Chapter one hundred eighteen
Carrie
Ican’t even pace. I’m in my dress, ordered not to move, and waiting for Cat to come back to my holding room after giving Reid his mother’s letter. I turn and stare at myself in the mirror, my hair now a silky brown veil of beautiful waves the stylist created. The dress—it’s perfection. The sheer sleeves, the sheer bottom, the etched flowers in the center. It’s everything a girl could dream about in a wedding dress. Even the vee of the bodice is sexy but now altered to cover me fully for the group setting.
My cellphone buzzes with a text and I grab it from my purse that’s on a chair I’m not allowed to sit on. It’s from Reid, and it reads: I read the letter from my mother and all I could think was that I want to talk to you, which tells me I’m marrying my best friend. So hurry the hell up and come marry me already.
My heart swells with love for this man. I reply with: From enemies to best friends. That’s pretty perfect.
His reply: You were never my enemy. You were always the woman I was falling in love with. Come to me, baby.
My reply: I’m on my way.
I stuff my phone back in my purse and Mia is standing in front of me. “That was him, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. How did you know?”
“You glow when you talk to him the way I do when it’s Grayson. I love that man so much.” Her eyes tear up. “We almost lost each other. You and Reid and your love only drive home how lucky I am to have found Grayson again. We were apart a year.”
“I’m glad we found you as friends,” I say. “I really am. And you’re going to make me cry.”
The door burst open and Cat appears. “It’s time,” she says. “And sorry. The baby wanted me to throw up after that emotional moment with Reid over the letter. He tried to call you,” she adds, shutting us back in the room. “I told him that wasn’t an option. It’s bad luck.”
“He texted me.”
“Oh good Lord. The minute I left the room. Are you ready?”
Nerves explode in my stomach. “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.”
“He feels the same.”
Another knock sounds on the door and my father enters, looking handsome in a tuxedo with a white tie to match the lilies. “Oh, honey,” he whispers. “You look stunning. That dress.”
“Thank you, dad. I’m so glad you’re here.”
He hurries forward and hugs me. “You ready?”
“No!” Mia says. “You need something old, new, borrowed and blue. Check down the list with me?”
I hold up my fingers and show her the star ring. “New. I have the necklace that Cat gave me as borrowed, but nothing old or blue.”
My father reaches in his pocket and produces a tiny bracelet. “Your first piece of jewelry when you were two.”
“You still have that?” I ask, feeling emotional all over again.
“Of course I do,” he says.
“It’s perfect,” Mia says as he presses it in my hand.
Cat offers me a safety pin. “I’m practicing my mom skills. I keep everything you can think of with me. You can pin it in your bodice.”
“And here’s a blue ribbon,” Mia says. “I brought it just in case. You can pin it, too.”
“Why is blue good luck?” I ask.
“Who knows,” Mia replies. “Just go with it.”
I laugh and pin my lucky items inside my dress. “Yes. Let’s just go with it.”
A knock sounds and Cat opens the door. “Yes,” I hear her say. “Yes, we’re coming.”
She turns to me. “It’s time for sure now. Let’s go make you family.”
The letter about destroyed me.
Losing my mother about destroyed me.
Loving Carrie is what healed me.
I stand waiting on her in a room filled with white lilies and roses, a swell of a hundred people from a planned smaller group now surrounding me all in rows of chairs that part for Carrie’s walk to the front. Behind me is the ice rink, the Christmas tree, and all of Rockefeller Center. The piano is playing random romantic tunes, but after reading that letter, I asked to have a song that I chose. Gabe rushes to my side. “Done, man. It’s going to play as soon as she enters the room.” I give him a nod, our version of thank you. Carrie’s father enters the room and walks in my direction. Once he’s in front of me, he says, “I’m going to walk her to you, and you’re going to protect her for the rest of her life. Understand?”
“She’s a part of me,” I say. “I will always protect her.”
He studies me a moment and then offers me his hand, which is a moment I never thought I’d experience. I accept his hand and we give a firm shake. He then nods and walks away. I track his path, aware that his return is Carrie’s entrance. My heart starts to race. Holy fuck, my heart is about to explode from my chest. I’m never like this. I inhale a deep breath as Carrie’s father disappears into the hallway. Another breath and the music starts, my song choice: You Say by Lauren Daigle, which makes me think of me with Carrie every time I hear it. The first line is everything I’ve ever felt with this woman: I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough.
It keeps playing and she appears in the doorway, an angel in white who says I am enough, stunningly gorgeous, the love of my life, my best friend. She pauses at the door, and I know she’s listening to the song.
The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity
She starts walking toward me and I swear I can’t breathe. One step, two, ten. She’s closer and when she stops in front of me and we face each other. The song’s next words are perfection: Taking all I have and now I'm laying it at Your feet.
Tears pool in Carrie’s eyes and I pull her to me and kiss her, my cheek pressed to hers, lips at her ear. “I have never needed anyone like I need you. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
The song ends and the preacher clears his throat.
I listen to his words, but I don’t see the people in the room. I just see Carrie, the woman who has changed my life. No one else exists. “Reid,” the preacher says. “Repeat after me: I, Reid Maxwell,”
“I, Reid Maxwell.”
“Take you, Carrie West, to be my lawfully wedded wife.”
“Take you, Carrie West, to be my lawfully wedded wife.” I don’t wait for him to feed me the rest of the vows. I fill them in. “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance, and thereto I pledge myself to you.”
Carrie’s eyes light with the same love, that I know shines in my eyes. The preacher turns to her. “Repeat after me, Carrie. I, Carrie West take you, Reid Maxwell, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance, and thereto I pledge myself to you.” Carrie repeats the words.
“Well then,” the preacher says. “I now pronounce you man and wife. Reid, you may kiss your bride.”
I pull Carrie to me and my mouth closes down on hers, and this kiss is all about love, so much love that I feel for this woman, and I feel it to my soul. I feel her in my soul and when I pull back, the room applauds and we smile.
“Join hands and face forward,” the preacher orders.
We do as he says and he announces, “I now present you with Reid and Carrie Maxwell.”