Chapter 30
THIRTY
“Ready, Firefox?”
I smile and nod as Trevor opens the bird’s cage inside the flight enclosure. It’s her first time flying, and I can’t even try to stop myself from bouncing on my toes as excitement and anticipation buzzes inside me. I feel like I might float up with her when she takes off.
Trevor calmly and smoothly reaches into the cage and carefully lifts the bird out. He’s so gentle, and there’s something really comforting in watching him handle her with such care. He places her on one of the perches we set up, and then he steps back and exits the flight cage, closing the door behind him.
My eyes stay glued to the bird as she just sits there, looking around like she’s taking everything in. My heart starts to race, as worry surges through me.
“Should she be flying already?” I ask as I watch her closely. “Are you sure she’s ready for this? What if she hurts herself, or doesn’t want to fly? What if she can’t fly? Then what? Will she need another surgery, or will you?—”
Trevor’s hand slides around my waist, pulling me gently into him to pause my racing thoughts. “She’ll fly,” he says softly. “Just give her some time.”
I nod, letting my gaze linger on him. His eyes are soft in the evening light, and their warm gold and reddish hues remind me of the fox I saw this morning. The way it looked into my eyes with understanding and a calming presence, just like he’s doing right now.
I lean in, closing the small distance between us until my lips find his. Our kiss is soft, and immediately fills me with the comfort I’ve been craving all day. His touch soothes the frayed edges of my nerves, and I let myself sink into him. After a hard day, I’m finally where I want to be.
But then I hear wings flapping. I whip my head around to see the bird mid-air, her wings spread as she soars across the cage and lands on another perch.
I gasp and point at her. “She did it!”
Trevor chuckles. “Like a champ.”
The bird chirps, pausing on the perch for just a moment before she lifts off again, flitting to a different branch.
Happiness bubbles up inside me, and it’s too big to contain. I bounce on my toes and flap my hands in front of me, letting the energy out in little bursts that feel too good to hold back. My body moves without thought as I jump and flap my hands, and all the feelings I’ve been holding in, and am feeling now, find their way out. Hope, worry, fear, excitement… it all comes out, leaving me feeling lighter than I have in a long time.
I turn to Trevor as I realize what I’m doing, but he’s just watching me with a soft, understanding smile. He’s not uncomfortable, and I know he’ll never ask me to stop.
So I don’t.
He wants me to be me… and never hide.
I smile back at him as the stress from earlier today fades away, slipping into the background as I focus on the joy of this moment. Just the bird, Trevor, and the good that’s here now.
The bird keeps flying between the perches as her little chirps fill the air. Every short flight, and every hop from one branch to the next, has my smile growing.
“Alright.” Trevor gives me a little squeeze. “That’s enough flying for today. She needs to slowly build up her strength.”
I nod and release a small sigh. While it’s disappointing this has to end so soon, I understand why. She needs to be strong enough to go back to the wild, and I really want that for her. Even though I’ll miss her when she leaves.
Trevor heads into the flight cage and gently scoops her back into her cage. As we walk back towards the house, Neville appears from around the side of the barn and waddles beside us up the steps and into the house.
“Want to watch a movie?” Trevor asks casually as he sets the bird’s cage back in its spot in the kitchen.
I watch him as my mind stumbles over the question. We’ve never watched a movie together, and I don’t watch movies during the week.
It’s Thursday…
“Ok…” I say slowly, shifting my weight on my feet.
Trevor studies me for a moment. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
I glance into the living room, where the TV hangs on the wall in front of the large couch. “In there?”
“Yeah,” he says, following my gaze.
I nod stiffly and shift my weight again. “Ok.”
But he just keeps his eyes on me and steps forward. “What’s on your mind?”
I pause, letting the question hang between us. I don’t even know what’s on my mind. I’ve done so many new things with him, so why does watching a movie on a Thursday seem to be bringing me so much discomfort?
But the more I think about it… I think I know.
Even though I’ve decided to just forget about Newfound Tours and move on, the stress of that phone call today is lingering.
“I don’t watch movies,” I admit slowly. “I do, but… not often. And never during the week. Only on Sunday evenings.” My hands fidget in front of me as I grab at my t-shirt, missing the comfort of a hoodie pocket. “It was a hard day, and I just…” I take a deep breath. “I do want to watch a movie.”
Trevor closes the distance between us, taking my hands in his and gently holding them between his palms, creating the pocket I need. “Want to talk about it?”
I shake my head as my chest tightens at the thought of revisiting that phone call. I told her no, I hung up… it’s done. I don’t want to think about it anymore. “It’s over now.”
“Ok.” He nods and lifts his hand to brush his fingers through my hair. “Sorry it was a hard day.”
My eyes close, and the anxiety slowly eases out of me with his touch. I take a deep breath in, blow it out, and open my eyes again to meet his gaze.
“Is there a movie about foxes?” I ask quietly.
Trevor’s eyebrows lift, and a smile plays on his lips. “I’m sure we can find one.”
I smile back, then he leans in to kiss me softly before leading me into the living room.
As we settle onto the couch, Neville comes running into the room and pounces on his ball.
“Oh, here we go,” Trevor laughs as he grabs the remote and turns on the TV.
Trevor starts flipping through apps to browse for movies, but my attention remains on Neville. He’s darting around, chasing his toys like it’s a mission, while glancing back at us every now and then, like he’s making sure we’re watching. I smile as one of his balls rolls over to me and he eyes it, waiting for me to send it back to him. I gently kick it back, and he lets out a playful squeal as he grabs it and rolls around on the floor.
Trevor chuckles and puts his arm around me, kissing the side of my head. I lean into him and shift my gaze to the TV as he scrolls through movie options. But as his fingers trace along my arm, my focus zeros in on the sensation. This light touch from anyone else would be uncomfortable, and make me feel agitated, like my personal space is being invaded in a way that’s almost impossible to tolerate. But with Trevor… I want him in my space.
My eyes drift down the length of his body, while I take in his muscular frame and feel his strength as he holds me against him. The familiar pull of connection, understanding, and desire stirs inside me, and I want to be even closer. I slide further into him under his arm, pressing into his side, and Trevor responds by pulling me in tighter. His grip on me is firm yet gentle, like he knows exactly what I need.
My hand moves almost on its own as it slides down to rest on his thigh. My pulse quickens as I feel the hard muscles under his jeans, and I slowly run my hand along the length of his thigh, taking in his solid, reassuring presence beneath my fingers.
Trevor pauses, and his gaze slides from the TV to me as his lips curl into a sly smile. “Hey, Firefox.”
I smile back, unable to resist the urge any longer as I close the small remaining space between us and kiss him.
The remote is forgotten as he sets it aside, and his full attention is now on me. His hand cradles the side of my face, and as my tongue slides against his, it feels like more than just a kiss. It’s like he’s pouring everything he feels for me into this moment, and I do the same right back to him. The quiet strength that is always present in him wraps around me like a protective shield, and I’m surprised by how good I feel with him right now after the day I’ve had.
My heart races, but not in an anxious way… it’s beating faster with every touch from him, making me feel alive . My only focus right now is on him. On the feeling of his body against mine, and the way his lips seem to tell me that everything is going to be alright. I kiss him back with the same intensity as my hand grips his thigh, and Trevor pulls me even closer, our kiss growing more urgent, like he can feel the need in me.
He gently pushes me onto my back and lays over me, and my breath catches as I feel his hard dick.
“You make me wild, Firefox,” he murmurs against my lips.
My hips instinctively move to roll against his and he groans, the vibration rolling through me like a wave of electricity, lighting up every inch of my body. My hands creep under his shirt and feel the firm muscles of his back as he grinds against me, and my own dick now strains against my jeans.
Trevor then sits back over my hips and removes his shirt in one swift motion. My gaze sweeps over him, and I don’t know if I’ll ever not be amazed by him. I let my fingers trail over his defined pecs and abs, until he gently takes my hand and pulls me up to sit with him.
A smile spreads over his lips as he runs his hand down my body to take hold of the hem of my t-shirt. He pauses and meets my eyes for a moment as his sparkle, then he lifts my shirt up over my head and tosses it on the floor with his.
“Fucking gorgeous,” he murmurs as he brings his lips to mine again and takes me in a deep kiss.
Hands roam as our kiss deepens, and his eventually drop to my waistband.
But suddenly a thought crosses my mind, and I quickly pull back. “Oh my god.”
Trevor’s eyes widen and he pauses. “What?”
“We never…” I shake my head as worry rises and tightens my chest. “Aren’t we supposed to take tests?”
“Tests?” Trevor’s brow furrows. Then his features soften as realization seems to dawn on him. “Oh… tests…”
“We need to take them, right? We’re supposed to be safe.” I shake my hands in front of me and look around the room, unsure what to do right now. “Even though we’re not… We don’t…” I let out a frustrated sigh as my thoughts all compete against each other to get out. “But we should anyway, right? Do we? What do we?—”
Trevor takes my hand in his, pulling my thoughts back to him.
“You’re right. We should be safe.” He smiles, and my gaze drops to his lips as his calm, deliberate words bring me some comfort. “I haven’t been with anyone since I was last tested, and everything came back clear. And you…” he trails off.
“Have never been with anyone…” I finish.
He nods. “So, we’re good.”
I take a deep breath and nod as well, lifting my eyes to meet his again. “Ok.”
His eyes flick between mine, and his lips turn into a lopsided smile. “Now, lie down and let me suck you.”
A thrill shoots through me, but I don’t move. And I shake my head.
“No?” he asks, his smile falling.
“No,” I say simply. Then I place my hand on his chest and push him backwards. “You lie down.”
He huffs out a breath as his smile returns, and he falls back so he’s lying on the couch. “Just full of surprises.”
I smirk up at him as I reach for the waistband of his pants, the thrill in me only growing as I pull them down and free his hard cock. As I wrap my hand around him, he lets out a low groan and tips his head back.
“Fuck, yeah…” he breathes out.
His sounds urge me on as I stroke him, and I watch his chest rise and fall. The fact that I am doing this to him has an overwhelming need building inside me to make him feel even more pleasure. He’s always taking care of me, and now I need to take care of him.
I lower my head until my lips wrap around the head of his cock, tasting his precum on my tongue.
“God, that feels so good,” Trevor pants as his hand lands on my shoulder.
Heat rushes through me at his words, and immediately, I’m taking him further into my mouth. I don’t know what it is, but when he talks to me like this… it makes me wild.
I move my hand in time with my mouth on him, and his hand slips into my hair. As I glance up at him, I almost freeze. His eyes are closed as he tilts his head back, and his other hand is on his chest, with his thumb rubbing his nipple.
Oh my god…
He opens his eyes to look down at me, and a small smirk forms on his lips. He gently takes my hand from his cock, and places it over his chest where his was. And it feels like something completely takes over me in this moment. I suck him harder and my thumb moves, just like his was, rubbing over his nipple.
A feral groan escapes him as he tenses, and I do it again, and again, and again.
“Fuck, Firefox… oh my god… yeah, you’re so good…” he moans.
My own dick twitches and I adjust my hips as I continue to work him.
But he suddenly reaches down to grab my hand and gently push on my shoulder.
“I don’t want to come yet,” he says breathlessly, with glassy eyes and flushed cheeks.
“Why?” I ask, looking down at his cock then back up to him. “Did I do it wrong?”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “Fuck no. You did it all just right.” He sits up, and pulls me into a kiss, sweeping his tongue into my mouth with something like the desperation I’m feeling. “But I want to come with you.”
Before I can even process what he’s saying, he has me lying on my back as he pulls my pants down. I don’t even realize that I’m pushing them down as well, as that desperation takes hold of me.
He groans around my dick as he immediately takes me into his mouth, nudging my legs apart so he can settle between them. The wet warmth of his mouth is almost overwhelming at first, as my body tenses and my dick twitches. But as he moves his tongue under my tip, I relax into the feeling and let the pleasure take over. I keep my eyes on him as his lips wrap around me, and slides down my length… all the way to my balls.
A deep moan leaves me at both the sight and feeling, and his eyes sparkle as he slides up and down again, at just the right speed. Like he once again seems to be able to read my mind, and give me exactly what I need.
Each stroke of his tongue has me feeling more and more sensitive, and I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to last. And when he looks me in the eyes and gently cups and tugs my balls with his hand… I know I’m not going to last.
I moan again as the pressure inside me becomes overbearing, begging to be released. Trevor moans as well, not taking his mouth off me as he shifts his weight to reach down and take his cock in his other hand.
Holy shit.
He jerks himself as he continues to suck me, and my body goes rigid as an intense pleasure quickly rushes to the surface.
“I’m coming,” I pant, and Trevor quickly pops off my cock and moves up my body to straddle my hips.
He grabs my hand and places it on his cock as he takes mine and strokes me with the same need I’m feeling. I do the same to him, and before I know it, we’re both groaning as our cum spills over my stomach, and I’m filled with warmth and tingles as the wave of pleasure crashes over me.
Trevor presses his forehead to mine as he leans over me and we both catch our breath. But it doesn’t take long for my gaze to shift down to the mess all over me.
I stare at it, unsure what to do. If I get up, it will go everywhere. The only thing here to clean it up is our clothes… does he do laundry on Thursdays? What if he doesn’t?
“One second.” He kisses my forehead and hops up, disappearing into the kitchen before he quickly returns with a box of tissues.
Relief flows through me as he wipes it up, tosses the tissues, and settles onto the couch beside me. He pulls a soft blanket over us and tugs me into him so my head rests on his chest. I close my eyes, listening to the steady beat of his heart, which is still thumping, just like mine.
In the quiet of the room, I hear Neville playing, his little paws tapping and toys squeaking like he's completely unaware of what we’ve just done. But I don’t open my eyes, and instead I wrap an arm around Trevor to hold him tightly.
“I’m going camping this weekend,” I murmur.
“Oh?” Trevor’s fingers slide through my hair in that soothing way he always does.
I nod against him. “A Steller’s Sea-Eagle was spotted in Trinity Bay, so I’m going to camp in Trinity to see it.” The excitement bubbles inside me, growing by the second at the thought of seeing such an incredibly rare bird. It’s been on my must-see list for as long as I can remember, and I’ve been waiting for it to be spotted again in Newfoundland. And someone did this week. So I need to go.
Trevor’s fingers pause in my hair. “Really? Wow… The last one spotted in Newfoundland was three years ago.”
I sit up suddenly, turning to look at him. “I know! And it’s here !”
His eyes light up with a wide smile, and I can’t help but just smile back at him. There’s something in the way he looks at me… like he’s genuinely happy just because I am.
“Will you come with me?” The question comes out before I can even think about what I’m asking. There’s a heaviness to those words, and a deep sense of vulnerability. Birdwatching, especially with rare birds, has always been my escape, and how I felt joy in a world that seemed determined to strip me of my feelings of safety. But Trevor makes me feel safe, and brings me joy, in a way nothing else ever has. And I want to share this with him. I want him there. I want him to see what I see, and experience this with me.
His smile softens, and he brushes a strand of hair back from my face. “When are you leaving?”
“Saturday morning.” Hope rises, and anticipation swells in my chest as I wait for his answer.
He pulls me closer, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “Yes. Absolutely.”
I smile against his lips, kissing him back as my heart flutters. But when he gently pulls away, there’s something different in his eyes.
“Mike and his fiancée are having a barbeque tomorrow night,” he says, his voice gentle and careful, like he’s testing the waters. “For the groomsmen and bridesmaids, before the wedding next weekend.”
The excitement in me dims slightly, and I nod slowly. I still haven’t given him an answer about going to the wedding…
“It’s just a small thing,” he adds softly. “I was trying to figure out how to ask you if you wanted to come…”
Anxiety and guilt flare inside me, then coils tight in my stomach. “You need an answer about the wedding…” I say quietly.
Trevor shakes his head. “It’s ok.” Then he chuckles lightly. “You’ve met Mike. This isn’t a super formal wedding, so no rush to confirm.” He pauses for a moment. “But… if you want to come to the barbeque tomorrow, you can treat it like a test run to see how it feels? There’s no pressure.” He runs his hand down my arm, giving me a tight squeeze that sends a small rush of relief through me. “Mike and Andrea already got some extra veggie options in case you’re in.”
I pull my bottom lip between my teeth as I consider this. When we went hiking with his friends, I actually felt… understood, and accepted. They didn’t push me or make me feel like I didn’t belong. They didn’t judge me, ignore me, or get mad at me for slowing them down. They let me take photos, asked me about different birds we saw, and told me they wanted to see me again.
Neville jumps onto the couch with a trill, interrupting my thoughts as he waddles over the blanket and onto my lap. I run my hand over his fur, feeling his soft purrs vibrating through him.
Then I look up into Trevor’s eyes and nod. He keeps me safe, and I know his friends will too.
He smiles and leans in to kiss me. “My wild Firefox.”
I chuckle against his lips, and he pulls me back into his arms, guiding me to settle into the couch with him. Neville remains on my lap as Trevor clicks on a movie, and I smile. He chose the perfect one, about a World War II soldier who finds an injured fox cub and takes it along on his journey.
Just like Trevor found me.
But now, with him watching over me, and guiding me through this tough world… I feel like I can do anything.