Chapter 13 #2
He’s not wearing a suit jacket, but he’s still wearing a crisp white collared shirt, although more casually than normal with the buttons undone at the top, and his sleeves rolled up to show the inky vines that weave up one arm.
“You know you’ll never find a wife if you keep moving around so much, Bar. No woman wants to be left alone to raise kids by herself.”
He scoffs. “I don’t plan on having a wife. Ever.” He grunts before lifting his mug to his lips and taking a sip of his coffee.
“You know she’s older now—”
“Did you call for something?” he snaps, cutting me off, and I sigh, my shoulders dropping at his dismissal.
My cousin has his own hang-ups involving someone much younger than him. Maybe I should tell him about Asher. Then he can see that age difference is no big deal.
Jesus, who am I kidding? This thing with Asher and me is a huge deal.
“Fine.” I give in and change the conversation to why I called. “I just thought you should know I may have engaged in a message conversation with my texting stalker.”
“The fuck!” Barrett snaps, anger flashing over his expression just as another voice cuts over his.
“What the fuck do you mean, stalker?”
I freeze at the voice, the screen showing Barrett’s phone getting knocked over, and when it’s lifted again, I come face to face with one of my brothers.
Devon.
For a moment, all I can do is blink at him.
“Lil? You have a stalker?”
Air seizes in my lungs, and in a panic, I end the call.
My hands are shaking as my eyes blur with tears, and I just stare at my iPad screen where my brother’s face was moments ago.
I haven’t seen him in over twenty years, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t followed what’s happening with my family through the Australian media. He’s not the young guy I left behind. He’s a grown man, very much resembling younger versions of the older Marx men in the family.
A video call starts flashing on the screen, and a sob escapes me as Barrett’s betrayal sinks in.
He knew my brother was there. He knew Devon could hear what I was saying, and he had no intention of letting me know.
How many times has he done that?
My phone chimes with a text message, and I open it to see it’s from Barrett.
BARRETT: Pick up the call so I can explain.
So he can make an excuse, he means.
How could he?
LILY: Give me what you have on the MacKenzie brothers, and then we are done.
BARRETT: Lily, don’t be like that. Let me explain.
LILY: No need. For a moment I forgot you’re a Marx. That’s on me.
BARRETT: You’re a Marx too. Don’t forget that.
LILY: The difference is, I’ve chosen not to be. I chose a better life. Give me the information.
BARRETT: Pick up the call, and I will.
LILY: No. Send it via encrypted email. Don’t contact me again!
BARRETT: I’ll send the email soon, but don’t think for a fucking moment we are done.
I don’t respond to his message. I can’t. I feel so betrayed. I feel like a fool.
Why did I think I could trust my cousin?
I’ve been doing that for over twenty years, and now I have to wonder how many times one of my brothers or his were sitting away from the camera or in the same room, hearing everything on our voice call.
Has he done that with my dad? With his?
A shiver ripples up my spine at the thought, and I shut down my iPad, not wanting to hear him try to video call on it again.
Glancing around my empty house, I feel nothing but cold loneliness.
I miss my sons. I miss Asher.
My God, how can I miss Asher? What the hell am I thinking?
Am I only into him because I’m lonely?
“Shit,” I groan, swiping the tears from my cheeks and standing from the stool.
I need to get out of my head.
Killing helps, but I don’t have a current job, and finding a random person to murder is too risky.
Deciding the best thing to do is exhausting myself, I get changed and do a two-hour workout, some of it sprinting on the treadmill until I can’t breathe, and the rest in the backyard, practicing some of my combat skills.
I forgo dinner and head to the shower, needing to feel the scalding water on my skin, like I’m trying to punish myself.
Maybe I am… for being too trustworthy.
Barrett is a Marx. I should never have thought he was anything but.
The steam from my shower fogs up the mirror instantly, and I step under the spray, letting go again and crying under the stream.
No one really prepares you for what life will be like once your kids are grown and no longer need you. Even if I was still married to Alex and we were somewhat happy, I still think I’d feel this cold loneliness down to my bones, regardless.
But I don’t feel it when Asher’s around. I’m so worried I’m using him without realising it.
Surely if that’s the case it would be just sex, right? Not wondering what he’s doing right now? If he’s having fun, and if there are any girls around that are catching his eye.
Girls his own age.
Trying to stop my spiral, I shave my legs and wash my hair, and when I’m about to rinse the conditioner out, a noise somewhere in my house has me stilling and straining to hear.
It could be Asher returning, although the uni parties tend to run until the early hours of the morning, so I kind of wasn’t expecting him home for a few hours yet.
My mind flicks to the photographs that someone has been leaving me, and then to the text messages and the fact I know that person has been following me…
Shit. Is today the day my stalker makes their move?
Not wanting to alert whoever it is that I know they’re in my house, I leave the water running and quietly step out of the shower, droplets of water running down my skin.
Tiptoeing over to the vanity, I open the cupboard, reaching in under the bench, and find the gun I have hidden.
Slipping it free, I quickly check the chamber and clip before creeping to the door and listening for movement.
That’s when I hear it.
Movement just on the other side of the door.
My heart thrashes in my chest, and I force myself to remain calm, trying to get into the Crimson Angel’s headspace instead of Lily the hairdresser.
You’ve got this. I tell myself in the world’s shortest pep talk, readying my stance.
In a quick move, I pull open the door, leap into my room and slam the intruder against the wall, shoving my gun under his chin.
“I’m so turned on right now.”
Oh my God!
“Asher! Shit!” I hiss, dropping the gun to my side and taking a step back. “I could have killed you!”
His wide eyes are filled with amusement before they drop down my wet, naked body, checking me out.
“It would’ve been worth it just to see you go all G.I. Jane on me.” He chuckles. “I didn’t know you could do that. Since when do you have a gun?”
I scoff at him for making light of the situation. I really could’ve killed him.
“I’ve been taking some self-defence classes, and I got the gun when Alex left, just in case he wanted to come back, so I’d have something to shoot him with.”
Throwing his head back, Asher laughs, but when his eyes return to mine, a frown tugs at his brows.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He reaches out, and before I can step away, his hands are cupping each side of my face as his gaze dances between mine.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I rush out, but he’s already shaking his head.
“Don’t lie to me. You’ve been crying.”
I gulp as emotion clogs my throat, and I try to shake my head, but it’s hard with the way he’s holding it.
“Lily. Your eyes are red, so unless you’ve been smoking weed, I’m pretty sure you’ve been crying.” He steps even closer, and as if I wasn’t already struggling to keep my distance from this man, he has to go and be all kind and notice. “Has something happened?”
I shake my head again, swallowing thickly again and prepare to lie.
“It’s nothing. Just a mum missing her boys.”
The moment his face softens in even more sympathy, guilt gnaws at me, and I want to divulge all of my secrets to him. Tears prick at my eyes again as I fight for control.
“I’m alright.” I try to reassure him, and as a tear finally escapes, he swipes it away with his thumb before popping it in his mouth and tasting it.
My lips part as my heart flips in my chest, watching his lids flutter closed for a moment as he moans.
“I love the taste of your tears,” he rasps, his voice taking on that gravelly cadence it does when he’s turned on. “But I only want them to fall while you’re choking on my cock.”
A loud laugh bubbles from my lips, and just like that, the mood has lifted.
Asher’s lips spread wide as he joins me, the deep rumble of his laugh filling my chest with warmth instead of the chill I felt earlier when I realised Barrett had betrayed me.
“You’re trouble,” I giggle, stepping back from him and pointing an accusing finger his way.
He simply shrugs.
“You love it.”
Shit.
I really do.
Spinning on my heel, I dart back into the bathroom and place the gun on the bench.
I quickly get back into the shower, tipping my head back under the spray to rinse the conditioner free, all while tracking Asher as he comes to stand in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame, watching me.
“Did you have fun at the party?” I ask, trying to take his focus off the way I just attacked him and then showed him how vulnerable I am.
“Not really,” he states, his gaze hot as it travels the length of my body.
“Why not?”
His eyes come back to lock with mine. “Because you weren’t there.”
Oh, damn. Why do I like hearing him say that?
I struggle to hide my smirk.
“I hate to break this to you, but I’ll never be at a uni party with you and my sons,” I point out, and he chuckles, nodding.
“Good. I don’t want you there distracting all the college guys with your MILF vibes.”
It’s my turn to laugh. “MILF vibes? I do not have MILF vibes.”
Asher raises a brow as if to say, really, and I shake my head, cutting the water and wringing out my hair.
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” he asks, his voice low and gravelly. “I know you’re sore, so I won’t try to stick my cock in you, but I…” He stalls, his eyes momentarily dropping to the floor like he’s suddenly shy.
Asher Scott is not shy. Not one bit.
“You?” I urge, and those whisky eyes flick back up to mine.
“I guess I want to hold you.”
Oh.
I wasn’t expecting him to say that.
His honesty is throwing me the most about this situation between us. I never pegged a twenty-year-old to have the courage to be so open about his feelings.
Asher is no normal guy, though.
Having him sleep with me again tonight is a bad idea. I should tell him as much, yet my chest aches to have his arms around me.
Is it just because I’m lonely?
“Okay,” I say, letting my heart rule over my head, and Asher’s smile lights up his whole face.
Oh, man. I love making him smile like that.
I could get addicted to making him smile like that.
When he moves across the bathroom and opens the shower door, handing me a towel, I take it, trying not to blush at how his eyes rake over me again. It’s not like he hasn’t blatantly ogled me before. It’s just now, something feels different.
Maybe I’m just feeling emotional because of what happened with Barrett, but instead of questioning it, I decide to soak up his attention.
My sons have a new life now. Alex is doing the same with Tamara and Melanie, and even Barrett has a life he’s relatively happy with… but me? I feel like I’ve been in limbo, waiting for this next part of my life to begin.
And it has, so right now, I’m not going to question why it’s happening. I’m just going to embrace it.
Reaching out to me, Asher smiles in a half smirk, looking almost crooked, and I accept his hand, letting him lead me into my bedroom, and to my bed.