Differences

Chapter 10

10

Taja

I sat in the car while Rae ran into the store to get her some toiletries to take back to the hospital. We had already made it to her home, where she had showered, changed, and packed a fresh bag. She even had enough time to do her hair. We had been gone from the hospital for two hours, and despite having only met Rae for the first time two days ago, she was a great energy. We didn’t discuss anything personal, only gossiping about the latest celebrity tea. She was big on celebrity drama, and so was I. While waiting in the car for her to return, I decided to shoot Weston a text to see how he was holding up.

Me: You doing okay, Tank Head?

I stared at the three bubbles until his text came.

Weston: Funny. I’m doing good. I didn’t realize I needed this alone time with my mama. The doctors say she can hear me, so I’m just talking her ear off.

Me: That’s good. I’m proud of you.

Weston: And I’m thankful for you...

I read the text twenty times, and each time, my heart skipped a beat. Never would I have thought that Weston Jones would be thankful for me. In my mind, when we kissed, it was filled with a different type of passion. It felt as if he was pouring into me. The kiss played like my favorite record over and over. My body craved more of him. However, I knew it wouldn’t be right. Weston was having a moment, and his emotions were all over the place. It was innocent. Plus, no matter how good it seemed, I had Jay, and I made a promise to myself to be there for him.

So, instead of responding to Weston, I called Jay. The phone rang once and went to voicemail. I tried again, and the same thing happened. By the time Rae returned to the car, I had called Jay seven times and sent ten text messages. Rae must have noticed my panicked expression because she had placed her hand on my shoulder.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

“Um...my boyfriend...he’s not answering the phone. He’s DoorDashing, and I know his phone should be fully charged, but it keeps sending me to voicemail,” I rushed out.

“Oh no! I hope he is okay. Do you have anyone you can reach to see if maybe they have heard from him? Maybe he is home sleeping. We can go by. I’m in no rush to get back. I don’t want to interrupt Wes and Mama’s time.”

I looked over at her. “Are you sure?”

Rae nodded. “Go check on your man.”

We sped off toward my apartment. I was filled with guilt. While I was out making sure Weston was okay and being his support system, Jay could’ve been somewhere hurt. I made up in my mind that if Jay was home, I was going to give the keys to Rae and have her drive herself back to the hospital. Jay was my priority, and I didn’t have the time to be flocking around with another man.

* * *

After fifteen minutes, I arrived at my apartment complex. I searched for my car and noticed it in the parking spot. A sigh of relief rushed over me. He must’ve been in the house sleeping, and his phone had died. I parked the car and unbuckled the seatbelt.

“Rae, I hope you don’t mind driving yourself back. My boyfriend is here. There is my car.”

“Oh yeah, no problem, girl. I know how it is to be in love with a man. Go ahead, I don’t mind pushing the Benz.”

I reached over the console and gave Rae a tight hug before jumping out of the car and running up to my apartment. I could hear the loud music coming through the door. A bigger sigh of relief rushed through me because that confirmed that Jay was there. We had received so many complaints about how loud he played his music, but he didn’t care. Once I entered, I could instantly smell his cologne. I looked around the messy living room, knowing that I had just cleaned it before I left, but Jay was there and had destroyed it. Any other time I would’ve been pissed, but it only confirmed he was home and safe.

I trailed to the bedroom, checking in the spares to make sure he wasn’t in there. I made it to our bedroom and opened the door, freezing at the sight of Jay lying on his back with a woman riding him as if her life depended on it. Jay’s eyes were rolled to the back of his head as a blunt sat in between his fingers. The girl threw her head back with passion as she rode him to ecstasy.

My body locked, and I couldn’t move. I stood there watching Jay have sex with another woman in my bed in my apartment. I heard my name being called, which snapped me out of my trance and also caused the woman to stop riding Jay.

“Taja—”

“Aye, why you stop riding?”

The woman climbed off Jay, looking at me as if she saw a ghost.

“Taja, it’s Rae. You left your purse in the car—”

Before I knew it, Rae stood beside me, and Jay was jumping up from the bed, trying to cover himself.

“Taja, baby! This is not what it looks like. See, I...um...the weed...”

Tears soaked my face and shirt. Everything was blurry, and I had forgotten how to speak.

Rae wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. “Hey, come on, let’s get you out of here,” she urged, removing her arm and grabbing my hand.

“Aye, Taja, who is this? Are you gonna listen to her and not even let me explain?” Jay grilled me.

Rae and I kept walking, neither one of us turning around to entertain Jay. He continued to call my name even after Rae closed the door shut in his face. She helped me inside the car on the passenger side. She looked at me before starting the car.

“I’m so sorry you had to endure that. No one, and I mean no one, deserves to be cheated on. From what I have seen so far, you are a beautiful person. Don’t let an ain’t shit man like him dim your light.”

I nodded my head. “Thank you,” I replied in a whisper.

“Tank Head taught me that.” She smiled softly.

Rae put the car in reverse and pulled from my apartment complex. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do now. Everything happened so fast. One thing I knew was that Jay had made his bed, and he would have to deal with the consequences.

* * *

We arrived back at Raven’s home, and I looked at her, confused.

“Go inside. I wouldn’t feel right driving you back to the hospital and having to be around more sadness. Use whatever, do whatever. Take my number. I’ll call and check on you, or you can call me if you have questions.”

I shook my head. “Rae, you don’t have to do this. I can go get a room or something.”

She sucked her teeth. “Nonsense. This is the least I could do. Somehow, you got my brother to come to his senses, and I’m thankful for that.” Her voice cracked.

“You’re welcome. I appreciate this.”

She smiled and hugged me tight. I handed her my phone, and she texted me the code to the door. Rae waited ’til I got inside before she pulled off. I walked over to the couch and laid down. My phone rang, and it was Jay. After his third time calling, I answered.

“Ta! Baby, where you at? Let me explain!” he shouted through the phone.

I said nothing. I let the tears roll down my face.

“Ta, please talk to me. Please understand that I’ve been stressed. How am I supposed to be the man of the house, yet you’re the money maker? Do you know how much that made me feel like less of a man? Yet you kept bragging about your wins and promotions at work? You forgot about me, Ta.”

My heart broke even more. It wasn’t broken because Jay felt I neglected him or made him feel like less of a man—that was far from the truth. My heart broke because instead of being happy for me, he envied me.

“You got twenty-four hours to get your shit and be out of my house.”

I hung up the phone, not bothering to wait for a reply. I powered my phone off because I knew he wouldn’t stop calling. Turning on my side, I decided that the only thing I could do was cry myself to sleep.

* * *

“Taja...Taja.”

My eyes fluttered open as I heard my name being called. I turned to see who it was, and it was Weston. I instantly sat up, straightening myself. I knew my face was crusty from the tears, and I looked insane. I looked outside and saw that the sun was no longer shining. The situation with Jay must have worn me out more than I thought.

“What time is it?” I asked. My voice was hoarse from crying so much.

“It’s eight o’clock

“Shit, I need to be heading out.”

I tried to stand, but Weston softly pushed me back onto the couch. He stared at me.

“What?”

“Rae told me what happened.”

I cursed internally. I didn’t need Weston knowing my business or saying I told you so. Plus, he had bigger things to be concerned about.

“I’m good. Things like this happen, and there is nothing I can do about it. You have other things on your plate, and worrying about me is not one of them.”

“Taja—”

“Weston, it’s okay. I need to be leaving. I have overstayed my welcome.”

I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I needed to leave. All I wanted to do was lay in bed, wait ’til the coast was clear at my apartment, and then go home. Even if it meant staying in a hotel, that’s what I was going to do.

“Taja, let me be there for you. You have shown up for me in a major way. Come on, let me help you out.”

I felt my eyes pooling. I didn’t want to cry again, especially not in front of Weston.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I stated, trying to keep myself from breaking. I dropped my head to take deep breaths.

Weston lifted my head with his finger. He was inches from my face. “We don’t have to talk about it. Just let me be there for you in other ways. Come on, let’s go.”

He reached for my hand, and I hesitantly placed it in his. He then walked me to the car, opened the door, and helped me into the seat.

“Let me lock up the house. I’ll be right back.”

I watched as Weston ran back up to the house and did as he said. It only took him a minute before he was back inside the car. He reached into the back, pulled out a bouquet of flowers, and placed them on my lap. My throat tightened. As much as I wanted to object, nothing came out. I knew if I had opened my mouth to speak, I would start sobbing.

“Before you protest or say I didn’t have to, I did. When Rae told me what happened and how you were, I felt as if I needed to make you feel better, even if it was only for a few seconds.” He paused. “Look at me, Taja.”

I hesitated for a second before looking at him.

“This is not your fault. He fucked up! He lost one of the best things that could have happened to him. You remember that. Any man would be lucky to have you, Taja. You are one of a kind, and I mean that shit.”

Tears were flowing, and I had no intention of stopping them.

Weston reached for my hand and placed a soft kiss on it. “I got you, Taja. Just like you had me, I got you.”

* * *

We pulled up to his condo thirty minutes later. A small chill shot up my spine as I remembered the night we spent here six months ago. He pulled the car into the garage and was soon helping me out of the car. We walked in silence as we headed up to his place. Once Weston unlocked the door, the scent of his place filled my nose, sending a nostalgic feeling through my body. The further we walked into the condo, the more images of us from that night continued to pop up in my head. I looked toward the balcony and couldn’t believe that I thought that was going to be the last time I saw that view just six months ago. Now, here we are. Same view, but different circumstances.

“You can have my room,” Weston offered, snapping me from my thoughts.

I shook my head. “No, it’s already enough that you are letting me stay. I couldn’t possibly put you out of your bed.”

“My bed is a California king bed. The guest room bed is a queen. After the day you had, you need as much comfort as you can get. I’m not taking no for an answer. It’s already been decided,” he asserted in a stern tone.

I didn’t even bother to argue. “Can you show me to the bedroom, please?”

Weston smiled. “Follow me.”

We walked down a short hall and came up to a room with double doors. Weston opened the door, and I instantly drooled. The bed was just what he said it was. It had white sheets and a big white duvet comforter. The pillows were white and brown and matched the white and brown furniture around the room. He had black and white photos of random black people that sat under warm lights. I didn’t expect his room to be so airy and peaceful. I was expecting a bedroom that was dark with no character or color like the rest of his condo.

“I love your room.”

“Thank you. It’s the one thing I have control over. It’s my serenity. I don’t let anyone behind these double doors, so consider yourself lucky.” He winked at me.

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“The bathroom is behind that door. Use whatever is in there. There is extra soap, bubble bath, loofahs, washcloths, and towels.” He looked around the room before looking back at me. “Hungry?”

I shook my head.

“You need to eat, Taja.”

“I’m okay. I honestly just want to take a bath and get in bed.”

“I understand that. Well, if you need me, just holla.”

Weston walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. I made my way to the bathroom and almost burst from how beautiful it was. He had a walk-in shower and a standalone tub. I searched through the cabinet and found the lavender bubble bath. I ran the water, filling the tub up just enough to not overflow but enough to cover my body. I slid my body down, allowing the hot water to sting it. Usually, I would’ve let it cool off to avoid the painful heat, yet this time, I needed to feel something besides sadness.

Instead of relaxing and taking advantage of the bath, I bawled my eyes out. The hurt of knowing that you did everything for a person just for them to turn around and do what they did, hurt so much.

I stayed in the tub ’til it turned cold. Finally, removing myself from the water, I looked in the mirror. My eyes were red and swollen. I’d never experienced being cheated on, but it wasn’t something I would wish on my worst enemy. There was nothing Jay could do to make me forgive him. I knew if I were to take him back, I would never live a happy life. The majority of my relationship would be me questioning what he was doing and whether I was still enough. Cheating was a deal-breaker for me.

I grabbed another washcloth, running warm water over it to help with the swelling of my eyes. When I walked out of the bathroom, the smell of fresh French fries hit my nose. I looked on the bed, and there was a tray with a few McDonald’s bags. No matter how hard I tried to contain my smile, I failed miserably. There was tons of food inside the bags, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat all of this by myself. I reached for the shirt that Weston had placed on the bed for me. It was a pink and white button-up shirt covered in his scent. I inhaled the expensive cologne, getting lost in how sweet but masculine the scent was. There was a knock at the bedroom door. Weston was healing my broken heartstrings, and he didn’t even know it.

“Come in,” I permitted.

The door creaked open, and Weston peeked his head in. “You decent?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

Weston had changed out of the clothes he had on prior. He now wore gray sweatpants and a white T-shirt. The smell of fresh soap coming from his skin suggested that he had just finished showering. He walked further in, standing beside me. His shoulder softly brushed against mine, sending a shiver down my spine.

“I wasn’t sure what your favorite was, so I ordered the whole menu.”

“I see, but I appreciate it. I was just about to come out and ask if you wanted to eat some of this with me.”

“Oh, nah, I don’t want to crowd your space. You probably need some alone time. I can eat something else.”

I thought about how much alone time I would have once Jay packed all of his stuff and got out of my house. Right now, I didn’t need alone time. Otherwise, my mind would wander to Jay, and I would spend my night crying instead of eating. Plus, I wasn’t ready for Weston to leave just yet.

“I don’t want to be alone. Please, have some,” I insisted.

Weston looked at me, and I could see all the empathy in his eyes.

“Go sit on the bed. Let me get something to lay all this food out.”

He walked out of the room, and a few minutes later, he came back with another tray, a bottle of wine, and two glasses.

“I figured you might need a drink or two.”

“Thank you, Weston.”

He arranged the food and drinks on the trays and sat beside me. I stared at the food, trying to find my appetite.

“Your fries are gonna get cold,” Weston warned.

I sighed. “I just can’t find the strength to eat.”

“Don’t let that nigga fuck you up like that. He fucked up. If anything, he should be the one not eating. Look at it like this. You are doing yourself a favor.”

He reached for a fry and placed it toward my mouth. “Open your mouth, Taja.”

Even though I knew he was talking about the fry, my mind went straight to the gutter. I listened and opened my mouth, chewing on the fry. Before I could swallow it, he was back at the entrance with another one.

“Open.” He fed me another fry.

A whole medium fry and six nuggets later, Weston was still feeding me. As he reached for the cheeseburger, I placed my hand on his.

“I think I’m full, Wes, thank you.”

He chuckled. “Oh, my bad, I got a little carried away.”

“Don’t be sorry. Eat the rest of it. I’ll pour us a glass of wine.

I reached for the wine and poured two glasses for Weston and me. When I passed the glass to him, he accepted it. He sipped it, placed it on the table, and went back to eating. Weston was eating as if he hadn’t eaten all day. He must’ve noticed how I was looking at him because he placed the half-eaten cheeseburger down. He reached for a napkin and wiped his mouth.

“My bad. I haven’t eaten all day. When Rae came back to the hospital and let me know what happened, I didn’t bother to get food. I came straight to where you were.”

Guilt rushed through me as I remembered why I was with Weston in the first place. Today was supposed to be about him needing support regarding his mother, yet here he was, supporting me during a time when he was going through something because of the shit Jay had done.

“This is so selfish of me,” I stated. “Weston, I did not mean for you to cut your time short with your mother and sister. You shouldn’t be worried about me. You had dedicated your day to staying at the hospital.”

He nodded. “Like I said before, Taja, you’ve been there for me. There was no way in hell that I would sit here and not show up for you. Sometimes, you just need a friend, so here I am.”

I smirked. “So, you’re saying we’re friends? Last I checked, the Weston I know gives me hell at the office,” I teased.

He rubbed his hand down the back of his head. “I apologize for that. I’m in leadership. Shit, I handle the money. I can’t walk around like a simp ass person. If I do that, people will run all over me, and I can’t allow that shit.”

“I guess, but I would never do you or anybody like that,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

“It’s ’cause you’re different. Shit, I knew that since the day I laid eyes on you in the club.” He sipped from the wineglass.

I studied the side of Weston’s face, surprised by his confession. “Really?”

He nodded. “Real shit. You only confirmed it when we hung up out that night.”

I slapped his arm. “Let’s not even bring it up. We’ve all had a one-night stand before.”

He sipped more from his wine. “Nah, I ain’t even talking about that. Don’t get me wrong, it was top-tier. I’m talking about the conversation that night. Shit, you’re even making me stop by McDonald’s. You weren’t impressed with the money. You were impressed with me. It had been a while since I felt that someone saw me for me and not how heavy my pockets were.”

“Money doesn’t impress me. You can be rich one day and broke tomorrow. Money ain’t everything.”

“I know that now...” His voice was sad.

I moved closer to him and wrapped my arm around his. I laid my head on his shoulder.

“Your mom is going to be okay. I have faith that she will.”

He laid his head on mine. “And I have faith that you will be too.”

Weston placed a kiss on my forehead. “If I haven’t said thank you. Thank you, Taja.”

“You’re welcome, Wes.” I snuggled closer to him, closing my eyes to allow sleep to take over so I could forget about this day and start a new one.