Chapter 21
JACK
“You're doing a good thing here, Jack.” Bea swivels on the desk chair, like a boss. “The girls are all really grateful.”
“I’m grateful to you for overseeing it all.
I’ve been a little preoccupied at home,” I admit.
Having Gracie so close but untouchable is proving to be a challenge, but I’m determined to respect her wishes.
It’s just hard to do when all I want is to put my fucking hands on her.
I miss our intimacy; I miss that sense of ease we used to have around each other.
Now it feels as if we spend all our time avoiding one another.
The woman is carrying my child. It’s natural for me to want to be close to her; I want to protect her, care for her, but at the same time, I'm petrified that I’ll push things too far and scare her further away.
“I totally get it. I swear, Alex and Olivia are still in their honeymoon period.” She rolls her eyes but smiles fondly.
“I just need someone I can trust; someone who the girls can relate to until I find someone suitable to run this place. The guy Alex recommended was good, but I thought the girls would feel more comfortable talking to you.” I look down at the list she’s made of the things the girls told her would make their lives here easier.
“I much prefer these kick-ass women to the ones I have to hang around with at all those fancy-assed parties. Did you know Elizabeth is having another garden party next month?” She shakes her head and rests back in the chair.
“And what does your brother think about your new role?” I ask, hoping that he wasn’t offended that I asked her for help over his recommendation.
“He said he would never have sold to your father if he knew it was a business I wanted to be in…which it isn’t, by the way,” she points out before I get any ideas.
“So why are you here?” I ask curiously.
“Your speech was compelling, and after speaking to the girls, I’ve learnt it was accurate.
Most of them are just trying to earn the best they can to get by.
If I can help them do that safely, then I’m all in.
Though you still have to convince your financial advisor of the new rules, he’s an arrogant prick,” she tells me.
“The club already charges the client a room fee; the bar sales alone cover the overheads on this place. Those girls deserve to get every penny they earn and be able to do it safely.” I like to think I’m playing a small part in fixing my father’s mistakes.
“Your mum would be proud of you.” Bea smiles, surprising me by turning unexpectedly sentimental.
“You didn’t know my mother.” I let her see how confused I am.
“I know, but I can see she did her best to raise you into a good person, and I get the sense her opinion is the only one that would ever really matter to you, except, of course, your wife, who, by the way, is disgustingly beautiful.” She sniggers.
“I don’t think my mum would be proud of the fact I’ve taken over the family sex club.” I shake my head and laugh, refusing to let this turn into a deep and meaningful conversation about her.
“You're being accountable, Jack. Alex regrets selling the place to your dad; he didn’t do his due diligence, and he based his decision on trust. He had no idea how it was going to turn out, and if you had closed the club, these girls would have nowhere to go. They’d have to work the street.
You're fixing what your father broke and, for that, she’d be proud of you. ”
“Yeah, well, let's hope so.” I place the list back in front of her. “Hire yourself a manager to see that all this gets sorted,” I tell her, checking the time. It’s been two hours since I dropped Gracie off at the apartment, and that, in my opinion, was far too long ago.
“Tell Grace I said hi, and congratulations.” Bea winks.
“How did yo–”
“I overheard her and Olivia talking on the phone a few weeks ago; you really didn’t waste any time, did you?” she laughs.
“Gracie doesn't want anyone to know just yet, so we’d appreciate your discretion.”
Bea draws a zip across her mouth and picks up the list.
“Do you really want me to hire the hotter security guards?” she checks.
“That part you can ignore; I don’t care if they look like gargoyles as long as they can handle someone who oversteps,” I tell her, scooping up my keys and heading out the door.
“And Sophia showed me some of the designs Polly’s been working on; they’re incredible.” Gracie has been a ball of energy since I picked her up, but I notice the way her smile fades as we drive through the estate gates and I return her to her prison.
“Sounds like you had a good time.” I park in front of the house and get out of the car.
Gracie never waits for me to open her door for her, despite the number of times that I’ve told her she should.
Instead, she continues talking about her time with her friends.
“Selena said she’d like us to go to Canada, but I know Polly’s always wanted to go travelling to South America…
Sophia will go anywhere, she real doesn–”
“Will you keep your voice down?” I snap.
“Do you want the staff to hear how you plan to leave me the second the inconvenience of bearing my child is over?” All the anger and frustration I’ve felt the past few weeks comes out in my voice, and Gracie shocks me when, instead of a comeback or a slap to the face, her eyes fill with tears, and she rushes away from me.
My first instinct is to run after her, comfort her, hold her.
Tell her I’m sorry, but I know that I’d fuck that up, too.
I don’t know how to be around her anymore.
I can’t turn off my feelings; every time I’m close to her, I run the risk of pushing things beyond where she wants them to go, so I’m probably better off letting her be.
“Trouble in paradise?” Cecelia comes from the corridor, where I assume she’s bumped into Gracie.
“She’s a little hormonal, probably because she's going to have a baby.” I put her straight and watch the smug look on her face drop.
“A baby?” She regains herself and chuckles. “No time wasted spreading your seed.” Her tone is as bitter as her expression, and I know telling her will make Gracie even angrier at me than she already is, but I’m happy to take the hit just for the look on her face.
“I have a duty to produce an heir, don’t I? I think father would be proud.” I move past her towards my room, so I can be alone.
“Gracie.” I knock on the library door after checking every other room in the house and starting to panic. I’m relieved to find her curled up in one of the armchairs, reading.
“I didn’t know you liked to read.” I smile as I step inside and sit on the footstool in front of her.
“There's a lot you don’t know about me, Jack.” I can tell from the look she gives me over the top of the book that she’s still pissed off with me.
“I wanted to find you so I could apologise, I shouldn’t have snapped at you the way I did. I’m sorry.”
“There were no staff around, and even if there were, I could have been talking about taking a trip. I’m not stupid.”
“No, you’re not, you're actually one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met,” I admit, resisting the urge to stroke her leg.
“Yeah, well, let’s hope that intelligence is inherited by your child,” she bites, but the slight smile on her face suggests I’m halfway to being forgiven.
“This situation is harder than I thought it would be. I didn’t expect to feel so…it’s just hard.” I back out of telling her how I really feel. Her body is going through a lot of changes; now isn’t the time to complicate things.
“It’s the best way. We have to pretend to everyone else; it’s silly to pretend to ourselves.”
“And what if I’m not pretending?” I put it to her so I can gauge her reaction.
“Jack.” She closes her book and places it on the table beside her. “You're naturally going to feel protective over me because I’m pregnant with your child; it’s a combination of human instinct and your kind nature. Don’t mistake that for something else.”
“I just don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. Aren’t you going to want to know him, or wonder how it would be watching him grow up?”
“He’s not mine, he’s yours, and I know that you are going to give him the most incredible life. You're a good person, Jack, and you're going to be a great father.”
“But—”
“There are no buts, you chose me because having children is the last thing I want. You chose to do this whole thing because you didn’t want a wife.
Don’t forget that.” She smiles as she sits forward and strokes my face.
“I’ll be more careful about what I say around the house.
” She gets up and takes the book with her, leaving me alone in the library, still as frustrated and hopeless as I was when I entered.