Chapter 71 Leila
Leila
Two weeks after trial
We couldn’t meet anywhere locally so I booked an Airbnb—a little cottage deep in Northumberland, miles from anywhere.
I arrive first, shaking with excitement, barely able to believe it is happening.
I get the fire going and put some food out for us.
It’s a wild and windy night, perfect for locking ourselves away.
A few minutes later, there’s a knock at the door. I open it.
“Hey there,” he says, smiling in the way he does when he’s with me.
In the way I haven’t seen in the longest time.
He immediately wraps his arms around me as I burst into tears.
Sinking his face into my hair, he rubs his hand gently over my back and says, “It’s OK, it’s all going to be OK. I’m here now. I love you.”
He is “home” to me, not like the home I grew up in, but the home I want to be in forever.
I’m not exactly sure what Davina thought when I asked her for Jack’s new number; barristers aren’t supposed to have direct contact with clients, but she gave it to me.
I said I wanted to check on him. I don’t think she believed me, but Davina is used to turning a blind eye.
She was always going to be our best bet.
It’s the most surreal feeling, to be with him again.
Only a few weeks ago I thought I’d lose him forever.
For the next few hours, I barely let go of him.
We sit in front of the fire, drinking wine, eating food, acting like a normal couple.
Yet again, we exist only within four walls, but this time, it feels different.
There is a glimmer of hope for us now. It is professionally inappropriate, but not seedy or illicit. We have to take the small wins.
I tell Jack about Julian and how I am now free of him. He struggles to hide how happy he is about the news and sweeps me up in his arms, whispering into my ear, “I’m so proud of you.”
We don’t talk about the trial. It feels like something we endured and were lucky to survive. There’s no need to rake over it. It’s in the past. We’re only looking forward now.
In bed that night, I lie in his arms as the wind whips around outside and the radio plays on low. A vanilla-scented candle burns on his bedside table. There’s something about being in a dark room with just music and the sounds of nature.
“I don’t want to do this anymore,” I say to him, breaking the silence. It feels a brave statement but one I am absolutely sure about.
“What?” he asks, confused. “Us?”
“No, not that,” I reassure him. “I want that. I want all that. I mean everything else. Law. The Bar…”
He looks at me with concern in his eyes. The gentle glow from the candle makes him look even more beautiful—can a man be beautiful?
“But that’s your life.”
“I’m not sure I want to be that person anymore.”
“What exactly do you want?”
“You said last year you wanted to go to Australia. Now I’m free of Julian, there’s no reason we can’t.”
It feels scary and brave but very right.
“Are you absolutely sure about this?” he asks, looking at me intently.
“Yes.” I nod. “I want to disappear with you, start again.”
He sweeps a piece of hair off my cheek.
“Then let’s do it,” he says. “If you want me to run away with you, I’m all for it.”
His eyes lock with mine and I know he means it. This is all we’ve wanted, to be together, away from everyone and everything. We kiss each other harder than we ever have. Although we’ve been through a lot to get here, this is exactly where we were supposed to end up.
I sink into him, knowing the girl I was is not the girl I am now. Delilah. Leila. I can put everything behind me and start again with Jack. Live on my own terms. Maybe even take on a new name. Be who I am and get it right this time.
Because everyone can change, even me.