Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
Athena
Curled up in my small home, I stare at the collection of snow globes. They once brought me peace, whereas now, they’re tarnished with him.
My phone buzzes and I look at it, lips turned down. I’m not the kind of girl that sits and self wallows over a man. Then again, I have never felt like this before. I’m mad at myself.
I should be upset about my book deal falling through and my agent putting a pin in whatever this was I was doing. I am sad, but not as sad as I am about Royce.
I let myself get consumed by a fantasy. Let myself fall in love with a fictional world I was putting into paper but somehow, writing it into real life.
Edel’s name is flashing on my screen. Letting it ring off; I make a note to call her back. She calls again. My brows furrow.
With a heavy sigh, I answer. “What?”
“Oh, hello to you too.” I can tell she’s smiling.
“I’m in no mood.”
“Well, that’s about to change.” Her voice trails off as I hear a knock at the door.
Dropping the phone onto the sofa, I pull myself out of my armchair and look down at my attire. I’m dressed in pyjama bottoms with croissants dotted over and an oversized jumper. My hair is scraped on top of my head. I look a mess.
Looking through the peep hole, I see Edel, Nora, and Ana?s. My brows furrow as I unlock the door and let them in.
Nora looks around the cramped space. It’s not much I know, but it’s home. They follow me through to the living room and I slump back down in the armchair.
“Get up.” Ana?s claps her hands together.
“No, thank you,” I mutter, turning my face away. I was so immature.
“Get up,” Edel says this time a little sterner.
“Why?” I pout.
“Because we’re going out. You’ve sat and festered for far too long.” Edel walks towards me, cupping me under my arms and yanking me up. Her eyes are level with mine.
“Yes, I get you’re hurt. It’s been blow after blow.” She sighs, her hands on the top of my arms. “But you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Fuck Maria, you don’t need her.”
I go to speak but she shakes her head.
“Look at your followers, you have a great team around you who can help push this book out there. I believe in you, Athena, and I believe that Opal Bloom is going to make an epic come back. When she does, Maria is going to be wishing she kept you on.”
I swallow.
“Also,” Ana?s pipes up, “Royce is bloody miserable.”
Nora nods. “He really is.” She looks to Ana?s and Edel. “He lost his winning streak as well today.”
My heart stills for a moment. I couldn’t face watching him race. “Oh,” I say; it’s all I manage, looking down at the floor.
“Mm,” Nora says, her eyes flicking back around the room once more.
“Shower.” Edel points up the stairs, tugging on the sleeve of my jumper and I stamp my foot. “Oh, grow up, Athena,” she grumbles, pulling onto me again and I give in. I would never win against her anyway.
Clipping half my hair up, I am dressed in jeans and a tight-fitting tee. The girls are taking me for dinner at a local Chinese and I am eternally grateful. I haven’t eaten since the day Royce told me to go home. His cruel words circle my head on repeat.
“This is the real world. You can’t just magic up words and make everything okay.”
“Go home.”
“And I mean home. I’m done with all of this. It’s over.”
It’s over.
It’s. Over.
My heart weeps inside my chest and I place my palm over it to make sure it’s still beating. He tore me up in a way I never expected. We were good but this was the problem, we were so new to all of this, living in each other’s pockets. Neither of us knew how to deal with an issue like this.
Sighing, I spray my perfume and reluctantly make my way downstairs where the girls are waiting for me.
“Look at you,” Nora cat calls and I blush.
“Stop.” I wave her off, and Edel laughs; Ana?s is texting on her phone.
“Ready?” Edel asks, walking towards me as she links her arm through mine.
“Not really,” I admit, grabbing my keys from the small hook by the door and waiting on the pavement for Ana?s and Nora.
“I want to know who Nora’s mystery man is,” Ana?s pipes up and Nora’s cheeks burn red.
Edel looks at me and I shrug.
“What are you going on about?” Nora laughs and my eyes ping pong between the two girls.
“You know what I am on about.” Ana?s points her fork at her best friend.
“I really don’t.” She shakes her head.
“Whatever then.” Ana?s sighs, stabbing her fork into a dumpling and biting half of it.
“So…” I try and change the subject. “Any jobs going at Saint Onyx?” I half laugh, half sigh.
“Not at the moment.” Nora gives me a sad look. “But you don’t need a job, because like Edel said, we’ve got your back.”
Ana?s nods. “I’ve been on your social media posting about your upcoming book.”
“There is no book.” My voice quivers and I feel Edel’s hand slide over mine.
“There is, it’s sitting on your laptop nearly finished,” Ana?s pipes up, tapping on her phone. “Plus, Rue wants to buy quite a few for her shop.”
I love the enthusiasm.
“I can’t afford to do this on my own. I was hoping to get an advance from the publisher but that won’t happen now.”
“I’m sure we can manage.” Ana?s winks.
I know what she is referring to. I don’t want her to lend me money. That’s not what this is about. Well, sort of, but… that was my dream; to be picked up by a publisher and have my book stocked in stores around the world. Now, my dream is slipping further out of my grasp.
Silence fills the table; no one knows what to say.
“Thanks for doing this, girls,” I whisper, pushing my noodles around my plate.
“Of course.” Nora gives me a warm smile. “Have you heard from Royce at all?” She swoops in with the question and I shake my head.
“I don’t expect to, either. When I was looking into him I heard he was very stubborn and once his mind is made up then…” I wince. Three days ago, I was imagining my future with Royce, and now I am sitting in a small Chinese restaurant with three friends and no Royce.
“Not that I am making him right,” Ana?s mutters “but he doesn’t mean anything when he is angry. It’s like he has no control over what comes out of his mouth.”
“Not really an excuse, though.” Edel raises a brow and Ana?s nods.
“Oh no, totally.” She laughs. “I’m just saying, he seems to take it out on the ones that mean the most to him. That’s when you know he’s a goner.”
I swallow.
“But honestly,” Nora says, taking over, “I have never seen Royce look at anyone else the way he looks at you. It’s like you’re his entirety.”
My heart jackhammers in my chest.
“He never looked at me like that,” Ana?s says.
I always forget they dated. I would never have put the two of them together.
“I think I could have loved him,” I whisper into my lap because saying the words out loud is too painful.
“I truly believe you’re both meant to be together.” Ana?s’s voice is soft.
“Maybe.” I shrug, because how can I tell them that this is well and truly over?
We eat in silence when Ana?s pipes up again. “Oh!” she says a little too excited. “Guess who Kai is dating?”
The sound of a fork hitting a china plate has us all looking at Nora. Ana?s dusts her hands, a proud smile on her face as she giggles softly.
“Gotcha.”
We walk back to my house, soft chatter flowing between the four of us.
“Do you have to leave tonight?” I try my luck again at getting the three of them to stay over.
“Sadly, yes.” Nora sighs. “Plus, we don’t have anywhere to sleep.”
“That is true.” I hum, climbing the three steps to my house.
Fiddling for my keys, my brows furrow when I see the glow from my living room. I didn’t leave a light on. I glance over my shoulder, the three girls stand there smiling like cheshire cats and my heart throbs in my chest.
“Girls what—” I stumble over my words as Edel tells me go inside.
I blink at her, brows furrowed but she ushers me in. Ana?s and Nora have silly grins on their faces.
Nerves rattle around as I slide my key into the lock and find it open. Pushing through the door, the sound of Lucky by Dermot Kennedy croons through the speakers as I walk into my living room and see Royce standing there.
Over a hundred roses fill the small space, and between each of the vases, a new snow globe is sat. I blink, around the room, soft glows from the candles catching my attention. Finally, I let my eyes land on him.
Messy ink black hair. Gorgeous blue eyes that have a shimmer to them. White oversized tee and his jeans.
“Royce…” I whisper.
He shakes his head and holds his hand out for me. I slip mine into his palm as he pulls me towards him, his glassy blues settling on mine.
“Sorry will never be enough,” he rasps over the quiet music.
“I should never have treated you that way, lucky. Should never have pushed you away from me. I was stupid, I messed up.” He falls to his knees in front of me, his head tilting back, large hands circling my waist as he holds onto me tightly.
“I would give up all of this, the money, the races, the dream I once had…” He chokes. “I would give it all up, because you, baby, you’re it. You’re all I want, all I need… you’re my new dream, Athena.”
Tears spring into my eyes, and I feel the wetness trail down my cheek.
“I wish I could go back and do things differently, starting with the first time I saw you.”
My breath shudders on my intake.
“I would tell you that you were the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. I would have told you I loved you when you came onto my radio, would have said it out loud for the world to hear.” He pauses for a moment.
“I’ve made mistakes, Athena, all through my life, but you… you were not one of them.”
My bottom lip trembles.
“I love you, Athena Stanley. I fell for you the moment you stood in my room clinging to your notepad.”
I blink around my living room once more, taking this in. A snort of a giggle leaves me when I see the girls faces pressed up against the window.
“Tell me to leave and I’ll go. I’ll never bother you again, I know I don’t deserve you…”