Chapter 31 #2
“Course you didn’t. I don’t see the issue, though. We’re allowed to make changes before parc fermé?” My dad goes to interject, but I stop him. “You know what, I suggest you get down to briefing now and speak to Glenn.” I cut the phone off and look down at Cowan.
“Hope you’re up for it, mate. We’re both starting from the pits tomorrow,” I scoff, shaking my head again as I walk towards the door. “Fuck this, man.” I push the door with force and wince when it hits the wall.
Cowan is behind me, just as wound up as me. “What the fuck?” He walks towards me, hands up in surrender.
“I have no idea,” I whisper, my voice cracking. I pace, hand curling around the back of my neck as I squeeze the tension that is rapidly growing. “We’re fucked.” I look down at my race boots, I’m still pacing back and forth.
“Royce, Cowan,” my dad’s voice booms down the corridor, and we both look up at him. “I’ll go to the stewards, see what the deal is.”
“There is no point.” Cowan sighs, his eyes on me.
“They’ve made the decision, they’re not going to overturn it,” I say deadpan. “He should have never touched the power unit.”
My dad glares at me. “Power unit?” he asks and I nod.
“This is what it’s about, no?”
“No, the problem was with the drag reduction system. Both of the flaps on the rear wing were found to opened beyond the regulations.”
I face palm myself.
“I’m still going to try and get it sorted.” My dad’s optimism kills me.
“It won’t make a difference, it’s done. We’re fucked.”
“You don’t know that,” my dad snipes.
I roll my eyes. “Okay, good luck with that.” I pat him on the chest as I begin walking towards Nora and Edel, who are both hovering.
“Royce,” Nora whispers, her eyes wide.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I shut her down and she sighs.
“Well, it’s all that they’re going to be talking about in press.”
Edel is behind us, talking softly to Cowan. I gaze my eyes over my shoulder; she’s holding her phone and the recorder.
Edel has been working for Saint Onyx for a few weeks now.
Nora heard she was made redundant from her PR job, so Nora thought she would be the perfect fit.
I think deep down Nora wanted Ana?s, but what with her being with my dad, it can get messy.
She still runs our social media but has taken a step back over last month or so.
“Royce, I need you to keep calm.” Nora stops me from walking through the next set of doors, and I can see the worry in her eyes.
“I am calm.” Sarcasm drips from my tone as I force a smile onto my face.
“If you go in there and blow your top, you’re only going to make this so much worse for the team and yourself.”
“Fuck the team.” I edge my face closer to her.
“We told them not to touch the fucking car, told them to just do their tweaks, if need be, but make it minimal. And what did they do? Fuck with the whole power unit and for what? To ruin it for us. And to make matters worse, our DRS flaps were open, that’s what we’ve been disqualified for! ” I grit my teeth.
“So no, Nora, I won’t fucking calm down.
I am sick and fucking tired of people not listening.
This is about me, me,” I snarl, “and my future. I don’t give a fuck about the team or him.
” My finger jabs towards Cowan. “I only care about me!” My voice has broken past calm, it’s loud and bounces off the walls.
“Royce.” Athena’s voice floats towards me as I turn to look at her, and just for a moment, the anger that is bubbling so close to the surface begins to simmer.
She moves towards me, cupping my face as she holds me so I have no other option but to look at her. “It’ll be okay, your dad will sort it, you’ll be put back in your position.”
I snort a laugh, batting my eyes down.
“It’ll work out.” Her optimism makes my stomach coil, the rage climbing up my throat.
Letting my eyes settle on her calmly, I spot she is still smiling at me, a softness to her eyes that would normally calm me down.
“This isn’t one of your silly romance books, Athena.” My words are slow and vicious, my lip curling as I snarl. “This is the real world. You can’t just magic up words and make everything okay.” The words taste bitter on my tongue, my heart banging in my chest, the blood thrashing in my ears.
“Go home,” I growl, gripping her wrist and dragging her hands from my face. “And I mean home. I’m done with all of this. It’s over.” I wave my hand in the air and push through the doors ready to obliterate my next victims.
Pushing through the door of my private room, it takes me a moment to realise why Athena isn’t here.
“Fuck it,” I grunt, kicking off my boots.
Pulling my suit from me, I undress and walk for the shower. I needed to wash this cunt of a day off me, and that includes Athena. I scrub my skin until it is red raw before I dress in jeans and my oversized tee. Covering my eyes with my team flat cap, I grab my bag and phone and walk to my car.
I climb into the driver’s side of my Lamborghini Urus. Kai slips in next to me and I throw him a look.
“Fuck off,” I spit as I start the engine.
“Drive,” he orders me and I grind my back teeth.
“I’m in no mood.” I turn to look at him. “I suggest you get out the fucking car.”
“No chance,” he replies, a stupid smirk on his lips.
“Kai, I mean it, don’t push me. I am about to explode.” I exhale a slow, deep breath.
“About to?” He chuckles, strapping himself in. “Mate, you already did.”
I tighten my fingers around the steering wheel.
“You’re all everyone is talking about.” He scoffs. “I mean, they would have been speaking about the team, but no, angry little Royce had to put on a spectacular show.”
“Fuck off, Kai.” My voice is low, pressing my foot on the accelerator as the engine growls beneath us.
“No can do, my man. Drive the fucking car.”
With a defeated sigh, I push the car into drive and wheelspin out of the carpark. The car journey is literally five minutes in, if that, when Kai pipes up.
“Want to speak about it?”
“Kai,” I spit his name out.
“Okay, okay.” He holds his hands up. Silence screams around the car. “What about now?”
“Oh my God, Kai!” I shout at him and he chuckles.
I feel the corner of my lip curl. My chest aches, but maybe this was for the best after all.
Tossing the keys to the valet, I drag my sorry ass up the stairs of the hotel and walk past the desk. Kai is hot on my heels. “What are you doing now?” He bounds up beside me, and he is like a lost puppy.
“No idea,” I grunt, “but I’m not really in the mood for company.”
“I know you’re not.” He presses the button for the lift. “But I don’t think you should be alone, either.”
I turn to look at him, my eyes soften. There is so much I could say, but I just give a subtle nod. We ride the lift in silence, and I am grateful to be tucked behind the door of my suite.
“I don’t know about you, but I need a drink,” he calls out. “Oh wait, I can’t, I need to drive at two hundred miles an hour tomorrow.”
I scoff as I dump the bag by the sofa and walk towards the floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the track.
“Do you want a coffee?” His voice echoes in the suite, and I hold my thumb up.
Looking around, all of her stuff is gone. I did a good job of fucking that up.
Maybe it needed to happen. We tried. I can’t cope with a relationship whilst I am working. It doesn’t mix well. Like oil and water, desperately trying to stay together but eventually, one of us sinks.
The hollow ache in my chest doesn’t help, it’s like a constant reminder of her. Nora was right. I should never have crossed the line; this is exactly the reason she put a contract into place.
Shaking my head at my thoughts, I jump when Kai grips my shoulder and passes me a black coffee.
“I can’t wait for summer break,” I mutter, curling my fingers around the mug.
“What are you thinking of doing?” he asks.
I shrug. “Not sure now. I wanted to take Athena away somewhere but…” I trail off and I feel nausea swirl in my stomach.
“Me and a few of the boys are going away to Marbella if you fancy it?” His eyes burn into mine
“When you leaving?”
“August first.”
I consider it for a moment before I think fuck it. “Count me in.”
I’m sitting alone with my thoughts. Kai left a couple of hours ago after I promised him that I was okay. We ate dinner, watched the highlights—which were focused on my outburst— and then I told him I needed to sleep the mood off.
Now, it’s past midnight and I am wired. And not in a good way.
I debate messaging Dane. A late-night work out normally helps, but I fear that even that won’t do a thing. Letting my head fall back, I finally reach for my phone and turn it on. I turned it off after the press meeting. It takes a minute to load up, but once it does, the notifications ping in.
I scowl at the drivers’ chat. There are only a few of us in there and I am kind of dreading reading their messages. There’s multiple notifications from Nora and my dad, I scoff when I see Ana?s name a few times.
“Fuck,” I sigh, clicking on the group chat.
Arden RedForce
Holy shit balls… Royce… what the hell man?
Ajax Ruinous
You blew up, are you good?
Kai Ex
He’ll be fine. I’ll go find him after press.
Cowan – Prick
Man, I know we don’t see eye to eye… but I hope you’re okay. Always here if you want to talk.
Kai Ex
Back off man, he is mine.
Griffin Montcroix
Marques Montcroix
Double disqualification dudes, that sucks.
Cowan – Prick
Yeah, it does, but it’s fine, we can win from the pits.
Arden RedForce
Ajax Ruinous
Wilde Ruinous
Marques Montcroix
Kai Ex
That’s the spirit man, ignore those jackasses.
Kai Ex
Just left Royce’s apartment, we have another joining us in Marbella.
Arden RedForce
Lads lads lads!
Wilde Ruinous
Great! Let’s get T-shirts made.
Cowan – Prick
No chance.
Kai Ex
Yes! T-shirts. Love that idea, Wilde!
I roll my eyes and come out of the chat. Scrolling, I find her name and my breath catches at the back of my throat. I hover my thumb over it, in two minds whether I should message her or not. My heart is screaming yes, my brain is telling me no.
I flipped out at her, humiliated her in front of her friend. Belittled her… and fuck if that doesn’t gut me. Inhaling sharply, my chest tightens and I feel as if a knife has pierced into my windpipe.
“You’re fine,” I repeat out loud, squeezing my phone in my palm. “Fuck.” Forcing my eyes shut, I focus on my breathing. It’s just one those episodes like before.
Rubbing my palm against my chest, I try to alleviate the pain. After a few minutes, it begins to dull. My heart rate eases as my breaths slow.
Pushing from the sofa, I storm into my bedroom, slamming the door in hopes my body will pass out and take me out of this nightmare, if only for a moment.