Chapter 18
GRACE
“Was that so bad?” Jack asks from the corner of his mouth as we pose outside the church for photographs. I'm amazed by the amount of people that are here, and by how many death stares I’ve received from female members of the congregation. Particularly, Annabella.
“You look amazing.” I smile when a familiar face approaches us, and then hug Olivia Stanley so tight it’s like she’s holding me onto the earth.
“I feel like everyone is watching me,” I whisper, as another wave of nausea hits me. I’ve been feeling like it ever since I woke up, but I can’t tell Jack; he’ll take it as a sure sign our hard work has been rewarded. I don’t want to disappoint him when it’s probably just nerves.
“You're the bride, everyone is watching. Make the most of it.” She winks as she pulls away.
“Beatrix, pleased to meet you. You can just call me Bea.” The girl standing beside her holds out her hand for me to shake.
“Hi, Bea.” I appreciate getting a warm, friendly smile from her as opposed to a scowl, like every other woman I’ve attempted to speak to.
“You’ve broken a lot of hearts today.” She glances over to the four young women who are clustered together, wearing outrageously large and brightly coloured hats. The looks on their faces suggest they’re at a funeral, instead of a wedding.
“Not intentionally.” I smile back at her.
“Bea, I take it you’ve met my wife?” Jack drags himself away from the couple who took him away and wraps his arm around my shoulder.
“Just introduced myself.” She beams. "Well done, Jack, she’s perfect.” I feel her eyes assessing me, and wonder what she means.
“Honestly, I’m feeling a little out of my depth,” I admit, looking around at all the people gathered in the church yard.
“You just stick with us renegades and misfits, and we’ll see you’re okay.” She winks.
It turns out the wedding breakfast does not happen early like the name would suggest. When it gets to four pm, and I still haven’t eaten, the sick feeling in my stomach has made it all the way up to my throat.
I couldn’t eat anything before the ceremony, I was far too nervous.
I’ve been paranoid for days that someone here would find out who I am and decide that a wedding with that big an audience would be the perfect place to call me out.
I know Jack says his guy is the best, and even though Selena has checked out my new identity and been unable to find any fault, I just can’t help thinking all this is working out too well.
“Are you okay? You haven’t touched your food,” Jack asks when the waiter comes round to clear plates, and he notices mine is still full.
“I’m fine,” I assure him, swallowing the bitter taste in my mouth and smiling. Now that I have the food in front of me, I can’t stomach it.
“It’s amazing what the wedding planner has done to this room,” I point out, trying to distract him. The manor dining hall is hardly recognisable with all the white drapes that hang from the ceiling and gather at the chandelier.
“You need to eat,” he scolds, taking my hand under the table and squeezing it. The corset of my dress seems to be getting tighter around my ribs; the heat in the room is increasing rapidly, and I can feel tiny beads of sweat starting to run over my temple.
“Can you excuse me for just a second?” I drag my hand out of his and head for the door to the hall, lifting my dress so I can race up the stairs when I reach them.
The bile in my throat is rising, so I quickly press my hand over my mouth and race faster up the stairs, making it to my room just in time to dive into my ensuite and throw up in the sink.
Turning on the tap, I try to rinse it away, all while clutching the edge of the basin and trying to get my breath back.
Glancing up at my reflection, I jump when I see him standing in the door frame behind me, looking mad.
“Jack.” I quickly spin around and paste on a smile.
“How long have you been feeling sick?” he questions, stepping closer and looking at the mess in the basin.
“I…it just came on this morning. I’ve been nervous and—”
“Did your period come this morning?” he asks, stroking his thumb across my chin to wipe away the excess vomit I must have missed.
“No, but that doesn’t mean–”
“Come on.” Snatching my hand, he drags me out my room, across the hallway, and into his own bathroom.
“Sit.” He raises the toilet lid and starts lifting my dress.
“I’m perfectly capable of sitting on the loo.
” I snatch the fabric from his hands and raise it up, before dropping my panties and doing as he asked.
It’s pointless trying to argue. I can’t hold this off any longer, even I’m starting to suspect that this could have actually worked. I’ve never been this late before.
Jack opens his bathroom cabinet and takes out a pregnancy test, peeling the foil of the stick open with his teeth and making it somehow look sexy.
“Jack, I don’t think you should count on thi— What the fuck are you doing?” I look at him in horror as he dips his hand between my legs and holds the thing in place.
“I’m making this easy on you; you have to hold up that huge dress.” He smiles like he actually expects me to pee while he holds it.
“Jack, I’m not peeing with you watching.” I stare at him in shock.
“I want to be here for this.” He shrugs, as if that makes everything he’s doing normal.
“I can’t just pee on demand, especially with you watching; go wait outside and give me five minutes.
“I think we’ve already proven that I can get you to do anything, Mrs. Ravenshaw.” My eyes widen with more surprise when I feel the pregnancy stick press between my legs and stroke through my pussy lips.
“What the hell are you doing?” I shriek.
“I’m helping you relax, so we can get this done.” He smiles, continuing to use the stick to massage my sensitive flesh.
“Come on, baby girl, it’s time for us to find out.” He kisses me, and I quickly force him away.
“Jack, I just threw up!” Has he actually gone crazy?
“I don’t care about that.” He moves in again, and this time I don’t stop him; whatever he’s got going on between my legs feels too good. His thumb is now keeping the pregnancy test pressed against my clit, while two of his fingers push inside me, softly, slowly, and at just the right angle.
“I refuse to have an orgasm on your toilet.” I shake my head at him.
“We’ll see.” He kisses me again, hooking his fingers to reach that spot inside me that he knows will trigger me.
“Jack.” I grip his arm and shake my head again.
“You're going to be a good girl and pee on this stick for me,” he tells me in between kisses. “I’m going to make you come, then as soon as I take out my fingers, you're going to do as you're told, okay?”
“This is so fucking wrong,” I whisper, as my own body starts to defy me.
“Not a single thing feels wrong to me. I need to know if you're carrying my child, Gracie, and I need to know now. I’ve waited long enough. Come on, pretty girl, give me what I want.” I yield, losing all control of my senses, and come on his fingers.
“Good girl.” He frowns at me in that condescending way that makes me want to punch and fuck him at the same time. “Now, be good for me again, and pee on the stick,” he whispers in my ear, and I yield to him again; my body relaxed and sedated by the relief he’s just given me.
“That's a good girl.” His lips reward me, and his tongue rolls around mine while I soak the stick he’s holding.
“Good fucking girl,” he tells me again when I’m finished, slowly pulling his hand from between my legs and resting the test on the basin unit beside us.
I slam my hand over his when he goes a step too far and reaches for the toilet roll.
“ I got it,” I assure him.
“You're a duchess now, probably a knocked-up one.” He smiles as he rips off the paper and carefully wipes between my legs. “You need to get used to being cared for.”
“You're crazy, you know that? Do you have no boundaries?” I don’t know if I should be happy or frightened.
“It seems not, when it comes to my wife.” He stands up and offers me a hand, taking my panties from my ankles and dragging them back up. I take the time to straighten out my dress while he rests his palms on the basin unit and stares at the test.
“Don’t you think you should have read the instructions before we did that?” I try to peek for a result over his shoulder, but he’s too damn tall.
“I read them weeks ago when I purchased them,” he answers, remaining focused on the test.
“Well, how long does it take?” I struggle to get a good viewing point and realise that anticipation has stopped me from feeling sick.
“It's been two minutes, but the result came up about twenty seconds ago,” he informs me, and I’m sensing from the tone of his voice that it’s not the result he wanted.
“Shit, I’m sorry. We can try again…Like I said, it rarely happens the first tim—”
“You're pregnant.” He turns around and holds up the test to show me for myself. And there, right in front of me, is the word spelt out…PREGNANT.
“Fuck.” I hold both my hands over my mouth and laugh. “I thought, by the way you sounded, that it was negative.” I push to the back of my mind how relieved I am that it isn’t.
“I’ve been convincing myself, ever since we started this, that you would be, I’ve had a real strong sense, but seeing it for real…” He shakes his head and rests his ass on the bath.
“It's a little late for regrets now.” I bite the smile off my lips, still not letting the fact I’m carrying another human absorb.
“Regrets?” His eyes raise up to mine. “Gracie, I have no fucking regrets.” Grabbing my hips, he steers me to stand between his legs.
“You're pregnant. We’re having a baby.” He says the words like he still doesn’t believe them.
“You're having a baby,” I remind him again. I can’t let myself get swept up in this. The child growing inside me will never be mine; that was the deal.
“But for this part, we’re a team, right?” he checks, stroking his hand over my stomach. This time, when he does it, it creates a warmth inside me, one that makes me feel so special.
“I don’t recall you throwing up.” I try to lighten the mood because his eyes are fixated on my tummy, and suddenly everything feels so intense.
“No, but I’ll be there every time you do and try to make it better. You're going to let me take care of you…of you both. No being stubborn,” he adds with a huge grin on his face.
“Do I have any choice in the matter?” I smile back.
“Not at all.” He kisses my stomach before standing back up. “Do you want me to tell everyone downstairs to go home?”
“You can’t do that, it's our wedding reception.” I shake my head and laugh some more. None of this feels real. I’ve barely gotten used to the fact that I married this man today.
“We can do what the hell we like, it’s our day. Are you still feeling sick?” He scrunches his forehead in concern.
“I feel much better since I threw up. I thought it was just nerves.”
“You're pregnant,” he tells me again, still beaming like I’ve given him the entire world.
“I know, but we have to return to our guests. I don’t want anyone to know about this yet. There's a danger zone, apparently, a lot can go wrong in the first three months.”
“You’ve been doing your research.” He looks as surprised as he is impressed. “And I know there are some risks, but we’ll be fine. I’m going to take the best care of you,” he assures me.
“I just think it’s best we keep this to ourselves until we know everything's okay.” I take his hand and hope he understands. I know, as soon as people find out about this baby, all eyes will be on me, and today has proven how much I hate the limelight.
“Whatever you want, duchess.” He kisses me again. “You sure you're ready to go back down?” he checks. “We can stay up here for longer.”
He holds me in his arms like we’re real-life lovers. Like this marriage today was real, and our future will be built around the child that’s growing inside me. It feels real, it feels good, and I have to distance myself from it before I drop all my shields and end up getting hurt.
“I’m fine, let's go do our thing.” I put some space between us, and when he nods his head and smiles, I let him guide me out the room, wondering how I’m going to last nine whole months without falling in love with him.