Chapter 83 Derrick
DERRICK
I’m having the best time. Dinner last night was amazing, and seeing everyone in their matching PJs was funny to see, even Charlie had his own pair.
Then we spent the night singing, drinking way too much whiskey, and the guys telling me ghost stories about the castle, which freaked me out.
I made Charlie sleep with a nightlight on because I was sure a ghost was going to find me.
It’s New Year’s Eve, and the snow is falling thick and fast. A blustery winter storm came through last night, blanketing the hills so all you can see is nothing but snowy white.
It’s magical. And I … I’m fully, stupidly happy.
The boys are having a lively competition in the great room over the pool table.
After having one too many glasses of champagne, I need to relieve myself and, of course, get lost in the place, finding the bloody bathroom.
Eventually, I’ve found it, but as I come out, I hear someone say Chance.
I still.
When I turn the corner, I see Arran standing by one of the narrow windows, phone pressed to his ear, with a wide smile on his face. His cheeks are rosy, and I don’t think it’s from the whiskey.
“I miss you too.”
My stomach drops. I slow my pace, trying not to make any noise.
“I’ll have to check my calendar to see when I can come over.”
He’s going to see him. A sting of anger flares in my chest, mixed with worry. I told him he needed to back off. And now he’s calling him on New Year’s Eve. Arran nods at whatever he’s hearing and then giggles.
Fuck.
“Look, I’d better go, otherwise my mum will come looking for me. Go have fun. I’m proud of you. Your first sober New Year’s. You’ve got this. And call me if you need anything, okay,” he says. Guess Chance is truthful about some things, just not everything. “Happy New Year, buddy.”
And with that, he hangs up. When he turns around and sees me, he stills. “Derrick, I didn’t realize you were there.”
“Got lost on my way to the bathroom. I wasn’t interrupting anything, was I?”
Arran shakes his head. “No, just chatting with a friend.”
I nod. “Chance?”
“Excuse me?”
“I know you were talking to Chance,” I tell him.
“Yeah. We connected when I was in LA. He’s a good guy,” he tells me.
“I also saw you in the garden.”
Arran stills. “Garden?” he questions me.
I look around the corridor and move closer to him. “I saw you two together.” Arran’s face goes pale, and he looks like a deer caught in headlights. “It’s okay. No one knows. Your secret is safe.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” he argues.
“You can trust me.” Arran raises a brow at me but doesn’t say anything. “Did you know Chance is my ex?” Arran’s mouth falls open. Guessing that’s a no. “We dated on and off for years.” Arran swallows hard. “I don’t want him to fuck you over like he did me.”
“Do you still want him?”
“What! No. Hell no. I’m happy with Charlie, so fucking happy with him. But I also think you can do better than Chance.”
“I’m into women.”
“That’s what Chance used to tell me, too.”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to get at, Derrick,” he says angrily.
“I’m just saying, be careful when it comes to Chance. He is very much in the closet, as well as other issues he has.”
“Like the drugs?” Arran asks.
“Yeah. They make him mean. Aggressive. Angry.”
“Never seen that side of him,” Arran argues.
“Addicts have a way of hiding their problems until they can’t,” I explain.
“You should be more supportive of your friends, especially those who are trying to be sober.”
Oh.
I feel like I’ve made a massive misstep here. “I’m just looking out for you, that’s all.”
“Appreciate that, but I can be friends with whomever I want,” he tells me, shutting down that line of conversation. “We should get back to the great room, people will be looking for us.” He storms off ahead of me.
Fuck.
I walk back in behind him, and Charlie senses the shift between Arran and me as soon as I step into the room, everyone else hasn’t.
“Are you okay?” he asks me, pulling me into a hug and kissing my temple.“I overheard Arran and Chance on the phone,” I tell him.
“And let me guess, Arran didn’t like the conversation the two of you had.”
I shake my head. “He’s not happy with me.”
“You probably caught him off-guard, I’m sure once he’s processed it, everything will go back to normal.”
“You think?” I ask hopefully.
“I’m sure of it. Now, come join me at the pool table so we can demolish your brothers.”
Charlie tugs me into the warmth of the great room, the laughter, the clacking pool balls, the fire popping in the hearth. Everyone’s loud and happy and wrapped in various Sinclair tartans, and I’m standing here feeling like I’ve stepped in something I didn’t mean to.
Arran doesn’t look at me once. Not when Callum hands him a drink. Not when Tavish tells some wild story about nearly being attacked by a highland cow. Not even when Rowan announces he just beat Charlie at pool and the whole room erupts in loud, dramatic groans.
It stings.
And maybe Charlie is right, maybe Arran just needs time. I just thought I was helping. But as midnight approaches and everyone gathers for the countdown, that distance sits like a stone in my chest.
TEN …
NINE …
EIGHT …
Charlie’s arms wrap around my waist from behind, his chin on my shoulder, grounding me.
FIVE …
FOUR …
THREE …
Arran laughs at something Tavish says, head tipping back, cheeks flushed.
TWO …
ONE …
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
Champagne pops. Everyone screams and kisses. Charlie grabs my face and kisses me breathless.
And across the room, Arran’s smiling with everyone else, but when his eyes land on me, they quickly dart away.
It’s fine. He just needs space. Tomorrow will be better.
At least … that’s what I tell myself.
The weekend goes by in a blur, and it’s over too quickly.
Yesterday was perfect. Snowball fights, movies, leftovers, matching pajamas, Davina force-feeding everyone shortbread like she was preparing us for hibernation.
The boys taught Charlie and me a Highland card game I still don’t understand, and Rowan insisted we all take a ‘fresh air walk’ that cures hangovers, apparently, but nearly killed me. It was family in a way I’ve never had.
But today … today we leave. We must move on to our next stop, which is skiing in Switzerland with Charlie’s family.
When we come down the sweeping staircase with our bags, the whole Sinclair clan is already waiting in the great hall.
Coats on. Boots laced. Coffee cups steaming.
Callum is driving us to the airport today because he is leaving, too, he’s giving us a lift to Switzerland.
Who is going to say no to a private plane?
He is staying with his friends in Zermatt, but we are staying in St. Moritz, which are nowhere near each other.
However, the famous Glacier Express train goes from Zermatt to St. Moritz in the morning, which is one of the most scenic train routes in the world.
Charlie thought it would be kind of cool to do, and when he showed me the pictures, it looked like a fabulous experience, even if it takes all day.
Davina rushes forward first. “My boys. I’m going to miss you,” she coos, wrapping her arms around me in a motherly hug before she does the same to Charlie. “Don’t be strangers.”
“You’ve been added to a new family chat, D. You’re stuck with us now.” Lord Fraser chuckles.
“Be prepared for an influx of recipes.” Tavish groans.
“I know you boys are not looking after yourselves and cooking anything of substance.” Davina huffs.
“I’m looking forward to it. I really need to up my recipe game,” I tell her.
“Derrick burns water,” Charlie teases.
“Lucky I’m cute.” I smirk at him.
“At least you have that going for you.” Charlie chuckles as he nudges me.
“Charlie, it has been so wonderful getting to know you, too. The pictures of your home in Montana look amazing,” Davina gushes.
“Like I said, you are always welcome there.”
“I want to play cowboys,” Callum states.
“I think you might get yourself hogtied if you say that in Moonlight Falls,” Charlie tells him.
“I know how to ride a horse, I could be a cowboy.” Callum pouts.
“Don’t think the show ponies you rode are anything like what the cowboys ride,” Rowan teases.
“No, but riding is riding, isn’t it?” Callum asks Charlie.
“Kind of.”
“I want to try bull riding,” Tavish gushes.
“No, you are not. That’s far too dangerous,” Davina pipes in.
“His dating life is dangerous, and he survives that every day,” Arran says, teasing his older brother.
“At least I have a dating life,” Tavish throws back.
Arran flips him off and briefly looks at me before looking away.
“Enough chit-chat, otherwise we’re going to miss our flights,” Callum grumbles.
“You’re flying private, it goes when you go.” Rowan huffs.
“Goodbye, sweetheart, look after yourself,” Davina says.
“I will. Love you. See ya, losers,” Callum says, farewelling his brothers.
“Thanks again for everything, it’s been wonderful,” Charlie says on our behalf as we make our way out the door and get into the car.
The crew is all standing there in the snow, waving at us and smiling, except Arran.
I catch Charlie’s eye, and he reassures me everything will work out, and I sure as hell hope so as we continue to wave until they are nothing but a speck in the snow.