Chapter 35 Leila
Leila
After dropping Davina back off at her firm in the city center, I realize I don’t want to be around Julian right now. His gloating earlier today made my skin crawl, and if that’s the kind of behavior I’m in for when the trial starts, I’ll have to distance myself from him. It’s intolerable.
Driving through the streets, I glance at all the Christmas trees in the windows and warm white lights decorating the houses.
Crowds of schoolchildren wearing their best festive clothes—little girls in sparkly dresses and boys in smart shirts—walk down the road holding hands with their parents.
The excitement of finishing school for Christmas shows on their faces as they skip along, not a care in the world.
Suddenly, I feel desperately alone. I’m not the kind of person who always needs someone by my side, but right now, everything is collapsing around me.
I decide to reroute to visit Audrey. There’s something comforting about her house and being in her company.
As I approach, I notice there’s a red car parked where I usually go.
Typical for Victorian semis, there’s very little parking space nearby.
I generally know everyone who has access to the house, but I don’t know who this is.
Dread settles over me as I wonder if it’s anything to do with the messages I’ve been receiving.
No. She wouldn’t be that obvious.
Parking a little farther up, I get out of the car and walk toward the house. Just before I reach the path, the front door opens and a blonde woman wearing a long, gray coat comes out. She slams the door shut and begins walking down the path.
“Sienna?”
It’s dark now, and she didn’t expect to see me. She stops and makes the kind of noise women do when someone has sneaked up on them.
“Jesus Christ, Leila!” she says. “You scared me!”
I pause for a second, trying to figure out how best to handle this.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry?” she replies with a hint of aggression in her voice.
“Why are you here?” I ask again.
“What? I’m not allowed to see a friend? I was related to Audrey for a time.”
“Well, you’re not related anymore,” I point out.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t still care about her. I always bring her a little something at Christmas. What’s wrong with that?”
“You’ve been before?” I ask, raising my voice.
“Sorry, Leila, I don’t understand the issue here.”
“Do you have any idea what Julian will do if he finds out?”
A huge smile appears on her face. She starts laughing.
“And how is he going to find out?” she asks. “Are you going to tell him? Because he sure as hell isn’t going to catch me here himself. Let me guess, last time he actually came to visit his mother was, what? A year ago?”
I stare down at the ground, because it’s too embarrassing to look her in the face. She’s right. It’s been months since Julian last visited Audrey.
“Some things never change, Leila,” she tells me. “People don’t change.”
I take a deep breath and shake my head.
“They do, actually,” I say. “People can change. They do it all the time.”
“Maybe.” She shrugs. “But not people like him.”
The wind starts to whip up around us, and the sound of Christmas tunes whizzes by from nearby cars.
“Look, I like Audrey, and I enjoy coming to visit her,” she says. “She appreciates the company. You come a lot?”
“Every week,” I tell her, wrapping my coat around myself to keep warm.
“She’s got really bad. I was last here six months ago or so, and she’s got much worse.”
“I know.”
“Still switched on, though. She’s always been one of the few women who isn’t scared of him. I admire her for that.”
I frown, seeking clarification of what she’s implying.
“Scared?”
“I think you know what I mean,” she says, smiling softly. “Here anytime, Leila.”
Sienna walks to her car, her heels clicking on the path, and I wonder how she became this way. What was her marriage to Julian like? What really happened? I’d love to know. Or maybe I wouldn’t. I watch her drive off and decide I won’t be telling Julian about this.
Audrey’s house is stiflingly hot. Predictably, she’s had the heating on all day.
“Come in, dear!” she sings. “Aren’t I lucky? Two visitors in one day! Just had Samantha here. Lovely girl. I’m sure she used to know Julian.”
I smile, allowing her to chat as I make cups of tea for the pair of us.
Bringing them into the living room, we sit down on the sofa and she throws a blanket over me so I don’t “freeze to death.” Her cheeks are posy pink with too much blush, and she wears a baby-blue knit with a pearl brooch at her left collarbone.
Her hand shakes slightly as she lifts the cup to her mouth, so I allow mine to hover beneath in case she drops it.
“For god’s sake, Leila!” she cries out. “I’m not an invalid!”
I ask about her day, and she tells me a fantastical tale about how she went to Knaresborough on the bus and then to the market to buy some groceries. It’s not true, but she believes it is, and that’s enough. I nod along and ask questions, and she gives the most imaginative answers.
But what Sienna said is on my mind and curiosity gets the better of me. I ask her, not knowing what she will say.
“Audrey, what do you think of Julian?”
“Julian?” she ponders, in her little crackly voice.
She smiles in that way she does, seeming to have gone into her own little world.
She could be anywhere, gazing off into the distance.
It was unfair of me to ask—she may not even remember who he is.
I lean over to grab my cup of tea, but she reaches for my hand, takes it like a mother would in both of hers.
They’re so frail—the blue veins pop through her skin, making it appear tracing-paper thin.
Her eyes look directly into mine.
“You can’t trust him, you know,” she says, very quietly. “That’s why he doesn’t come to see me. He hates women who can see through him. He’s threatened by it. That’s why he doesn’t like you.”
Normally when Audrey says something unusual or bizarre, I correct her. Not today.
She says it with such clarity, such precision, that right now, I believe every word she says.