Chapter Seven #2
She passed by the next few pages and quickly focused on page ten.
At this illustration, she felt herself heat.
The man and woman, still completely dressed, kissed as he held her tight against him, his hand cupping her behind and her arms around his neck as he pressed her full length against him.
To be wanted so much that a man would hold her in such a way had her heart melting. Would Darius do this?
She’d previously refused to read the book Lissa had found buried in the stacks at the school because she’d given up hope that she would ever feel what was shown.
But now, the possibility loomed large and enticing.
The idea of being wanted by Darius, not simply for an heir but for herself, was a heady thought, and one she’d never hoped for.
After being told by her family and Society, both verbally and otherwise, that she wasn’t worthy, not quite lady enough, to be wanted for any reason was tantalizing.
After turning the page, she studied it. The man now had half the woman’s dress undone as he kissed her bare back.
Despite the heat of the fireplace, Ellie shivered, but it wasn’t due to cold so much as the thought of Darius doing the same to her.
It was such a simple process, to undress, but the kiss…
She closed her eyes and imagined it happening to her. The image wouldn’t come into focus, so she opened her eyes. The illustrations were well done and she could easily see them, so they’d do.
She couldn’t wait for what came next, and turned the page.
The woman’s dress had fallen to the floor and puddled at her feet.
She stood in her shift and stays, her head cocked to the side as the man kissed her neck.
Ellie touched her neck in the same place, trying to imagine the feeling, but failing. Hopefully, she’d soon know.
As she turned the page, her breath caught.
The man had lifted the woman’s bare breast above her limited clothing, and his thumbs lay across the nipples.
Ellie looked down at her own breasts, which were far more than a handful, and even now she could see her nipples pushing against her shift.
Would Darius think them too big? She’d never had a man touch her breasts, but she was quite sure she would like it.
She hadn’t even had a man kiss her or take her hand, until Darius.
She sighed, hopeful but also afraid to hope that her life could continue on such a wonderful track. She’d never had such luck before. She read the single sentence below the illustration. Always this…
Always curious, as she’d seen the book do these back-to-back pages before.
The next page would be a reprimand of some sort.
She turned the page and stared at the drawing, at first not sure what she was seeing.
The woman was completely dressed and against a brick wall of some kind, the skirts of her dress in the front bunched up to her waist, as the man, who looked completely dressed, stood against her.
At the bottom it simply stated, Not this… until later.
Now that was a puzzle. She turned the page again to find the couple back to being half dressed.
The man now had no tailcoat, waistcoat, or shirt as he held the woman, her torso bare against his as he kissed her.
His other hand held up her shift as it grasped her behind.
There was so much to the undressing part.
It would be so much more practical to wait until nighttime, when each had little on their person.
Ellie turned the page. The illustration took an interesting viewpoint.
It was from behind the woman, who lay on the bed looking at the naked man, but this was no ordinary naked image.
His masculine member jutted out like a horse’s did, and the woman was reaching for it with her hand.
Ellie ran her finger over the man. It was most indecent of her, but she yearned to feel that piece of anatomy.
As awkward as she’d known the copulating act to be, her friend’s smiles when hinting at it told her it must be satisfying.
She did long to be satisfied in that way.
She yawned and glanced at the clock, noticing the room was growing lighter.
It was after six in the morning! Closing the book, she quickly rose and buried it back under the linens in her chest. Crawling into bed, she pulled the covers over her and closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep.
After turning over a couple of times, she threw off the covers, finding them too heavy.
She kept thinking about the illustrations.
She needed to think of something else—the planets.
Yes, she would think about the eight planets and all that was known about them. From the sun, they were Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Ceres. First was Mercury…
—
Ellie rushed toward the stairs. It was past noon and she had yet to break her fast. What would Darius think? Did he know that Peter was better? Of course he would. No doubt Anna had sent word first thing in the morning.
She ran down the stairs, anxious to talk to Darius, but her foot missed the step. She grabbed for the banister, catching it just as her behind hit a step. “Oof.” She sat down hard, the breath knocked from her.
Her heart raced at the scare, as she still had at least a dozen steps to descend.
She set her hand against her chest, chiding herself for not holding the rail as she’d been taught.
It wouldn’t do her any good to fall and break her neck just because she was embarrassed that she’d slept so late.
The time wasn’t terrible if she’d attended a grand ball, but to be reading her secret book until dawn wasn’t acceptable.
Impatiently, she waited for her heartbeat to slow a bit before getting to her feet, her legs shaking a bit.
“Beacham!” The yell came from down the corridor and echoed in the entryway.
The butler scurried past, disappearing in the direction of her husband’s study.
Thinking of the word husband calmed her nerves a bit, and she smiled.
How wonderful that simply having a husband could make her feel so happy.
Slowly, she continued down the stairs, her hand tight on the banister.
When she reached the entryway, she increased her pace in time to hear Beacham address Darius.
“You yelled, my lord?”
She reached the study to see Darius raise his right eyebrow at his man. “I did indeed. Has Lady Ferncroft—”
She stepped around the butler. “I have. Or I believe I have. If not, I’m sure I will.”
“Ah, here you are. I was about to inquire of Beacham if you had broken your fast.” Darius looked at his butler. “You may go.”
There was something about her husband that had changed since yesterday, but she wasn’t sure what it was. However, the change in his study was significant. “Darius, you have changed this room about.”
“Indeed I have. I do so on occasion. Each configuration caters to my current focus.”
She studied the room, which looked far different than it had in the wee hours of the morning.
First, there were absolutely no more piles of books on the floor.
Second, his desk, which used to be across from the door and covered with vases, had been moved to the far wall, opposite the windows.
Third, the wingback chair that previously sat by the fireplace was set by a window.
“Do you approve?”
She walked farther into the room. “I do not think it my place to approve or disapprove, as this is your study, and as such, should be arranged as befits your purposes.” She scanned the bookcases, searching for the vases and busts she’d seen last night.
On the top shelf of a bookcase near one of the windows, she found the vases.
“But I rearranged it because you are now my wife and may come in here to confer with me on any number of matters, so I would very much like your thoughts.”
She pointed to the vases. “Do you not like vases? If so, why do you have so many?” The top shelf had at least fourteen that she could see.
Darius, who stood near the windows, now strode toward her. “I hope you will not think less of me, but I find them a rather feminine item.” He raised his hand toward the shelf. “These are gifts from my mother or purchased by my late wife. Would you like me to put them elsewhere?”
She was rather pleased at their placement because there would be much less chance that she sent them to the floor as she walked by them.
One in particular that had been in the parlor had two large handles that she’d steered clear of.
“I have no particular love of vases, so in this we are in accord.”
“Excellent.”
“But what happened to your busts of Plato, Caesar, and Alexander the Great?”
He gave her a look of pure satisfaction. “You are very observant. They now grace the mantel above the fireplace.” He gestured toward the area behind her.
She turned around to see Plato in the center and the other two men on either end, but not too close to the end.
The mantel sat above her shoulder, and she couldn’t get too close to the fire because of her dresses, something she’d learned accidentally before she came out.
“I do believe they look very regal there.” She turned back.
“It is such a pleasure to learn that you value men of wisdom as much as I do.”
He gave her a nod. “Something else we have in common. Perhaps we will find even more as we travel to visit my tenants.”
She’d completely forgotten that they had planned to do so the day before, which reminded her of Peter. “Did Anna tell you about Peter?”
His features changed from polite to relaxed in an instant. It was that moment that clarified for her what was different. He was being very formal.
“Since I heard nothing, I visited him as soon as the sun had risen. He seems quite himself again.”
Surprised that the nursemaid hadn’t sent someone to tell Darius, Ellie felt guilty now for not waking earlier.
“I did come down here to your study at about four in the morning to inform you of Peter’s improved health, but I found you asleep in your desk chair over there.
” She pointed to the window where she’d found him.
“You were here?”
She wasn’t sure, but it looked as if he’d lost some color in his face. “I was. I believe I walked in on your project of yesterday, as the room was full of book stacks. I’m guessing you were trying to keep your mind off Peter’s illness.”
He blinked then nodded. “So I was. I am heartily relieved that he is better.”
She lifted her hand to touch his arm, but quickly brought it to her chest. She wore no gloves, and images from her reading the night before quickly crowded her mind. “As am I. So if you wish to travel today, I am at your disposal.”
“Have you broken your fast?”
She looked away, embarrassed to admit the truth, but seeing no help for it. “I’m afraid I just rose, as I was up quite late.”
“Of course, and I thank you for tending to Peter. I am very pleased at your caring.”
Though the words were kind, no smile accompanied them. It was as if he hid himself behind his formality. He had said that it was required of him. “I’d best see what Cook has available. When would you like to depart?”
He glanced at the clock, which had been moved from the mantel to a bookcase. “Shall we say in an hour?”
She would have to change into a traveling dress, but if she had her food sent up, she could make that. “I shall be back downstairs in an hour.”
He gave another short nod, then walked over to his desk.
Feeling a bit confused by the new Darius, she left the room, completely confident that once they were alone in the coach, he would relax once again.