Chapter 27
27
brOGAN
T he door clicked shut behind us as we entered my bedroom. We'd just spent an hour downstairs in the kitchen with everyone else trying to figure out something—anything—we could do.
But, eventually, as the sun rose over the horizon, Killian had called an end to the discussion and ordered everyone not to leave the main house without telling someone else where they were going and, preferably, taking another person with them. When Dae pointed out that, as our creator, we all basically had built-in tracking devices within our blood, he reminded us that could easily be masked if someone had the magic to do it, and cell phones could be lost or broken. The rule stood, and we'd all wandered off to find an empty bed.
As soon as the door closed behind us, I pulled Esme close, needing the comfort of her scent, and caught notes of our mixed blood. She would be even easier for me to find now, but it didn't make me feel any better. I wanted to make her promise me she wouldn't do anything foolish, like run off on her own to find the damned book Marcus wanted her to hunt down for him, but first, we had a few other things that needed to be discussed. I couldn't keep her in the dark any longer.
"Esme..." I murmured, cupping her cheek. "There's something you need to know about what happened between us."
Her dark eyes met mine, filled with a vulnerability that cut straight to my soul. "What is it?"
I swallowed hard, the weight of my words heavy on my tongue. "You drank my blood…" I started.
Blood immediately rushed to the surface of her skin, creeping up her chest and neck and into her cheeks. She looked away. "I don't know what came over me. It just…I just…"
"Hey, hey." Gently, I turned her face and ducked my head, catching her eyes with mine. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's a natural thing between a vampire and his mate."
Her eyebrows lifted, and I tried not to flinch as she raised the shields in her mind and shut me out. “What are you not telling me?”
It was my turn not to know what to say. The words were there, right on the tip of my tongue. But fuck , I couldn't make them come out.
"Brogan?" Taking my hand, she held it in hers. "Whatever it is, just tell me. It can't be any worse than a djinn wanting to kill us all if I don't find his damn book."
She had a point. And Killian was right. She needed to know all of it. "I knew when I tasted your blood the first time that you were mine ," I confessed.
"Your… mate ," she clarified, and I gave her a nod. “This is the vampire word for girlfriend.”
"No. Not all. There's more to it than that."
She stilled, her eyes never leaving my face as she waited quietly, giving me time to compose my thoughts so I could explain.
I listened to the steady beat of her heart, afraid she would freak out and run away before I had a chance to explain. Before I had the chance to love her. “Once a vampire finds their mate, they depend on them for survival."
Her frown returned. “What does that mean?” she asked softly.
“It means...” I hesitated, the words catching in my throat. “It means I can’t feed from anyone else now. Ever. It means you’re it for me. They say it's fate, but I don't know if that's true, or if it's just some kind of chemistry thing between us or what.”
"How do you know this?"
"Because it happened to Killian and Lizzy, Kenya and Alex, and Jamal and Angel. It’s happened to the vampires who were coming here.”
Her lips parted like she was about to say something, but nothing came out. I could see the shock in her eyes, could practically hear her mind spinning as she processed what I’d just told her. I waited, my heart pounding hard in my chest, giving her the time she'd given me. Finally, she asked, "And what will happen to you if I don't want to be in this…relationship?”
There was no way to make this any easier to hear, so I was blunt. "I'll die. It'll take a little time, but that's what'll happen."
"So…" I could see her struggling to understand. "Without me, without my blood, you'll die."
"Yes."
"That's not really a choice," she said softly as a wave of pity crossed her face.
That look right there was exactly why I hadn't told her until now. "Don't look at me like that," I told her. "I've lived a long life, and if you don't kill me, something else probably will soon enough. You have a choice," I emphasized. "But there's more."
She was looking down at the floor, but at that, her eyes whipped back up to mine. "More?"
"Yeah, there's more. But I kind of don't want to tell you," I confessed.
"Why not?"
"Because then I'll never know if you're with me because you want to be, or just because of what it can do for you." I smiled as I said it, but she didn't return it.
"And you don't think that the guilt I'd bear if I let you die would do that all on its own? Because I'm telling you right now, I could never walk away from you now that I know what will happen."
“You don't have to give up your life for me. I would never make you do that."
"You're right. I don't. But…" She paused. "In case you haven't figured it out on your own after tonight, I want to be with you. I do."
The roaring in my ears was so loud, I had no idea if she said anything after I want to be with you . "I'm sorry, what?" I asked.
"I want to be with you," she repeated. "But…" She pulled away from me. Not physically. But I felt it, nonetheless.
"Es?"
She took a breath and met my eyes. "If I'm with you, he'll kill you." She looked around the room. "As a matter of fact, I shouldn't be here at all."
"You're not leaving," I told her in a tone that brooked no argument. I pointed toward the window. "You're not going out there by yourself."
She gave me a sad smile. "You do have a death wish, then."
Unable to stand the distance between us anymore, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, desperate to feel the connection we’d shared an hour ago.
"There's more you need to know,” I repeated. I took a deep breath, needing her to understand everything before she made any decisions. "My blood will change you, Esme."
She didn't pull away, speaking into my shirt instead. "Change me how?"
"Vampire blood has regenerative properties. It slows human aging to almost nothing." I waited for her to look up at me, and then I brushed my thumb across her cheek, unable to keep from touching her soft skin. "Which means that as long as you’re with me, and if you continue to drink from me, you'll live as long as I do. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
" Dios mío ," she murmured, a flash of panic crossing her features. "Am I going to turn into a creature like you now?"
"No," I was quick to reassure her. "No, that's a different process. You'll stay human, but you'll stop aging."
Those little lines showed up between her brows. "What do you mean?"
"I mean you'll be as immortal as I am."
At first she said nothing at all, just stared up at me like she was wondering if she was really awake. Then finally, she said, "Oh."
"My blood also keeps you healthy. And it heals injuries. If you're hurt, you'll heal much faster than normal."
She put her head back on my chest. "Well, that's not a bad thing."
"No," I agreed. "But don't think you can go running around picking fights with djinns because of it."
"I wish that could be an easy promise to keep," she said softly. Then she got quiet. Too quiet.
"Look," I told her as I cupped her face and kissed the crown of her head, breathing her scent deep into my lungs so I'd never forget it. "If you need some time to think about it, I understand. But I hope you'll stay here with us while you do that where you'll be safer. My offer to sleep on the couch still stands if you need some space.”
"I don't need to think about it." She looked up at me. "Who am I to argue with fate?" Then she smiled and stepped out of my arms. "I'm tired. I'm going to go brush my teeth. Are you coming to bed?"
Like an idiot, I stood where she'd left me, watching her walk over to her suitcase. Then she remembered she didn't have a toothbrush. We'd left it at her apartment. "Do you have an extra toothbrush?" When I didn't answer, she lifted her eyebrows. "Brogan? A toothbrush?"
I rubbed the back of my neck, expecting her to tell me any moment that she was just fucking with me and she was leaving. Or to kick me out of my room. Or…or…something. It couldn't be this fucking easy. "In the bathroom. Top drawer. There should be some there."
She walked past me, stopping to give me a quick kiss before she left the bedroom and crossed the hall to the bathroom.
"Thank you," she said, then she closed the door as I stood there like an idiot.