CHAPTER THIRTEEN
KAYLEE
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Levi’s nose is stuck in his phone when I board the jet and walk down the aisle the next day. I push back all the emotions threatening to engulf me after spending the night with him.
Rejection.
Self judgment.
Anger.
When I woke up, there was a note on the pillow:
At the gym. What a goodbye. You are amazing. See you back in Philly. L x.
Wow.
Not that I expected a marriage proposal, but waiting for me to wake up, given our situation, would’ve been nice.
I’m not some one-night stand, but that’s how he’s treated me.
Is it more than I deserve?
Maybe.
But frankly, I’m getting over this self-hatred game. If he doesn’t want me, if he can’t forgive me, then he needs to stop with the flirting and eye-fucking.
Ugh.
I rip my eyes away from him and go find some people to sit with for the flight home.
“Hey, where did you disappear to last night, girl?” Jimmy Gage asks from a few seats away. He pats the seat beside him.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Levi lifting his head. It would’ve been easy to sit down, knowing it would irk Levi, but if that really was our last goodbye, then it’s time I accepted it.
Clearly he’s moved on.
Playing games isn’t going to help either of us move forward, so I point down toward the plane. “Early night. Needed to make some calls so...”
Jimmy shrugs.
I plug in my ear buds and close my eyes as the plane takes off, and I listen to my mom’s voice message from last night, updating me on how Dad is.
She’s been doing this a couple of times a week since he was rushed to hospital. Surprising all of us, Dad took the doctor’s orders seriously. He cut out processed foods, reduced his alcohol intake massively, and began doing walks with Mom in the evening.
I joined them once or twice, trying to get Dad to jog. It was kind of cute. I felt like a kid again hanging out with my parents like that.
“I could find you a good gym to join, Dad.”
“Don’t push it, kiddo. This is enough for me. I’m more of an armchair sports guy,” he said, so I left it.
The next message is from Steph.
“I saw the game on TV. Is Levi okay?” she asks. “Anyway, you need to call me. You know that guy at work I told you about? The new manager from England. He’s single. Gah, should I ask him out? You have to ring me as soon as you get back.”
Then I click into my messages and look at the photo.
He is hot.
But he also looks like he’s fully aware of just how handsome he is.
I type her a message.
If he’s not showing any signs of interest, wait for him to notice you. He could be a player.
Then I add:
You know half the guys on the team want to sleep with you, right?
Ten minutes later, my phone beeps with a reply.
Yes, but I don’t want half of America to know I’m fucking one of them. Plus, I’m obsessed with Richard. Message me when you get home.
I smile, then close my eyes.
I really do need a few more hours sleep. Next week is going to be challenging. Levi has an injury and given it’s a low level one, I know Natalie will insist I’m the one giving him treatment.
One of our wide receivers ended up unconscious two games ago and she’s treating him for a neck injury, so Natalie’s time is focused on him.
There might be someone else, but it would appear suspicious if I don’t want to be near Levi. As well as unprofessional.
Tell me you’re okay with us doing this. I mean tonight. When we get back to Philly, we have to go back to being just colleagues.
Sure. Yes.
Was I okay with it? I would have agreed to walk on hot coals, I was so horny and ready to be fucked last night.
Today?
Today I feel...used. Even if I was a willing participant.
The best thing I can do is accept Levi Montgomery is never going to want me the way I do him. He never has. Yes, he’s extremely attracted to me, but nothing more.
There has never been more for him.
I hurt his pride by letting Colby kiss me and he’s made me the evil ex in his mind, but I’m starting to see I wasn’t.
I’m not big enough or strong enough to have stopped Colby. Levi never gave me the opportunity to explain.
He just ghosted me.
That’s not exactly love.
He won’t forgive me, but it doesn’t matter. There was never a future for either of us, and it’s time to face those facts.
I curl up in my seat, roll to the side, and shove my Hawkes sweater under my head. Then drift off.
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LEVI
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Pretty sure if Kaylee had sat next to Jimmy Gage... who I often see checking her out, I would be in handcuffs right now.
She belongs to me.
This is not over.
I’m just not sure how it ever fucking will be.