Chapter 41
Diesel
A pounding headache jolted me awake, and aching, I struggled to open my eyes. “F-fuck,” I grunted while sending one hand to rub my face before I attempted to get up. The second I did, my head spun, forcing me to lie back down.
Half opening my eyes, I stared at my crappy ceiling, wishing it would just fall on top of me and crush me alive. I bet even that wouldn’t hurt as much as I was hurting right now. Glancing at the window, it looked like it was around noon, which meant I’d slept for… I had no idea for how long, and quite frankly, I was surprised I’d even survived the gallons of alcohol I swallowed last night.
The sound of a door opening made my heart drop, and hopeful it was Shay-Lee, I got my ass moving. My body hurt like a motherfucker as I did, but I’d take it if it meant Shay-Lee came home—
“Ha, you’re finally awake,” Oro said cheerfully as he stepped out of my bathroom wearing a shirt that belonged to Shay-Lee .
Anger poured through me like the alcohol that still ran in my veins, and ignoring the pain in my head and body, I stormed toward him.
“The fuck you think you’re wearing?” I shouted and clenched his shirt in my fist, nearly ripping the fabric as I pulled him close. Just then, another thought occurred to me, and I looked down at his legs. “And why the fuck are you half-naked?”
Placing his hand on top of mine, he stroked me. “I had to take a shower after last night.”
His wording rubbed me the wrong way, and I jolted him closer. “The fuck does that mean?”
His brows knitted close into a frown. “You mean you don’t remember last night?”
Don’t remember? The last thing I recalled was dragging my pathetic ass from the cemetery into the first bar I found and ordering a bottle of bourbon, which I drank neat . Anything that happened past that stage was as good as gone.
“You were drunk, so you called me and asked for my help,” Oro said with a concerned look on his face while he continued to move the pad of his fingers along my forearm. “I picked you up from that bar and brought you here. The whole time you were sobbing like a kid because that asshole dumped you.”
My body tensed, and angry, I gritted my teeth. “He didn’t dump me.”
Oro snorted. “It sure didn’t sound like it, but anyway, after we got here…” He dropped his stare to my lips before glancing up to meet my eyes. “Well, you can imagine what happened next.”
Shocked, I released the hold on his shirt. Oro didn’t waste a moment before latching onto me and wrapping his arms around my body.
“You were the best fuck I’d ever had, Camilo. Absolutely the best.”
My blood ran cold with his claim that we’d fucked last night, and as he continued to hug me, my rage only grew stronger until I could hardly hear my own thoughts. The mere implication that I’d cheated on Shay-Lee was beyond absurd, and if Oro thought for one second that I was dumb enough to believe this crap he was spitting, he was wrong. So fucking wrong .
“C-Camilo?” he gasped after I grabbed his arms and pushed him back.
“We didn’t have sex last night.”
“What do you mean?” His bottom lip quivered.
He was a good actor, I’d give him that.
“We. Didn’t. Have. Sex. Last. Night.” My muscles vibrated with fury, and when he tried hugging me again, I pushed him back.
“Camilo!”
“And I never called you for help.” I locked eyes with him, and the lying bitch flinched with fear.
“W-what are you talking about? Of course you called m—”
I violently cupped his face in my palm, forcing his stupid mouth shut after I had had enough of his lies.
“You mean so little to me, practically nothing, so why on earth would I ever call you?” I tightened my hold until he winced with pain.
His eyes widened like those of a little rat as he begged me to let go, but I didn’t.
“And you’re bold enough to say we fucked?” I pulled him close so his ear nearly brushed my lips. “I’d rather die than cheat on him, let alone touch you, puta .” Repulsed by his proximity, I pushed him to the floor.
He began crying, not that I gave a shit, as I turned around to pick up my phone from the bed.
“H-how could you speak to me like this?”
“Easily,” I said as I tried opening my phone when it didn’t work. The stupid thing was out of battery. Looking for my charger, I found it connected to the wall, so I walked over there, all while Oro continued whining like a fucking bitch.
“Don’t you see that we’re perfect for one another? Unlike that asshole who doesn’t appreciate you at all. You said it yourself—you said how he doesn’t appreciate what you did for him.”
Yeah, right.
When I didn’t bother to reply, he got up from the floor and ran toward me. “I love you, Camilo.” He grabbed my arm. “I have loved you since we first met,” he said, desperation in his eyes.
Oro’s confession, which meant nothing to me, suddenly made my stomach roil with fear. Was this how Shay-Lee saw me last night—A pathetic creature he was better off without? My heart broke just with the thought of it, and anxious, I looked away from Oro. There’s no way, right? Shay-Lee still loved me; he was just hurt. Betrayed by my lies and actions, but he still loved me.
Right?
“I love you,” he said again, causing my lips to twitch with annoyance.
“I’m going to take a shower. You better get your ass out of here before I’m done.” Not caring for his tears, I shrugged him off and walked straight to the bathroom, where I locked myself inside.
A sigh of relief left me once I heard the house door shut, and I began stripping naked. I’d given Oro too much fucking slack, and finally, I was over it. In fact, he should be thankful it only ended with his tears and not his blood, as I was a second away from letting out all my frustration on his idiotic face.
Before getting inside the shower, I caught my reflection in the mirror, and would you believe it? I looked as pathetic as I felt. Shay-Lee couldn’t have made himself clearer yesterday, and honestly, I couldn’t blame him. He finally saw me for what I was.
A monster.
The monster who killed his father.
Images from then returned to me—images of my hands covered with blood as I stood over Christian’s abused corpse. My chest tightened, and my breaths turned heavy, same as it did back then, when I studied him with mad eyes, wishing he’d come back to life so I could rip him to shreds again.
“Fuck!” I punched the damn mirror, not giving a shit about the shards cutting my knuckles as I hit it again and again until the pain overcame my mind. But one broken mirror wasn’t enough, and I began crushing everything. From the shit we had on the sink to the cabinet on the wall and even those damn plants I grew here. I smashed whatever I could reach, and when I finally had no more things to break, I stepped in for a cold shower. But like always, no amount of water would ever be enough to clean the filth off me, and it was then I decided I needed a fucking cigarette.
I stepped out of the convenience store and moved away from the entrance before pulling out the pack of smokes from the plastic bag that contained some bandages for my hands and nuts for later. A lady with bleached hair and high platforms walked inside the store just as I opened the pack, and for some reason, I eyed her before going back to my own business.
Putting the cigarette between my lips, I’d nearly forgotten the taste of the filter. Whatever . Eager for that first boost of nicotine, I grabbed the plastic lighter I’d also bought and brought it to the tip of the cig. Using my thumb, I rolled the spark wheel a few times until the cig caught fire. With my eyes closed, I took the first puff and kept the smoke in to enjoy the sweet flavor before I blew it out. Shit . It didn’t feel as good as I remembered. Not in the slightest. Yet, it didn’t stop me from smoking, and by the time that lady stepped out of the store with a Diet Coke and a bag of chips, I was already on my second smoke.
After standing outside like a lost dog for too long, I decided to go back home. Since my place wasn’t too far, only a block away, I’d walked here on foot, hoping it would help with the hangover that still bugged me. It didn’t help, and I still felt like shit. Every part of me hurt to the point that walking this short distance made my legs burn, and I was grateful when I finally spotted my building from afar. All I wanted was to crawl back into bed and never get up. But God had other plans because when I got into the elevator, the stupid shit decided to break.
“Fuck!” I cursed and kicked it, thinking about how Shay-Lee always struggled to make it work. The thought of him made me want to cry, but instead, I laced my fingers with my necklace and tried to relive the moment he’d given it to me. It brought a faint smile to my lips that was quickly gone with the honk of a truck that passed by the road.
“What a shitty day,” I grunted. Getting out of the elevator, I used the fire escape stairs and climbed up. While Shay-Lee wasn’t there to greet me back home, Toro was, and I quickly picked him up in my arms. He’d grown and wasn’t a tiny little furball anymore but a spoiled cat that loved cuddling. Rubbing his head against me, he purred.
“Yeah.” I kissed his head. “I miss him, too.” I put Toro down before tossing the plastic bag on the counter. I’d bandage my hands later, but first, I wanted another smoke.
I pulled my packet of smokes out when I noticed my phone. I’d left it here to charge, so taking my cig with me, I walked over to grab it. Seeing I had two missed calls from an unknown caller, I sat on my bed, cigarette between my lips, and called the number back. The phone rang and rang, but no one picked up.
“Whatever.” I shrugged, put the phone down, and lit my cig when someone knocked on my door.
Fuck.
When would people leave me the fuck alone?
I wanted to ignore it when another knock came, and finally, I dragged my ass up from the bed and walked over there to answer the door. It better not be Oro . Irritated with the thought, I opened the door and suddenly wished it was Oro. Why? Because it was much easier to kick his ass than Gale’s.
“What the fuck—”
A blow to my face made me lose balance, and before I knew it, I was sent to the floor, my phone dropping from my hand. I covered my head while Gale proceeded to kick me, my teeth gritting with each hit until a blow to my side made me gasp for air. My mouth filled with a metallic taste, and I coughed out blood while attempting to get up and fight back. It was pointless. Gale wasn’t alone, and each time I tried resisting, a different man punched or kicked me. A strong pound on my head made the whole room spin, and I winced with pain as they struck my rib, right where Shay-Lee had yesterday. I heard a cracking sound, and I swear to God, I saw stars. Somehow, I managed to stay conscious and even spotted my phone on the floor not too far from me. Stretching my hand, I managed to touch it when Gale stepped on my fingers. I screamed, my voice overcoming the sound of cracking bones, as he twisted his foot and my palm crashed underneath his boot. Gale finally stepped back, yet the pain didn’t stop. Instead, my palm throbbed and burned like it was on fire. But before I could do anything about it, two of his men forced me to my feet.
“W-what the fuck do you want?” I spat in between coughing, eyes narrowing on Gale’s ugly face.
Gale’s eyes moved from me as he looked around the apartment, his jaw clenched the whole time. “The boss has a few questions he would like to ask,” he said nonchalantly before turning around.
“Questions? About what—” I was silenced when someone covered my head with a hood and shoved me to start walking.
I was screwed.
So. Fucking. Screwed.