87. Chapter Eighteen
Carrie
Chapter eighty-seven
Reid
Iknow that some part of me is reacting to events that have nothing to do with Carrie, and everything to do with other things. I’m pushing her, pushing her away, and that’s not what I want.
The minute Carrie is on her knees, naked and willingly submissive, I’m on one knee in front of her. “I’m not afraid of you, Reid Maxwell,” she declares, her voice thick with emotion.
I tangle my fingers into the silky strands of her hair and drag her mouth a breath from mine, breathing her in, her naked body pressed to mine. “I don’t want you to be afraid. That’s the point.”
“You’re the one who’s afraid,” she accuses, “and I no longer accept that from you.”
“Of your fear. Of you holding back. Of you not trusting me.”
“You have all of me. My God, Reid. You have all of me. I have nothing else to give.”
She’s wrong. She does. She just doesn’t know it and I can’t help myself. I’m going to take it tonight. Where I didn’t want trust from anyone before her, I have to have it with Carrie. Trust is the ultimate commitment, almost more so than love which is why I never wanted it from anyone, except her. Now I want it from her in a way that I cannot even understand. As if her willingness to trust me makes me worthy of it and her.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Whatever you want from me, Reid, you can have it.”
“More, Carrie. And when you walk down that aisle, every part of you will be there with me.”
“Show me what that means.”
“My God, woman, what are you doing to me?” I demand, my mouth crashing down on hers.
And just like every moment when I’m with her, when I’m touching her, I can’t remember why taking what she offers is a problem. I can’t remember anything but how much this woman consumes me, how much I need her. How much I can’t live without her.
My tongue strokes against hers, caressing, taking, drinking in the taste of her, all sweet with submission and ripe with demand, one part willing woman, two parts challenge. I know I’ll never fully control her, and that scares the hell out of me. I can’t protect what I can’t control and yet she’s perfect as she is, everything I need and want.
I tear my mouth from hers, breathing her in.
“What don’t I know that you still haven’t told me?” she whispers. “Where are you right now, Reid?”
“I’m right here, baby, with you.” My hands go to her arms, my gaze sweeps over her high, full breasts and return to her face, challenging her, “Do you know what I want, Carrie?”
“It’s not what you want, now is it? It’s what you need. What do you need?”
“Everything and I’m not sure that will be enough.” I lean in and kiss her again, and even as I demand control, it would be so damn easy to let go right now, to just fuck her, love her, get lost in her because that’s what this woman does for me, but I meant what I said. When she walks down that aisle she will be all mine, every last part of her, inside and out.
I tear my mouth from hers. “Ease all the way down, baby. Relax into the rug.”
She leans into me and kisses me. “I will do anything for you and with you, Reid Maxwell. Husband. You’re going to be my husband. That’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s what I dreamed of, not a dress or a big wedding.”
“And it is, Carrie. I won’t ever hurt you. Ever. I will always protect you. And this, tonight, is about pleasure. Only pleasure.”
“I know that,” she whispers, her hands sliding down my chest, over my hips, to settle on her knees as she sinks into her heels. “Now what are you going to do with me?”
He reaches behind him and pulls a pair handcuffs from his pocket, dangling them in front of me. “I want you to trust me.” His voice is hard with demand, and erotic promise.
Nerves rip through me. I inhale and let air trickle from my lips, my gaze lingering on those cuffs.
“Carrie,” Reid prods softly, that tenderness back in his voice.
My gaze lifts from where it’s fallen to the cuffs, and the concern in his face echoes what I keep thinking in my head: Reid would never hurt me.
“I’m good,” I say, answering his silent question. “We’re good. Do it.”
“The cuffs are harsh on your skin.” He tosses them and reaches behind him again, this time producing a sash.
I don’t ask how he knows the cuffs are harsh, but I think it in my head. How many women has he cuffed? I’ve never asked about his sexual past. He leans in and his hand settles on my face. “I didn’t come to you a virgin or abstinent, Carrie. You know that.”
“I know.”
“All that I am, is right here with you now. Think about here, now, us. Because everything else was about ending up here. Okay?”
Emotions well inside me at the rough, affected way he says those words. “Tie me up already.”
He kisses me, his tongue licking into my mouth, and I can taste his hunger, his need, his torment, and I want that torment to go away. He pulls back and those blue eyes find mine, his expression shifting from tender to hot and then dominant again.
His gaze lowers, rakes over my body, lingering on my breasts, and I swear I can feel that look like a touch, that tingles along my nerve endings and raises goosebumps on my skin. My sex clenches. My nipples tighten into hard, nearly painful knots, and I burn for his hands on my body, his mouth everywhere I can possibly feel it.
“Hands out, fingers laced together,” he commands.
There is expectation in his stare, an expectation that I am hesitant to resist. I see it in the depth of his eyes. I see it in the hard lines of his face and harder set of his jaw. I do not give him what he expects. I give him what he wants, what this night and this man command. He doesn’t react, his expression indiscernible. He doesn’t hesitate either. Without preamble, he wraps the silk around my wrists and then further upward to bind my hands before he ties it off and I am officially at his mercy. I am officially more aroused than I’ve been in my entire life because I know that this man has dirty on his mind, the kind of dirty I’ve never experienced, that we’ve never experienced.
His hand grips my bound wrists. “I can do anything to you now, and you can’t stop me.”
“Are you trying to scare me? Because it’s not working.”
“No, baby. Fear is the last thing I want from you. Trust is what I want.” His lips quirk. “And a little begging cannot be ruled out as a necessity.”
“Just remember, I’ll pay you back for every way you tease me tonight.”
He leans in, his cheek at my cheek, his lips at my ear. “I look forward to my punishment, but yours comes first.”