Chapter 5
The next day, Lord Edward draped himself over his desk, working despite the throbbing headache caused by such profound cock-based realizations.
He heard a tap on his window.
“Why in fuck’s name can’t I get this thing open anymore? Are you trying to lock me out?” asked Tobias as he swung into the room.
“Mrs. Chaffinch is making some improvements to the place,” said Edward, gesturing to the fresh caulking around the windows and newly painted walls. “I know you’d never allow yourself to be locked out, you nuisance.”
In spite of his words, he gave the lad a pat on the shoulder to welcome him to the slightly improved room.
“Smells terrible,” said Tobias, collapsing on his friend’s bed. “You should move back to a worse lodging house.”
“I forgot she’d had the work done. I’m barely sensible today.”
“Rough night breeding the elite?”
“Afternoon. My sister-in-law.”
“Do I need to steal something big so I’m prepared to bail you out of gaol? Why would you do that?”
“My brother asked me to.”
Tobias lifted a brow, fully cognizant that there must be more to the story.
“And she’s a ravishing beauty.”
“Don’t go falling in love, Dick Stone. Bad for business.”
Edward laughed, letting his sore head thump against the desktop. “I’m trying to write my memoirs so I can get out of this blasted business. There must be a better way to earn our meat pies.”
“You’re not about to tell the secrets of the nobs, are you? If so, I want to read first.”
“That’s the problem. I can hardly write about the things I’ve done without being put in the dungeon.”
“Couldn’t you just make up a name? A false name.”
“I suppose I could use a pen name. A nom de plume,” he said with a flourish. “But everyone knows of Dick Stone’s exploits. Off to the gaol I’d go.”
“So you’re stuck sticking wives for money, eh?”
“For now,” sighed Edward, his exhalation ruffling papers on his desk.
“And how’s the latest one? Your brother’s wife?” asked Tobias as he unwrapped some burned chestnuts next to Edward’s head.
The acrid smell of the cheap nuts turned his guts because of the headache, but he wouldn’t insult Tobias by turning up his nose at food, especially not when he’d clearly used his small purse to buy enough for both of them.
“You’ll like this: my sister-in-law, the ravishing Calista, has a companion.”
“Don’t all the fancy ladies have one?” he asked, chewing.
“Well, these ladies are…how old did you say you are?” asked Edward, giving Tobias a once-over as he tried yet again to estimate his age.
“Old enough to hear whatever gossip you want to tell me,” he returned.
“The two ladies,” said Edward, holding up two fingers in a v-shape. “They’re very close.”
Edward snapped his fingers together.
“But how do they…” Tobias chewed thoughtfully. “I know gents sometimes…” He snapped his own two fingers together. “But how do two ladies do it if there’s no piece between ’em?”
“I suppose that’s when they summon me,” said Edward, not sounding certain.
“But if they don’t want a brat and just want to…”
“Enjoy each other’s company?” asked Edward, his eyebrow raised.
“Can they?”
Edward thought back to Calista’s wet, well-worked cunny and stifled a groan. The last thing he needed, besides this headache, was a hard cock. “They most certainly can.”
“Then why did they let you put it in the one lady?” asked Tobias, innocently stumbling onto the question Edward had been struggling to articulate all day.
“I don’t know,” he said, just as puzzled. “But I mean to find out.”