Chapter 12
TWELVE
The waves crash against the rocks as we reach the main trail, and we both stop to look over the cliff, watching as the deep, dark blue of the ocean churns white as it surges upwards and sends mist and spray into the air. The tall, rocky cliffs are bathed in the glow of the morning sun as they stretch along the coastline, and I can’t help but take a deep breath in as I feel the warmth on my skin.
I glance at Arthur beside me, his unruly hair catching the wind as he stares out at the iceberg sitting serenely just off the shore. Without a word, and in one smooth motion, he slides his backpack off his shoulders and drops to one knee as he takes out his camera. I watch quietly as he attaches a lens, switches the camera on, and aims it towards the iceberg. As he gets lost in the beautiful scene before us, I get lost in my own as I continue to watch him.
The more time I spend with him, the deeper I’m falling into this… into him . And I haven’t been able to figure out why. Arthur barely gives me anything, like he’s always holding back and I’m only seeing the tip of the iceberg. But those small, rare moments when he lets his guard down just a little bit… they’re enough to make me want more, and to dive beneath the surface where I know there’s so much more to him. Every guy I’ve ever been with, whether I can call it a relationship or not, has felt shallow and empty, like there was nothing new to discover. But with Arthur… I crave that discovery. I want to uncover everything he hides away, and to know him in a way no one else does. And yet, I’m completely content to wait and let him reveal himself in his own time, when he’s ready. I still have no idea how he actually feels about me, but… I have a feeling there’s something here. And it’s enough to keep me hooked.
My thoughts are interrupted when Arthur lowers his camera and glances back at me.
I slap on a smile as I realize I’ve just been staring at him. “Get a good one?”
He nods, pushing to his feet and flicking through the photos on his camera screen. “A few,” he replies, stepping closer and angling the camera so I can see.
Holy shit.
“Damn…” I breathe out, stepping closer to take in the beautiful shot. He perfectly captured the entire essence of this place in one single frame… Power and serenity. The iceberg glows in the soft morning light, still and calm as it stands in stark contrast to the dark, restless waves that churn around it. The towering cliffs stretch along the shoreline, their jagged edges fading into the misty distance that creates a sense of longing. And above it all, the clouds hang like soft cotton, faintly glowing with the early morning sun, and casting a gentle warmth over the scene.
“You’re amazing,” I say quietly, my gaze shifting from the camera to Arthur.
His eyes flick up to meet mine for a fleeting moment before he quickly drops his gaze to his camera again. “Thank you,” he mumbles.
But I don’t look away. Because he really is amazing… and I don’t think he knows it.
As he shuts off the camera and tucks it back into his bag, I tear my attention away from him and take the opportunity to remove my jacket. It’s getting pretty warm now as the sun continues to move overhead, so I roll it up and shove it into my backpack.
When I glance up at Arthur, he’s also pulling off his hoodie.
Well, shit…
There’s definitely more under the surface.
This is the first time I’ve seen him without a hoodie on, and it’s not what I expected. I watch him pull the hoodie over his head, revealing a black t-shirt, strong arms, and a fit, lean body. I watch him as he stuffs his hoodie in his backpack and slings it over his shoulders, his muscles flexing with every move as they showcase the quiet strength inside him that matches the calm precision with which he navigates everything.
I guess all that hiking pays off.
He turns to face me, and I quickly lower my gaze to my own backpack as I zip it up.
“Ready?” he asks with an edge of uncertainty in his voice.
With a smile, I shrug my backpack on and nod. “Ready.”
As we set off along the rocky path following the edge of the cliff, the rhythmic crash of waves below fills the silence between us. And the same feeling I had when I last did this hike washes over me. I’m in awe at how vast and untameable it is out here. Everything just feels so big … almost overwhelming. And yet, there’s something so comforting about being a part of it, even though I’m so small in comparison.
The cliffs rise higher as we go, becoming steeper and more imposing, like they’re locked in a battle with the ocean that stretches endlessly beyond them. The pathway that follows the rugged coastline is an intricate pattern of interlocking rocks that create a challenging hike, and it makes me savour every step. Just a couple steps ahead of me, Arthur moves with ease, expertly navigating this rugged terrain like he’s done this a thousand times. I can’t help but smile at the sight of him, so at ease out here in the wild.
“So,” I say, breaking the peaceful quiet, “any specific birds you’re hoping to see today?”
Arthur turns his head, looking back at me with bright, excited eyes. “Yes.” He waits until I’m beside him. “I suspect we’ll see a Dark-eyed Junco. They’re common, so it’s not rare to see them, but they are one of my favourite birds because they have such incredible variation between populations. They all have the same basic features—white outer tail feathers that are especially visible when they take flight, darker upper parts that contrast with a lighter belly, and pale bills. But their appearance changes drastically depending on where you see them. If we see one it will be grey, white, and shades of tan, and juveniles are streaky.”
He looks at me with a big smile and my own spreads across my lips as I feel the joy radiating off him.
“But I’m really hoping to see a Belted Kingfisher,” Arthur continues. “They’re common along shorelines and they like to nest in banks. They’re one of the few species where the female is more brightly coloured than the male. Males have one blue band across a white breast, while females have a blue and a chestnut band.” He pauses for a moment and glances up at the sky over the cliffs. “We would hear it before we see it. They have a loud, rattling call and tend to patrol their territory in the open space above water, with long commutes. They nest in earthy banks and feed almost entirely on aquatic prey, diving to catch fish. So this is a good spot for them.” He nods as his eyes travel over the stretch of cliffs and banks ahead of us.
“I’ve never seen a Belted Kingfisher, so that would be awesome,” I say, glancing up to the sky as well. “Last time I was here I did see a Robin.” I shrug with a chuckle. “Not as unique.”
He looks at me and shakes his head. “They are very common. But what time of year were you here? They actually spend their whole winter in their breeding range. But they spend more time roosting in trees and less time out around, so you’re less likely to see them in winter. So, if you were here in winter, it could be kind of rare.” He shrugs with an adorable tilt of his head. “But not really.”
I chuckle. “Spring. So… not rare at all.”
He shakes his head seriously. “No.”
I can’t help but chuckle again and observe him for a moment, fascinated by his knowledge of birds. “How did you get into birdwatching?”
His eyes quickly flick to me, and I see a small shift in him as he seems to put his guard back up… but just a little bit. He hesitates for a moment, like he’s deciding how much to share with me.
“I don’t remember a time I wasn’t into it,” he says carefully. “I always liked birds. And I like…” he pauses, seeming to carefully choose his words, “information.”
I nod in understanding. “I get that,” I agree. “I tend to think of myself as a collector of information,” I say with a light laugh.
He quickly turns his head towards me, and I swear I see a sparkle in his eye. “Yeah…” he says slowly. His eyes then drop to my lips, and I try my hardest to ignore my heart slamming against my rib cage.
But he brings his attention back to the path before us, and I reluctantly do the same, so we can watch where we’re going.
“I…” Arthur continues quietly. “I find birds comforting. They stick to a routine. Every day, and every year. Everything about them is predictable and I know exactly what to expect with them. They just… make sense.” He pauses for a moment. “They’re one of the few things I look forward to seeing.”
I glance up at him, catching his eye before he quickly looks away, shifting his gaze out past the cliffs.
“And they’re one of the only things that really bothers me to dip out on,” he adds quietly.
“Dip out?” I ask with a tilt of my head.
He nods. “When you miss seeing a bird you were hoping to find.” His eyes flick back to mine. “Missing an opportunity.”
My heart sinks as I take in his words. From what I’ve gathered, based on our interactions so far, I think this world can feel overwhelming to him. He likes structure, routine, and predictability. That’s not something the man-made world is very good at. But birds and nature… he can connect with them. And I’m so happy he has that.
But before I can say anything, he turns to me with a curious expression. “Why did you become a vet?”
I open my mouth to give my usual answer, but stop. While it’s true that I became a vet because I love science and animals… there’s so much more to it.
Glancing back at the iceberg behind us, I take in a deep breath. Arthur just showed me some of that depth I’ve been looking for, and now I want to do the same.
“I love animals and science,” I begin, getting the obvious out of the way first. “But I’ve always been fascinated by wildlife.” My eyes sweep over the scenery before me as I pause for a moment, letting the wind blow through my hair and the sound of the waves wash over me. “And I’ve always wanted to be a part of it. Their strength, resiliency, ability to survive the unimaginable… it’s amazing what wildlife goes through every da y, and yet somehow maintains this peaceful way of being that is just so… perfect.”
Arthur walks quietly beside me, waiting patiently as I gather my thoughts.
“For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be wild too.” I chuckle lightly, shaking my head at how ridiculous that sounds. “To have the strength and courage to face anything and everything that comes my way, and to experience nature the way it’s meant to be experienced.” A sigh escapes me as I drop my eyes to the path before me. “And since I can’t do that… the best I can do is help them when they need it and at least be a small part in it all.”
I feel Arthur’s eyes on me, and when I lift mine to look at him, I can’t help but slow my steps. His gaze is soft and understanding, and locked on mine in a way I haven’t yet seen from him. He stops as well, and we stand in the middle of the path, facing each other.
“You’re more than a small part of it,” he says softly.
A smile tugs at my lips and I shrug one shoulder. “I guess I also don’t like missing an opportunity.”
His eyes brighten, and the corner of his lips tilt up in a small smile.
“Maybe I need to be more like you,” I say, tracing his lips with my eyes. “I think you belong to this world just as much as they do.”
Arthur lets out a small huff as his gaze drifts over my shoulder to the scenery. “I don’t do much,” he murmurs, shaking his head. “I just take photos, hike, and look for birds. I’m the furthest thing from wild.”
His green eyes shine bright in the sun, as his red hair twists in the wind like fiery strands in the light. And all I can do is shake my head as I watch him.
Out here, in nature, is where I see him most clearly. Where he’s completely in sync with the world around him in a way no one could ever understand. He views life through a lens that reveals what most of us miss, and through his photos, we get a glimpse into his beautiful world. And just like the wilderness we’re standing in right now, he has layers that are hidden and protected, revealed only to those who take the time to earn his trust. He moves through life quietly, navigating the chaos without ever conforming. He’s free in ways that most people can only dream of.
As his eyes meet mine once again, I smile.
“You’re more wild than you think.”