Chapter 18
18
KOLBI
T he last three days between the party and now have been the longest three days of my life. Since the office was closed for the holiday, I had nothing to do to preoccupy my time and I could only spend so much time riding my skateboard around the city. Magnolia had texted me several times over the last few days but I ignored all of them, unsure of what to say. My stomach churned when I thought about how I was treating her after kissing her at the party.
I meant what I said when I told her we were from different worlds. She grew up with a silver spoon on every plate and I grew up microwaving my dinners in a plastic container. While I had broken through to her world in my adult years, I knew that a man who grew up like I did wasn’t fit for a girl like her. She told me herself, her parents cared about lineage and bloodlines, and I’m sure they would be less than thrilled if their daughter got together with me. The professional conflict alone was reason enough for me to need to distance myself from her.
But what happened between us on Saturday wasn’t making things any easier.
Looking down at the black velvet box, I knew that I should tuck it away and forget I bought it. For some strange reason one night while I was rereading our texts, I made the hasty decision to buy her a Christmas gift. It wasn’t much, just a small gold bracelet with a Magnolia flower in the center of it. I’d planned on giving it to her at the party, as a gesture of friendship, but forgot after I’d gone and fucked everything up by kissing her.
Why did I have to kiss her? Why did I now have to live with the knowledge of what it felt like to have her lips on mine when I know I can’t have her. This is what you get for thinking you could have her as just a friend and nothing more.
“Yo, Kolbi! You here man?” I heard Malcolm call out to me from downstairs.
Quickly closing the box. I tucked it behind some clothes in the top drawer of my dresser before heading downstairs to meet my friend. Walking down the steps, I caught the sight of him pulling off a knit cap and shaking out his almost shoulder-length hair. He’d always kept it short in high-school, respecting the requests of his traditional Asian parents and doing as they asked. But once he went off to college and came home, he had put on fifty pounds of pure muscle, had grown out his hair, and had some new ink he hadn’t had when he left home. He was wearing a pair of thick, dark framed glasses and was carrying a brand-new bottle of whiskey. When I met him at the bottom of the steps, he pushed it towards me.
“Merry Christmas, Kolb. I swiped it from the bar just for you. I know it’s your favorite.” He gave me a sly grin and I took the bottle from him with an eye roll.
“I could have paid you for this, you know?” I barked over my shoulder as I walked towards our game table. While it was only Tuesday, we were doing our weekly campaign night a day early as Hank and Bailey would be traveling tomorrow to do Christmas with her family.
“But then it wouldn’t be a gift, it would have been an errand,” he shot back.
“I don’t want a gift that’s stolen, ” I shook my head at him as I opened the bottle. “I don’t think my contacts at Charleston PD would appreciate this.”
“You worry too much. The bar won’t even notice.” He waved a hand at me and grabbed two glasses from the bar cart that stood in the corner of the formal dining room just off the kitchen and set them down in front of me. I poured us both a shot and handed him his.
“Merry Christmas, brother. Here’s to stolen Christmas presents,” I joked.
“To stolen Christmas presents.” We both chuckled and threw back the drinks. The whiskey was warm yet smooth on my tongue and reminded me of how Magnolia felt against me as I held her on the banister of the gazebo.
“Who stole Christmas presents?” I turned to see Hank and Bailey standing in the doorway of the kitchen watching Malcolm and I take a shot. They were both holding a gift and exchanged a look before looking back to us.
“The Grinch, of course,” Malcolm laughed again before pouring himself another shot. He nodded to me to ask if I wanted another but I shook my head. I walked over and shook Hank’s hand before leaning over and giving Bailey a polite kiss on the cheek. She returned the gesture then set the gift she was holding down on the table and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me in for a hug.
“Merry Christmas, Kolbi. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me this year, I wouldn’t be where I am if it weren’t for you.” I pulled her in and held her tight to my chest. I knew she was referring to how I helped in bringing the man who attacked her to justice last month. If it weren’t for the technology I had access to or my connections around the city, he’d still be out there and she would still be carrying the weight of it on her shoulders.
“Of course. You’ve done so much for our boy that I would do it all over again if I had to. I’m so glad you’ve become part of our dysfunctional little family.” She pulled away from me and gave me a wide smile that you could notice from across a crowded room.
“Don’t tell the others this,” she started before leaning in to whisper in my ear, “but you’re my favorite.” I gave a low chuckle and hugged her again before she winked at me and walked to meet Hank.
As Malcolm and Hank got settled in at the table, Conrad came storming in from the front room looking flustered and upset. The three of us exchanged a look before turning back to him.
“You okay, man?” Hank offered warrily. Conrad was typically even-keeled, but he had this distinct look to him that we’d all grown to know to mean ‘tread carefully.’
“Traffic made me late and I hate being late. Why are the roads so busy anyway? Christmas isn’t for two full fucking days.” He ripped his jacket off and threw it on the back of his chair. He sat down for a brief moment before a look of realization dawned on him and he stood up again. “Goddammit I left everyone’s gifts in my car.” We all bit back our laughs as we watched him storm outside again, slamming my front door behind him as he went.
“He really needs to learn how to relax,” Bailey murmured from behind Hank where he sat at the table.
“What he needs is to get laid,” Malcolm barked from his seat, pulling his lips back into a shit-eating grin.
Once Conrad returned, we did a quick gift exchange between all of us and then started in on our weekly game. We’d been playing this specific campaign for roughly six months now and were deep in the lore of the imaginary world I had crafted for my friends to play in. For the next few hours, they battled monsters and fought different clans to reach the next step in their journey as a group. As we went, I fought to keep my mind focused on what was happening in the present versus what had happened just a few days ago. After a solid three hours of gameplay, the boys and I wrapped it up in time for everyone to head home around ten.
“What’s everyone doing tomorrow?” Hank asked as he helped to clear the table.
“I’m doing an afternoon shift at the bar so other people can head home. Then I’m meeting up with my parents at home and staying at their place. I’m trying to make my dad happy for once instead of disappointing him like I’ve done for the last five years.” The tension in the air grew thick as Malcolm spoke. We all knew how the relationship between him and his father had grown strained when he decided not to go back to school like his parents expected him to. Malcolm hit a rough patch our senior year in college but had managed to pull himself out of it.
“That’s nice. I’m staying home tomorrow and avoiding everything and everyone. I’m not interested in the least in being out with the idiots who didn’t plan appropriately.” Leave it to Conrad to not read the room.
“What about you Kolbi, what are you doing for the holidays?” Bailey asked me as they all stood by the front door, about to head home.
“I have dinner before mass with my family tomorrow and then Christmas day with everyone out at my parents’ place.” The holiday was a big deal for my family and every year we’d all get together to celebrate. Dinner on Christmas Eve and then we’d all pile into my parents’ house for gifts the next day. My aunties and cousins would come and we would all open gifts together and spend the day celebrating. It was one of my favorite days of the whole year because it was a full, uninterrupted day with my family.
“That sounds nice,” Bailey commented with a smile. We all exchanged hugs, even Bailey and Conrad, before my friends left my place for good. I watched them all pull out of my driveway before closing the front door and locking it behind me.
Once in my bedroom, I stripped out of what I was wearing and jumped into the shower. These days I kept my showers short to avoid giving myself too much time alone to think about her while I was naked with hot water running down my back. After getting myself off a few times to the thought of her in here with me, I set the rule for myself that I had to be in and out in under ten minutes. Once I stepped out of the shower, I pulled on a pair of shorts and slipped into my overstuffed king-size bed and reached for my phone which had been sitting on my bedside table. Doing what I always did these days, I opened up my messages and scrolled through the thread of texts we’d shared.
She’d texted me earlier this afternoon like she had the last few days since I’d seen her. But just like all the others, I ignored this one too. I couldn’t trust myself not to cross a line with her again. When I read her text from today, my eyes flickered over to the dresser I had been standing at not even a few hours earlier.
Flower:
You can’t avoid me forever, Jack. Come January, my father’s campaign kicks off and we will be seeing a lot more of each other.
I know you want this as much as I do.
I know you want this as much as I do.
No shit I want this. Since that night with her in the garden, I’ve felt this dull ache in my body that I can’t seem to get to go away no matter how many pain relievers I take. It’s like she sank a hook into me and wouldn’t let me go no matter how hard I tried to shake myself from her. Not only do I want this, I need this.
I need her .
Flinging the sheets off, I stepped out of bed and reached the dresser in a few long strides. I pulled open the top drawer where I’d stashed the box and opened it again, studying the bracelet that I’d picked out just for her. Mulling over my thoughts, I set the opened box down on top of the furniture and walked to get back into bed. From where I laid, I stared at the piece of jewelry and knew that it wasn’t meant to sit in the back of the drawer for the rest of time.
It was meant to be worn by the most beautiful flower I’d ever seen.