84. Chapter Fifteen
Reid
Chapter eighty-four
Carrie
The minute I see Cat, I know she’s pregnant. It’s not so much that her belly is bigger. It’s not, or I can’t tell because she’s wearing a red velvet dress that makes it pretty impossible to tell. It’s her face, and her coloring; it’s a gut feeling. I’m immediately relieved that we came home for Christmas. Reid needs to be here for this. He needs to mend fully with his sister.
Cat is, as always, warm and wonderful, greeting me with a smile and lots of joy. The five of us: me, Reid, Gabe, Cat and Reese, gather around the Christmas tree in the front room that is oval and surrounded by windows. The massive tree at the end of the room along with the windows is stunning and the collection of random holiday ornaments makes me want to get more creative next year.
The men all peel away their jackets and everyone but Cat nurses a glass of champagne.
“So, it’s really over?” Cat asks when the two of us huddle up on an oversized chair that easily fits us both. “The war between our families is no more?”
“Let’s hope,” I say. “It seems to be.”
“But what do you think? What do you feel?”
“It’s over,” I say. “I think it really is though I fear our wedding will stir new trouble. I want to elope.”
“Is that what you want? Or is that what they’re forcing on you?”
“I just want to marry the love of my life.”
She smiles. “I love that he’s the love of your life.” She sobers quickly. “I know there’s something that caused him to pull back from me. He told me there was. I’m not asking what it is, but do you know?”
“Yes. I do. And it was bad. I don’t know if he can tell you, but I know why it affected him like it did.”
Her expression tightens and she squeezes my hand. “I’m so glad he told you. That’s enough for me.”
Reese appears in front of us, looking very tall, dark and good looking as usual with his shirt sleeves rolled up. He offers Cat his hand. “Shall we?”
She smiles. “Yes. We shall.” He pulls her to her feet and under his arms. “Everyone,” he says. “We have an announcement.”
Reid joins me and sits down next to me, kissing me before he turns his attention back to Cat and Reese. I love that he has to kiss me just to kiss me. “We,” Cat says, and then looks at Reese. “You say it.”
He pulls her in front of him and presses his hand to her belly. “We’re pregnant.”
I clap while Gabe holds up his glass. “To a new baby Maxwell.”
Reid stands up. “As in a baby?” He runs his hands through his hair. “When? Have you been to the doctor?”
“Of course I’ve been to the doctor,” Cat says. “We don’t know the sex yet but—”
“And you’re okay so far?” Reid asks.
I stand up and take his hand. “She’s perfect, Reid,” I say turning him around to face me. “And she’ll stay perfect. Reese will make sure of it.”
“Right.” He runs his hand along the back of his neck this time. “You’re happy?” he asks Cat and Reese.
“Yes,” Cat says. “Very.”
“Very,” Reese agrees.
Reid gives a nod and I force him to look at me. “Let’s get some air, yes?”
He kisses me. “I need to talk to Cat.” He looks at his sister. “You got a minute?”
“Of course,” she says, and I’m relieved when he crosses and stops in front of Reese. “This isn’t about the baby. I’m happy for you. You’re a relief.”
Reese arches a brow. “A relief?”
“I’ll let Cat explain later,” he says, stepping around Reese and closer to his sister. “Where can we talk?”
“It’s a little cold outside,” she says. “How about the kitchen?”
He gives a stiff nod and they disappear down a hallway, my heart squeezing as they do. “What the fuck was that?” Gabe asks with both him and Reese staring at me.
“He’s wanted to make peace with Cat,” I say. “I think the baby just has him realizing that if he doesn’t, he misses out on really being a part of her life, and now her child’s life.”
Reese’s eyes meet mine. “He’s hurt her. Deeply.”
“I know that,” she says. “He knows that, but he wants her to forgive him. I hope you can as well.”
“Well in the meantime, those of us who can drink,” Gabe says, “should drink. Just in case they come back looking like they were in the octagon. We are siblings and siblings know how to fight.”
And love, I think silently. Reid knows how to love. He just has to show Cat.
Cat and I enter the kitchen and she hurries to the far side of the island, placing it between us. I allow her that wall because she earned it putting up with me. “This is going to get heavy. You sure you’re up to that?”
“I’m pregnant, not sick.”
“Right. I know that. I’m already fucking up, right?”
“You’re not,” she says. “I just wish you’d have acted happy for me.”
“I am happy for you. Really, I am. I just—had this moment of thinking of yet another person I’m going to worry about.”
“Is that how you feel about Carrie?”
“I worry about her every second of every day, and there are times that I still think I need to let her go just to protect her. It’s a mental block, but she’s helping me get by it. You have, too, even without knowing what it is that affects me.”
“Are you going to tell me?”
“Yes, Cat, I am. When I was in college, I was going to break up with the girl I was dating. She was a fuck buddy to me and I knew she was really into me. It wasn’t fair. I knew that. The very night I was going to tell her—fuck.” I look away, certain she’s going to see nothing but the asshole fucking a woman who loved him.
Cat rounds the island but I don’t look at her. “She’s dead, isn’t she?”
I inhale and breathe out, and damn it hurts. “Yes. Cat. She’s dead.”
“Did she kill herself?”
“No. The guy who robbed the convenience store we were in fired at me and she flung herself in front of me.”
She gasps. “Oh God. Oh God. The blame you must feel. The blame must—”
“Yeah. It sucks. I pushed everyone away. You especially, because damn, Cat, you’re like her. You’re so fucking selfless that if you were with anyone but Reese, I’d probably be breathing down the bastard’s throat. He loves you. I see that.”
Tears well in her eyes and she flings her arms around me, hugging with all her might and I hug her back, burying my head in her hair. “I love you,” I murmur.
She pulls back to look at me. “I love you, too, Reid. Don’t you push me or Carrie away again. She’s good for you.”
“I don’t deserve her. I so fucking don’t deserve her. She’s too good for me but I can’t seem to let her go. I’m just going to have to find a way to deserve her.”
“Then stop being an asshole,” Carrie teases from the door. “Or not. It’s become endearing.” She crosses the room and suddenly I have my sister, and my future wife both hugging me, and I can feel all those old wounds shrinking. They aren’t gone. Maybe they’ll never be gone, but they’re not winning anymore.