4. Aspyn
ASPYN
W hen it finally comes time to take photos, the day gets uncomfortable. The family insists I pose for photos with them, even though I’m already in all the bridesmaid photos, and I politely insist they take at least a few without me. I end up allowing myself to be in just a couple of them.
Tara and Sean’s mother, Cecile, looks right through me and gives me a frown. Beside me, she whispers, “I’m sorry. You’ll always be family to me.” She knows, though no one else seems to notice.
Deacon and Steele are also featured in the family photos, as they’d been honorary Wright family members since high school, when they first met Sean.
Deacon’s mother had asked the boys to make themselves scarce after school while she taught piano lessons, so they’d ended up with the Wrights most days, and they’d practically adopted the brothers.
How could I think I’d get Deacon and Steele in the breakup?
They had more history with the Wrights than I did.
I didn’t meet them in college until after I’d met Sean, and they’d pledged the same fraternity.
That’s how I met them, one night at a frat party.
Sean had introduced himself to me first, back in my pink hair days.
I look down at the ring on my right index finger and breathe deeply. Would Deacon have given me this ring if he intended to side with Sean and dip out of my life without a backward glance?
Would he want me to have his mother’s things? Probably not.
Deacon stands by Sean, who’s still being his shitty self, and he rests his hand on Sean’s shoulder for the photo, providing a convincing enough smile. Still, I see the shadow on Deac’s face. He’s not happy to be in this photo either.
Finally, Deacon beckons to me for the last group photo, and he puts his arm around me as I stand between him and Steele, with Sean behind me, not daring to touch me.
After a few blinding flashes, the group breaks up, but not before Cecile wraps me in her arms, whispering to me to call her in a few days.
“Let’s blow this joint,” Deacon tells me, wrapping an arm around my waist and leading me toward the little bridge over the creek behind us. Thankfully, Tara had insisted we all wear Converse to her wedding, so I’m in comfortable shoes while we carefully traverse to the center of the bridge.
Leaning over the creek, I peer into the clear water to count the fish near the surface. Some of them jump up and out of the water.
“I wish I had my fishing pole.” I reach into the pocket of my dress— yes, it has pockets— and grab a hair tie. My perfectly curled light-brown golden hair is beginning to fall flat anyway, so I quickly make a fishtail braid over my shoulder and tie it off.
“It’s astonishing how quickly you make such an intricate braid.” Deacon has his phone out, and I get the weird sense he may have just taken a photo of me. When he leans forward to show it to me, he smiles and says, “See how gorgeous you look today?”
I laugh it off and tell him, “I’ve always been good with knots. Dad taught me young. Gosh, I miss him.” Their house in the mountains sits empty without them. Eventually, I had hoped Sean and I would move into it along with the family we created, but in the meantime, I use it as an Airbnb.
The money I pocket from it has helped me repay my student loans, pay off my Durango, and still have some fun money left over.
I use some of it to pay for a housekeeper to take care of the sprawling house before and after visitors come.
Now, I have no choice but to move back and live in the monstrous house alone until I decide what to do next.
My parents always intended for me to have their house, but it’s too big for just me.
“How are your parents doing? Have you told them about the breakup?”
I groan. “They rarely call. I’m the one who reaches out to them, and you know the time difference with Japan is ridiculous.
I can’t believe Dad is refusing to retire from his cushy Marine's job. He should leave it up to the younger guys, you know? Mom only moved a few years ago when she was certain I was stable with Sean, and I’m afraid to tell them how Sean has let them down.
Mom trusted him to take care of me, and look how well that turned out, huh? ”
“I’m sorry. What’s next, Beck?”
“Well, I guess I'll escape to Mom and Dad’s mountain home, but I have it booked with Airbnb guests for the next few weeks. I’ll wait things out at Sean’s until then. I’m in no hurry to relinquish the property to him, anyway.”
I tip my face up to the sky to look at the puffy, picture-like clouds.
One looks like a turtle overhead, while another reminds me of a bear.
It feels so good to be away from Sean, but I’m morose about losing the family I’d come to view as my own.
Knowing they won’t be my family for long makes my heart feel torn and empty.
Who would I have now? What would I do on holidays?
“With your parents in Japan, I know Sean’s family kind of became yours,” Deacon says as if he’s reading my mind. “Must be difficult to know that it may not last, with blood being thickest and all.”
I frown, my throat tightening with the sobs I’m trying to hold back, so I clear it a few times. Two hot tears fall from just one eye, and I blink back the rest.
“Yeah. I think that might be the hardest part. I’m an only child, and I’ve enjoyed being part of such a big clan. They’re all lovely and welcoming. Cecile is like a second mother to me, as was your mom.”
“Hey, you’ll still have my dad and my big, crazy family. With five male siblings, I’ve got enough family to go around. Of course, they’re older and have families now, and our gatherings surely include a lot of diaper changes, toddlers fighting, and heating of bottles.”
I smile. “I love that, Deac. Your family is fantastic. I especially adore Steele, you know that.” I glance back down at the reception, and I spot Steele, since he stands a solid three inches taller than everyone else there.
He’s a great guy, one year older than Deacon, and he teaches fifth-grade science to a bunch of kids he views as his own.
He’s not much for relationships and hasn’t brought a girl around in the longest time.
“Steele loves you, too. They all do.” Deacon pushes a stray strand of hair behind my ear.
“So why aren’t your sisters-in-law desperate to get hold of Lillian’s jewelry and accessories?”
“They were all willed to me and Steele. Aunt Louise got a lot of her clothes, but she asked me to take care of them since the grief was too fresh for her, so I agreed. It’s a daunting task for two bachelors.” Deacon shrugs, but I know the topic is painful.
Reaching out and throwing my arm around Deacon’s waist, I lean against him. “I get that and will help if I can. Deac? This ring...” It stares up at me, twinkling. “It’s astounding. Are you really going to turn against Sean after being friends for so long? Just because of what he did to me?”
“Beck, it’s not just what he did to you.
He’s slime in a way he didn’t used to be.
It’s simple, choosing you. Sean hasn’t been the greatest friend lately anyway, not like he was in high school and college, and I’ve been closer to you than him for years.
Hell, half the time I call, you end up picking up his phone anyway, and you’re the one I come to with my problems. Of course, it’s going to be you, Beck, and Sean is no big loss. Not for me, and certainly not for you.”
“I’ll take one of those bear hugs now,” I whisper. When Deacon surrounds me in his arms, I finally let myself cry.
“I can’t believe he did this,” I sniffle, hating that the tears are over a tool like Sean. “I think he may have been cheating for most of our relationship.”
As a bereavement counselor and friend, I should try to get Deacon to open up about his mom’s passing, not make him comfort me over my idiot ex. I let Deacon hold me for a few minutes before I dry my tears and refuse to feel sorry for myself any longer.
“Let’s hike. Nothing too strenuous, but it’ll help us, being out in nature. I doubt we’ll be missed.” Deacon grabs my elbow and points me toward the peaks behind us. He knows just what I need.
Thankfully, my dress is party length rather than an evening gown, and it’s not too tight to move in. Though, it’ll be the first dress I’ve ever hiked in, but there’s a first time for everything.