Chapter 36 Hana
HANA
“Hhummm,” I said, not sure what Amber had just said because my eyes were too busy fixed on the news alert that had just appeared on my phone screen.
Long-serving police commissioner murdered in carjacking
I didn’t feel fear very often, but the news sent my skin prickling with a sick sensation that I couldn’t let myself think too much about, because if I did, I’d fall apart, and now was not the time to do that.
Not only would Amber and Jarrid question why I was losing my shit, but also, if I was right, my life was about to get a whole heap more complicated than it was already, and I needed my wits about me.
“You’re still not listening. Are you okay?” Amber asked, the concern clear in her tone. I swallowed hard, giving her my full attention.
“Sorry. Miles away. What were you saying?”
I put down my phone and picked up my coffee. It was cold, but holding the mug gave me something to do with my hands.
“I was asking if you’re okay. After Roman stormed into the diner last night, Jarrid and I were worried about you, weren’t we, baby?”
Jarrid looked so uncomfortable—like he was guilt-ridden for being here after I ended things with Roman.
I tried not to pay him too much attention, answering Amber’s question. “I’m good. He was pissed I left town without telling him, and now, whatever we were is over.”
Amber let out a dissatisfied sigh. “Such a shame because I didn’t even know you were seeing him, and now it’s done, but we didn’t even get to double date.”
I side-eyed her, not sure whether her tone was annoyed or mocking.
Whichever it was, it sounded strange coming from her, and it left an uncomfortable ball knotting in my chest. “Well, I’m sorry I’ve ruined your romcom plans, but it was never serious.
” Amber’s face fell, and I felt awful for taking my mood out on her.
“Sorry, I’m being a bitch. The last few weeks have been a lot. I’m knackered, that’s all.”
Amber reached for my hand, taking it in hers and squeezing. “Where did you even go? You didn’t mention you were going away.”
I shook my head. If I wasn’t telling Roman where I’d been, I sure as hell wasn’t telling someone as pure and innocent as Amber. I’d ruin her. “Just some family stuff.”
Her lips pursed. “You don’t have family. Isn’t that what you said?”
“Stepfather.” I shrugged, trying not to show how I really felt about the man who’d called me up out of the blue and tried to blackmail me with the past he forced me into. “We’re not close, but he needed a favour, and he’s a difficult man to say no to.”
She paused before replying, “But it’s all sorted now? All good?”
I faked a smile that I hoped was more natural than it felt as I stared down at my hands, trying not to think about the things they’d done. “All good.”
“And Roman?”
I rolled my shoulders, trying to pretend that ending it with him hadn’t bothered me, when it had broken my heart. “It’s over. You’ve met him. He’s so intense.”
Jarrid’s laugh was loud, pulling my gaze to him.
“What?” He widened his eyes innocently. “It’s the perfect way to describe him.”
Amber stood. “I’m worried about you, Hana.
I know I’ve not been around much, but if you want to talk, if you need anything, give me a call.
Promise.” She wrapped her arms around me from behind and leaned her head on my shoulder.
“And if you need to escape for a while, have a proper break, I know the perfect place.” She said it so quietly, I didn’t even think Jarrid heard.
His phone buzzed as he stood, his expression turning serious.
“Sorry, Amber, this is work, and it’s urgent. I have to go into the office for a couple of hours.”
She pouted. “But we had plans.” He stepped closer to her, pulling her to his chest.
“I know. And I’ll make it up to you in that way you like so much.
” Amber buried her face in her hands, making me laugh.
The two of them were so good together—his protective side, along with her innocence.
My mind instantly flitted back to Roman and his growly, stalker-like protection, and how safe he’d made me feel, but he had to ruin it by telling me he loved me.
I couldn’t do it to him—I wasn’t made for love.
I was broken, and the destruction I left in my wake as I moved through my life was testament to that.
He deserved better, and even if we started something together, it wouldn’t take him too long to realise it, and it would break my heart when he left me like everyone else had.
“You’re welcome to stay here,” I offered, not really meaning it, because I just wanted to be on my own.
Amber lifted her head to look at me. “Na, you look like you need to eat ice cream in the bath.” Then her smile dropped. “Unless you want me to stay. Then I totally can.”
“I’m good. I think the bath and ice cream sound perfect.”