9. Alba
NINE
ALBA
My day had started off on a bad foot. I’d finally got the dryer in the basement working and had done another load of laundry, only to discover that the beautiful silk turtleneck I’d worn to meet with Deena was now the size of a doll’s.
I won’t lie; I cried when I pulled it out of the dryer.
I cried real tears, because the top had been one of my favorites and now it was ruined—and also because I felt stupid and useless and foolish.
Bested by a load of laundry— again . How useless could one woman be?
There was no way I could afford to replace it, which made me sob harder, but then I had to wash my face and get ready for work.
When Elena had asked me why I looked so sad, I told her about the top, and she looked at me like I was the stupidest person in the universe.
She asked if it was dry clean only, and then I had to admit that I’d never understood what people meant when they talked about dry cleaning, and then she’d given me that look that I’d become accustomed to—the one that showed me just how little everyone really thought of me.
Coming from Elena, who was the very definition of competence, it hurt.
But how was I supposed to know laundry had so many freaking rules ?
Every time I learned a new one, I messed something else up.
My entire life, I’d put clothes in a hamper and they’d magically appeared in my closet the next day, clean and pressed.
I hadn’t known to separate colors, to dry things flat, to freaking dry clean.
What did that even mean? I still didn’t know!
I’d been so sheltered and so naive, and now I could barely function in the real world.
Then at the restaurant, we’d been slammed from the moment the doors opened, and the kitchen had run behind.
Customers were irate, and I’d gotten the brunt of their anger.
I’d clung to my cheery, dumbed-down waitress persona with the force of my will, but when the fifth person complained that their food had taken too long and that I must be the worst server they’d ever had, I nearly lost it.
Was it worth going back to my family on my knees? Was it worth the groveling I’d have to do for the rest of my life if I did?
No.
I wouldn’t be sold off to some other man in a pseudo-business deal. I wouldn’t let my family push me into a marriage because that’s what worked for them. I wouldn’t get on my knees and beg for their protection after what they’d said and done to me.
Now that I’d spent some time away from that world, it was too easy to see how vapid and soulless it really was.
What if I met another James and fell in love, only to discover that he was after my family’s money again?
What if I didn’t meet another James, and I lived my life in a gilded cage, feeling nothing but bitterness?
It wasn’t worth the risk. At least here, sweating through my uniform and praying for the end of my shift, I had integrity. For once, I was proud of the person I was becoming.
Now it was just after noon, and things weren’t looking like they’d slow down anytime soon—but an old lady had given me a sympathetic smile and a fifty percent tip, and that had given me the energy to keep going a little bit longer.
I was aching and stressed and I’d just realized that I forgot to put deodorant on that morning—and then I saw him. At first, all I saw was a vision in a perfectly tailored suit. Silhouetted by the light behind him, he was broad-shouldered, sharp-jawed, all male confidence with a cocky smirk.
Then the smirk registered, and I stumbled.
Vaughn spread his arms when he saw me. “Better?”
“Um,” I said, catching myself against the hostess’s stand. “Yes.”
He twirled for me, slowly, so I could see every perfect seam on his suit and admire the sharp-as-a-blade line of his haircut against his neck. He looked amazing . He looked like he had money and time and could get anything he wanted with a snap of his fingers.
My heart thumped as he spun back around to grin at me, blue eyes twinkling in the warm light of the dining room.
I gripped the hostess’s stand a bit harder to keep my balance.
He smoothed the lapels of his jacket, and my gaze snagged on his hands.
They were big, with prominent knuckles and long fingers, tendons and veins pushing against his skin as he adjusted the quality fabric of his suit.
Small scars crisscrossed his fingers, his palms like he’d spent years working with his hands and had the wounds to show for it.
A man’s hands. The kind I’d love to see gripping my thighs, spreading them open. I blinked away the image and focused on the man before me.
Vaughn was gorgeous.
I’d known he was an attractive man, obviously.
From the moment I’d seen him the first time, I could tell he was handsome.
But dressed like he was, there was no denying it.
He was otherworldly. He could walk into any room and turn heads.
He would have women and men staring, and if he played his cards right, he could get them to do anything for him.
Finding an investor would be a breeze if he acted like he belonged in the clothes he now wore.
“It’s wool,” he said, extending his sleeve toward me.
I let out a laugh that sounded a little high-pitched.
“I can see that,” I replied, and reached over to feel the fine fabric between my fingers.
The lining was silk, and it teased my fingertips.
The wool was buttery-soft, its weave perfectly uniform.
The shoulders sat at just the right position on his frame, and the jacket showed off his trim waist.
Suddenly my throat was tight. Vaughn stood in front of me, broad and handsome and smiling, and I felt very small. The weight of his gaze made me want to crumple.
I wasn’t the kind of woman who stood beside a man like that.
Not anymore. Maybe in my previous life, I could’ve wrapped a hand around his elbow and entered the rooms he was sure to be invited into.
The galas and charity balls, the boardrooms and private dining affairs.
The private jets and secluded beachfront properties.
Now I belonged nowhere near any of those places. I belonged right here, sweating through my work uniform, wondering if it was worth selling my soul to get a bit of comfort back.
“Did you come here to show off?” I asked, recovering myself and taking a small step back.
He looked almost sheepish when he pulled a tie out of his jacket pocket. “Actually…”
I crossed my arms and popped a brow.
He flashed that grin at me again. The wicked, teasing one. His beard had been shaped to emphasize the strength of his jaw, and somehow it made his eyes seem more piercing. My knees wobbled a little. “You said my tie-tying skills weren’t up to scratch, so I was hoping you could help me out.”
“You came to my workplace in the middle of my shift so I could tie your tie?”
He shrugged, unfurling the tie and letting it dangle between us. An invitation. A trap.
The smart thing to do was to stay away from him.
He was a reminder of everything I hated—the luxurious, expensive world that had thrown me out.
But I’d discovered, over these past fourteen months, that I wasn’t exactly as smart as I’d once thought.
All it took was one handsome man’s attention to lure me back in.
I took the tie between my fingers and was unsurprised to find it was made from the softest silk. Squinting up at him, I felt the need to put up walls between us. “You realize we aren’t friends, right?”
He shrugged, nonplussed. “You’re the only person who had the balls to tell me why I wasn’t getting any joy with investors.”
I tilted my head to concede the point, then gestured for him to approach.
My fingers shook slightly as I fastened the last button on his shirt—a beautiful, thick shirt with a button that slid through its hole with ease—and tried to ignore the thumping of my heart.
I could feel the warmth of him this close, and the press of his gaze above me was a physical weight.
My knuckles brushed against his freshly shorn stubble, the rasp sending little bolts of sensation through my fingers.
He smelled divine. The scent twigged in my memory, but I couldn’t place it.
His cologne was rich and woodsy, utterly male.
I inhaled, and immediately felt weak in the knees.
It was the first time I’d been this close to a man since James.
The sounds of people eating and talking and laughing faded to nothing in the crowded dining room behind me.
All I could hear was the rushing of the blood in my ears.
He was tall and broad and male. He was beautiful—and he was staring at me.
It wasn’t the first time an attractive man had looked at me, but it was the first time since my ousting from society.
Sure, patrons at the restaurant sometimes harassed me, but that was a power play more than anything.
No one had looked at me and seen me the way it felt like Vaughn was seeing me now.
Like I was worth something. Like he wanted to know more.
I wrapped the tie around his neck and focused on the movement of my fingers against the silk fabric, going for a full Windsor knot.
My mother had taught me how to tie a tie.
She used to do it for my father before one of their many social events.
It felt strange to be doing this for a man. It was intimate—and it wasn’t.
This wasn’t my husband, standing before me while we got ready to go to some ball or another.
It wasn’t a man who would bend down and press a soft kiss on my lips once I was done, his eyes promising more later.
This was a man I’d verbally sparred with a handful of times at work.
He enjoyed having a consistent routine, eating chicken, and annoying me.
It wasn’t some grand romance for the ages.
Soon, when he fully embodied his new look, he’d realize he could have whatever he wanted. He’d buy a dozen more suits and he’d find someone else to tie his ties.
And I’d be here, serving him chicken for lunch.
Unless I crawled on my hands and knees back into the family fold.
Vaughn watched me, and when I tightened the knot and smoothed his tie, he adjusted his cuffs and spread his palms again. “How do I look?”
He looked incredible. Unbearably handsome. Devastating.
I squinted. “It’s better,” I admitted. “The hair is nice.”
The grin he flashed me made my stomach clench. “Wish me luck.”
“You don’t need luck,” I told him, and couldn’t resist the urge to lean over and pluck a piece of lint off his shoulder. Vaughn stood very still as I brushed it off and straightened his lapel. I looked up at him and stepped back. “All you need is to act like you belong.”
“That’s it, huh.”
I shrugged, smiling sadly. “You look the part now. Assuming your company is worth investing in, then all you have to do is act like that investment is coming, one way or another. Someone will bite.”
“Would you?” His lips curled, eyes flashing with dark amusement.
My heart rattled, heat rushing up my neck and over my cheeks. “Only if you were very, very lucky,” I shot back before I could stop myself.
His smile widened, and then he winked and gave me a little two-fingered salute before turning for the door.
When I faced the dining room again, Elena was frowning at me from the kitchen door. I lifted a hand to wave at her, then scurried to my tables to check on the patrons. My steps were unsteady, and my heart still thumped.
I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what it meant, that he’d come here. That he’d taken my advice. That he’d wanted me to tie his tie and see him looking like that.
I didn’t know what to think about the fact that I’d liked it. A lot.
All I knew was that it was bad. It made me look up from the drudgery of my life and think about maybe, someday, somehow…wanting more. It made me remember what it felt like to be wanted.
I’d been tossed aside like garbage. Shunned.
Treated like I was worthless. I’d been in a daze my entire life, conditioned to think I was chattel that could be married off to the most suitable man.
Then it fell apart, and I realized how alone and vulnerable I really was.
The past fourteen months had been cold, hard, and hungry.
Vaughn made me feel warm and buzzing and pathetic because I wanted this all the time. I wanted him to look at me and smile at me and touch me and kiss me and fuck me until I felt alive again.
I felt raw and exposed for wanting those things.
I could never, ever let him know.