Chapter 5 #2
"Oh, well in that case, I understand," she says, waving her hand dismissively. "You're a wreck at that stage. Don't worry. I have time," she says, smiling again. "Is the father watching him?"
"A friend. The father..." I pause. "He skipped out."
"Pfft... these fathers today." She pauses. "But you're a pretty thing. You'll find your happiness."
I just nod silently, arranging the bouquet, not sure what she means by find your happiness.
Who wants to date a single mom who works in a flower shop?
And besides, WHERE am I supposed to meet someone?
Flowers are a woman's thing, and the men who come in here aren't buying them for themselves, but for a woman they're with or hoping to win over.
I push the thoughts aside and feel my hands start to tremble, even though I know she probably meant well.
"Almost done. That'll be..." I calculate in my head. "$30," I say. "I'll give you a $10 discount for the wait." I smile kindly, knowing full well that my profit on the bouquet is no more than $5, because the geraniums have gotten really expensive to buy.
"I... um...," the elderly lady says, fumbling in her purse. "Now this is awkward. I must have..."
The door behind her opens, and the little bell I installed above it last year chimes. Both the woman and I turn around.
And my heart stops!
Not just that: goosebumps spread over my entire body, followed by a tingling sensation I can't place or don't want to place.
It's him.
Alex.
Ben's father.
He's standing in my shop.
What the hell is he doing here?
At least he seems just as surprised as I am, because he says nothing and just stares at me for several seconds. But he seems to recover faster than I do, silently approaching the counter, which is currently my only protection between him and me, and stands next to the old lady.
"You two..." the elderly woman says, pointing her index finger back and forth between us. "You know each other, don't you?"
"Barely," I say curtly as I notice Alex opening his mouth, and I shoot him a venomous glare.
"You should ask her out, she's such a pretty thing," the lady whispers to Alex, yet loud enough for me to hear every word. "But you should know one thing. She has..."
My heart stops again. She's not about to tell him about my child, is she? I have to do something.
"Twenty dollars," I say louder than I intended, hoping neither of them hears the panic in my voice, and slam the bouquet onto the counter in front of her. She stops talking and recoils slightly.
"Now, now," she says, scolding. "Not so rough."
"Cash or card?" I ask forcefully, hoping she'll be gone soon so that Alex and I... wait: there is no we. I don't know what he wants here either, but at least I don't want the old lady overhearing every word.
"I'm sorry... I... my wallet... I must have left it at home. I'll be right back, I just have to..."
"I can take care of that," Alex says, giving the lady his signature smile, which makes her giggle as if she were twenty years old again. That look. He's still got it, and he uses it whenever he pleases.
"That... would be so kind, young man," she says with a grin.
"How much was it again? Twenty?" he asks, pulling a wad of bills from his pocket, which brings back memories of when we first met and he paid for the gold leaf bouquet as if it were nothing.
"Thirty dollars," I say sternly, feeling my heart pound like crazy and my face flush, because of course they both heard me say twenty just a moment ago.
But this man, who had me thrown out like that, he gets no discount.
In fact, he gets nothing here, and the only reason I'm not kicking him straight out of my shop is because a customer is standing next to me.
"Didn't you say..." the old lady asks.
"It's fine. I'll get it." He then hands me one of his hundred-dollar bills. "Keep the change," he adds.
"Oh, thank you. You're a sweetheart," the lady says happily.
A fleeting smile crosses my face as she takes her bouquet, genuinely pleased that Alex helped her out.
But why is he doing this? Is he trying to show me how nice he is to people?
It would have been enough not to dump me like trash and.
.. whatever, that's in the past. The lady goes to the door, her hand already on it.
The bell chimes, and as she's about to walk through, she drops her purse. "Oh," she says.
"Wait, I'll help you," Alex says, rushing over to her, picking up her things, and handing her the purse.
"Such a nice young man, isn't he?" she says, looking from Alex to me with a beaming grin. I force a fake grin and nod.
"Whatever's going on between you two, I just wanted to say you're cute together," the lady says, then turns, lets the door fall shut behind her, and leaves us both in the ensuing silence.
She did not just say that, did she?
Alex walks back toward the counter. My heart is racing. I avoid his gaze, open the cash register, and put the hundred-dollar bill inside.
"Here’s your change," I say, handing him several bills with trembling hands.
"But I said..."
"I don't want anything from you. Nothing at all," I snap, and only as the words leave my mouth do I feel the white-hot anger completely flood over me. I clench my free hand into a fist, and my face is probably tomato-red.
Does he think a tip makes up for how he treated me? Is he just going to pretend nothing happened? He hasn't even apologized since he got here, instead just striding through the world as self-assured as ever, as if he owns it and...
...damn it, why does he have to be so handsome?
And why am I thinking that right now? Haven't I suffered enough? I try to imagine him screwing his assistant as thanks right after I left, that busty monster he surely only hired for that reason. I bet the two of them had a good laugh about me.
"Beth, about that night," he begins and pauses. Is he pretending this is hard for him? Is anything about him not an act? "I'm really sorry, I..."
I look up. Is he actually going to apologize now? But why? And how did he find me after all this time? What brings him here anyway?
"I don't think I want to talk to you," I interrupt, but my voice sounds softer, and I feel my knees shaking.
"I can understand that, it must have seemed like..."
"Beth, you have to come. It's..." Veronica rushes down the stairs that lead directly from the apartment to my shop and freezes when she spots Alex.I gesture wildly, making a slicing motion at my neck, hoping she understands not to say anything about Ben.
Not in front of him. We have an agreement in general that she should come up with an excuse to relieve me, so it doesn't seem to customers like I don't have my life, and by extension my shop, under control.
"...I dropped something," she finishes, then looks from me to Alex and back again. I almost have to grin because she's just such a terrible liar.
"I'm coming," I say, hearing Ben start to fuss upstairs. "Will you stay here for a bit?"
"I will," Veronica says. "Is he getting anything?" she asks, gesturing to Alex in front of the counter.
"He was just leaving. And he's never coming back. Right, Alex?" I ask, turning and rushing up the stairs to my child—to our child—who needs me, trying to suppress the tears and the anger.
"Alex?" Veronica asks behind me, but I don't turn around. The name means something to her; I've said it often enough, and she's surely seen his eyes and the resemblance to Ben.
"That's right, that's my name," I hear Alex's voice say. "I'll just come back another time, maybe we could have dinner then..." I hear him say.
"No, not ever," I shout down, slamming the door upstairs behind me. I go to Ben, take him in my arms, and let the tears flow freely. "Shhh, it's okay, my love. Mommy's here."