Chapter 9 #2
“What the hell are you doing?” Alex asks, his eyes wide in confusion as he takes me in, getting settled behind Asher.
“Hey, Mr Bennett,” Asher says in a tone that is not at all friendly.
“Asher? I thought you were in prison.” Alexander frowns, and Asher revs his bike.
“Obviously, I’m not.”
Alexander shakes his head, his eyes darting from Asher to me. “Get off the bike, Lily. Don’t be so stupid. We have unfinished business.”
“Actually, our business was finished a long time ago. Fuck off, Alex.”
Shit… I really just said that.
Yes, I’m acting all kinds of immature right now. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s because I’m plain fed up. Or maybe it’s because I feel like I’m finally waking up from a dream where I let people walk all over me, and I don’t want to be that person anymore.
Well, really, I just let Alexander and his uptight family walk all over me, but those days are over now. I don’t have to answer to them.
Or maybe the Crimson Angel and I are one and the same, and I’m finally letting bits of her into my everyday life.
“Later.” Asher chuckles at Alexander’s expression before he pulls away from the curb, steering us into the traffic.
Wrapping my arms tighter around his waist, my heart races as I feel the hard plane of his abs rippling under his shirt, and I lean in close, loving how it feels to be on the back of his motorcycle.
“Where to?” Asher asks over his shoulder.
“Anywhere but here. Just get me out of this place,” I say over the rumble of the engine, and Asher nods before shifting gear and picking up speed.
It feels freeing here on the back of his bike.
I’ve been on motorbikes before when I was younger.
In Australia, on my family’s estate, we had dirt bikes we used to spend hours on as kids.
It didn’t matter that I was a girl until I was a teenager, where the gender gap seems to start in the Marx family.
And where the women of the Australian underworld become leverage.
I learned that lesson when one of my family’s enemies kidnapped me straight off the beach. It was by fluke that I killed him. My only intention was to get away from him, but I rammed a fire poker right through his eye and straight into his brain.
It was over so fast. The whole kidnapping lasted three hours, and even though my dad and my uncles Ewan and Randall refused to give me lessons in killing after that, my brothers begged my older cousins, Leo and Conrad, to help.
And they did. They took it upon themselves to make sure I’d never be untrained again.
The busy lunch rush of Hedgwick starts to dissipate as we leave the town limits and ride into the country. Asher’s bike only slows once we turn off the main road, and before I know it, we are travelling along the dirt tracks that surround our local reservoir.
Pulling up at a rest stop, Asher cuts the engine, and I uncurl myself from him, climbing off the bike. By the time I’ve tugged off the helmet, Asher is off too, his concerned gaze focused on mine.
“Stay put.” I point to the ground between us, and his dark brows furrow.
He doesn’t speak, though, his lips thinning as he gives me a nod, and I turn on my heel, beelining for the walking track down to the water.
I walk fast at first, and then my steps turn into a run as my building emotions start to overwhelm me. By the time I make it to the water’s edge, hot, angry tears are streaming from my eyes, and I release the scream that has been lodged in my throat since leaving the restaurant.
I bend and heave before releasing another scream, falling to my knees in a mess of helpless tears.
Sometimes I wish I never came to this country on that bloody gap year. I wish I had stayed back in Australia with my friends and family and focused on trying to make a life there.
But then, if I had, I wouldn’t have Jude and Ronan.
They are my everything. I can’t even fathom living in a world where they don’t exist. But maybe, if I had just refused to return to Alexander when I found out about Tamara the first time, back when I was pregnant, I could have gone back to Australia and raised the boys there.
I sigh. That wouldn’t have worked either. My family was furious that I’d managed to get myself knocked up. Uncle Ewan demanded I abort the pregnancy, and once he did that, my parents took his side. I didn’t really have anywhere to go but back to Alexander.
I stay on my knees in the dirt for a while, almost expecting Asher to turn up at my side, but he doesn’t, so I give myself this moment, and then bury all the hurt down deep where it usually stays before I drag my sorry arse back off the ground and navigate the trail, returning to Asher.
“You did as I asked,” I say as I approach him, his head darting up from studying the ground.
“Of course. I can follow instructions.” He gives me a lazy smirk, and it feels so familiar that I have to stop myself from walking right into his arms.
“You didn’t follow instructions last night.” I lift a copper brow at him, and his smirk grows.
“When it comes to worshipping you, I don’t understand the words no or stop.”
Dear Lord, this man is going to completely undo me.
“That’s going to be a problem,” I state, crossing my arms over my chest, and his brows shoot up.
“It is?”
“Yes,” I sigh. “You need to give me some time to process things.”
He straightens from his bike. “How much time?”
“I’m not sure.”
Asher blows out a frustrated breath. “Can I worship you while you process?”
I can’t help it. I giggle, but shake my head. “No.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound like fun,” he states, and my shoulders drop.
“I’m sorry. I can’t get over the fact that I helped raise you. It seems wrong in my head to be doing things like we did last night.”
“But it also feels right. Doesn’t it?” Asher grins, and I shrug.
“Which is why I need time,” I admit, and he nods, his eyes falling to the dusty ground as he kicks a stone around with his boot.
“Are you going to keep dating while you process?”
I want to say no, because that’s the truth, however I still need a cover when I go out on kills. The best way to do that is for him to think I’m on a date.
“Yes. Please do the same.”
Asher is quiet for a beat while he studies me, his whisky eyes dancing between mine.
Can he tell I lied just now?
“You think you can handle seeing me with someone else, knowing what my tongue can do?”
Shit. My cheeks heat at his words, and I can’t hold back my grin.
“Stop trying to hypnotise me with sex. It won’t work.”
Asher chuckles. “On the contrary. It’s worked each time so far.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to hide my grin.
He knows how to get to me. I don’t know how that happened, but he’s damn good at it, which is why I need space. I can’t think straight around him.
“Was it purely a coincidence that you were at The West End today when I was?” I ask and he smirks.
“Nope. I followed you when you left the salon. I was coming to see you.”
“Why were you coming to see me?”
“I was going to ask you to join me for lunch, but it turns out your ex-husband beat me to it.” There’s a flicker of annoyance that crosses Asher’s face, and I instantly hate seeing it there.
I frown, wishing I’d never gone to the stupid lunch Alexander demanded I attend.
“What was all that about?” Asher asks, and I shake my head.
If I can’t tell my sons about Melanie, then I can’t tell Asher.
“Just typical Alexander bullshit,” I deflect, stepping forward and grabbing my helmet. “Can you please take me back to the salon? The alcohol I drank has gone straight to my head, so I need to reschedule my clients.”
Asher grins momentarily at my comment and then watches me as I fit the helmet, looking like he wants to say something.
“What?” I ask, and he works to hide his smirk.
“Nothing, Lil. Get on.” He bobs his head toward his bike. “I’m ready to have your hands all over me again. I could tell how much you enjoyed it on the ride up here.”
This man… he’s relentless.