MADDOX
WHEN I’D GOTTEN back to the locker room after my mega-level meltdown and changed back into my street clothes, I’d checked my phone to find out that everyone had come to watch my meet. Even my fucking parents.
I wanted to be mad, upset, something, but I couldn’t. It was the most embarrassing, insane thing I’d ever done, but I was glad.
Even though I’d changed and exited the building in what had to be record time, my parents were already in the parking lot waiting for me.
They’d been understandably horrified and confused by my actions at first, and I was kind of fucking petrified at what my dad’s reaction watching me quit the team in front of his actual fucking eyes would be, but after explaining the situation with the guys on the team treating me like shit, and what Coach Larson had done to me, they were both completely on my side.
“Oh, honey,” my mom cooed sympathetically at me, hugging me against her chest. “Why didn’t you say anything about what was going on?”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I didn’t want to cause issues or anything. At first I just tried to ignore it, but… Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’m done with the team and it’s fine. I wasn’t enjoying myself, anyway.”
“You’re not changing your major, are you, Champ?” My dad asked.
“What, like to musical theater or interior design?” I asked sarcastically, and he shook his head, giving me a wry look.
“Maddox, I already knew about you and Ren.”
“You did?” My mom and I said the words at the same time, but hers were way more shocked.
“The thing at the park… I could try to pretend I didn’t understand what I saw, but… After you left when I went up to make sure you didn’t leave a mess, I found your condom in the trash. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together.”
“… Oh.” Okay, now I wanted to die. But my dad had always been really straightforward about sex and basically everything else, so he didn’t look particularly traumatized or anything. “Sorry about that.”
“I was surprised, but I was fine with it,” he said.
“Manfred! You knew about this and didn’t tell me!?” My mom’s tone was accusatory and not too thrilled about that one.
“Kate,” he addressed her with a weary tone. They were getting along way better recently but I couldn’t expect miracles. “The situation wasn’t exactly familiar territory for me. I Googled what to do, and it said I should wait for him to come out on his own.”
“Google,” she scoffed.
“Can you please not fight about this?” I asked. “I’m bi, whatever. We don’t need to talk about it.”
My mom’s sigh indicated she didn’t agree with my assertion that we didn’t need to talk about it. “Well, I’m glad you’re being safe, at least.”
“Mom. Please,” I groaned, grimacing. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to correct her. They didn’t need to know all my business like that I’d been a virgin before him and he’d only been with one person before me and we’d mutually decided we didn’t necessarily need protection if we didn’t want it. “Anyway, no. I’m not changing my major. I’m still getting my degree in sports medicine.”
“Okay. Just making sure,” he said, sounding relieved.
“Just making sure I’m not a complete embarrassment, you mean.”
He sighed, laying a hand on my shoulder. “That’s not how I meant it at all. I don’t blame you for quitting a team like this, and it’s okay that you don’t want to join anything else. I just didn’t know how drastic of a change I should expect.”
“That coach needs to be reported,” my mom added angrily. “I’ve got half a mind to stay overnight and march right up to your dean tomorrow morning and give her a piece of my mind.”
“Mom, it’s fine. I’ll take care of it. I’m not a little kid anymore, remember?”
“Okay, honey. But you need to tell me exactly what she says when you talk to her.”
“Fine.”
When my dad noticed Ren hanging around the front of the building, watching us, he waved him over. It was awkward, just because I’d never really stood around talking to my parents with someone next to me that they knew for a fact I’d had sex with. But I would have to get used to that.
When my mom asked Ren what degree he was going for, and he explained about the software engineering thing, my dad seemed a little more appreciative of that fact than the first time he’d heard it. At least I wasn’t dating some philosophy or art major.
My parents offered to take us out to dinner so they could get to know Ren a little more, which we accepted.
“We need to go tell our friends we don’t need rides home,” I explained, and they told us they’d wait for us over by their cars, pointing them out across the lot.
Ren sent a text to Aspen as we made our way over to where he’d parked, alongside Cyprian’s Jeep, letting him know we were coming over to talk. Aspen texted back and said they’d head over, since they were all still inside the building.
“So, um… Hi,” Ren said, reminding me that we hadn’t gotten the chance to talk or be alone for even a second since everything had happened.
“Hi,” I said. “Sorry about… Freaking out and having another meltdown. Are you pissed at me?” I asked. I would have probably died of sheer embarrassment if I’d been in his shoes and the person I was having sex with announced it to a room of strangers.
He shook his head, looking surprised by my question. “No way, Maddy. I know what kind of pressure you were under and how awful it was for you.”
“Yeah, but still…” I trailed off, but the sympathy and complete lack of judgment in his eyes was definitely taking the sting out of the whole thing.
“It’s okay,” he insisted. “But, um… I do have one question.”
“Yeah?” I asked, leaning my hip against the door of Aspen’s car. Ren mirrored my pose, looking straight into my eyes. His gaze was so dark and intense, it sent a shiver up my spine.
“You kind of screamed to everyone about having a boyfriend, so… I guess I can pretty much assume that we’re official, right?”
“Yeah, you could assume that,” I said. “As long as that’s what you want,” I added, suddenly realizing I hadn’t exactly asked if that part was okay.
“Yes,” he answered, quickly and firmly. “Yeah, absolutely. That’s what I want.”
“Okay. Cool.”
“Cool,” he repeated. We both stared at each other for a few seconds after that, trying not to laugh, but it didn’t work.
“So since we’re official, and you outed yourself and everything, does that mean we can do PDA and stuff?”
“Um, yeah,” I responded with a duh kind of tone in my voice. “How else am I supposed to make sure no one else flirts with you?”
He smiled, closing the distance between us to press his forehead to mine and hook his fingers into the belt loops of my jeans. “I’m pretty sure that’s not the more realistic scenario we’d be facing in a public setting.”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but I’ve been told I give more of a fuck off and die vibe than the kind of vibe that invites people to talk to me, so you might be surprised.”
“Um, yeah, I might have noticed that a little,” he admitted. His grin was so cute. I’d gone about it in probably the worst way possible in the world, but I knew I definitely couldn’t have any regrets about the whole publicly coming out thing. “But I don’t mind it.”
“You are definitely the main person who I don’t want to fuck off and die,” I said.
“Wow,” he replied, eyes wide. “I know I said I want PDA and stuff, but you don’t have to get that mushy and lovey-dovey, Maddy.”
Snorting, I tried to summon a frown in response to his sarcasm, but failed miserably. “Dweeb.”
“Your dweeb,” he reminded me.
Slipping my hands up over his shoulders to hook behind his neck, I pulled him the rest of the way against me, purring against his mouth as he kissed me. The bright lights of the parking lot and the sound of traffic passing by on the nearby road faded out as my lips parted to let his tongue in so he could melt my brain functions. He was really, really good at kissing, which reminded me that he was also really, really good at fucking. Which is probably what I’d be thinking about the whole evening while we were sitting at some booth at Olive Garden or wherever my parents would drag us to so they could grill us about our relationship.
“Not bad for a first official boyfriend kiss,” I commented, when we broke apart to breathe.
“Yeah, it was pretty good,” he agreed, injecting a comical amount of sarcasm into his voice. “But we could probably do better on the second one.”
“Hmm.” I pretended to think about his offer, before curling my fingers into his shirt collar and pulling him back into me.
“Oh my god, Ren, put that thing away. There could be children walking by,” Arie remarked, pointing inconspicuously at Ren’s crotch as he walked up to us, Che and Aspen on either side of him. Grimacing, Ren turned away from us to adjust himself. “Someone’s been genetically blessed.”
“Watch it, Twinkie,” I warned him lightly. “Nobody gets to ogle my boyfriend’s giant dick but me.”
“Hey, not all of us want to be impaled like we’re a Mortal Kombat character,” he retorted, raising his palms up, but he was grinning. Che just shook his head, looking slightly exasperated by Arie’s antics. But I was sure he probably found them endearing. Somehow.
“I see we’re throwing around the B word pretty casually now,” Aspen commented. “That’s pretty nice to hear.”
“Thanks,” I said, leaning into Ren’s side when he returned from trying to wrangle his dick into a not so obvious position.
“Where’s Cyprian and Caelyx?” Ren asked.
“They’re right behind us,” Aspen said. “They had to pee and there was a little bit of a line.”
“So how does it feel having the best coming out story out of all of us?” Arie asked.
“The best?” I repeated, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” he confirmed, sounding enthusiastic. “You were totally cool. You were like, I have a boyfriend and I suck dick and always swallow or, you know, whatever you said.”
Rolling my eyes to the sky when Ren snorted, covering his face with his palms, I shook my head. “Actually, can we never bring this up again? Like, ever?”
“Were your parents upset?” Che asked softly, his dark, round eyes sparkling with genuine concern. I was pretty sure the guy was incapable of saying or doing anything that wasn’t diabetes levels of sweet and innocent. Then again, Arie was kind of a horndog so I had to imagine there had to be some pretty not-so-innocent stuff going on behind closed doors.
“Nah, they were cool about it,” I answered. “Actually, we’re going to dinner with them. We just wanted to say bye before we head out.”
Unfortunately, when I heard footsteps approaching from behind and turned, expecting to see Cyprian and Caelyx, I was greeted by the unwelcome sight of O’Conner and Garrison striding up to us.
“You made our team look retarded,” O’Conner griped at me. “No one’s going to want to scout any of us now.”
“Oh, I did that all on my own, huh?” I asked flatly. “You should be thanking me. Now that I’m off the team, I won’t be making the rest of you look bad by having the best times when I don’t even give a shit about swimming.”
“You think you’re better than me, you little cocksucker?” O’Conner asked, puffing up and moving toward me. Garrison slapped a hand on his chest, nudging him back.
“Calm down,” he ordered, before turning to face me. “You could have come to me if you had that much of a problem. You made the team look really fucking bad.”
“You did that on your own,” I argued. “You act like some big shot leader, but then you let your dumbass friends talk to people like that ,” I said, gesturing toward O’Conner. “You seriously think I’m the only guy in the world who doesn’t want to be called a fag?”
“Hey, I didn’t say that,” Garrison protested. It reminded me of how at the beginning of the year, I’d listen to them talk shit about Arie in the locker room and call him all kinds of terrible names. I never said anything because I didn’t want to get involved and it wasn’t my problem. That was probably how he felt, too. Not that it made it right or anything.
“But you didn’t have a problem with it either,” I said. “That’s not how a leader acts. And Coach Larson is a piece of shit, whether you want to admit it or not.”
I saw the truth of my words flicker in his eyes, for just a second, and knew that he knew I was right. It didn’t really matter to me. I didn’t want anything to do with any of them, regardless.
“You’re just mad he didn’t coddle you like the triggered little snowflake you are,” O’Conner spoke up. “What you really need is your ass beat.”
“You want me to kick the shit out of you?” I asked incredulously, squaring up when he raised his fists toward me.
“Hey, guys?” Cyprian’s deep voice rang out from a few steps away as he hurried up, Caelyx right behind him. “Everything good?” He asked, glancing between the two of us.
O’Conner might have been a homophobic moron, but he wasn’t stupid enough to keep talking shit with Cyprian here. The dude was absolutely ripped, and huge, even compared to us.
“Everything’s fine,” I said, keeping my eyes locked straight on O’Conner’s.
“Whatever,” he spat at me. “We’re out of here.”
He shoulder checked me as he walked past, which I should have been expecting. I’d done it enough times to him, after all. But I didn’t expect it and wasn’t prepared, so I stumbled back into Aspen, knocking him against his car. It wasn’t very hard and it probably wouldn’t even leave a bruise. But when he made impact with the door, he hissed out a shit and rubbed his arm.
And then Caelyx went fucking nuts for some reason and lunged forward, slugging O’Conner in the mouth. And then Cyprian and I and Garrison all had to jump in the middle of it to keep them apart. Because as much as I appreciated the gesture, Caelyx was no athlete. O’Conner would have absolutely flattened his ass, without question. And I didn’t really want to see that happen, as annoying as he was sometimes.
“Fucking freaks!” O’Conner spit the word out at us, along with a good bit of blood. It shined red on the asphalt between us in the bright streetlights.
“Enough!” Garrison snapped, shoving him back another full step. “You said what you had to say. We’re done with all this.”
I had more I wanted to say, but I knew it would only reignite the fight and that wouldn’t be fair to anyone. It was over, and I wanted to move on, so I just watched them walk away, back into the building.
“Are you okay, Aspen?” Che asked. He’d skittered over to Aspen’s side during the almost-fight.
“I’m fine,” Aspen answered, his brow furrowed and his mouth twisted into a mild scowl. “It was nothing. I barely bumped it.”
I had a feeling he probably didn’t like having another guy leap to his defense like that. Which was fair. I had no fucking clue what Caelyx was even thinking with that dumbass caveman stunt.
“That could have been really bad, you know,” Cyprian said, echoing my thoughts.
“I don’t know, I was kind of hoping for another dramatic moment to write about in my diary tonight,” Arie sighed.
“Well, if no one else is potentially getting beat up and no one needs to go to the hospital, I don’t really want to keep Maddy’s parents waiting anymore,” Ren piped up.
“Aw, you’re trying to be a good son-in-law already, huh,” I pointed out, my heart nearly jumping out of my chest at the ridiculously adorable, pleased look he gave me.
“Of course. I want your parents to like me.”
“I think my dad might already like you.”
I wasn’t going to tell him the part about us leaving a condom in the bedroom trash. I’d spare him the agony of that knowledge. Because that’s what a good boyfriend would do.
Our friends waved us off as we made our way over to my parents’ car. As we walked, he laced his fingers together with mine.
“So where do you think your mom and dad are going to take us?” He wondered, and I chuckled lightly.
“Probably not somewhere with sushi pizza or barbecue mac and cheese,” I answered. He liked eating the most bizarre shit. I’d actually watched him dip chicken nuggets in a chocolate milkshake when we’d gotten fast food one time. “Their culinary preferences are not as weird as yours.”
He laughed a little, squeezing my fingers. “You know, I used to hate being called weird. Even though I knew it was true, I still didn’t like it.”
“And now?”
“I don’t mind it anymore,” he said. “I mean, I don’t mind it coming from you.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I know you like it.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I definitely like it.”
“I feel kind of lame saying this, but I just didn’t really know how cool it would feel to have someone really like me.”
“I didn’t know how cool it would feel to actually really like someone,” I responded, which made him laugh really hard for some reason.
“I think we’re perfect for each other.”
“Seems like we might be,” I agreed. And I was pretty sure it was true. I’d never wanted to be around anyone as much as Ren, and that feeling had not come anywhere close to fading away.
He was funny, sweet, and took care of me in all the ways I’d never even realized I needed to be cared for. I’d only lived on the planet for 19 years, but I was pretty certain Ren Suzuki was completely one of a kind. And there was no way in hell I was letting anyone else have him.