Chapter 4
Diesel
“Y ou got someplace to be?” Dion asked, his voice teasing.
Closing my phone, I placed it down on the table, right next to my untouched glass of scotch, and looked at him.
“Why’d you ask?” I hissed, eyes narrowed.
“It’s the third time you’ve checked your phone since we sat down.” He took a sip from his drink. “Just wondering if you have a better place to be. A date, maybe?” He smirked.
Fucker .
“Maybe I just don’t want to look at your ugly face,” I said, sinking back into the leather couch I was sitting on. While I did, in fact, hate seeing Dion’s face, I also had someplace else to be right now.
“Ugly? I’m beautiful.” He grinned. “Anyway, let’s make this meeting short, shall we?” Putting his drink aside, he snapped his fingers together. A moment later, Gale, who was also present in the room, handed Dion some folder. Flipping through it, Dion stopped on a page before handing it to me. Quickly checking it out, I saw lots of numbers. Not just numbers—dates. Dates for future drug shipments .
“We have a mole,” Dion said while I still looked at the info. “A dirty little mole who sells our information to our rivals.”
There were many smaller organizations in the region that constantly, yet unsuccessfully, tried to bring Dion’s dynasty down.
“Anyway, we handled this small leak of information and canceled those shipments, but I can’t schedule new ones as long as that little mole is still running around free. And that’s costing me money.” He then took a cigarette from the bowl on the table and put it between his lips. Tilting his head aside, Gale came from behind him and lit it for him. Dion took a long drag before exhaling out the smoke. “I also suspect this mole was the one to give away my location the day of my attempted assassination,” he said as the smoke of his cigarette reached my nostrils.
Ignoring my need for a smoke myself, I pulled out my pack of gum.
“Any idea who this fucker could be?” I asked, popping two pieces of gum into my mouth so I’d have something to keep it busy with.
“Gale here thinks it’s one of our field men, but I think it can be anyone.” He grinned and took another huff. “From the cook to the gardener in my mansion. Everyone is a suspect.” He then pointed his thumb at Gale. “Maybe it’s him, who knows.”
The muscles in Gale’s jaw twitched, giving away his annoyance with Dion’s joke.
I snorted because I hated that idiot, then closed the folder and tossed it back on the table. “So what does any of this have to do with me?” I asked while looking at Dion with a raised brow.
“I want you to find that mole.” He leaned forward. “See it as your final job.”
“Me?” I frowned. “What makes you think I’d be good at it?” Usually, I was tasked with fieldwork, such as collecting debts and working the ground on drug shipments. I wasn’t the type to spy.
He smiled from ear to ear. “Because you’re motivated to get out of here as fast as possible, and I want this mole hunted quickly. ”
That was valid.
“So once I find him, I’m free?”
Dion leaned back on his sofa and stretched one arm behind it. “As free as a bird.”
“Fine,” I said, then stood up. “But remember what I said. If I find out you’ve tricked me, I’ll fucking kill you.”
Gale clicked his tongue, already taking a step toward me when Dion stopped him by raising his hand.
“Calm down, Gale. Diesel here is just stating his terms of the contract.” The Frenchman smiled, eyes locked with mine.
I grunted.
“Anyway, until we find out who this dirty little rat is, I will hold back all of my drug shipments. This means the clock is ticking, Diesel.” He finally dropped his smile as he pinned me with a harsh look. “Tick-tock, tick-tock.” He mouthed the words in a sickening way.
I hated Dion from the bottom of my heart. Loathed him to my core, but since he was the one with his hand around my neck, I had no choice but to oblige.
With that, our conversation was done, and I was free to leave. Since Dion’s office was currently under repairs in order to install a huge fish tank in it, we held this meeting in one of the Venetian’s lounge rooms. Not wasting time, I got out of there and started walking toward the exit of the club. This place held so many moments, each corner laced with memories of me and Llorón. The stage I used to dance on while he watched me with captivating eyes. The suite that became our hangout place whenever he came here. The bed we lay in and talked for days without knowing who the other was and, above all, the room I just passed by—the Notte Oscura. The lightless room where we saw each other for the first time as I held him in my arms and he gave himself wholly to me. My skin remembered every caress of his fingers, every kiss of his lips, and every touch of his body that pressed against my own. I could still hear the sound of his voice as he whispered my name so beautifully as if he owned it .
He did.
Shay-Lee Rogers owned every bit of me, whether he liked it or not. The fact he ignored me when we met the other day wasn’t about to stop me from getting him back and only encouraged me to move my fucking ass. While I knew I wasn’t completely out of Dion’s grip, I also knew I’d wasted enough time already. And speaking of time, I was currently late, so I’d better hurry the fuck up or—
“Got you!” a cheerful voice said just as someone jumped on my back.
I didn’t need to see him to know who it was, as I easily recognized Oro’s overly perfumed scent.
“Now’s not a good time, Oro,” I said while he only latched on to me harder, wrapping his arms around my neck so tight that it was hard to breathe.
“When is it a good time, then?” He rested his chin on my shoulder. “You’ve been ignoring me for days.”
I sighed, then sent one hand to ruffle his hair. “I know. I’m sorry.”
He finally slipped off my back and moved to stand before me. He’d probably just finished a session with a client because other than the golden Gatto mask he was holding in his hand, he was wearing an open silk robe and a necklace of pearls.
With his rosy complexion and dusting of soft freckles coating his milky skin, Oro looked too damn innocent to be working in this filthy place. He was small yet fit, with brown wavy hair that made him look like a lost Trojan prince and had big eyes the color of teal. He was beautiful, which he knew and used to his benefit. It was how he got Dion’s attention to begin with, back when he offered to sell his body instead of paying back the debt his scum of an aunt left behind her. I was there when it happened. I watched Dion offer Oro a way out of the gutters he grew up in. Replacing one shitty reality with another, Dion gave Oro profanity in the disguise of wealth and money that came in the form of a golden Gatto mask.
Hence his name, Oro . The Italian word for gold .
In a matter of two short years, and at the young age of twenty, Oro became the prince of the Venetian. Enjoying the perks of being Dion’s favorite toy, he practically did whatever he wanted.
There was no arguing about Oro’s beauty, as many clients, both men and women, stood in line to spend a night with him. He was a professional—a true artist in his craft. One glance at the flirtatious way he was looking at me right now would prove that. But despite the temptation in his eyes through which he carefully studied me and the seductive way he just licked his lips, I was oblivious to his look. I was immune to it because what was a prince compared to a god?
“You’re sorry?” Oro pouted his lips before taking a step closer to me and putting his hands on my waist. “It sure doesn’t sound like it.”
He was fond of physical touch while I wasn’t, and despite the number of times I’d told him that, he still showed no respect for my personal boundaries. I assumed it was due to his childhood, which left him hurt and traumatized. Yet, despite my empathy toward him, I wasn’t the one to take care of his wounds.
Softly grabbing his wrist, I removed his hands from around me and took a step back. “Sorry for ignoring you, but I’ve been busy.”
He frowned. “Since when are you too busy for me ?”
His words disturbed me because he was a bit delusional about our relationship, but then again, perhaps I’d been too generous with him and, without noticing, fooled him into believing we were something we weren’t. For the record, I’d never so much as thought of him in any way that wasn’t purely platonic, let alone touched him. And he’d tried. Oh , had he tried to fuck me many times before.
“Well, I was busy, and you’d better get used to it because I’m going to leave this place soon.”
“Why? Dion sending you away again?” he asked while I checked my phone for the time.
Shit. I’m running late.
“No,” I said .
“What do you mean no? Then where are you going?”
“I’m leaving the organization.” Ignoring the deep frown on Oro’s face, I pocketed my phone. “And I have to go now, so we can talk later.”
He grabbed my arm before I could walk away. “What do you mean you’re leaving the organization?” His brows pulled close while his green eyes shone with worry.
“You knew I was only here for a few years.”
“But you had one more year to be here with me .” He raised his voice, and I looked around us. Thankfully, no one was in the hall to hear him shout.
“I’m sorry, but it has nothing to do with you,” I said, well aware that my words weren’t comforting, but again, it wasn’t my job to comfort him. “Now I really have to go.”
“Where to?” he asked after I shrugged him off me.
“None of your business.”
“Fine,” he hissed. “But if you think we’re done with this conversation, you’re fucking wrong, Camilo.”
My body tensed at the sound of my name coming out of his lips. I hated when people used it when they weren’t entitled to it. The only reason Oro knew my name to begin with was because of Dion. That fucker told him anything.
“Did you hear me?” Oro called after me.
“Sure. We’ll talk later,” I said, not bothering to turn around as I increased my steps, thinking that if I were going to miss him because of my stupid conversation with Dion or Oro, I’d be fucking pissed.
I pulled my bike up in front of a small cafe not far from West Hollywood. I’d typically stay away from these kinds of trendy places, but not today. Today, I came here for a reason, and that reason was none other than a sexy blond kitten with a temper.
Since Shay-Lee refused to answer my calls (I’d taken his new number from Chief), it left me with no choice but to turn to rather extreme methods. Therefore, I managed to convince Andrei to convince Soren, who, in my defense, was feeling much better, to tell me where I’d be able to track Shay-Lee down. Did I reach rock bottom by stalking him? Yes, I did, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit it. Thanks to the information provided to me by Andrei, I learned that Shay-Lee sat down for a matcha latte in this cafe almost every day at 4:00 p.m. So, here I was at 4:00 p.m. sharp, ready to go inside and reclaim my sweet lover.
Before I did, I checked myself in my bike’s mirror to fix my hair, then got rid of the gum I was chewing on my ride here. Satisfied with the way I looked, I strolled toward the cafe. Stepping in, I was immediately hit with the strong scent of cinnamon buns that reminded me I hadn’t eaten a single thing that day. My stomach rumbled, but I pushed my hunger aside as I checked out the shop. Surprisingly, I loved the design, as it was packed with plants. But since I didn’t come here to be impressed by a well-groomed philodendron but to find my pissed Llorón, I focused on the task at hand. Stretching my neck, I looked around the tables when I spotted a blond head that couldn’t be mistaken for anyone else. My heart fluttered, and I bit my lip, already excited to see him again.
Things are only going to get better from here on out.
With that thought in mind, I walked between the tables toward Shay-Lee. Since he was sitting with his back to the entrance, he didn’t notice me coming until I reached him. His eyes were glued to his laptop screen, so I cleared my throat.
“Is this seat taken?” I asked.
“No,” he said, his attention still on his laptop. “It isn’t—” Shay-Lee’s words cut off the second he looked up and our eyes met. He had his hair up in a messy bun and was so damn sexy.
“You’ve gotta be shitting me.” His whole face scrunched up, and he rubbed the bridge of his nose.
Ignoring his annoyance, I sat down on the chair across from him. “Since when do you like matcha?” I asked while pointing over his mug. “It’s best with almond milk. I drink it every morning. ”
“Please, tell me more, and I’ll pretend I give a fuck.” He faked a smile before going back to his laptop.
“I missed your sweet side.”
Ignoring my sarcasm, which was actually true because I loved his snarky personality, he looked up at me with narrowed eyes. “What are you doing here?” he snarled, slapping his laptop closed.
“I came to grab a drink.” I reached for the menu on the table. “Besides, you said this seat was free.”
He snatched the menu from my hand and tossed it aside. “Not if it’s for you, it’s not.”
“Well, that was rude.” I pouted at the menu on the floor before looking up at Shay-Lee. “What if I got hurt?”
Shay-Lee remained immune to my joke as he continued to stare at me with a straight face.
“Why are you here?” he finally asked, his voice cold.
“To see you, obviously.”
His lips twisted as if he’d tasted something bitter.
“How did you know I’d be here?”
Putting my elbows on the table, I leaned closer. “ Nah . I ain’t giving away my sources.”
“Well, whatever.” He reopened his laptop. “You can either continue to sit here and stare at me like a creep or go away and die someplace. Either way, I don’t give a shit.”
His mean words were one thing, but the way he looked away from me was another. Irritated, I pushed his laptop screen closed only to get his attention back.
“What the fuck?”
“Let’s talk.”
“No,” he hissed and reopened it.
I closed it.
“Yes.”
“No.” He opened it, and I grunted.
“Come on, Shay-Lee, I know you’re mad, but I’m here now. So let’s talk. ”
He snorted. “I told you already, I’m not mad. I simply don’t give a fuck.”
Leaning back on the chair, I crossed my arms over my chest. “You think I’m going to believe that?”
“Believe whatever you want.”
His fingers hit the keyboard repeatedly, and the sound of his consistent typing danced on my nerves. Pushing my irritation aside, I forced a smile. “You mean to tell me that you actually don’t care that I’m sitting here, right in front of you?”
He didn’t answer me and instead kept doing whatever he did on that damn computer. Fuck , I wanted to break it, but I couldn’t because one of my new life resolutions was to control my damn anger issues. I had no time to take care of them while working for Dion, but now, it was a new goal. So, taking a deep breath, I sighed. “Shay-Lee, talk to me.”
“I have nothing to say.”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s true.” He looked up, and our eyes met. “Four years ago, I had tons of things to tell you. But now?” His lips shaped into a little mean smile. “Now, I have nothing. And you know why?” He tilted his head aside, waiting for my answer.
“No.” I hissed the word through my dry throat.
“It’s ’cause you’re dead to me, Diesel.”
Diesel .
Who knew hearing him call me that way would be this fucking painful?
The same gut-wrenching feeling of blunt rejection struck me again, and my body turned cold. Yet, it wasn’t enough to make me withdraw because deep down, I knew he was feeling something toward me. I just needed a sign.
“I find that hard to believe, Llorón.”
The emotion might have appeared on his face for no more than a split second, but just then, Shay-Lee’s eyes widened as his whole expression turned soft before his features hardened and he frowned at me, and what I saw made me smile like a jackass. What Shay-Lee’s eyes held wasn’t love but hate. Pure, worthful hate of someone who’d been betrayed.
And while I’d much rather be greeted back with his love, I was fine with his hate, too. After all, we’d already hated one another once and had managed to fall in love, so why not do it again?
“Then you’re delusional,” he hissed, only proving me right.
I knew he wouldn’t be able to put on this detached, aloof boyfriend act for long.
He loves me too much for that.
“You know how they say that love and hate are just two sides of the same coin?”
“What?” He scowled.
Satisfied with his adorable confusion, I leaned closer. With two fingers, I slowly shut his computer while holding his stare. “What I’m trying to say is that you’re claiming I’m dead to you, and yet look how angry you are.” I pointed at his heart and watched the fury grow on his face. “I bet you hold lots of hate in there.”
Shay-Lee was never one to handle his anger properly. With his explosive personality, he was the type to burn the world to the ground, not ignore it.
“You’re damn right I hate you.”
Yeah, kitten, that’s right. Give me all those emotions.
“Good,” I smirked. “So hate me a little bit more, bueno ?”
We were in each other’s faces, close enough for me to see every shade of his baby blues. They were by far the most glorious eyes I’d ever seen.
“You’re crazy.”
“You’re damn right I am.”
Shay-Lee seemed to only then realize how close our faces were because he quickly pulled back, creating enough space between us to ease this undeniable tension. He could put on that cold mask all he wanted, but as always, I saw right through him .
Shay-Lee then went back to his laptop, clearly trying to ignore me.
“Your hair is so sexy pulled up,” I said with a half smirk, not deterred when he rolled his eyes.
“Whatever.”
Rubbing my jaw, I pointed at his laptop. “What you working on?”
“None of your business.”
“Come on.”
“Fuck off.”
I pretended to pout. “That’s not very friendly of you.”
He glared at me, death in his eyes, and my heart missed a fucking beat.
“Have I told you how gorgeous you are?”
“Oh, for God’s sake,” he grunted, then rubbed his temples. “Would you please just go?”
Considering his words, I twisted my lips and then shrugged. “Nah. I don’t have anything else to do.”
The muscle in his jaw twitched as the vein in his neck popped. “Well, I do. I’m about to meet someone.”
Yeah, right.
“And who would that be?”
“Again, none of your business.”
I reached to stroke his hand when he slapped me away. “Dare to touch me and I’ll empty the pepper spray I carry with me in your damn face,” he warned, yet somehow, I found it extremely hot.
Fuck, I loved our little banters. In fact, I was having a blast—that was until I noticed a familiar face walking into the shop.
“What the hell?” I hissed, eyes pinned on Jordan’s ugly face, who stood at the entrance to the store while looking around. Just when I thought it might be an unfortunate coincidence, Shay-Lee turned around.
“Babe, I’m over here,” he said, waving his hand in the air.
Babe ?
My eyes snapped back to Shay-Lee, who was still waving to Jordan.
BABE?
Did he just call Jordan—motherfucking—Keller babe ?
And while still busy with my growing fury, Jordan started to walk toward us. His gaze immediately landed on me like a hunter with a target as he studied me with narrowed eyes. My pulse kicked up a notch, and by the time he reached our table, I was so mad that my brain couldn’t come up with any coherent thought, and instead, I sat there with my teeth gritted so hard I might have broken something.
“Hey, babe.” Shay-Lee said that damn word again while getting up to greet Jordan with a hug and a—
I slammed my hand flat on the table once their lips touched and, like an idiot, continued to glare at them with wide eyes. I was seeing red as my whole world was slowly closing around me, and I swore to God I was a second away from breaking something when Jordan’s hand slid to Shay-Lee’s slim waist.
What. The. Fuck.
Jordan finally removed his lips from Shay-Lee’s only to turn his attention to me. Displeasure was evident on his stupid face, judging by his pinched brows and tensed jaw.
“What’s he doing here?” he asked while Shay-Lee began packing his things into his bag.
“Beats me. He just popped up out of nowhere.”
My heart was hammering so fast I could hear it in my ears, and I realized I had yet to say a single word and instead sat there like the pathetic bastard I was. To be honest, I was in a pure state of shock, and I could only blame my cocky ass for that. In the years I’d been away, I had many scenarios of what would happen once Shay-Lee and I reunited. I spent nights imagining how much he’d miss me, not once stopping to think that he might have moved on. Maybe because being with someone else seemed impossible to me, I assumed it would be the same for him. Guess I was wrong because Shay-Lee didn’t just move on with a random man but with damn Jordan, of all people? The fucking bastard who lied on the stand without missing a beat. Oh yeah, I still remembered all the lies that son of a bitch spat between sobbing while testifying against me on my trial. The anger that thrummed in my ears like drums finally snapped me out of my shock, and I spoke.
“What the fuck?” I hissed, eyes locked on Shay-Lee’s blank expression.
“What?”
“What do you mean ‘what’?” I bit back, trying to pretend Jordan wasn’t standing right next to us. “You’re dating?”
“Engaged, actually,” Shay-Lee said so casually, then proceeded to show me his hand, flashing a ring in my face that I didn’t notice until now.
My chest tightened like I’d just been kicked, and my heart fucking dropped. But it wasn’t just shock that hit me like a bitch but hurt . Pure hurt that spread through me like a disease. I swallowed hard, my eyes moving to Shay-Lee’s neck, which was clear of my necklace. The necklace I’d given him when he agreed to marry me nearly five years ago. The lack of it only increased my humiliation. But never one to be good at containing his emotions, I turned toward the thing I knew best and got angry.
“You son of a bitch,” I hissed at Jordan after I got up.
Jordan didn’t miss the opportunity and stepped toward me until we were face-to-face.
“Are you really in the position to get angry?” he asked, his stupidly deep voice annoying the shit out of me.
“You’re this close to getting punched,” I warned. Fuck my new resolution of being less violent ’cause I was ready to break his fucking face.
“Oh, get off your fucking high horse,” Shay-Lee hissed before wrapping his arm around Jordan’s biceps and pulling him away from me. But despite the distance we now had between us, Jordan’s eyes stayed on me until Shay-Lee called his name again .
Putting his hand on Jordan’s shoulder, Shay-Lee gently caressed him. “If we don’t go now, we’ll be late for our meeting,” he said in a soft voice. A voice he used to save for me.
“What meeting?” I asked, my eyes still pinned on stupid Jordan. Was it just me, or had he gotten bigger? He was still shorter than me but had gained at least twenty pounds of pure, shredded muscle. What the actual fuck?
“Our architect. We’re building a house,” Shay-Lee said.
“A house?” I turned to look at him, my eyes narrowed.
“Yes,” he said when Jordan took his bag away from him. “Anyway, we’re going now. Please don’t stalk me again.”
Without lingering any longer, they turned around and walked out of the coffee shop while I stayed in my place, unable to move a single muscle. To be honest, I half hoped this was a nightmare because I sure as fuck wished to wake up. But it wasn’t, and Shay-Lee had really just walked out of this shop wrapped around another man’s arm.
Not knowing what to do with myself, I glanced back at the table where Shay-Lee’s matcha mug was still resting. How could this actually be happening? How could Shay-Lee agree to marry someone else while I was still alive? Didn’t we agree never to leave each other?
But you left.
I did. I left him but for a good reason. Right? Because if, after all the crap I’d been through, I’d lost him to stupid Jordan Keller, what was the fucking point?
“S-sir, is everything okay?”
Snapped out of my head, I looked aside to see one of the servers standing by my side with a worried look on her face.
“Fuck no,” I snapped at her, then, with the little self-respect I had left, got out of that damn shop. The cold breeze that hit my skin the second I stepped into the street did nothing to calm me down, and I felt so hot that my skin burned under my clothes. And if that wasn’t enough, someone bumped into me.
“Are you fucking blind?” I screamed at the man, who, in his defense, apologized immediately. But I didn’t care. I was too damn angry to care. The stranger’s eyes widened, and his brows rose with… with fear. It took me a second to realize why he looked dead-ass scared. Looming over him with my fists raised in the air, I was all but ready to punch this mere stranger who’d bumped into me by mistake. Realizing how dangerously close I was to doing something completely stupid, I moved away from him in a flash and got to my bike. Turning on the engine, I was out of there in seconds. But I didn’t ride home and instead continued riding for hours with no destination in mind. It was only after the sun went down and the moon came up that I felt like going back to my shitty apartment. I’d had a long day. A long, awful day, and I was finally ready for it to end.
Unfortunately for me, my plans of going straight to bed weren’t about to happen because when I walked inside my place, I found out I wasn’t alone.