25. Deacon
DEACON
I underestimated how difficult it would be not to shout from the rooftops, “Beck married me!” Some of Beck’s friends are still warning her how she should take “time to heal,” which throws her off.
She tells me Sean rarely crosses her mind anymore, but he still drifts into mine, even after a lifetime of friendship.
We’re in the kitchen making breakfast when Beck tells me, “I think Tara knows. Or she thinks she knows. Tells me she knows I have a secret, and she’s gonna get it out of me.”
I laugh. “Oh, no. She’s persistent, too. How about your parents? I’m having a rough time not telling Dad!”
“Well, at least we told him at Thanksgiving that we were engaged. My parents were very happy to hear about our engagement when I told them last week, as you know. They keep calling, asking us to fly out to Japan for Christmas, but I just want to enjoy a quiet holiday. I finally told them no last night,” Beck tells me as she flips pancakes.
“We can visit another time. I hear it’s beautiful there! I finally put in our RSVP to the Wright family Christmas party. You’re sure you’re ready to face that prick? Sean is going to be there, I’m sure.”
“He’s in the past, where he belongs. I think I can stand being in his presence once a year.
Besides, you’ll be with me, and you’re all I need.
” Beck wraps her arms around me tightly and squeezes as I move the bacon around in the pan.
“Oh, I did hear from Tara that his girlfriend, Quinn, is coming. It’s weird to put a name to Nurse Q. It seems less sexy than I imagined.”
I chuckle at the thought.
“Anyway, I guess she’s an earthy type, really into the outdoors. Sounds like he found my replacement fast, huh?” Beck grins. “I hope she realizes Sean wouldn’t be caught dead in the woods, and he’d feed her to a bear to spare himself!”
Beck lets me go and plates some pancakes.
“Well, hey, I’m glad that talking about him doesn’t upset you so much anymore. I don’t disagree with you about the bear. Sometimes I think of Sean, but I said everything I needed to say, and until he can figure out how to be a better person, I’m okay with the radio silence,” I tell Beck.
“You deserve a better friend than Sean. I’m glad the guys didn’t choose sides, though I think they would have taken yours,” Beck replies.
So far, even Sean’s cousin Jett had continued talking to me and inviting me to hang out regularly.
Everyone seemed to understand who the guilty party was, and they also seemed happy for us about our engagement, although there were whispers of “too soon.” But Beck and I, we’re on our own timeline, and none of those whispers matter.
When Beck told Marissa about our engagement, she taunted her, saying she “knew it all along” that I was always a better fit for Beck than Sean. I appreciate that the girls are all on our side and cheering on our relationship. They can see that Beck is truly happy now.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask her as we sit down at the kitchen table with our breakfast spread and a carafe of coffee.
“How excited I am about our May wedding plans! I'm glad we booked the venue I wanted. I’m going to love the incredible mountain view, even if we freeze our asses off outside.” Beck grins widely.
I shrug. “People can wear coats if it’s chilly. Who knows? With climate change, maybe it’ll be a hot day. We’ll keep the ceremony quick, and head inside the resort afterwards. I’m glad we agreed to keep things small, just the people we truly love. Are you sure we should invite Sean’s parents?”
Beck guffaws as she chews a huge bite of pancake. “Come on, babe. They’ve been like second parents to both of us for a long time. Cecile wants to throw us an engagement party, and if I say no, she’ll insist on hosting the bridal shower. She loves us.”
Beck has a point. She’s usually right. I’ve stopped fighting that.
I think about the ring on her finger and what it means for the rest of my life.
How lucky I am to call this woman mine. Waiting over a decade had been the right thing to do, no matter how many times people told me to get over it and move on with my life.
The only life I want is one with Aspyn Beckett—and it’s the life I have.
Ten years of best-friendship had been enough to feel absolute certainty that Beck is the right one, for now and forever. I never want to look at another woman. She’s captured my heart so fully, it will always be in her hands. Marrying her was the easiest decision of my whole life.
The fact that she’s now Aspyn Beckett Ambrose makes me the happiest man in the entire world. Though, she’s always been Beck to me and always will be.
“My turn to ask what you’re thinking.” Beck sips her coffee and looks over at me expectantly.
“How fucking delighted I am that you took my last name.” I give her a look of disbelief and shake my head. “And how did I get so lucky?”
“Mm, you think you’re lucky now. Wait until the food settles, and you may find yourself even luckier.”
Like I said. Luckiest guy ever, maybe in the entire universe. I glance over into her hazel eyes that shine mischievously and green, and Beck’s beauty steals my breath. So. Lucky.
Suddenly, Beck looks morose, and I demand, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s just, I’m scheduled for a birth control shot Monday since the pills are making me so crazy. And I don’t want to do it, Deac.” Tears well up in her pretty eyes, and she swipes them away. I lean closer and take her face in my hands.
“Why is that, love?” I need to hear it out loud.
“I’ve always wanted a big family like the one you have.
Being the only child wasn’t my favorite experience, and I’m already almost thirty.
If we don’t start soon…” Beck trails off and then adds, “I want to start soon. Though, we haven’t had much of a honeymoon period, but who knows how long it will take for me to get pregnant? ”
I long to put my hand over her mouth, but I restrain myself. She’s about to speak, but I interrupt and give her my most dazzling smile. “Then, let’s have babies, Beck.”
She jumps out of her chair and squeals. “Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you, and I know that?—”
More firmly, I tell her, “Let’s start in half an hour when the food settles.”
Beck throws herself into my arms, nearly knocking me off my chair. I stand up, squeeze her tight, and twirl her around like I did the day we were married. By the time I put her down, she’s crying happy tears and bobbing her head happily.
“I’ve never wanted anything more than to have a family with you, my love.
You’re the light of my life, and our children will be so lucky to have you as a mother.
You love fiercely, have so much compassion, and you’re one of the smartest women I’ve ever met.
Loyal to a fault. Courageous. You’ll raise our children to be kind, loving people who make the world a better place.
I’m ready to do this with you. Today. Tomorrow. Whenever.” It’s as easy as that.
Beck sobs lightly, and I cover her mouth with mine. We leave the food on the table as I lead her up the stairs and back to our bed, where I show her just how eager I am to give her the baby she longs for.