Libel （n.） – Liam
LIBEL (N.):
A WRITTEN OR PUBLISHED FALSE STATEMENT THAT DAMAGES A PERSON'S REPUTATION, EXPOSES THEM TO PUBLIC HATRED, OR HARMS THEIR LIVELIHOOD.
LIAM
F*ck Judge Ashton
The official complaint thread
r/NYCJudges
Maybeth567
Okay seriously, y’all. How is this asshole STILL allowed to be on the bench?
Jury51
This topic gets rehashed every week… Why not view the other threads and discuss it there?
Maybeth567
Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Internet Police.
Those threads don’t have ME and his harsh punishment for ME in them, so get over yourself.
Hyt098
I think it’s because the Mayor (or his wife lmao) has a crush on him… Have you ever really LOOKED at his face?
Yuty
Yessss. I would sit on his face for hours…
Lveryt98
I’ve seen his cockprint on an elevator ride once… That’s probably why. (His face is definitely a work of art…)
Maybeth567
Is there any way we can all band together and complain and get rid of him?
Jury51
There are *300* threads about that topic here already…
Maybeth567
Well, maybe we need 500 more? Who’s with me?
Better yet, let’s band together and attack him in person. Maybe cripple him?
Douse him in gasoline and set him afire? His f*ckery can’t go on for too much longer…
User Maybeth567 has now been banned from the group for terrorist threats.
Ilogged out of my favorite forum of haters and made a mental note to show this to the courthouse security team.
Checking the latest comments was part of my morning routine, and—along with the weather—they gave me a bit of insight on how today’s court session was bound to go.
I picked up my remote and pressed the top button, forcing the drapes to reveal my view of the city.
Gray clouds hung low in the sky, crying raindrops over the city’s streets. Wispy ribbons of fog floated over the Manhattan Bridge, covering the Hudson River’s choppy waters below.
“It’s going to be a long-ass day…” I grabbed my briefcase and headed to the elevator.
The moment I stepped inside, I called my secretary.
“It’s a great day for justice, Judge Ashton!” She answered on the first ring as usual. “How are you on this lovely bright day?”
“It’s raining outside, Mara…”
“It’s only raining if you think it’s raining,” she said. “The sun is out and about for me every day.”
I held back a sigh. This woman was the definition of “toxic positivity”—the type of person who could see an upside in anything, no matter how dire. Even the death penalty.
“Give me a sneak peek of my first three arraignments this morning,” I said.
“Of course, one second.” She hummed a tune while my elevator descended. “Um… You’ve got a home burglary, a second DUI offense, and an animal cruelty charge.”
“What type of animal cruelty?”
“The guy in question was keeping a collection of ticks and cockroaches in his apartment.”
“In a glass case, I’m assuming?”
“No.” She paused. “Apparently, he was setting two hundred of them free every night in the hallway, in hopes of making his neighbors move.”
I blinked.
“He also has an OnlyFans where he, uh, touches himself while they crawl all over him. Oh and—”
“Don’t tell me anything else,” I cut her off. “Put a red check on that one. What about the next three?”
“You’d hate me for telling you.” There was a smile in her voice. “You’re going to have a long day, sir.”
I figured…
“I’ll have plenty of coffee and treats ready for you in your chambers.”
“Thank you, Mara.” I slid behind the wheel of my McLaren. “I’ll see you in court soon.”
“Wait, one last thing,” she said. “Don’t hang up.”
“What is it?”
“We still have an outstanding bench warrant from three months ago,” she said. “Do you want me to resend it to the police?”
“Who has the audacity to ignore my warrant for three months?”
“It’s a Miss Olivia Spencer, sir,” she said. “Maybe she moved to another county?”
“Or maybe she’s testing my authority.”
“I highly doubt that, sir,” she said. “Maybe I can send it out to nearby counties as well?”
“Yes, do that,” I said. “And mark it for today…”