Chapter Ten #2
“I assure you it does. It’s one of the things that drew me to you—during and after the first time.
I’ve played with a lot of subs, but none of them…
I’m not sure how to put it…feel it the way you do.
You fight it, I can tell, but it’s such an integral part of you, making you come alive, and that’s a beautiful thing to witness. ”
My heart tries to break down the walls of my chest. I’ve never had someone say something like that to me, someone see inside me like he does.
I’ve played with quite a few Doms too. I don’t know if I’d say a lot, but I have my fair share of experience, and none of them tried to learn me the way Sir does.
They didn’t ask me questions either. “I…thank you, Sir.”
“You’re very welcome. How was your evening?”
How was my evening? I thought the point of this phone call was to take the choice and questions out of my head and give me a plan. “Fine…yours?”
“I worked for a few hours at the shop with Han.”
“I don’t know who that is or what kind of shop.”
“Hannah is my best friend. She’s my person in most ways.”
I shift uncomfortably. I know Colton is bisexual. Is he in love with this Hannah person?
He continues, “She’s a mechanic and owns her shop. I work with her—full-time before I started at Peyton U, but part-time now. We worked until eight and had dinner together.”
Discomfort settles deeper in my gut, but I try to ignore it. I have no reason to feel that way.
“How are the kids?” he asks, surprising me, before I remember that I told him about them. I’m still not sure how I feel about that.
“Hate me as much as ever,” I reply, though I’m not sure Sadie does. She’s just young and scared and doesn’t know what to think.
“I’m sure they don’t hate you. You may think they do, and they may think they do, but they don’t. I don’t know the details, but it sounds like you’ve all been through some traumatic experiences, and you’re just trying to find your footing.”
“That’s easy for you to say.”
“True. I get that I’m not the one experiencing it, James.”
I immediately feel like a dick. He’s been nothing but nice to me. “Thank you. I’m sorry, Sir.”
“Good boy,” he replies, but I’m not sure what for.
“I looked over your schedule. Unless there’s an emergency, I’d like you to go to bed by ten thirty every night.
Not a minute later, but earlier is okay if you’re tired.
Do you think we can talk every night at nine, or will that be difficult with the kids? ”
“Every night?” I ask, and he chuckles.
“Yes. I want to check in with you daily.”
My pulse beats wildly against my skin. I didn’t expect we would have this much interaction…connection. “Nine should be fine.”
“Good. If something comes up with the kids, text me, and that’s okay. Otherwise, if it has nothing to do with them, I don’t want you to miss my calls. Is that understood?”
Warmth spreads through my gut, and I have to try not to smile. “Yes, Sir. I won’t miss them.”
“I know you won’t. You’ll make me proud,” he praises, and my heels immediately dig into the mattress because I can’t stop my legs from moving. “I know we’re not fucking, but how do you feel about me controlling your orgasms? Is that a limit for you?”
My cock twitches behind my sleep pants, that’s how I feel about it. God, I want it. I didn’t know how much until he asked. “It’s not a limit for me.”
“Good. Then you’re not allowed to come unless I say you can.”
“Can I come tonight?” I find myself asking.
“No. I’d like you to suffer for me a little first. Also, I expect you to eat breakfast every morning. No skipping. I’ll continue to take care of your lunches Monday through Thursday. I’m not in school on Fridays, but you’ll eat or you’ll be punished.”
He’s not in class Fridays? That means last week he came in only to bring me lunch.
“How will you punish me?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know? I have my ways.”
I groan, my dick hard and throbbing in a way I didn’t expect from this conversation, but even more than that, something settles inside my head, in my chest, a feeling of calm I haven’t had in a long time.
“As you know, I don’t have class on Fridays either. Sometimes I’m there working, though.”
“Okay. But lastly, before I let you go for tonight, you have to do at least one thing per week that’s just for you.
It can’t have anything to do with the kids or work.
I don’t care what it is. If you like jogging but rarely make the time to go, pick that.
If you love reading but haven’t picked up a book in months, read a few chapters a week.
If you like baking, then bake some cookies.
It can be anything, really. It just has to be something you enjoy but rarely take the time to do. ”
“Wait. Why do I have to do that?” I ask, then add, “Sir.”
“Because I said so and I’m the boss. I’ll expect you to tell me each week what you do and if you obeyed my rules each day. No lying. I have to be able to trust you, and you can trust me too. I’ll always be truthful with you.”
Somehow, I know he will be. “Okay. Thank you, Sir.”
“You’re very welcome. We’re going to start with this, but I may switch things up or add more as I see fit. If it’s not enough, if there’s something else you realize you need, I expect you to tell me.”
I nod, but then say, “Yes, Sir,” since he can’t see me.
“Good boy. Oh, and if you have any allergies or foods you don’t like, text them to me.”
“I will,” I say, nerves returning. “Wait. Are you sure no one will find out about this? We’ll be okay?”
“You want to keep me your dirty little secret?” he asks playfully.
“You are my dirty little secret.”
“Yeah, I guess I am. I’ll be careful. I promise. Good night, James. Ten thirty at the latest.”
“Good night, Sir.”
As soon as I end the call, I edit the contact, putting in DLS—dirty little secret—for his name.
No one will know what that means except me, and there’s something unexpectedly exciting about that.
I’ve spent so much of my life following the rules, always trying to do the right thing, needing to be perfect to prove that I belong, yes, but also just to survive.
Having Colton as my secret, doing something I know I shouldn’t, it’s a rush I didn’t know I needed.
One I’m not proud of, but there all the same.
I plug my cell in to charge, brush my teeth, turn out the lights, then go to bed.