Chapter 34
Alex
I stretch and blink, slowly coming to in my bed. A raspy, barking cough forces me to sit up, accompanied by a piercing headache from the amount of alcohol I drank last night and the night before.
"Shit, where's my aspirin," I mumble, fumbling around in my nightstand while rubbing my eyes, trying to somehow get a handle on the headache.
I finally find the small box, tear open the package, pop a pill in my mouth, and wash it down with a big gulp of water.
I stare into space, waiting for it to kick in, and let the last two days play back in my head.
After finding out I have a child, I was flooded with all sorts of emotions and could barely form a coherent thought. In fact, I nearly caused a rear-end collision twice on the way to the office because my head was simply somewhere else.
When I got to my office, Eric was waiting for me, looking at me with an innocent expression.
I would have loved to just smash his face in for what he had undoubtedly done on Jake's orders.
I had originally planned to catch him in the act and play a little game with him, but I wasn't in the mood for that anymore.
I didn't want to play games anymore. I had to face the truth. And the truth was: he had sold me out and betrayed me.
"You look terrible, sir. Rough day? Maybe you should take some time off," the snake in the grass said to me.
"I'm going to do just that, Eric. But before I do, I wanted to let you know that you're fired. Pack your things and get the hell out," I roared, pointing a finger at the door.
He just stared at me at first, then nodded, not the least bit surprised, and didn't even ask why. He knew. And so did I.
I called security and had him escorted out, then called Richard in accounting and told him in broad strokes that I wasn't doing well, that my assistant was the mole, and asked if he could hold down the fort for two or three days.
He's a true friend. I knew it was a lot to ask, but he agreed. Reassured, since Richard was the best man for the job, I left the company, went to the first dive I could find, and got drunk.
I remember the washed-up women who would occasionally hit on me and make advances, but I wasn't interested. I just ignored them and drank one whiskey after another, eventually waking up the next morning to realize I was out of aspirin and buying a large supply at the pharmacy.
Yesterday was the same story. I reached for the alcohol as soon as the thought that I was a father crept back into my mind. I was angry and sad that Beth hadn't told me anything. I would have been there for her, damn it. For both of them. Why did she want to...
And again, I drowned the question with a swig from the bottle.
It was pure chance that Troy showed up on my doorstep last night. You'd think he could smell my misery, but the truth is we'd had plans for a while that I'd simply forgotten about. Just like I wanted to forget everything around me.
Our plans to see the New York Knicks play from front-row seats fell through. I wasn't in the mood. Instead, I sat on the couch in sweatpants, offered Troy a beer, and looked for a spot for it on the coffee table among the many empty bottles.
"Man, oh man. You've really got it bad," Troy said after we'd clinked our second beers and I'd told him everything.
"Well, how would you feel if you suddenly found out you were a father?
" I asked. Troy just gave me a sideways glance, then it occurred to my half-foggy brain that things with him and his Monica had been no less turbulent.
It just felt like a lifetime ago. I can't even remember what he was like without a wife and child.
Monica and TJ are just a part of him, like blossoms in spring, like chocolate on.
.. Good God, what kind of crap was I thinking!
"Okay, I know. But this is different. Why did she do that? Hide the baby from me?" I began.
"I think she had her reasons. You weren't exactly without fault either, if I understood correctly, right?"
"But that's different. A baby, that's..." I interjected, but Troy cut me off.
"I'll say it again: you've got it bad. This right here is heartbreak, buddy," he said and took a swig from his bottle.
"You mean..." I said, trying to understand.
"I mean, I've never seen you this messed up," he said, gesturing to the coffee table full of empty bottles. "Women have always been more of a commodity to you. An object. But this Beth and her child... I think you love them."
"Love," I mumbled quietly, gazing past Troy into the void.
Could he be right? There was some truth to the fact that I usually didn't care about women.
But with Beth, it was different. It had always been different.
Since our first encounter. And the fact that we had a child and she hid it from me.
.. I don't think I'd ever felt such pain before.
"Is something dawning on you?" Troy asked with a raised eyebrow and took another sip.
I was about to take a drink myself, but I paused and set the bottle aside. "I have to go to her. I have to tell her everything. Tell her about my assistant Eric, who pulled this shit with the building and the eviction and..."
"Alex, it's eleven p.m. and, if I may say so: have you looked in the mirror lately?"
"What? What do you mean?"
"You've got dark circles under your eyes, a stained T-shirt, and you reek like a bottle of booze.
I think it's great that you want to go to her, but how about you do it sober?
Tomorrow morning. Go to bed, sleep it off, and please, for the love of God, take a shower. And after that, tell her how you feel!"
******
That's exactly my plan for today. Freshly showered and with two double espressos in me, I feel like a new man. I also cleaned up the mess in the living room so my housekeeper doesn't run away screaming, and put on some fresh clothes.
All of that took quite a while, and it's already past noon.
That's mainly because of the little surprise I wanted to arrange for Beth.
A kind of proof of how serious I am. The idea came to me spontaneously this morning, and the corresponding envelope with the confirmation is on my passenger seat as I drive to the flower shop whose owner and her child mean everything to me.
I go over what I want to say to her in my head again and feel my heart pounding in my throat.
I had always interpreted love as something silly, cheesy. But the fact that the mere thought of failing at this takes my breath away is neither cheesy nor silly. This is for all the marbles, and I'm scared as hell of losing her.
I park not far from the entrance, grab the envelope, stick it in the inside pocket of my jacket, get out, and with every step toward the door, my tension grows. After taking another deep breath, I open the door.
"Well, look what the cat dragged in," a female, dismissive voice that isn't Beth's rings out. I look at the counter and see her friend Veronica, who's glaring at me while packing something into a cardboard box. That's when I notice that there are boxes everywhere.
"Can I... can I talk to Beth? Is she here?" I ask, walking toward her and gesturing toward the stairs.
"You're the last person I'd tell. And you know what?" she asks, glaring at me. "I'd love nothing more than to punch you in the face."
"I understand some things didn't go well. But I'm here to clear everything up. I really am."
"Pah," Veronica just scoffs and waves me off. "You think your words can change anything now, after you sent your assistant like a coward to finish Beth off?"
I don't understand a word she's saying. I give her a questioning look, searching for an explanation.
"Don't play dumb now," she yells and slaps a piece of paper on the counter. "He dropped this off—this morning." I scan the lines and feel hot and cold at the same time.
This is my fault. How could I have been so stupid, firing him and then retreating into my shell to get drunk like a sulking teenager? I should have known he'd run to Jake and they'd cook something up. But I never thought they would take it out on Beth like this and get her thrown out.
"Wait," I say quickly, pulling out my phone and calling the landlord, Mr. Keith, whom I had spoken with recently. He was friendly then and will surely help me this time, too.
"Mr. Keith, Alex Rodgers here. I..."
"We cleared everything up this morning, didn't we? What else is there?" he asks, sounding a little annoyed and alluding to the envelope in my breast pocket.
"Sir. Is it possible my assistant Eric was in contact with you?"
"Yes, of course he was, my boy. 50,000 dollars if I terminate the lady's lease without notice. I thought that was what you wanted?"
"It wasn't, sir," I say, mortified, and wonder why he didn't tell me anything this morning.
It probably wasn't intentional; he seemed a bit distracted and was basically just relieved when I picked up the document from him that's now in my jacket pocket.
Besides that, I wonder where Eric got the $50,000.
From the company account? No, that wasn't possible, because I had the IT department block his access immediately. It must have been Jake's money.
"Whatever. The shop is yours anyway," he says, alluding to our meeting this morning. "Do what you want, mister." Then the call ends.
"Veronica. Please. I have to speak with Beth," I plead with her. She's been watching me the whole time I was on the phone. "This has been a huge misunderstanding. My assistant betrayed me. He's behind that notice. He and my competitor."
"Why should I believe a word of that? So far, it's all been nothing but lies," she asks, looking not the least bit convinced.
"I understand," I say and pull the envelope from my jacket, take out the documents, and hold them out to her. "But this is not a lie."
Her eyes dart back and forth, trying to make sense of what's written there. Then she looks at me in silence. I want to ask about Beth again, because I can't think about anything else, because I'm crazy about her and her son and want to make everything right.
"If this is true... then..." she stammers, and I'm incredibly relieved that her features soften a little, but then a cry rings out from upstairs, and it's immediately clear that it's Ben.
"I have to go upstairs. Ben's awake. Beth isn't here," she says, already on her way to the stairs. "She's... she went to your house to find out why you had her evicted and..." Another cry. "I have to go," she says, pointing upstairs. "And please. Don't hurt her anymore."
"I won't," I call after her. I never wanted to hurt Beth. That was never my intention. And it's not this time either.
So she's at my place? We must have just missed each other. I've got to get over there.