Chapter 41
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
brAUM
R owan left twenty minutes ago but neither Everly nor I end up falling back to sleep.
The small colorful flecks that hover over Everly’s skin are dark purple, blue, red.
Something is bothering her. If I slipped my hard cock back into her pussy full of my and Rowan’s cum, I know The Universe would tell me exactly what’s bothering her.
But as much as I want to know, that’s not what I do.
I’ve learned relying on The Universe for all my answers has devastating consequences—like getting scheduled to have a lobotomy.
If she doesn’t tell me what’s wrong, I’ll ask.
But later.
Right now, I’m too busy considering my life and how it’s about to implode in just a few short hours.
With Vick in the know about everything and onboard, the plan should go smoothly tonight.
At least, I hope it will. Usually, when I come up with a party idea, scheme, or new initiation ritual, Rowan’s there to either add to it or to clean it up by handling the smaller details.
Guilt sits like a heavy weight on my chest.
I should tell him what’s going on. He’s been my best friend since I arrived here.
He knows almost everything about me—other than the things I simply can’t tell him.
Rowan accepts that I hear things that he can’t, believes me when I tell him things The Universe gives me permission to share.
I cherish his friendship; it’s rare to find someone I can trust so implicitly.
Now, here we are, completely obsessed over the same girl. We’re sharing her knowing by doing so, we’re sharing a piece of ourselves with one another. It’s a new level of trust. One I don’t think I’ve earned. Not with what I’m planning to do.
If I didn’t respect Rowan the way I did, this would be easier. I wouldn’t feel the guilt that’s currently suffocating me or the sense of loss as I consider leaving behind someone I care about. Unfortunately, I do respect Rowan, and I feel nauseous at the thought of hurting him.
But ultimately, I can’t tell him. I made a vow never to speak about the Children of the White Stag to an outsider, as every other member is forced to do, and I’ve already broken it to tell Vick and Nolan.
I’ve put their lives at risk—though I’m not too worried about them.
If they disappear because of their knowledge of the secret society, that's fine by me.
I wouldn’t be okay if that same fate befell Rowan. To protect him, I have to remain silent.
Everly and I are still in the same position Rowan left us in when he returns about an hour later. I can hear when he enters the suite. He showers and dresses before re-entering my room. I don’t look up, but I can feel his presence looming in the doorway.
I can also feel the thick emotion that rolls into my bedroom like it’s seeping from his pores.
Rowan loves Everly—he just doesn’t know it yet.
His demand for her love last night in the pool, her heart specifically, is because she already has his.
I doubt anyone other than me would realize why he’s taken to her so wholly.
Yes, she’s beautiful and charming, but it goes much deeper than that.
Rowan’s fallen for Everly because she has the emotional depth to give a fuck about someone other than herself.
In his world, that’s just not heard of. To him, that’s a trait worth its weight in gold.
The way he’s standing in my doorway, silently basking in the presence of the one person who can soothe his deepest insecurities and give him more than anyone else ever could, tells me he has it bad for her.
It’s kind of sweet. Too bad this can't last.
It’s a few minutes after he leaves the suite that my alarm finally goes off. Before I have a chance to roll over and turn it off, Everly is already climbing out of bed.
“I’ll shower in Rowan’s room,” she mutters and scurries out before I can say a word.
Under normal circumstances, I’d demand an explanation. But today isn’t a normal day, nor was yesterday and—for the foreseeable future—none of those days will be normal either. So, I leave her be.
Begrudgingly, I get up and get moving. I’m ready before Everly is, so I slip out and head downstairs for my pills.
By the time I come back up, with a breakfast tray in hand and a folder tucked under my arm, Everly is dressed and waiting for me.
Her back faces me as she peers through the stained-glass wall of windows, but she glances over her shoulder when she hears the door shut.
She’s chosen to wear jeans with a flowy pink top today. Her damp hair is half up, half down, with the shorter strands framing her face beautifully. Her feet are bare but in her hand she’s holding brown leather sandals.
“You’re beautiful.” The words are out of my mouth before I realize I’ve spoken.
Everly is mid-turn when she freezes as if I’ve threatened her rather than paid her a compliment. “Oh, ah... thanks.”
Her stilted gratitude is followed by an awkward silence.
Clearing my throat, I break it by announcing, “Breakfast.”
I place the tray on the coffee table, my hands shaking as I straighten.
Quickly, I cover the motion by shoving them into my pants pockets.
My stomach knots as I watch her quietly approach.
When I realize I’ve stopped breathing, I let it go at once.
What is with me? Since when do I get flustered or feel off-kilter?
I’m a fucking Milligan. People get nervous around me—it’s never the other way around.
Everly walks toward me, her face guarded as she glances at the food.
“What’s wrong?” I ask her, needing to understand her sudden withdrawal.
Just last night, she was writhing around on my cock. This morning, she was practically glowing as Rowan and I filled her holes. With us, she was a flower blossoming under the perfect conditions. What changed between then and now?
I have to know, because I need her on my side. Our future depends on her trusting me.
Everly doesn’t reply right away. She picks up an apple and takes a bite, chewing slowly as she considers her words carefully.
I watch the colors hovering over her skin change rapidly to reflect the turbulence of her emotions.
The Universe might no longer belong to me, but It’s communicating with me all the same.
“This is the first time you and I have hung out alone since your episode, Braum,” Everly admits quietly. “Honestly, I’m not sure what to expect from you.”
Shame heats my face. If I could go back and change what transpired the other day, I would.
If I hadn’t taken The Universe for granted, maybe, somewhere in Its constant stream of communication, I would’ve heard Its plan to find a new host. If I had, maybe I wouldn’t have terrorized the woman in front of me and this tension humming through Everly wouldn’t be an issue.
“I made a mistake, Everly,” I tell her, keeping my voice even. “I thought I lost?—”
“The Universe,” she interrupts with a nod. “Yeah, I know. I was there while you were searching for it.”
The skepticism in her voice is loud. Everly doesn’t believe I have a real connection to The Universe. Hopefully our impending conversation will squash any doubts.
“If you’re not interested in anything else to eat, we can go,” I offer. “I have something for you and leaving a bit earlier will give us a chance to talk on the way there.”
Everly simply shrugs. I take that as confirmation she’s ready to go. It takes me a moment to grab my stuff but we’re out the door a few minutes later. As we head for the elevator, I hand the quiet woman beside me the folder I carry with me.
“What’s this?” she eyes it suspiciously before taking it.
We climb into the elevator, and I push the button before explaining. The doors shut and we begin to descend to the first floor.
“All the information my informant could gather about you.”
Nurse Angela handed it to me this morning while I’d slipped out of the cafeteria with the tray of breakfast items.
Everly’s head jerks up as her attention flies from the file to me. Around her, the universe begins to hum in agitation. “Why do you have this?”
“Because I wanted to get to know you, Everly.”
“You could’ve just asked me.”
My laughter is loud in the elevator. “Yeah, sure I could’ve. Because you’ve been super forthcoming about yourself since we’ve met.”
“Why waste the breath?” Her face scrunches up in confusion. “I’m not here as a companion, remember? You just want to use me to irritate Maverick and to have a place to stick your di?—”
“ Don’t finish that sentence,” I snap, stiffening. As the elevator doors open and we step out, I work to keep the irritation from my voice. “You and I are pre-destined, Everly. Your body is mine, yes, but so is the mind it houses. I want to know everything about you.”
We step out onto the first floor and walk through the hallways. Everly opens the file. As she reads, I place my hand on her lower back to guide her toward the front doors and out into the fresh air.
It’s early, meaning there’s hardly anyone outside.
Those who are wandering around campus are patients making their way to therapy appointments or classes, like me.
I don’t see any staff, but I put myself between the buildings and Everly to be a shield in case anyone looks out and notices a new face.
Overhead, the sky is dark with the promise of rain later. I make a mental note to have someone run and get me an umbrella for Everly. While we casually stroll up the wide walkway, I drink in the thick, moist air and wonder what it’ll be like when I can’t taste the water in it any longer.
“Were you satisfied with your snooping?” Everly asks after a few minutes while she shuts the folder. There’s a hint of mocking in her voice, but I consider the question seriously.
“No,” I admit. Our pace is leisurely but slows significantly as I frown. “I’m not.”