Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Halle was on the edge, and my heart was in her hands. My breathing was shallow, and I was trying not to push her any more than I already had. But I was done holding back. This was my chance, and I was putting it all on the line in the hopes that she’d agree.
All in.
Come on. Say yes, I pleaded. Hoped. Prayed. I wasn’t sure I’d ever wished more for anything in my life.
“Jasper,” she sighed, and my heart sank. I’d been so hopeful, and now I was mentally preparing myself for rejection. She took her hand and placed it over my heart. Something about her action soothed me, even as I braced for impact.
“I’m… I want to be with you. Truly.” She met my eyes. “But I don’t understand why this has to be all or nothing. Why can’t we just let things evolve naturally?”
I placed my hand over hers, relieved, grateful, but also…concerned. “Maybe we could if we were a normal couple. Do you have reservations about me? About us?”
“No.” She shook her head. “This has nothing to do with you—and everything to do with our jobs.”
That was a relief. Sort of.
She gnawed on her bottom lip. “I know you want to tell our family and friends, but I’m not ready for that. And even if I were, we need to tread very carefully. This is a delicate situation.”
I wanted her to know that I took her concerns seriously. She was a single mom, supporting herself and her son. I had nothing but admiration for how hard she worked to provide for them. Let alone everything she was doing to help her parents. And I respected her dedication to my family’s company.
“I looked at your employment contract, and it guarantees you cannot be fired at will. Technically, Sloan is your supervisor, not me. While I can suggest things regarding your employment, she will always have the final say. Though obviously, the board weighs in since you’re now considered an executive. ”
Halle’s shoulders seemed to relax slightly at that. “That’s good. I feel better about the fact that I don’t report directly to you.”
“So do I. I don’t like the idea of there ever being a power imbalance between us—at work or at home. I want us to be partners. Equals. And I want you to feel secure in your job, because you are important to this company.” And to me.
“Thank you.” She dipped her head. “It’s nice to work for a company that values me. And I appreciate your looking at that. My job—our roles at the company—is one of my biggest hesitations.”
“I understand that,” I said. Because truly, I did.
Our relationship could be explosive—for her, for me, for the company.
It wasn’t something I took lightly. “I do. And I’m not pushing for us to do a hard launch here, but I need to know that telling them is our end goal. ” Because she was the end goal for me.
She peered up at me from beneath her lashes. “But we could be discreet for now, right?”
“For now,” I said, wanting to emphasize that point, even though I thought it might be best just to get our relationship out there. Part of it was impatience, but a bigger part of it was concern.
Last summer, we’d been having fun. There’d been no need to tell my family or the board because it wasn’t going to amount to anything serious.
Things had changed for me during our time together, and I’d realized I wanted serious.
But Halle hadn’t. Her life had been in London, and mine was in LA.
She hadn’t wanted a long-distance relationship.
Now… Well, I was going into this with an entirely different mind-set.
Distance was no longer an obstacle, and I didn’t want to let anything else stand in our way.
I was thinking of the future—my future with Halle, with Kai.
I wanted to do everything in my power to protect them.
And that meant I had to think ahead when it came to our roles in the company, to Halle’s career, to how we were going to handle this with Sloan and my family, as well as Pierce and the board of directors.
“What else?” I asked, wanting to assuage Halle’s fears and reassure her. “What other concerns do you have?”
“Just—” She blew out a breath. “So many. What if things don’t work out? What then?” I could see the fear in her eyes. “What about my job? What about Kai?”
“What about him?”
“I haven’t dated anyone since the divorce. And this is all new territory for me. I don’t want to confuse him or have him get attached to you, only for things to end.”
I could understand that, even if I didn’t like how much emphasis Halle was putting on things ending. I didn’t even want to contemplate it, let alone discuss it. But I had to remember that she was divorced, and her reticence was understandable.
“Would you be okay with just being my friend or colleague for now?” she asked.
I tucked her hair behind her ear, wanting her to know that I understood her concerns regarding Kai. “He’s your son, and you know what’s best for him.”
She smiled at that. “Thank you.”
“Of course. You’re a good mom, Halle. You probably don’t hear that enough, but you are.”
She leaned forward and pressed her lips to my temple. “You’re a good man, Jasper Mackenzie. You probably don’t hear that enough, but you are.”
Something in me warmed at her compliment. Released. Eased.
Halle saw me, not only as the man I was but as the man I wanted to be. It was nice to have someone believe in me. Appreciate me just as I was.
“I’m scared too,” I admitted. “I’ve never really done this with anyone. Never found anyone who made me want to try. Until you.”
She smiled then, and I couldn’t help it. I found myself saying, “I want to kiss you.” It felt as if the words had been ripped from my chest. From my very soul. “So damn bad.”
“Then kiss me,” she said, as if it were that simple.
I’d wanted to kiss her since the moment she’d walked into the conference room all those weeks ago. I’d thought about little else since. Just one taste. One kiss.
I shook my head, releasing her hand so I could drag mine through my hair. “I can’t…” I swallowed, trying to compose myself. “I want you. I want this. But I can’t. Not unless you’re sure.” Because losing her had hurt too much.
She stared at me, unblinking. Stunned.
Hell, I was still a little surprised myself. But I knew what I wanted, and I refused to compromise. If I couldn’t have all of her, then I wouldn’t have any of her.
Yes, she’d said that she wanted to be with me. But I knew she still had reservations. It was understandable, and I was trying to show her that I wanted more than a physical relationship with her. And I was proving it to her in the only way I knew how.
She searched my eyes as if seeking the truth. And then she said, “You’re serious.”
I nodded. “I am. Because the way I feel about you isn’t going away. I don’t want it to go away. Tell me you feel it too.”
Her eyes fluttered closed, and she looked almost pained when she admitted, “I feel it too.”
I felt as if my heart was in free fall.
“I’m scared,” she whispered.
“I know,” I said. “But if you ignore everything else and focus on us, on me, it feels right.”
She nodded. “It does.”
She was so close to giving in. To saying yes.
“So let’s just focus on us—for now. And forget everything else.” Baby steps.
She nodded again, and something in my chest eased. “Just… I know I’m asking for discretion, but I won’t share you,” she said, and I couldn’t hold back my smile. “I couldn’t handle seeing you at an event with another woman.”
“You’d never have to. I’m yours.”
Her shoulders seemed to relax, some decision crystallizing. “Okay.”
“Okay, what?”
A smile formed on her lips. “Okay.” Her eyes met mine, pure and sincere and good as she finally, finally, uttered the words I’d been longing to hear. “I’m yours.”
“Fuck yes, you are.” I’d known that all along, but it was a relief to have her admit it too.
I unbuckled her seat belt and pulled her into my lap. I needed to touch her. Halle let out a yelp of surprise, and I chuckled, feeling lighter than I had in months. I kissed beside her eye. Her cheek. The edge of her mouth. Everywhere that wasn’t her lips.
My cock was already hard and pushing against my zipper, but I took a deep, steadying breath and tried to think of something other than the feel of her on my lap. In my arms. Because nothing had ever felt more right.
As desperate as I was to kiss her, I hadn’t waited this long to rush it. I was going to savor every fucking second.
I searched her gaze, drinking her in. The way she looked at me. The feel of her in my arms. She brushed my hair away from my face, and I closed my eyes, overcome.
“What is it?” she asked, tracing the lines of my face with her fingertip.
I let out a shaky exhale. I couldn’t tell her the truth—not yet. But I could tell her part of it. “I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you.”
She tilted her head, her expression softening. “I want you too, Jasper.” She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I don’t think I ever stopped wanting you.”
With one hand on her back, I used the other to cup the back of her neck, guiding her mouth to mine. When her lips grazed mine, my entire body felt as if it had been jolted back to life. And as we danced and devoured and claimed each other, I knew that it had all been worth the wait for this moment.
Months of pent-up longing poured out of me. I wanted her. I’d never stopped wanting her. And I had a feeling that would always be the case. I would never get my fill.
We couldn’t seem to make up our minds. One second, we were gentle. The next, our kiss turned feral. Greedy alternating with playful and tender.
My hands were in her hair, on her ass. Everywhere I could reach. I’d never been more grateful for the soundproof walls and locked door.
She rocked against me, and I gritted my teeth. My cock was already aching to be inside her, but I was determined to stay focused. Meanwhile, she seemed just as determined to get me to lose control.
I cupped the back of her neck. “Say it again, Halle. Tell me you’re mine.” Because fuck…my restraint was so close to snapping.