Chapter 5
Daisy
I couldn’t stop shaking. It’d been hours, and I still couldn’t stop shaking. Cash and Sage had assured me it was normal.
The cops too.
But it didn’t make it any easier.
I jumped when I heard a car door slam.
“Shhh,” Sage said as his arm tightened around me. “It’s just a car door closing,” he said gently.
I managed a nod, but found myself burrowing deeper into his side.
We were lying on one of the two queen-sized beds in the hotel outside Columbus. We’d been there for almost an hour since the cops had released us, and the sun was just starting to come over the horizon. Sage had tried to urge me to sleep, but I was afraid to close my eyes.
I was also afraid to let him go.
I hadn’t been this off-balance since my mother had been killed. There’d been no one to cling to back then.
I jumped when there was a quick knock on the hotel door.
“It’s Cash,” Sage murmured as he placed a kiss on the top of my head.
“Right,” I said as I forced myself to sit up.
The door opened and a rush of relief went through me when I saw that Cash was okay.
He’d only gone to pick up Ronan and Memphis from the small airfield where Ronan’s jet had landed, but I couldn’t get past the fear that somehow the guys who’d taken Dylan would find Cash and hurt him.
After the cops had arrived at my apartment, Cash and Sage had been put in handcuffs.
I hadn’t been, but an officer had pulled me aside to question me.
I’d frantically explained to him that Cash and Sage were my friends and that they’d saved me, but it had taken a good half hour and telling my story to three different officers before Cash and Sage had been released from the cuffs.
We’d all had to go to the police station and I’d been on my own for a couple of hours while we were individually questioned.
I wasn’t proud of it, but I’d started to cry again when Cash had been brought to the room I’d been interviewed in.
He’d held me for the longest time, whispering words of praise in my ear and reminding me I was safe and no one would ever hurt me again.
I’d never wanted him to let go.
All the humiliation I’d been feeling about what had happened that night in the motel in Seattle had fallen by the wayside.
My fear for Dylan, the memory of Lee groping me, the fear of never again seeing the men I worked with…
it had been a brutal wake-up call for me.
I’d been so numb for so long after I’d lost my mother that I hadn’t even realized how being on the fringe of Ronan’s group of men had changed me.
Somewhere along the way, I’d stopped being on the fringe and they’d become something more.
They’d become my family.
My days had stopped being about hiding from the world and had become all about helping people like me find justice. I didn’t wield a gun, but I protected people all the same. I made it so maybe there was a girl out there who wouldn’t lose her mother too soon and in the most violent of ways.
Sage helped me to stand and I was immediately enfolded in Ronan’s arms. My eyes watered as he held me tight.
He was the reason I was still here.
After my mother’s death, I’d been driven by the need for revenge and it had nearly cost me my own life.
Something I hadn’t really even cared about.
But Ronan had cared, and when he’d given me the justice for my mother that I hadn’t been able to get on my own, I’d felt a connection with him. It was like he’d become the father I’d never had. And he’d brought with him a slew of big brothers who were always watching out for me.
“Are you okay?” he asked gently.
I shook my head because I really wasn’t. I was usually better at hiding my feelings, but today had been too close of a call. “Did you find Dylan?” I asked. I had no doubt Sage and Cash had already told Ronan about my friend.
“Not yet, sweetheart, but we will. Mav’s hacking his gaming accounts to see what he can find out about him.”
I nodded against Ronan’s chest. I hated that I knew so little about Dylan, but he’d refused to even tell me his last name.
Like most gamers, we’d had a strong bond when it came to the online world we escaped into each day, but the real world was very different.
Dylan was a lot like I’d been before Ronan had found me.
Withdrawn.
Distant.
Emotionally unavailable.
But online he was very different. We’d chatted endlessly about our avatars and the games we both loved, and he’d come alive. When I’d heard the fear in his voice just a few short days ago, I’d felt that familiar sense of helplessness come over me.
The same helplessness I’d always felt as I’d watched my mother fall into relationships with all the wrong men.
Men who’d used her and thrown her away.
“We have to find him,” I said softly.
“We will, Daisy. I promise,” Ronan murmured against my hair.
I nodded because a promise from Ronan was as unbreakable as the strongest of metals. I just hoped Dylan could hang on long enough that when Ronan did find him, he could come back from whatever Lee had done to him.
Assuming he even survived it.
Ronan released me and I was quickly enfolded in Memphis’s arms. He whispered a lot of the same things to me as Ronan had, then released me.
I automatically moved to where Cash and Sage were standing near the bed.
Sage’s fingers linked with mine as he urged me to sit on the edge of it.
I didn’t like that Cash moved away, but I could tell he was restless.
His big arms were crossed over his chest and his expression looked hard and unforgiving.
It was oddly comforting.
Ronan grabbed one of the small chairs near the table and moved it so that he was sitting in front of me. “Tell me everything that happened from the moment you learned Dylan was in trouble.”
I nodded and carefully recounted the events of the past few days.
Ronan asked me a lot of questions, but I didn’t have a lot of answers.
He patted my knee and then went to talk to Memphis and Cash in a low voice.
Sage stayed with me. His arm was around my shoulders and his fingers were stroking mine.
It made me feel warm and safe. I noticed that Cash kept glancing our way from where he stood near the door talking to Ronan and Memphis, and it occurred to me that I probably shouldn’t be clinging to his boyfriend like I was.
But when I tried to put some space between me and Sage, Sage refused to release me and Cash actually frowned slightly.
His hard eyes held mine and I felt a million things go through me all at once.
I was instantly transported back to that night.
I didn’t understand the need to please him, but it was there all the same.
I remembered how he’d talked to Sage, how he’d ordered him to do things and spoken to him in that commanding voice and how Sage had seemed to feed off of it.
Had Sage been feeling that little spark inside when Cash had spoken to him like that?
The same spark I was feeling now as Cash’s eyes softened as soon as I leaned back into Sage’s side?
God, it made no sense.
But I was too tired to try and make sense of anything anymore.
I let my eyes drift shut. I wasn’t sure how much time passed before Sage gave me a gentle squeeze. “Daisy, honey,” he said softly. I opened my eyes and saw that Ronan was once again sitting in the chair across from me.
“Daisy, I’d like you to come back to Seattle with me and Memphis. You can stay with me and Seth until we figure out what to do next. Until this Lee guy and Dylan are found, I don’t want you staying alone in your apartment.”
“I can’t go back there,” I interjected as even the thought of stepping back into what had once been my sanctuary terrified me to the bone.
“You don’t have to,” Ronan quickly assured me.
“As soon as the police release the apartment when they’re done with their investigation, I’ll have someone pack all your personal belongings and have them brought to Seattle.
When you’re ready, we can get you set up with an apartment or house out there.
But Seth and I have plenty of room, so you can stay with us as long as you want. ”
I should have been able to say yes without any kind of hesitation. I trusted Ronan implicitly and while being around him and his family would take some getting used to, I knew I’d feel safe.
But something had me holding my tongue.
And I knew what it was.
An uncomfortable sensation unfurled in my belly as my eyes automatically shifted to Cash. He was standing apart from the others, arms still crossed. He looked dark and forbidding.
Dangerous.
But I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I couldn’t make myself look at my boss and thank him for his generous offer and tell him it wasn’t enough.
That it wasn’t what I truly wanted.
I didn’t know what I wanted, but something deep inside of me had me holding Cash’s gaze, willing him to see what I was afraid to admit to.
The knot in my stomach tightened painfully and my chest felt like there was a lead weight on it as I stared at Cash.
I could feel the tears pricking the backs of my eyes as the pain inside of me grew.
When he didn’t say anything, I felt something inside of me break. I somehow managed to quell the feeling as I dropped my eyes. “Ronan, thank you, I—”
“She’s going to stay with me and Sage in Arkansas,” Cash cut in before I could accept Ronan’s offer.
I barely stifled my cry of relief. Sage’s hand tightened on mine and I wondered if he’d understood what I was going through.
I needed to be with them. I knew it in my heart, but I didn’t know why. It made no sense because I knew Ronan better. Things with Ronan would be safe and easy.
But from the second Ronan had made his offer, it’d felt wrong.
No, not wrong, just not… enough.
Tension filled the room and I forced my gaze up to see both Ronan and Memphis looking at Cash in surprise. I could tell neither man was particularly happy about Cash’s announcement.
“Daisy,” Ronan said carefully. “Is that what you want?”
I nodded, but realized it wasn’t enough. I held Ronan’s eyes as I said, “It is.”
I willed Ronan not to ask me why, because I couldn’t explain it. The pain inside of me dissipated and was replaced with a bout of nerves so strong that I could barely sit still.
What the hell had I done?
Staying with Cash and Sage?
At their home?
Just us?
Oh God.
But I refused to budge when Ronan asked me if I was sure.
The men went back to talking as they discussed arrangements.
I listened long enough to determine that we’d be staying here at the motel for a couple of days while the police finished up their investigation so Cash and Sage could get their guns back after it was proven neither man had shot the man who’d been killed in my apartment.
After that, we’d fly on Ronan’s plane down to Arkansas.
I should have been more apprehensive about what was to come, but for some reason, it was one of the last things I was worried about at that moment.
I had no clue what would happen when it was just me, Sage, and Cash again, but I knew I couldn’t let what had happened the night of the wedding happen again.
No matter how much a little part of me wanted it to.