Chapter 40
Present
“Think I won’t do the same to this dickhead?”
I stared at him, my heart jumping out of my chest. “You’re insane.”
“ Insane about something ,” He murmured, his eyes and voice somber.
I didn’t know what I felt.
Sadness.
For all the times a guy ghosted me over text. Sitting alone at a restaurant table, waiting, only to be stood up. For dates that never made it back from the bathroom. Rejection and insecurity I had to work hard on to get over, and not let it affect me.
Or lust.
For this man, who just admitted to being so obsessed with me, he left the country for four years to try get me out of his head, only to end up stalking me the entire time and getting rid of any competition, before finally giving in and returning to win me back. A man I once thought myself in love with as a teenager.
Or pissed off .
For all the pain he’s put me through over the years instead of just confessing his feelings to me.
The torture of not knowing what happened between us. Why it ended.
For not being able to stop thinking about him or move on, no matter how hard I tried, or how many years passed.
“You’re… The worst .” My chin trembled slightly, the words leaving me in a whisper.
He shook his head, stepping closer. “I could be so good to you.”
“This doesn’t make everything okay, Trevor!”
“Nothing matters except us,” He pushed, closing in.
But I couldn’t let him touch me right now. I rounded the small sofa at the foot of my bed, putting distance between us again. I was so angry, I was shaking.
“ You left! Without saying anything!”
“It’s not that simple, Natalia.”
“You wanted to get rid of me? Fine!”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about–”
Four years, I played out how this conversation, would go. What I would say. What he would say. And now that I was finally letting it all off my chest, I couldn’t stop.
“I didn’t look for you! I didn’t ask for you! I didn’t think about you!”
“Natalia–”
“I was perfectly fine while you were gone.” Tears burned my eyes; my breathing shook. “I didn’t care! I didn’t cry! I barely even touched myself!”
Trevor glanced up from the floor, his dark eyes meeting mine.
An intense blush covered my face.
One, because I’d just admitted to fantasizing about him over the last few years.
And two, because it was a lie. It was nowhere near ‘barely’. It was more like a necessity. We might’ve only had enough sex to fill two nights but it had been an intense two days of non-stop, crazy, hot sex that had left me aching and empty and needy for that rush again.
He took a threatening step towards me.
“No.” I shook my head.
I could have sworn his muscles flexed under his suit.
“Trevor, I’m serious.” I took a few steps back, raising my hand as if to stop him. “ Don’t .”
He didn’t pause.
“That’s not what I meant–” My lower back hit something and there was a soft clink . Glancing over my shoulder just in time, I caught the lamp I nearly knocked over, placing it back on the console table.
When I turned back around, I was faced with his large, muscular chest. I hissed – hating the effect he had on me – when his hand went into my hair, pulling me into him. Then his other hand went into my hair too, angling my face to meet his.
“You know how this is going to end, baby.” His lips were only an inch away from mine. “Stop pushing me away.”
Fixing my face, I looked him dead in his eyes. “Maybe I didn’t use technology to meet someone.”
He ran his tongue over his teeth. “Sure. I wouldn’t have been able to know without hacking your phone. But you have this requirement that men take you on dates before going any further.” His smirk took a dangerous turn. “You never had that issue with me.”
Stronzo.
“I’m taking back what’s mine, Natalia.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have lost it in the first place.”
“Go on, baby. Tell me who you’ve been with that I don’t know about. Tell me, so I can rip their fucking hearts out of their chests.”
“Why?” Natalia sighed, her breathing still shaking with unshed tears, and I wanted to stab myself in the ribs for making her cry.
“Because you’re mine , Natalia.”
Her soft, brown eyes turned glossy. I felt her jaw tense under my hands, and I knew she was going to bring up me leaving again. So, I spoke first.
“ Have been. Since the moment you spilled your champagne on my shirt, and I’m fucking sick of pretending otherwise.”
She inhaled a sharp breath.
“So, I suggest you give Francesca a call and let her know you won’t be making it to the blind date after all.” I held her firmer in my hands, pulling her tighter into me, masking the roughness in my movements. “Because neither of us is leaving until this is fixed. Once and for all.”
“This?”
“ Us .”
Her lips pouted and a single tear fell down her cheek. “I can’t go through this again with you, Trevor.”
My face fell. I frowned, my jaw set with determination.
Before I could respond, she turned away from me, giving me her back as she rested her hands on the console table, her head hanging low.
I could blame her. I could blame her father. I could blame Gìovanni. I could blame our families’ rivalry.
But in reality, the only one who was at fault was me.
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head.
My strong arms wrapped around her, circling her waist as I pulled her into me. I nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck.
“You’re right. All of this is my fault. I shouldn’t have left. I should’ve fought harder.”
Her breathing calmed.
“I’m not asking you to forget or forgive what I did. I’m asking for a chance to let me make it better.” When she didn’t respond, a sharp pain shot through my chest. I hugged her tighter. “Natalia, please …”
“I don’t want you to be mad,” She whispered.
I frowned. “Mad at what, baby?”
“The number.”
My jaw clicked with tension. Although my blood boiled, I didn’t let it on. I swallowed the toxic possession down. “Your past is not my right.”
She glanced at me, over her shoulder, with those big, soft brown eyes. “You promise?”
“I promise.” Mostly. I was already planning the ways I would kill every man on that list. But the only thing that mattered to me in that moment was Natalia.
“You were my first kiss.” Her whisper sent goosebumps through my body.
First.
My blood burned hotter. The need to know anything else, gone.
“What else was I the first at?” My hand moved between the opening of her towel, finding her waist.
“You were the first to touch me.”
My fingers dug into her soft skin. “Touch you were, amai ?”
“ Everywhere .”
I tugged her towel down, exposing her glistening, olive skin. My hand slid up, cupping one of her breasts, while my forearm pushed the other up. My other hand slid down and dipped, cupping her between the legs.
“Was I the first to touch this pussy?” I murmured, feeling how wet she was.
“ Yes .”
“ Tell me ,” I growled, on the last fraction of my restraint.
“You were the first to touch me there,” She breathed out.
I hummed in agreement and bit her neck. My hands pressed harder into her soft body. “Was I the first to see this pretty pussy, too?”
She nodded.
“Yeah?”
She turned to look at me, over her shoulder, her caramel hair all in her face. “Yeah.”
“ Tell. Me .”
She was my divine obsession.
Everything about her drew me in, heart and soul. Every look, every breath she took felt like a prayer I didn’t know I was saying. She stayed in my mind like a perfume I couldn’t forget, sweet and perfect and impossible to ignore.
Loving her felt like fate.
Wanting her was something I couldn’t control.
And I had given everything for her, even when it led to my ruin.
“You were the first to see… All of me.”
A primal need to have her and never let her go worked its way through my veins. Grabbing each of her breasts in one hand, I pulled her into me again; massaging them, molding them in my fists. “Was I the first to squeeze these perfect tits?”
Her head fell back on my chest, a soft moan escaping her parted lips. She nodded.
“What about my hands in this beautiful hair?” I fisted her heavenly caramel strands, tilting her face back to me.
That breathy mmm sound left her.
My fist tensed in her hair. My eyes dropped to her pink, pillowy lips. “I was the first to kiss these gorgeous lips?”
“Mhm…”
“Tell me again,” I urged, needing to hear her say it.
“You were the first… And only to kiss me.”
Only.
Her hand came up to touch my face, the message in her eyes clear. “There’s never been anyone else,” Natalia spoke so softly – just the way I remembered when she wasn’t mad at me – and I knew she was telling the truth.
Anger, so venomous, spilled through my veins.
She averted her eyes. “You promised you wouldn’t get mad.”
“I could never be mad at you, amai . I’m mad at myself.”
She twisted in my hold to wrap her arms around my neck. “Why?”
It was all on the table. There was no point in holding back now.
“Leaving four years ago because I was stupid and jealous.”
Something cracked in her eyes. “Trevor…”
I could tell a million questions worked their way through her brain, from why to who . But the moment I kissed her, it all dissolved into irrelevance.
It was only her and I that mattered. I would fix this. Because fuck if I would spend another day of my life without the woman I loved by my side.
We both groaned into the kiss, my lips parting hers to taste her deeper.
“I missed you so fucking much, baby,” I pulled back to groan before kissing her again.
“I can’t believe you left,” She whined, her pouty lips pressing into mine, just as her hand hit my chest softly.
I forced her to kiss me again. “I’m sorry.” My rough palms traveled down to her thighs, lifting her up. “So fucking sorry. I was stupid.”
“You should’ve spoken to me.” Her hand hit my chest again, fisting my suit.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Without pulling away, I walked us across the room, kissing her even deeper. “ God, I missed you .”
The moment we hit the bed, she was tugging on my belt. While she worked on my trousers, I unbuttoned my shirt. She pushed my shirt down my shoulders while I pulled my pants down along with my boxers.
Pushing my hands between Natalia’s body and the mattress, I wrapped her in my arms, pulling her close. I was so hard, I didn’t need to use my hand to line up to her entrance. She whimpered when the head of my cock rubbed between her folds. She was so wet and ready; close to begging for me to take her.
Slowly, I pushed inside her, my eyes focused on hers.
Pleasure shot through my veins. Being with her again, after all this time, felt like coming home to heaven.
Natalia gasped at the same time I groaned. She was so tight it felt like the first time all over again.
My eyebrows drew in a deep frown at the realization.
“Was I the first to be buried deep inside you?”
Natalia placed her hands on either side of my face, pulling me in until our foreheads were touching. “ Only. ”
“Natalia… You should’ve told me.” I shook my head. “Fuck, I’m sorry… I was so rough that night.”
“No, you weren’t. I asked you to go slow, and you did. Remember?”
Of course, I remembered. I’d been fucking my fist to that memory for the past four years.
That didn’t change the fact that no one’s first time should be in a public place, on a desk.
Fuck. I really was an asshole.
I fucked her slowly – the way I should’ve the first time – getting her used to my size again after all this time. I rolled my hips into her, working my cock deeper, pushing her into the soft mattress – where we should’ve had our first time .
“Want to know a secret, amai ?” I rasped, my voice dark and obsessive. And she nodded, loving it. “I haven’t been with anyone else either.”
“Trevor…” She whimpered.
“Since you spilled your champagne on me.”
She gasped when I bottomed her out.
“Haven’t even kissed anyone else.”
She squeezed around me like a vice, forcing me to go harder.
“ Couldn’t .”
“Trevor…” She gasped again, feeling my length despite how incredibly slow I was moving.
“I was stuck thinking about this girl’s caramel hair and soft brown eyes.”
“ Oh, my God, Trevor …” She sobbed, her sharp nails slashing down my back. Two tears fell down her temples.
“Does it feel good, baby?” I wiped one tear with my thumb, then kissed the other one away.
“ So good .” She pushed her head back into the pillows, her hands slightly slapping the sides of my face in passion and pulling me in. “ Oh, my God …”
Her thighs pressed into the sides of my body, her pussy pulsing and drenching my length, as she came on my cock.
My own pleasure curled at the bottom of my spine, and after two more pumps, I stroked deep inside her and stayed there, filling her with my cum. Something dark took over me, compelling me to pull out slightly, only to stroke back into her and push my cum even deeper inside her.
My chest rumbled in approval as I closed the distance between our lips, kissing her with a sweet pull. “ I missed us .”
She made that breathy mmm noise again, her arms wrapping around my neck, pulling me closer.
When I rolled my hips into her, pushing her up the bed, she gasped in my mouth. Then she wrapped her legs around me and pulled me closer.
“Fuck, baby. Tell me you missed me, too.”
“You’re a dick,” She managed to say, struggling under me, against the sheets.
“ You love this dick ,” I growled low, grinding slowly and bottoming her out, earning a tortured gasp.
“See?” Natalia breathed hard. “ Dick .”
I smirked, rolling my hips a little faster and a little harder, feeling her pussy squeezing me so fucking tight, her ass lifted a little in the air every time I pulled out. “Fuck yeah, you missed me.”
She groaned, her gaze dropping to how we bounced on the bed with each of my thrusts.
“You missed me stretching you out like this. Fucking you nice and slow. Making you come so good, it’d never be the same by yourself. Leaving you wanting more no matter how much you played with this pretty pussy.”
“ Trevor… ” She whimpered, and I felt her open to take me slightly deeper.
“That’s it, baby,” I growled, my cock only growing harder. “Let me in.”
“ Oh, my God… You’re so deep .”
I groaned in approval, burying my face in her neck. “ You take it so good .”