Chapter 34
ASHER
Ithought I fucking killed her. Lily nearly passed out after I claimed her anal virginity, freaking me the hell out. It was definitely more intense than I thought it would be. Not just on a physical level, but on an emotional one, too.
There’s just… a kind of clarity that hits after sharing something like that with someone that has the potential to floor you if you aren’t prepared for it.
I wasn’t prepared. I already know I’m in love with Lily. What I know now, that I didn’t before, is that there’s no way I can ever live without her. Ever.
Thank fuck I didn’t kill her!
When I realised she was okay, I held her in my arms, talking softly to her as she slowly roused from her comatose state. Then, when she wasn’t as languid, our lips met in the gentlest of kisses, which seemed to go on forever.
In the best way.
We nibbled and tasted each other in a way that felt more exposing than what we just did together, which seems crazy, yet that’s exactly how it felt.
I’m so in love with this woman. There’s nothing I won’t do for her.
Eventually, we needed to clean up, which is when Lily’s cheeks flushed and she locked herself in the toilet while I showered. She ended up refusing to come out until I gave her some space to clean up like a lady.
I wanted to remind her what she just did with me wasn’t something ladies do, but I didn’t want to put that thought in her head in case she decides to never do it again with me.
That would be fucking devastating.
I doze on Lily’s bed for a while, and when I hear her get out of the shower, I feel inspiration hit and decide I want to sketch her.
Stepping into my jocks, I leave the bedroom, my grin wide as I pad through the quiet house.
Fuck. I don’t think I’ll ever wipe this grin off my face. That’s what she does to me. Makes me feel on top of the world.
Fuck yes. That’s exactly how I feel.
Climbing the stairs two at a time, I realise I must have left the light on in my room, as it flows out onto the landing.
Passing the bathroom, I grin wider as I remember that first night when Lily followed me up here and watched me.
Stepping into the bedroom, I skid to a stop, freezing in place as air gets stuck in my lungs.
Fuck.
Jude… is here.
His dark eyes lift from the piece of paper in his hands, locking onto me as his face twists in rage.
“What. The. Fuck. Is. This?” he hisses so low, so quietly, that I almost miss it.
My eyes fall to the paper in his hand as he tilts it towards me, the pencilled sketch of Lily, his mum, laying naked on her bed with her hair fanned out on the pillow.
Fuck.
FUCK!
I can’t speak, my mouth opening and closing, but no words make it free as I fight how to answer him.
How the fuck didn’t we hear him come in?
How fucking long has he been here?
Oh, shit… did he hear us?
Then, as if the situation couldn’t get worse, it does.
“Here you are.” Lily’s voice floats through the bedroom door as she does. “I’m all cleaned up and ready for round two.”
The heat of her hand sears a trail over my shoulder before her body presses against my back and her lips press to the column of my neck… and my blood turns to ice in my veins.
It’s like time slows as I realise… Lily can’t see him… her son standing in the room… I’m blocking her view.
I can see him, though. The way his expression morphs into a frown of confusion as he watches the way his mother’s hand touches me. Then, to clear recognition as he watches his mum kiss my neck.
It’s when I feel Lily’s soft body stiffen behind me, a gasp flying from her lips, that I know she has finally spotted her son.
“Mum?” The question doesn’t come from Jude. It comes from behind us, falling from Ronan’s lips this time.
Shit… he’s here too.
How the fuck didn’t we know they were here?
There’s so much confusion in the tone of Ronnie’s one word, like he’s trying to decipher what he just walked in on, while Jude’s face turns bright red with pure rage.
Lily spins from me, facing Ronan, and it’s in that moment that Jude launches himself at me.
I have a split second to prepare, bracing myself enough that when he crashes into me, we don’t go flying back into his mum.
We crash to the floor, hard, the wind flying from my lungs as pain splinters through my side where I’m pretty sure the stitches just tore apart.
The first blow of Jude’s fist is a surprise.
Not that I hadn’t been expecting it, but the sheer power behind it rattles my brain.
I try to cover my head, refusing to fight back, because unless Jude or Ronan are a threat to Lily, there’s no scenario where I would hit them.
And since their anger is warranted, I resign myself that I could possibly die here tonight.
“Stop!” I hear Lily scream, and then Ronan’s voice, too, yelling obscenities at his mum as he lashes out at her verbally.
“Stop!” she screams again, and then I hear an umph fly from her right before Ronan joins his brother in my beating, his foot kicking straight into my gut.
I curl into myself, trying to protect my injuries as much as I can, but it’s useless. These two are a force of nature. Nothing will stop them.
“Please stop!” Lily cries. “Don’t make me do this!”
The twins ignore their mum, but I hear her. The desperation in her tone. The pain.
“Fucking hell. I’m so sorry,” she cries, confusing the fuck outta me, “I have to do this, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you!”
I’m not sure what the fuck Lily is talking about, but Ronan’s kicks disappear before I hear him grunt, and something crashes across the room.
Prying my eyes open in time to see through the gap in my arms, I watch as Lily comes up behind Jude, their feet visible before he stumbles back, gasping as he crashes to the floor a few feet away.
“What the fuck, Mum?!” Ronan hisses, and he comes into view, crawling across the floor to his brother.
“I told you to stop. You should have fucking listened!” Lily snaps in her parental tone.
“How the hell did you do that?” Jude gasps as air fills his lungs again, and I try to figure out what she did to her sons to have them reacting this way.
“You could have killed him!” Lily snaps, and I see Jude’s glare as I try to sit up. “He’s recovering from a fucking stab wound. And you know damn well he’d never fight you back. Is that what you wanted? To kill him?”
“Yes,” Jude snaps, and Ronan hisses, “no.”
“I get it. You’re pissed. You shouldn’t have found out this way. I know that. But Asher isn’t the one you should be mad at.”
Slowly sitting up, I drag myself over to the wall to prop myself against it, the twins standing from the floor, anger still contorting their features as they glare at me.
“Mad? It doesn’t even begin to touch on how we fucking feel!” Jude snaps. “You keep lying to us. Keeping secrets. I don’t even know who you are!”
The pained expression that contorts Lily’s face is heartbreaking. I see it. Her sons see it, yet they don’t crumble, too angry to take a breather and listen to their mum.
“Who the fuck are you?” they ask in unison, doing their weird twin thing, and tears pool in Lily’s blue eyes as she shakes her head, right before the twins storm out.