9. Nyah
NYAH
Dear Diary,
Today my ex showed up with tiramisu and almost got us all killed. Zero stars. Would not recommend.
When I woke up, the sun was high in the sky outside.
After all the drama the night before, I’d tossed and turned until the early hours of the morning, mentally tussling over what the hell I was going to do.
It had been close to dawn when I’d finally stopped thinking about Luca and Lynx and Dax and Carlos Guerra and my family, and fallen into an exhausted sleep.
I got up and stared out the window.
If I focused straight on, there were glimpses of trees and the ocean between the houses around us. The neighbors had beautiful lawns and flowers, their homes as huge and opulent as the one I stood in.
Anybody else probably would have thought it all lovely.
But when I looked down, all I saw was a prison.
The heavy gates that kept trespassers out. The guards stationed at the front entrance. I’d bet my life savings there was another at the rear entrance.
They may as well have slapped an orange prison jumpsuit on me and shackled my feet.
Down below, the gates opened, and a car approached.
It took me all of three seconds to recognize it.
I let out a cry and pressed my hand against the window desperately.
I knew that car. I’d had sex in the back of it not all that long ago. I’d sat in the passenger seat singing along with an old Bon Jovi song while Dax rested one hand on the wheel and the other on my leg.
Lynx opened the door without knocking. “Nyah? You okay?”
I spun around, eyes wide. “Um, yes? I just saw a…squirrel outside.”
Lynx raised an eyebrow and started moving toward me. “Really? Was it really cute or something? Show me.”
I didn’t want him coming to the window, but of course the burly bodyguard was interested in cute woodland animals. “No!…It fell out of the tree. I thought it was dead. But it’s not! It’s fine. Gone now.”
He stopped and frowned. “Uh, okay. Do you need anything?”
All I needed was the man I loved, who was inexplicably downstairs right now. What the hell was he doing here? Was Carlos Guerra home yet? Could I just walk downstairs and throw myself into Dax’s arms and beg him to run away with me?
I wished I was stupid enough to believe that was actually possible.
Knights in shining armor didn’t actually storm the castle and save the princess.
The princess had to save herself.
Or in my case, the princess had to save her baby and the man she loved, even if it meant sacrificing herself.
But I couldn’t be this close to Dax and not see him. Smell him. Touch him.
I wanted to run down the stairs and throw myself into his arms.
Great freaking idea that would be, when the place crawled with Guerra’s soldiers. Even if we managed to escape, it would probably be a matter of hours before they tracked us down and put a bullet in our heads for my betrayal.
I wanted to beg Lynx to go downstairs and get Dax.
Instead, I sent him on a wild-goose chase.
“Actually, I was wondering if you could find someone out in the garden to get this tree trimmed.” I pointed at the leaves the barely brushed the side of the house and the edge of the window.
“It scraped on the window all night and so I didn’t get to sleep for hours.
I really don’t want another night of that. ”
Lynx nodded. “Sure. You want me to get you some breakfast or something while I’m down there? You haven’t eaten anything since you got here last night.”
My stomach grumbled, only proving his point, but food was the last thing on my mind. “No, I’m fine. But I can see the gardener down there, he’s heading around to the back of the house, so if you could go talk to him now, that would be really great.”
Lynx nodded. “I’ll be back in a few.”
I gave him a smile, desperate for him to leave, and thankful when he turned and walked away, his footsteps audible until the soft hallway carpet ate them up. I held my breath for a few seconds and took another peek out the window.
Dax had gotten out of his car and was striding toward the door with a cake tin in his hands.
I had no idea what the hell was going on. But I rushed from the window to the door and peeked out. The hallway was empty, so I dared to go a little farther. Leaning over the top of the stairs, I watched Lynx disappear toward the back of the house.
I froze as the front door opened and Dax walked through it, like he had every right to be there.
His gaze smashed into mine.
The gap between the top of the stairs and the bottom of them disappeared in an instant.
I was pretty sure I flew down them.
I only managed to pull myself up at the very last second. I stopped an inch away from touching him, forcing my arms to stay at my sides, even though I wanted more than anything to throw them around him.
He smelled like safety. The scent of his skin, his deodorant, his shampoo all mingled around him, and I closed my eyes, inhaling the familiarness of it. The ache inside me from missing him so bad was like a gaping hole I couldn’t close without being in his arms.
But a little voice in my head whispered that this room could have security monitors. That every move I made was probably recorded. And that running down the stairs in my nightie to a man who wasn’t my fiancé was probably already raising alarm bells.
My entire body stiffened at the thought someone might realize there was something more between me and Dax.
And that they’d use that knowledge to hurt him.
“You can’t be here!” I hissed at him, forcing venom into my voice. Something that would hopefully scare him off, because if he gave away what we were to each other, all three of us, baby included, were dead.
He blinked at my tone, or maybe it was my expression. But when he spoke, it was in the soft, sweet way I’d always heard from him. “Nyah…”
I closed my eyes for the briefest of seconds, drowning in the sound of my name on his lips. I wobbled, my body desperately wanting to fall into his. And made my lips say words that would hurt him. “It’ll be Mrs. Guerra soon.”
He took half a step back. And that was good. Because it gave me air to breathe that didn’t smell like him.
He clutched his cake tin so tightly his knuckles turned white. “It’s true then? You’re seriously marrying Carlos Guerra?”
All I could do was nod while my head screamed no.
I needed him to go. To turn around and walk back out the door before my last ounce of control snapped and I fell into his arms.
But he didn’t walk out the door.
He knew me too well. “I don’t believe you.” He grabbed my hand and yanked it up. “Where’s your ring?”
“Sitting on a jewelry dish in my bathroom.” It was the truth.
Carlos Guerra had forced a ring onto my finger the day my father had ordered me out of Saint View.
The old man had been there in the back of my father’s car, the two of them leering at me like sharks with sharp teeth while they’d informed me of my fate.
Dax’s thumb rubbed over the smooth skin of my ring finger. “I was going to put a ring here.”
My heart clenched so hard I thought it was going to explode. I pulled my hand away. “You can’t say things like that. You can’t touch me.”
“Why can’t I?” he whispered. “I fucking love you.”
Tears welled behind my eyes. I wanted to tell him I loved him too. But this was just cruel. This was why I’d told him I couldn’t be with him. This was why I’d hurt us both, so this thing between us would sever.
It wasn’t working. I couldn’t help leaning into him. Lifting my gaze to his until my lips were barely more than an inch from his, and the need for him so great it was a physical agony not to be closer.
A sound came from the top of the stairs, and I jumped back, spinning around just as Luca appeared on the top landing.
He was still wearing the same gray sweatpants he’d worn last night. Only this time, he had tousled bed hair to go with them.
He looked sleepy and cute, and apparently the ab muscles hadn’t suddenly disappeared overnight. But when he realized there were people standing at the bottom of the stairs, the sleepy confusion disappeared. “What the fuck is going on here?”
I didn’t know what to say. The truth was absolutely out of the question. And my brain wouldn’t work fast enough for a lie.
Worse, I could feel Dax gearing up to grab my arm and pull me behind him, shielding me from Luca.
Lynx appeared out of nowhere, striding toward us. “Dax! Good to see you, man!”
Lynx put himself between me and Dax, forcing me back a step toward Luca.
Lynx tapped his fingers on top of the cake tin, drawing everyone’s attention to that instead of the way he was discreetly breaking up the tension between the three of us. “Aw. Dax has brought us baked goods. Isn’t that nice?”
Luca didn’t seem to think it was nice. “Does someone want to explain why the fuck the owner of the Saint View tattoo shop is here talking to my father’s fiancée while she’s in her underwear?”
There was something about his tone that instantly had my hackles up.
Or it might have been the fact he’d called me his father’s fiancée rather than my goddamn name.
“Oh, shut up, Luca. I have more clothes on than you do, if you hadn’t noticed.
” It wasn’t a lie. Sure, my nightie had spaghetti straps, and my cleavage was on display thanks to the two silky triangles that barely held my boobs in, but the skirt part of it fell to my ankles.
He glared at me, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “I’m going to ask again, princess. Why the fuck are you entertaining a man who isn’t your fiancée?”
I knew I had to come up with something. But all I could do was deflect. “Maybe Dax and Lynx are friends? Did you ever think of that? Probably not, since I’m sure you don’t have any, what with your charming personality.”
Luca flinched ever so slightly at my words. Or at least I thought he did. A moment later, I was second-guessing because of the complete venom in his glare. He walked down a few steps, all menace and anger.
Everything in me screamed to run away from this man. Screamed to back up until I was surrounded by Dax and Lynx.
But something fiery inside me refused to.
Luca towered over me when we were both on even ground, but when he was on the stair above me, the height difference was only exaggerated. “I know Dax and Lynx aren’t friends, because Lynx told me he barely knew Dax when we were watching him fight the other night.”
Shit. The thick carpet beneath my feet suddenly felt like quicksand.
And I was sinking.
Luca grasped my chin and tilted it up, so I had no choice but to look into his eyes.
I hated that something low in my belly responded with need. A sexual desire to submit to anything he wanted.
An entirely unhelpful bodily response right now.
I couldn’t even blame it on ovulating since I wasn’t doing that anymore.
Dax cleared his throat. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on here, and I really don’t care. I need to get to my shop. I just wanted to know where to put this cake my mom sent over.” He held up the cake tin.
It was enough to break whatever spell Luca had put on me with his stupidly brown eyes. He snapped his gaze to Dax’s, his eyes going squinty with confusion. “Why the fuck would your mother bake us a cake?”
I was wondering the same thing. Clearly Dax’s brain didn’t work under pressure any better than mine did.
But Dax confidently said, “Because she works here. She’s running late today but she said she didn’t want Mr. Guerra’s new fiancée to miss out on having cake with her midmorning coffee.”
Luca blinked. “Wait. You’re Virginia’s son?”
“Yes.”
Luca was clearly still suspicious. “Virginia doesn’t have a son named Dax.”
Dax raised an eyebrow in challenge. “Doesn’t she? What are her kids’ names then?”
Luca stalled on the question.
“Maddax, Roarke, and King,” Dax filled in for him, disbelief thick in his tone.
“But it’s hardly surprising you didn’t know that.
The woman’s only worked here your entire life, but why would you know her children’s names?
It’s not like you ever ask the hired help about their lives, do you?
Because anyone not worth a million dollars isn’t really that important to you, are they, Luca?
” He shook his head, disgust rolling off him.
He set the cake tin down on a perfectly polished side table.
“Enjoy the cake my mother spent hours making for you last night. I’ve got things to do.
” He took the final word and walked out the door.
Pink embarrassment flushed Luca’s cheeks. His jaw clenched, and his gaze flickered to me for a second before he turned around and disappeared back up the stairs. A moment later, his bedroom door slammed.
I flinched at the noise, barely able to breathe and wondering how the hell we’d managed to get out of that.
That little old lady who’d waved to me yesterday from the corner of the living room was Dax’s mom?
We’d been together such a short amount of time; I hadn’t met his parents and he hadn’t met mine.
Through the big windows at the front of the house, I watched his car drive away.
Lynx pulled the lid off the cake tin and took a deep sniff of the dessert on the inside. “I don’t know about you, but nearly getting caught with your ex by your new fiancée’s son always makes me hungry.”
The look he gave me said Dax and I hadn’t been fooling anyone. And that Luca might not have the proof that something was going on, but he knew enough that he wasn’t going to let it go.
I grabbed Lynx’s arm. “You have to tell Dax to stay away from this house,” I whispered. “He can’t come back here.”
Lynx sighed heavily and stuck his finger into the creamy top of the rapidly warming tiramisu. “On one condition.”
I was desperate enough to agree to anything. “Name it.”
He stuck his finger in his mouth and closed his eyes in bliss. “You don’t make me share this. I get it all to myself.”
I smiled at him. “That’s seriously all you’re going to ask for in exchange for being the keeper of my secrets?”
He snorted on a laugh. “I’m not stupid enough to think I know all your secrets, Nyah. I’m betting you have a dozen more.”
Didn’t I ever.
How I was going to keep them all was the biggest question.