Chapter 7
7
Weston
T he only thing I was hearing right now was blah, blah, blah. Tamara was doing too much talking, and I was over it. I just wanted to go to sleep. We had just got finished releasing our weeks’ worth of frustrations on each other with all the fucking we just got finished doing. I sat there scrolling on my phone, trying to look over a few emails, but my concentration was being thrown off by Tamara’s rambling.
“I just don’t get it. I’m the head bitch in charge. I do this shit in my sleep, and these bitches want me to take the time out of my day and show them what the fuck to do? What the fuck was school for? Lazy ass kids these days.” She scoffed.
I rolled my eyes. Tamara was a real estate lawyer. She had her own firm and had many people working for her. Her reputation around town made her firm a hot commodity. She volunteered often at the local college for interns, but honestly, it was a publicity stunt in my eyes. She talked more shit about these college students trying to make a way for themselves than anything.
Tamara was beautiful on the outside, but she was a fucking bitch on the inside, which is why I never bothered taking this relationship more than what it was. She had milk chocolate skin and rocked a black pixie cut, and she always kept it looking sharp. Everything that Tamara wore was designer down to her fucking socks. Naturally, she was beautiful, with slanted eyes, a small button nose, and nice lips, while everything else left on her body was worked on or adjusted. She tried to lie and say it was because of her working out, but as many positions as I have had her in, I noticed the incision scars. She wasn’t fooling me.
“Weston, did you hear me?” she snapped in my face.
My nostril flared. That irritated the shit out of me. I wasn’t her fucking dog.
“No, Tam, I was busy checking emails. What is it?” I snapped.
She scoffed. “I’m asking, have you decided whether you want me to go with you to your company’s party?”
I rolled my eyes. Tamara had been asking me for months about attending the annual gala that TRU hosted. This year, I was one of the recipients being honored for my impact on the company. Everyone who was someone would be at this event. It was a formal black-tie event, and everyone who was a part of TRU made it their business to come out. Anyone who was on the elite list of the town got invited. Tamara was one of them. She wanted to be my plus one, but I didn’t want that, nor need that. Tamara wasn’t my woman, and I didn’t need people thinking that.
“What time do you have to be at your office? Don’t you have a seminar to go over with your interns?” I asked, avoiding the question.
She threw herself back on the bed, laying her head on the pillow.
“I’m letting my assistant handle it. I took the day off to spend with you. Stop avoiding the question, Weston. Don’t think I didn’t notice you throwing that random question in there.”
I let out a deep sigh. “Tam, listen, we have discussed this. I don’t mix my personal and work business together. This is an event where anybody and everybody will be there. We don’t need people speculating that we are something more than what it is.”
“And what are we, Weston?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest. “We do boyfriend and girlfriend shit all the time! I can’t continue to let you string me along like this! There are plenty of men out there who are asking for my hand in marriage, but I tell them no because of you. I want you to make that commitment,” she firmly insisted.
My eyebrow raised. If Tamara had the impression that us fucking each other once a week was her definition of boyfriend/girlfriend shit, she had the game twisted.
“Commitment? Tamara, if you have men out there wanting to marry you and build a life with you, then consider their offer. I told you that’s not something I want. You are doing yourself a disservice by telling them no. We are not on that level, and you know that. Stop breaking your heart.”
Tears pooled in her eyes.
Tamara and I had had this conversation before, but nothing to this extreme. She would also want more, but I always reminded her that my heart was closed off to commitment. There wasn’t a woman out there who could change my mind.
“Listen, I would never want you to miss out on what is out there for you. I told you before that marriage and kids are not one of my goals in life. If we need to stop doing whatever we are doing because it is confusing you, then I’m okay with that.”
“But Wes, you don’t think that your heart will ever change?”
I sighed. I was over the conversation. I said what I said, and whether she wanted to accept that was her decision. However, I knew there was nothing she could or anyone could do to change my heart.
“Tamara, I have to work in the morning. I have meeting after meeting tomorrow,” I lied. I needed space.
“Weston...”
“Tam—”
She climbed on top of me, placing a kiss on my neck. “Please, just consider it...”
Tamara started to ease her body down under the cover, and seconds later, I felt her warm mouth around my dick. I instantly forgot everything that we were talking about.
“Damn,” I moaned.
“Just consider it,” she cooed, coming up for breath after damn near sending me into a coma.
“Whatever. I don’t care, Tam, just don’t fucking stop.”
She returned to the task at hand, and before I knew it, I was spraying myself in the back of her throat, forgetting everything that we had just discussed. After I had her screaming to the roof once more, I made it my mission to block her and cut this thing off with her. Tamara was getting too attached, and it was becoming annoying. After thirty minutes of Tamara calling me all kinds of bastards and motherfuckers, she was walking out of my condo. I immediately blocked her phone number and let the front desk know to add her to the banned list. There was nothing there anymore. There were plenty of women who would let me get my fix and did not want commitment.
* * *
Instead of going into the office first thing this morning, I took all my morning meetings by phone. The plan was to go into the office after my eleven o’clock meeting. My last meeting included Taja in it. I couldn’t help but stare at her beautiful face the entire time on camera. If I could’ve had it my way, instead of Tamara giving me my fix, I would’ve rather it been Taja. There was something special about this girl, and I couldn’t put my finger on it.
It pissed me off seeing her have to deal with a man who didn’t realize how special she was. If I had not been closed off, Taja would be the type of woman I wanted. She deserved it all and more, yet a nigga like me wasn’t capable of giving that to her. Every time she smiled, my heart did a weird flutter I couldn’t explain. I stood by the notion that Taja cursed me. The feeling she made me feel was different.
As soon as the meeting ended, my phone rang. Rae’s name popped up on the screen, and I hesitated before answering.
“Sup, Rae? What y’all need now?” Everything exhausted me at this point.
I could hear a commotion in the back, but not enough for me to make out what was happening. Rae had yet to say anything.
“Rae? What is it you need? I don’t have time for this right now. I’m in back-to-back meetings today.”
She sniffled, and that caused me to sit up in my chair.
“Wes, it’s Mama,” she mumbled. I could tell she was crying, and her voice was breaking.
My spine stiffened. “What do you mean it’s Mama? Rae, what the hell is going on?”
“Paramedics rushed her to the ER. They are saying she is in a diabetic coma. It’s not looking good, Wes.”
The wind was knocked out of me. My chest felt as if it were about to fall out on the floor. My mother was in a coma. My mind raced, wondering how something like this could happen.
“I’m on the way.”
I couldn’t think straight. I had forgotten where my shoes were, and I couldn’t find my wallet. I was growing frustrated. It felt like I was racing against the clock. My eyes landed on my keys sitting on the kitchen counter. I immediately snatched them up and ran out of the door. My heart and my feet moved at the same speed as I rushed out of my condo to see about my mama.
* * *
A thirty-minute drive turned into a twenty-minute drive. I pulled into a parking space, not caring if it was reserved for a physician or not. I immediately ran into the entrance, rushing past everyone, not even waiting in line. The receptionist was an older black woman who looked irritated already, even though the day had just started.
“I need to find Beatrice Jones, please,” I rushed out.
She looked past me, then back at me with a raised brow.
“Sir, I don’t know if you noticed, but there is a line, and you cut in front of all these people. Now I’m sure that at your adult age, you were taught how to wait in a line, and that is what you will do. So, take yourself to the back of the line and wait to be helped like everyone else,” she sassed.
Even though she had an attitude, I had a bigger one. No, I would not wait like everyone else because my mother was possibly declining, and I had no time to wait.
“Listen, lady, I don’t give a damn about these people. My mother is here, and she—”
“Weston...”
I spun around and saw a sunken, red-eyed Rae standing there. She looked defeated and exhausted. Ignoring the receptionist, I ran over to her, firing off questions at her.
“Rae, what is going on? Where is Mama? Diabetic coma, she had diabetes?”
Rae held her hands up, stopping me from speaking. “They moved her to ICU. Come on, I can take you up there.”
Rae and I walked toward the elevators, neither one of us saying anything to each other. I wasn’t sure what to say. All of this was happening fast, too soon. The elevator doors opened, and Rae checked me in with the receptionist. We walked down a long hall before coming up to my mother’s room. I could see her through the glass doors of the room. Besides the tubes running from her body, she looked as if she was sleeping. My throat tightened, and my eyes became cloudy.
“You wanna go in? The doctors said she can hear us even though she is in a coma.”
“Mama had diabetes? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
Rae let out a deep sigh. “Weston...we—”
“No, y’all didn’t!”
“We didn’t need to. Mama found out she had diabetes a year ago. She could manage it, but when the medication got expensive and her insurance stopped covering it, it was hard to get. When she would ask for money, it wasn’t for the reasons you think. She would lie because she didn’t want to worry you. I begged for her to stop lying to you, but she didn’t.” Raven paused, then looked at me. “The other day, when she invited you over, it was because she and I got into a heated argument because her health was declining, and I told her to reach out. After you acted the way you did, she didn’t think it would be best to ask.”
Rae wiped her tears. “Her blood sugar got too low, and she was out of her insulin, which is why she is currently in the state that she is in.”
The walls around me fell. It felt as if the floor was swept from under me. This was all my fault. My mother was in the predicament that she was in because of me. My mother could die, and it would be my fault.
“Wes...Wes!” Rae called out to me.
“I-I n-need to leave. I’ve got to get out of here.”
“Wes, please don’t do this right now! Please, for the love of God, stop thinking about yourself. Our mama needs you! Shit, I need you right now!” Rae shouted.
“I-I...”
I spun on my heels and ran out of the unit, quickly pressing the elevator button to the first floor. My vision was blurry from the tears that I could no longer hold on. My mouth was dry, and I felt sick to the stomach. As soon as I made it to my car, I turned on the ignition because I needed to get off hospital grounds, but when I went to put the car in reverse, my hand shook, and my mouth became heavy. My head fell back on my seat and the tears rushed like a river downstream.
“Mama...I’m so sorry.”