks to our earlier encounter.
Their heads move on a swivel as they look around, probably in search of me.
I skid to a stop just out of sight. I’m too late. If I step out now, Rowan will use her to get me riled up, and I’m unsteady enough to lose it.
“Urgh, you stink,” he snaps, his nostrils flaring with disgust. Despite her stench, he wraps an arm around her waist. “Where the fuck have you been? We went to meet you at the end of the Labyrinth after grabbing drinks only to find the gate open and you gone.”
“It was Maverick, he was chasing me,” she says breathlessly. “He scared me so badly that when I found the end of the maze, I climbed out and ran without thinking about where I was going. I got turned around, sorry. I wasn’t trying to run away.”
Rowan looks from her to around them. His eyes land where I’m hiding, deep in the shadows, before moving on.
“Alright, well, it looks like he’s in the wind. Let’s get you something to drink to calm your nerves,” he suggests. He turns them around to head in the opposite direction. “Then we can head back to the suite so you can clean up.”
“Where is Braum?” Everly asks, her head on a swivel. I can’t tell whether she’s searching for me or for the man she inquired about.
Rowan shrugs. “He’s been acting strange. He took off right after I took you to the entrance of the Labyrinth. No one’s seen him since.”
As they disappear, I linger a little longer.
The rage coiled tight in my chest shifts as dread loosens it. Suddenly the night air feels unnaturally cold.
She’s going to stay here because of me . For whatever reason, Everly still thinks I’m worth something. Her faith is misplaced, but fuck do I want to live up to her expectations. I can feel the desire to be better than I have been, and it’s growing stronger with every breath I take.
But… how? Even now, as much as I want to be a man capable of living outside these walls, my sanity is holding on by a goddamn thread. In her presence, I feel wild and out of control. What’s worse, those feelings come out as anger. I’m dangerous around her. It scares the living hell out of me.
If I leave with Everly, I’ll hurt her. My fragile control might slip, and in the heat of the moment, I’ll lash out—I know it.
I’ve done it before with others. I might’ve been able to handle myself this evening, but what about next time?
Yet the thought of her in the possession of Rowan and Braum, the two worst patients imaginable, is just as unpalatable as the thought of me hurting her again.
What am I going to do? She can’t stay here.
But if the grown version of Everly is anything like the little girl I knew growing up, convincing her to abandon an idea of hers is going to be near impossible.
It’ll take time she doesn’t have. The kings of Serenity Falls will break her before that happens.
Just as I start to panic, an idea forms.
I might not be able to go after Everly tonight, but I can find a way to help her. That backpack is still inside the chapel. She said it’s needed in order to get out of here. I can go get it tonight. That way, when I see her again—and I will see her again soon—she’ll be prepared to leave.
Pivoting on my heels, I turn and head for the White Stag Chapel.
Once I’m done there, I have an apology to make. Hopefully, Nolan will find it in his heart to forgive me for breaking my promise and going after the one person, who after all these years, still means the world to me.