Chapter 37
CHAPTER 37
“ S o it’s really not getting any better?” Flick asked at book club that Thursday. “You know, Sophie still seems to think he’s a nice guy.”
Flick and Gemma were alone in the kitchen at Flick’s house while the others were sitting in the living room, discussing the romcom they had all just finished reading. Usually, Gemma was at the centre of any discussions, but she hadn’t been feeling the book this week, although she thought that was more her fault than the book’s. She had struggled to get her mind to focus. Usually, it would have been her type of read. It was a massive social media hit with a story based around two colleagues who didn’t get on. Of course, it was clear from the beginning that they were going to resolve all their issues, fall madly in love, and become the perfect couple. And she usually would have enjoyed a predictable read like that, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t relax and get into the story. Perhaps it was because the thought of falling for the arse you worked with was just too far-fetched, given her current situation. No, there was no way she could ever imagine that.
“I just feel like I’m always second-guessing myself around him,” she said to Flick. “And that he’s sneaking around behind my back. It’s crap. You know, I’ve always found the job so much fun. Sure, it’s hard work and everything, but it’s always been a laugh. You know, a place where we could have a giggle. In fact, when things went down the pan with Robert, I preferred being at work to at home.”
“I don’t think I know much about you and your ex,” Flick replied.
“You don’t want to,” Gemma answered succinctly. “Let’s just say it was messy. But the point is, I could always count on the cafe as being somewhere I could switch off. I felt comfortable, completely at ease, even when we got the occasional shitty customer, because I knew what I was doing. But I don’t feel like that now. I feel like Kent’s judging me.”
Flick didn’t respond immediately. Instead, she pressed her lips tightly together. As the pair stood there in silence, Gemma noticed something.
“Is that a Coffee-X cup,” she said gesturing over to Flick’s sink, where the takeaway cup was sitting on the countertop. “Don’t tell me you’re buying from them too? You know they’re buying out so many small businesses.”
Flick rolled her eyes. “I was on my way back from London. It wasn’t like I could get one from you. And we’re not talking about Coffee-X. We’re talking about you and the coffee shop. Now, can I say something without you getting mad at me?”
Gemma raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know. What is it you want to say?”
“From the way you’ve been talking, it feels to me like you’re taking every comment he makes about the café as a personal insult to you.”
“Well, it is. I’m the one who’s run it. I’ve run it for eight years.”
“I know that, and you’ve done a great job, but from what I hear, so has he. He’s just run very different types of places, that’s all. I think maybe you’re too close to the cafe to be able to see anything objectively.”
Gemma could feel her defensive muscles twitching as she went to defend herself, only Flick wasn’t done yet.
“I think it might be like me and Nate.”
“Nate?” Nate was Flick’s ex-husband, who was now engaged to book club member Jules. Gemma couldn’t possibly see how their situation had anything to do with hers and Kent’s.
“You are the coffee shop. You’ve been together so long, it’s practically a marriage.”
“I take pride in my business,” Gemma said, only to hear the anger in her tone. She swallowed it back down and tried again. “Sorry. I guess that’s a bit of a nerve. Robert always said I was married to the job. It’s one of the reasons he gave for the things he did.”
Flick nodded. “I get it. I understand. You love it. But when you’re in a marriage, you don’t see things clearly. Trust me, I’ve been there. And everyone’s different. Some people focus only on the parts that aren’t working and don’t realise what a great thing they have, others ignore all the crappy bits. Gloss over all the crap because they don’t want to admit things might not be as perfect as they’d hoped. It can be like that with a job too, and the café is just a job, Gemma. You give it your everything but…”
She stopped as if she had realised she was going to go a step too far.
“But?” Gemma pressed. Considering everything Flick had already said to her, she struggled to wonder what she was going to keep back.
Flick took a deep breath in.
“It’s not your business,” she said. “It’s someone else’s. You’re putting all this energy, building your life around something that belongs to someone else. Something that could be taken from you at any time and without any warning. Perhaps that energy would be best spent building something for yourself. Perhaps even a relationship.”