Chapter 25
25
ESME
I didn't want to think. I didn't want to talk. I only wanted to feel.
Not scared. Not angry. Not desperate or lonely or frustrated or sad.
Dios mío , I was so fucking tired of being sad.
I only wanted to feel Brogan, his skin against mine, his heartbeat racing my pulse, the heat of his body searing away the chill that had taken up permanent residence in my bones since this whole mess with Marcus began. I needed him, needed this connection more than my next breath, and as I straddled his hips on the bed, I knew he needed it, too.
His hands tightened and released and tightened again on my hips, but he didn't make any advances otherwise, as if he were still fighting the urge to push me away. But I wasn't having any of that tonight. Tonight, I was done with running and hiding and being afraid. Tonight, I was going to live— really live—and damn the consequences tomorrow might bring.
"Brogan," I whispered in his ear, nibbling on his lobe as my fingers tangled in the soft hair at the nape of his warm neck. He smelled incredible. Like something wild and wicked and masculine. "Look at me."
With hesitation, he lifted his eyes to mine, and the conflict I glimpsed within him almost shattered my resolve—hunger fighting against shame, passion struggling against self-hatred. This internal battle of his flared up whenever we were together like this. One that, dammit , I was set on conquering.
"I need you." My voice was unsteady as our eyes locked together like magnets drawn by an unstoppable force. "And I know you need me ," I continued, pressing my lips to his collarbone and inhaling his scent before trailing my mouth along his jawline until our lips met in a searing kiss that left us both gasping for air. "So, please , take what you need from me."
"Esme…"
I loved the way he said my name when he was lost to me. Like it was torn from him against his will and there was nothing else but the two of us.
"There's no one here but us," I whispered, my lips a fraction of an inch from his. "Just you and me. I'm yours, Brogan. Please ." I was begging now, but I felt no shame in it. I would gladly get on my knees tonight for this male if that's what it took.
With a long, shuddering exhale, he groaned against my mouth, finally giving in to this thing between us. Suddenly, the room spun around me so fast my stomach lurched and my back landed on the mattress. Brogan's weight pressed me down, one hand wrapped in my hair and the other beneath my ass, lifting my hips off the bed as he buried his face against the side of my throat and ground his hard length against my stomach. The strength and ease with which he held me sent a wave of longing through me. Though I barely came up to his chin, I wasn't a tiny woman, and no man had ever handled me the way he did. Of course, he wasn't a normal man.
I moaned at the feel of his hard body. "Yes, mi diablo ." My devil. That's exactly what he was. A devil with sharp teeth and haunted eyes who made my blood burn for him even when he was nowhere around.
And he was mine.
The word sighed through me as I staked my claim on this beautiful male. And then I said it aloud as I tightened my arms around his neck. "MINE."
He pulled back just enough to look at me, his bright green eyes meeting mine for a brief moment before they devoured my face, my hair, ending at my mouth. The raw vulnerability there was a mirror of my own. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once, this connection between us, as if our souls were reaching out for one another, desperate for the solace only we could provide to each other. And when his lips took mine, there was no control in his kiss. Instead, it was fierce and desperate, a demand that ignited a fire beneath my skin, giving me no choice but to surrender to him.
I clung helplessly to his shoulders as the world tilted around me, my fingers digging in hard, like I was afraid he'd disappear if I let go.
I need all of you.
Don't hold back.
Please, please, please, please…
His response was to growl deep in his throat, a possessive sound that resonated all the way to my very core. I stiffened. Had I said that out loud? Then I completely forgot what I was worrying about when his fangs scraped my bottom lip, not enough to draw blood, just enough to cause goosebumps all over my body.
Do you feel that?
His kiss softened, growing more reverent, until our lips were barely touching. "I felt it the first time I saw you sitting at the bar," he whispered. "All red lips and dark hair and sad brown eyes. The first time you looked at me. The first time you spoke. The first time you touched me. The first time I felt your lips," he pressed his mouth to mine briefly, "against mine." He paused, his hands coming up to cup my face between his palms as he held himself up on his forearms. Those green eyes burned into me. "The first time I tasted you. I feel it every second of every fucking day since you came into my life, Esme."
I could only stare up at him as his confession shoved aside the fear and anger I'd carried with me all of these weeks, making room for him in my heart. "You can hear me?"
A small smile teased the corners of his mouth. "Only when you let me in."
Dios mío …
Slowly, gently, he peeled away the layers of my clothing as if I were a rare and precious gift to be unwrapped with the utmost care. Every brush of his fingers against my skin sent shivers cascading down my spine. Every touch of his lips burned me, branded me, and I arched into his touch, eager for more. The unholy light in his eyes making my heart flutter wildly in my chest. I held my breath, suspended in this perfect moment between us. I'd never felt so cherished, so completely seen by another person as I did beneath Brogan's intense gaze.
Once I was completely bare, he paused, kneeling over me as his eyes worshipped my body with a reverence that made my heart ache. "You're so fucking beautiful," he murmured, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt beautiful under his gaze—beautiful, powerful, and desirable and entirely free of the shadows that had been dogging my every step since I'd left Mexico.
I reached for him, my fingers trembling slightly as I tugged at the buttons of his ridiculous shirt. I arched my back, needing to feel his body pressed against mine, to have him erase the last of the distance between us with the heat of his touch. I wanted him inside of me. His cock. His fangs .
Suddenly impatient, he tore off his shirt, then stood to kick off his boots and jeans, his hungry eyes darting from one part of me to the next with such intensity I could feel my skin burn every place they touched. Unable to wait, I ran my hands up my stomach and lifted my breasts in offering, brushing my fingers over my sensitive nipples…
My breath stuttered in my chest at the reaction on his face.
Brogan watched me touching myself, his head tilted and his upper lip lifted from his bared fangs. The bones in his face were more pronounced than a moment earlier, and his tensed muscles appeared harder, stronger, leaner. I pinched my nipples between my fingers, moaning when they hardened, and his hands curled into fists at his sides. He was so beautiful, and also completely terrifying, like nothing I'd ever seen before. I couldn't tear my eyes away as I writhed on the bed, moaning as desire clenched low in my stomach in response, giving myself over to him as a sacrifice.
An animalistic growl filled the room, raising the little hairs all over my body. It almost sent me over the edge, my breath catching as I rode the rising waves of desire clenching within me. One hand wandered down between my legs.
Suddenly, he was hovering over me on the bed, his hands on either side of my head and strong legs trapping mine. His warm lips trailed fire down my neck, and I pressed my head back into the mattress to give him better access. His name escaped my lips on a sigh as his fangs gently scraped against my skin, sending a thrill through me. A dangerous longing that I couldn't—and didn't want to—resist.
He inhaled, breathing in my scent and exhaling with a hungry moan, and I braced myself for the pain of his fangs piercing my throat. But he hesitated, his body tensing above me and his panting breaths coming short and fast as he fought against his vampire nature, against the primal urge to feed.
"Do it," I whispered, my voice steady despite the pounding of my heart. "Take all of me." I slid my hand to the back of his neck, pulling his teeth closer to my throat. "I trust you, Brogan."
With a sound somewhere between unbearable pain and need, he reared back and struck fast as a snake, his fangs piercing smoothly through the layers of my skin. There was a sharp prick, followed by an indescribable sensation of such raw pleasure I could do nothing but let it course through me as I cried out. A rush of heat to my blood followed as my body relaxed into him, binding me to him in the most intimate way possible.
I held him to my throat and wrapped my legs around his muscular hips, clinging to him as he fed from me. My fingers tangled in his soft hair as he took what I freely offered. Shocks of desire shot through me with every pull of his mouth, my hips rising of their own accord, trying to ease the ache between my thighs. He settled his weight over me, pushing me back to the bed. "Brogan…" My body was on fire. Blood rushing through my veins, racing to meet his mouth.
More.
His arm slid beneath my back, his other hand in my hair, tilting my head away to give him better access. He groaned against the side of my throat, and the sound was so hungry, so full of need that I cried out. And then he moved, rolling his hips into mine, his hard, thick length sliding easily through my folds against my clit. Another animalistic sound filled the room when he felt how wet I was for him.
Just as I was about to go over the edge, he withdrew his fangs from my throat, licking the wound to help it heal and kissing his way to my breast. I nearly ripped the hair from his head when he flicked my nipple with his tongue, rolling it between his sharp teeth. I tensed, my entire body humming with anticipation, riding the wire as I waited for him to bite. But he didn't, and I moaned with disappointment as he kissed and licked his way to the other side, winding me up so tight I thought I was going to snap like a rubber band.
Balancing on one arm, he shifted until he could slide his hand between my legs. Every muscle in my body locked when his fingers slid easily through the slick heat of me.
An instant later, cool air replaced the warmth of his body as his shoulders pushed my thighs apart. I looked down to find his eyes on my sex and his mouth less than an inch from my aching clit. I lifted my hips in invitation, but he only threw one arm over my hips and pressed me down again, laughing softly when I cursed him in Spanish. But when the tip of his tongue barely touched me, I dug my heels into the bed and shamelessly surged toward his mouth.
" Please. " I begged, my hands finding my breasts again as I threw my head back into the mattress. If he didn't do something to ease the winding tension within me, I was going to explode into a million pieces and there would be nothing left for him.
But his next words, so quiet I almost didn't hear them, calmed the storm raging inside of me a bit.
"I've never tasted…"
What was he saying?
"Just…let me taste you. Here." And then his tongue laved me again, hot and wet, licking me from back to front, feeling his way until he found the spot that made my hips buck and sent me spiraling into pleasure so intense I questioned whether I’d survive this night.
All thoughts vanished as he teased me with his tongue, grazing my clit with his fangs until I was nothing but a mindless thing, all of my focus zeroed in on what he was doing with his mouth. A puppet under his complete control. My cries for mercy only made him moan against me. The vibrations of his voice adding to my torture.
Raising my arms above my head, I shamelessly rode his mouth as much as he would allow, never wanting it to end, and at the same time willing to give him anything he wanted if he would just make me come.
Brogan slid a thick finger deep inside of me, and then two, twisting them around and curling them forward as he pressed against my swollen clit with a fang until the delicate skin popped and he began to drink.
Stars burst behind my eyelids as waves of ecstasy rolled through me, each one stronger than the last. My thighs trembled around Brogan's head as he drank from the most intimate part of me, prolonging my release until I thought I would go mad with wanting. I clutched at his hair, not sure if I was pulling him closer or pushing him away, my body caught in that exquisite place between too much and not enough. He flicked my clit with his tongue and my breath caught as my entire body heaved upward and then exploded into a million shattering pieces, the pleasure so intense I wasn't sure I'd ever be whole again.
But instead of releasing me as I expected, he pulled his fingers from me and replaced them with his tongue, tasting my release as I rode out the storm inside of me until I was nothing but a shuddering mess on the bed. Only then did he rise over me, his green eyes so bright they nearly glowed as he stared down at my face with an intensity I'd never experienced from another person.
"Next time, I want to watch you do that for me when I'm inside you."
A needy groan left me. Yes. Yes, I wanted that too.
The muscles in his jawline twitched with the strain of maintaining his self-restraint as he looked down between our bodies.
But I didn't want him in control.
Widening my thighs to make room for him, I pulled on his shoulders until he lowered his weight over me, the hiss he released when skin met skin, raising the hair on the back of my neck.
"I need you so much," I whispered. "Please, Brogan." I widened my thighs more and slid my arms beneath his, wrapping them around his back. "Please." Lifting my head, I pressed my lips to his, running my tongue along the seam until he opened for me on a groan.
His large body shuddered once. Twice. And I slid my hand between us, finding his hard length and lining him up with my entrance. He pushed with his hips, the head of his cock right there , and I pulled my hand away.
Immediately, he pulled back just a little and pressed forward again, sliding into me a little bit more.
"Oh, God…"
He felt so good, stretching me wide to take him. Sucking his bottom lip into my mouth, I bit down hard, tasting his blood on my tongue.
Brogan froze over me, but I only moaned as a shudder wracked my muscles. He tasted like the most delicious wine, and I bit down again, sucking hard this time.
He cried out against my mouth as he withdrew and thrust forward hard, sinking all the way inside me.
My breath caught in my lungs, and I released his mouth as he pulled back, his eyes wild and his fangs bared between his parted lips. But I wasn't afraid. No. Not at all.
A drop of blood beaded on his lip, and he ran his tongue over the wound. "Esme…" Fear flashed in his eyes.
"More," I demanded. "Give me more." I writhed beneath him like a wild thing, the drops of blood I'd tasted burning down my throat in the most delicious way, setting my body aflame as my muscles clenched around his cock, still inside of me.
He hesitated only a moment before bringing his wrist to his mouth and biting down, opening the vein for me and pressing it to my mouth. I latched on, my hands wrapping around his wrist to hold his arm still as I greedily drank. Tension coiled within me, tighter and tighter as his blood sparked every nerve in my body.
Brogan groaned, lowering his head as he began to thrust into me, deep and hard. Keeping his wrist to my mouth with one hand, I pressed the other to the back of his head, silently telling him what I wanted. Chills chased each other up and down my spine when his fangs scraped the top of my breast right before he sank them into my flesh and sucked, pulling on the small veins there.
His hips picked up speed, his large body bent over me, and I met him thrust for thrust, burning alive from the inside out until the inferno centered low in my stomach and exploded outward, so intense I lost my grip on his wrist as all control left me and my womb tightened and released over and over with such pleasure it bordered on pain.
As soon as I released him, Brogan lifted his head and slid his arms beneath me, holding me tight even as I continued to jerk beneath him, his hips pounding into me wildly now until he pushed impossibly deep, his entire body straining and his hips jerking, trying to get deeper as he threw his head back with a primal cry and found his own release.
My eyes widened as I watched him. Dios . He was beautiful . Like a wild creature from the most damning level of sin. And I would happily stand before God and take whatever punishment He wanted to dish out just to see Brogan like this again.
When it was over, he collapsed on top of me and buried his face into the side of my neck, breathing hard through his mouth, his heart pounding against mine. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to.
I felt it, too.
As our breathing slowed and the sweat cooled on our skin, he pulled his cock from me and rolled onto his back, gathering me into his arms and tucking my body against his as if he never wanted to let me go. I laid my head on his chest and listened to the steady thrum of his heart, grateful for the silence that enveloped us so we could keep reality from ruining this moment just a little bit longer.
And when he lifted my face to his and kissed me, softly at first, and then with swiftly building hunger, I gave myself over to him again without hesitation.
It was hours later when we finally made our way downstairs to find the house in chaos.