Chapter Twenty-Three
Colton
I did expect Nash to make the team today, but what I absolutely didn’t expect was for him to invite me over for dinner and for James to be okay with it—which he is because I texted after ending the call with Nash to make sure.
I cancel dinner plans with Han and Tasha—my best friend teasing me about it—then make a quick stop at the store to grab a cake that says Congratulations, on my way to James’s apartment.
It’s a nice building. I use the intercom to be let into the lobby, then take the elevator up to the eleventh floor.
When I step out, I see him there, pacing the hallway, and it’s obvious he’s a ball of nerves.
His stare snags mine, the two of us looking at each other.
He shrugs as if to say, we’re doing this, and I can’t help grinning.
“Hey,” I say when I reach him. “I brought dessert.”
“That was nice of you. Nash is glad you could come.”
“What about you?” I take a step closer. “Are you glad?”
His breath hitches, and he nods. I peek around to make sure we’re alone, then press a quick kiss to his lips. “I missed my boy.”
James rubs his scruffy cheek against mine. “Why do I like it so much when you call me that?”
My heart beats faster. “It doesn’t matter why, just that you do. And I’m glad because I like calling you my boy.”
He shocks me with a quick kiss of his own before stepping away. “I got checked,” he says. “I’m negative—not that we’ll do anything tonight. They can’t know about us. But just so you know.”
“Mmm. You’ve made your Sir very, very happy. Now let’s go inside, celebrate, and maybe, if you’re good and I’m creative, I can still find a way to make you come tonight.”
He grins, his voice husky when he says, “Promise?”
“Absolutely not. Where’s the fun in that?”
James laughs, and damn, do I like the sound. “Fine.”
“Lead the way, brat,” I say, then follow him in. The place is more lived in than the other house, a bench by the door with shoes. He doesn’t have his on, so I take mine off as well.
Nash and Sadie are sitting on stools at the kitchen counter, laptops and schoolbooks in front of them.
“Hey, man!” Nash slides off the stool and heads our way.
“I brought dessert,” I tell him too, showing him the cake and watching his eyes glow, like he’s never been given a gift in his life.
I know that’s not true, know that James would do anything for him and has given him more than he’s probably ever had, but before James, these two really cool kids didn’t have anyone in their lives who cared for them like this.
I’m honored I get to do things for them now.
“That’s fucking awesome. Thank you.”
“Chocolate is his favorite,” Sadie says, having come over too, but lingering closer to James. He puts his arm around her, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. She’s clearly shyer and quieter, but even from talking to James, I can see how the bond between him and her has grown.
“Mine too. What about you? What’s your favorite?” I ask.
“Birthday cake,” Sadie replies.
“Oh, man. I might have to change my answer,” I say, and all three of them laugh. I feel James’s gaze on me the whole time, warm and confused and…happy. I’m glad for that. I’m happy too.
“Okay, let’s get dinner ordered. We wanted to wait until you arrived since I don’t know what you like.” James heads to the counter, where his cell is sitting.
“I’ll eat anything. If it’s food, I’m down,” I reply.
He quirks a brow at me. “You’re down, huh?”
“Sorry, old man. That means I agree to something. I’m good with it.” I wink at him, and he surprises me by flipping me off.
I’m not the only person he surprises because Nash says, “Whoa. Where did that come from?”
“I’m not as…stuffy as you think.” James does the most ridiculous thing and pokes his tongue out at Nash. It’s so cute, so out of character, and it kills me not to be able to walk over to him, pull him close, and suck said tongue.
“I like Canadian bacon and pineapple,” Nash says instead of replying to James.
“That’s…my favorite too,” James admits, the two brothers looking at each other, maybe seeing a little of themselves in their sibling for the first time. It doesn’t matter that it’s something small. It’s a start.
“So you’re both weirdos,” I tease when Nash doesn’t say anything.
“The sweet and savory are good together,” he defends.
“I agree,” James replies.
“Look at you, being so wild in your pizza taste. Who knew?” I joke, and for the second time, he gives me the finger, which I would also like to suck…and my mind really needs to get out of the gutter.
“Sadie likes just cheese,” Nash says.
“I can pick whatever you get off. You don’t have to get something special for me.” She leans into Nash, who’d walked over to stand beside her.
“We’re absolutely getting something special for you.” James smiles her way.
“I’m good with just cheese. I’m on team Sadie for the pizza.”
James claps his hands together. “It’s decided, then.”
He orders while I chat with Nash and Sadie.
“Tell me about today,” I ask him, and he does, rambling on in this way I’ve never seen Nash do.
He’s gotten a lot more talkative with me over the last week, and we’ve talked more about James too, me doing my best to try and open lines of communication between them without coming down too heavy and pushing him away, but right now, he’s beyond talkative; he’s almost giddy when he tells me about making the team and that a couple of the guys he thinks are cool have made it too.
He’s so much like his brother that I don’t know if Nash has ever let himself have friends before now.
He was always so concerned with taking care of Sadie and being responsible that he’s never given himself permission to be a normal kid.
James doesn’t see that he’s giving them that now and it’s a beautiful thing.
When Nash finishes, I make sure he knows how excited for him I am, then tell Sadie, “I hear you started your new art program. James said you really like it. He’s always talking about how cool your art is.”
“Really?” She’s looking at me with big, happy brown eyes that make me feel awfully damn mushy inside. These kids are fucking great. I’m so glad they have James.
“Yep. He talks about both of you all the time.”
“You should show him your art book.” Nash nudges his sister.
“I’ll be right back!” Sadie says, then runs toward the hallway where I figure her room is.
By the time she’s back, James is done ordering the food, and the four of us sit around the table, looking through Sadie’s book.
“You do a lot of people and animals. I draw buildings,” I say.
“You draw?”
“In a different way. I’m going to school to be an architect.
” The second the words pass my lips, I wonder if I said the wrong thing.
My gaze shoots to James, who’s watching me, his expression unreadable for a moment, before he gives a small shrug just for me.
There’s no going back now, but just because they know I am going to school doesn’t mean they know James is my professor.
“Aren’t you too old for college?” Sadie asks.
I bark out a laugh.
She blushes. “I’m sorry!”
“No, it’s fine. I didn’t have the money to go right after high school. Plus, I don’t think I was ready. Some people are right away, but I wasn’t. So I saved up, and now here I am.”
“I want to go to art school,” Sadie shares.
“I think that’s a good choice,” James tells her. “What about you?” he asks Nash, who shrugs.
“I don’t know what I want,” Nash answers, and I’m glad he at least did that.
“You have time to figure it out.” James smiles, and Nash looks at him, still so unsure if he can trust James, but ultimately nods.
The intercom buzzes, interrupting our chat, and James lets the delivery man up while I go into the kitchen. “Do you guys have paper plates?”
“In the pantry over there.” Nash nods toward a door, and I retrieve the plates.
James returns with the two pizzas and sets them on the table while Nash and Sadie ask about drinks and get everyone a soda from the fridge, except for James, who says he wants water.
It’s weird, moving through space like a unit with him and his family. This isn’t something I’ve had with a lover, especially not when kids are involved. If I’ve ever fucked someone with kids before, I didn’t know they had them, and I certainly wasn’t sharing meals with them.
We end up at the table again together, eating, talking, laughing.
This doesn’t feel like the meals James has told me he usually shares with them, though his relationship with Sadie has already been evolving.
There’s a liveliness in James tonight I don’t often see, maybe ever, and it’s hard not to just watch him, not to try and soak it all in.
He laughs at something Sadie says, pure joy on his face, the sound so crisp and real that it nearly steals my breath. This man is so fucking beautiful, so fucking mine. I don’t ever want to let him go.
I want more, yes, but maybe I want it all.
“Colton?” Nash says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“We’re talking about his games,” James fills in for me. “He should get his schedule tomorrow after practice.”
“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Nash says, “but since you helped and—”
“I want,” I answer. I really fucking want to go. But what if James doesn’t want me to? What if someone sees us there together? This is already turning into such a goddamned mess. “I’ll have to check my work schedule, but I’ll do my best to go.”
Letting Nash down isn’t an option, but risking James isn’t either.
“Yeah, sure, whatever. It’s fine if neither of you can go.” Nash stuffs what looks like half a slice of pizza into his mouth.
“I’m going. I won’t miss a single game if I can help it,” James answers, and I swear, despite Nash only giving a quiet thanks, his cheeks turn pink.
We finish dinner, then dive into cake.
“My mom used to tease me about how much Dakota and I ate as teenagers. I didn’t believe her until now.”