Chapter Seventeen #2
Without a second thought, she unlocked the telescope and turned it toward the light.
Once she had it in place, she relocked it and put her eye to the eyepiece.
As she focused, she could clearly see a little building.
Someone definitely lived there, as light shone from the windows and smoke rose from the chimney.
It looked very small, no bigger than her glass terrace.
Whoever lived there was up quite late, especially for a laborer.
A shadow moved across the light, proving someone was awake and about the small place.
She smiled, excited to see who it was. It could even be an old woman who was granted the small building by the former owner. Or maybe it was a man who’d been hurt saving the former owner and was given the little place to live out his days. Oh, the stories she could make up about the little place.
The shadows moved again, and then a man strode past the window. Her breath caught in her chest. She pulled her head back from the telescope. She knew that stride, but it couldn’t be.
She shook her head. Her flights of fancy were playing tricks on her.
Lowering her head to look through the telescope again, she waited.
Long moments passed and still there was no movement.
Then a man came into view. He looked like the gamekeeper.
He stood still, talking to someone. Yes, it was Mr. Archer.
Maybe it was a place where he could warm himself on his nightly rounds.
That made sense, but that couldn’t have been the original purpose. And whom was he talking to?
Oh, did the man have a mistress that he kept from his wife? She didn’t like that idea at all. If that was the case, then Darius must know. She would have to speak to him about it.
As she watched, the gamekeeper moved out of view and exited the building. Now she would see who was the woman the man dallied with. It was but a minute more before a figure moved to stand before the window.
Her heart stopped. She knew that silhouette. “Darius.”
Confusion, concern, and anger twirled inside her like a galaxy.
She lifted her head and looked out the window.
What was her husband doing on the property when he was supposed to be traveling?
Her chest tightened. Was it he that had a mistress?
Tears sprang to her eyes. She knew it was the norm, but it hurt nonetheless, and to have the woman on the estate was too much to bear.
And she wouldn’t.
She strode out of the room and headed down the hall.
Quickly, she ducked into her bedroom and exchanged her light robe for a warmer one before continuing to the grand staircase.
Descending quickly, she stopped long enough to wrap her cloak about her before striding through the parlor and outside.
She stopped after coming to the half-circle at the bottom of the steps of the parlor terrace.
She and the children always took the path to the right, toward the north wood, but only to the baby Neptune fountain.
It hadn’t occurred to her to explore further, to discover more.
Now, she would remedy that oversight. She continued through the gardens, past two more fountains, and out across a large field.
Though she could see no lights, she knew the building to be in the north wood.
Her pace quickened as her fury festered.
But deep down, where she dared not look, was an immense hurt that made her belly ache far worse than Peter taking ipecac sherry.
When she reached the wood, she turned back to look at the house. Her glass terrace gave a faint glow from the two lanterns within it. She gauged her position and where she remembered seeing the lights.
She walked along the tree line, peering into the trees. The moonlight didn’t shine where she was, as the bank of clouds remained in place. The one time she wished for moonlight, it hid as if in fear of a black hole.
Continuing on, she kept her gaze sharp, so when a distinct opening in the trees revealed a path, she silently shouted in triumph.
It had to be a path to the little house.
She didn’t hesitate in starting forward.
The ground sloped slightly upward at first before going into a gradual decline, no doubt what kept her from seeing any light in the field.
The path also wound its way about as if purposely making it difficult to travel, but she wouldn’t stop.
Finally, light revealed itself between the trees, and she quickened her pace.
As the building came into view, she understood now what it was.
It looked to be an old bathhouse—there was probably a pond nearby.
She didn’t care anymore what it was. All she cared about was confronting her husband and his mistress.
She’d thought Darius was happy with her. She was wrong. She hadn’t been good enough, just as her mother always warned, but she’d let herself believe that she was.
She didn’t slow her pace as she reached the door, turned the knob, and burst in.
—
Darius spun away from the fireplace at the sound of the door banging against the wall. “Ellie!” He stared in horror at his wife. Her finding him was far worse than any nightmare he’d ever had.
She slammed the door behind her and scanned the room as if looking for someone. Then she snapped her angry blue gaze back to him. “Why are you here?”
And there it was, the question he’d dreaded. The question he knew better than to answer. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I shouldn’t be here?” Her voice rose. “I shouldn’t be here?” She took a step forward. “You shouldn’t be here. You had business to attend to. You would be gone for days, or so you said.”
She scanned the room again, this time her gaze stopping on the unmade bed, then continuing to the dirty glasses on the sideboard and his plate with the remnants of his meal still upon it—all of it making it clear he’d been hiding. Damn.
“You’ve been here.” Her shock was clear in her whispered words.
How could he deny it? Why did fate offer him a glimpse of what his life could be like only to take it away like this? But he couldn’t let it go. He’d fight for what he’d seen could be.
“Yes. I will be home soon. I promise. You need to go back to the house.” He snapped his mouth shut over the words that almost came out. He wanted to tell her she’d been duped into marrying a madman.
She cocked her head and lowered her brows. “I don’t understand. Why are you here?”
He took a step toward her then halted. Her vibrancy and warmth called to him, but it would do no good.
He would taint it, turn her cold if he said too much.
“I promise, I will tell you when I return. But you must leave now.” He curled his hands into fists, trying to stay in control of his tongue, and not let the doomed monster inside get out.
“Why? Are you expecting someone? A woman, perhaps?” Her tone was harsh.
“A woman?” He snorted. The idea was laughable. He couldn’t even keep one woman happy. He certainly didn’t need another. “It’s not so simple as that. I can’t explain it to you now. You must leave.” His voice had turned cold, but he wasn’t capable of changing it. He was losing ground.
She crossed her arms. “Why not now? I’m here. Why does where we are make a difference?”
“Damn it, it’s not where, it’s when! Just go.” He pointed toward the door, praying she’d leave. Please.
He’d never raised his voice or cursed in front of her before, and it obviously startled her, but she wasn’t Dinah, a faint miss, who perpetuated her revenge by stealth. Ellie was fire and brimstone personified, wanting him to confess his sins before her…now.
“I’m your wife. I deserve to know why you have lied to me.”
Her only worry was that he’d lied? It was laughable compared to what she should be worried about. Yet guilt raised its ugly head, showing him the truth—that he didn’t deserve her. But now he wasn’t sure he could live without her. It wasn’t fair! “I did it to protect you. Now leave!”
“You want me to leave? Why? Am I not your wife? Or is it because I’m not good enough to be your wife? I cannot be trusted to—” She dropped her arms and looked back at the sideboard.
He recognized the moment understanding dawned, as she sucked in a breath before facing him. “Who else knows you’re here?”
He closed his eyes as if he could keep the hurt in her gaze from touching him. But she was already in his heart, like a forbidden jewel that he could never claim. It was hopeless, and to think he could keep any of it, any of her, was nothing more than a doomed man’s dreams.
He opened his eyes. “I told you. You must go. I cannot be held accountable if you stay.”
“You’re accountable for everything. Who brought you that food? Is that why the gamekeeper was here?”
He dug his fingers deeper into his palms as anger flared. “You’ve been watching me. So why ask? You already know it wasn’t Archer. Only Beacham and Mrs. Torbett provide for me. Archer just argues with me.”
“Beacham? Mrs. Torbett? They lied to me, too?” The pain in Ellie’s gaze sliced through his chest as she grasped her belly. “They know why you’re here, but not me! Not your wife?” She was yelling now.
He wanted her to yell. He needed her angry, so she’d go away.
“You’re not the man I married. I don’t know who you are, and I don’t want to know. Not anymore.” She turned toward the door and opened it.
Even as she started to do what he’d asked, his heart constricted painfully and panic swept through him. “Wait, Ellie. I didn’t mean…” Didn’t mean that she should leave? Didn’t mean to betray her trust?
She looked back and scowled at him before running down the path, leaving the door open to the cold, dark night.
Her expression broke him. So much pain and anger and disbelief in her eyes.
He stood frozen to the spot, unable to move, his heart cracking. He couldn’t lose her, no matter what he’d done. If he lost her, there was no reason to continue his struggle.
He ran out the door. “Wait! Ellie! Ellie!” A pain sliced through his chest, making it impossible to breathe. I love you. He bent over trying to fill his lungs. As soon as air returned, he straightened. He had to catch her.
No, he’d make things worse. But she already thought the worst. He couldn’t even remember what he’d said, too anxious to get her to leave.
And now that she was gone, he needed her back.
“Ellie!” He started to run after her. She couldn’t be far.
He had to explain. There was so much to explain.
He needed her, but she had to know he wasn’t worthy of her.
That he could never be the husband she hoped for. He had to—
“Umph!” His foot hit something on the path and he started to fall.
Someone grabbed his arm. “Here you go now. No time to be eating the dirt.”
Archer’s voice had him yanking his arm from the man’s grasp, barely staying upright in the process. “Let me go. I have to catch her.”
Archer grabbed his arm again. “Who are you yelling at?”
Darius rounded on the gamekeeper. “My wife!”
“All the more reason not to go after her.”
“Bloody hell! You don’t understand. She found me. She knows I lied and that others also know I hide away in my cave like the monster I am. I have to explain.”
“And what will you tell her? That you’re a madman, a monster? Or will you tell her that you hope to one day follow in your selfish uncle’s footsteps and make her a widow so she can marry another lord?”
At the thought of Ellie with another man, rage filled his gut. He pulled back his arm and punched Archer.
The man’s head whipped to the side, but when he turned back, he was smiling. “Always hoped you’d do that one day.”
That was the last thing Darius heard before darkness wiped away all thought, welcoming him to oblivion.